by LK Shaw
“Fuck,” Donovan bellowed as he jumped up and raced to his bag. I struggled wildly trying to loosen my bonds, but they held fast. Sobs poured out of me.
“Phebe! Stop moving, Sunshine. I’m cutting the rope off now.”
The next tug of my arm had it free and I clawed at the other rope trying to remove it from my wrist. Suddenly, my second wrist was free, my ankles immediately following. Finally, I was free and scrambled away from Donovan and backed as far away from him as I could until my retreat was blocked by the headboard.
“Jesus, Phebe. It’s me, Donovan. Listen to my words. You’re safe. You’re okay.” He kept repeating them until they finally registered in my overwrought brain. My cries turned to whimpers and then into a few sniffles until finally only a hiccup or two remained.
I looked up at Donovan whose face was ghost white. Now that I’d calmed down, I needed him to comfort me.
“Hold me, please,” I begged him, my voice soft.
He hesitated for only a minute before gingerly moving closer. When he was sure I wasn’t going to freak out, he moved right next to me and pulled me to him, wrapping both of his arms tightly around me. My head rested on his chest and my arms were tucked against my chest, my hands folding underneath my cheek. Neither of us said a word. Eventually, exhaustion took over and my eyes began to droop from drowsiness.
“Don’t leave me,” I mumbled with fatigue.
I could have sworn I heard “I’m sorry, Phebe.” Something about his tone pricked at my subconscious, but I was too tired to decipher it. I fell fast asleep in Donovan’s arms, not knowing everything would change tomorrow.
Phebe
When I woke the next morning, I was alone in bed. I smelled coffee and breakfast so I knew Donovan was still here. My body tingled with the reminder of the feel of Donovan finally inside me. I recalled last night and how amazing it was until my hysterical reaction ruined everything. I hated that I lost it so soon after it was over and didn’t truly get to appreciate the wonderful post-coital after glow. But just being in Donovan’s arms after I’d calmed down had helped. I was anxious for a repeat of it. The orgasms, not the panic attack.
I dragged myself out of the bed and quickly freshened up before heading to the kitchen. When I got there I stood still, basking in the gloriousness that was this man. My heart skipped a beat as I just watched him. He let out a long sigh and my smile stuttered as I read something on his face I wasn’t sure I liked. It was a look of regret. Trying to brush it off, I strolled into the kitchen and sat next to him.
“Good morning, Sir.” I knew we weren’t in a scene, but it somehow seemed important that I remind him of what we’d given each other last night. I frowned when he wouldn’t meet my gaze as he mumbled “morning” in return.
This wasn’t good.
Ignoring his sour mood, I tried to make conversation. “Thank you for last night, Donovan. It was one of the best nights of my life.”
At this, he finally looked at me. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach at what I saw.
“I need time to think.” His words came out mournful.
My spine stiffened. “Time to think about what, Donovan?”
He huffed out a breath. “Just… things.”
My heart dropped. Then, I got pissed. “Are you running away again?”
His head snapped up at my caustic tone. “What? No. I just need to figure things out. This has nothing to do with you. It’s all about me. And my own insecurities. I know your memories are hard for you to overcome. The courage you possess to face them head on is awe-inspiring to me. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come Phebe. I just need to get my head in the right space so I can be the shoulder for you to lean on. The one who helps you through the panic and fear.”
“I’m not sure what you want from me, Donovan.” I blinked back the tears.
He rushed over to me and reached out to cup my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing the liquid away. “Please Sunshine, don’t cry. I want you, Phebe. Your love. But mostly, your submission.”
“I tried giving it to you last night.”
His nod was solemn. “You did, and it was beautiful. I didn’t handle your reaction well. I know this. I don’t have an explanation for it. When you screamed out ‘Red’ in that terrified voice, it shifted something elemental inside me. It jarred me.”
My anger deflated at his words. I didn’t realize that this was also hard for him. So many times he’d told me it was his job to protect me. To take care of me. It was finally sinking in how difficult it was for him to not be able to control my fear. My reactions. As a Dom, someone who was always in control, it must be extremely tough for him to witness my terror and not be able to fix it. To make it better.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. When he returned my embrace, I pressed closer absorbing his heat and pouring all my feelings into my hug.
“I know seeing me in pain is hard for you. I’m sorry I didn’t understand how much.” I rested my cheek on his chest, inhaling his scent.
“It guts me, Phebe. Each and every time. I’ll continue to do it, because I love you, but I need some time to fix my own shit. Okay?”
I nodded against him, my heart aching at the sorrow emanating from him. He pulled back from the embrace and kissed me on the forehead, lingering a few seconds before moving away from me.
“Your breakfast is in the oven. I’m going to head out for a bit. I’ll be back later. Are you going to be okay?” He sounded so defeated.
I held back additional tears, not wanting to upset him more. “I’m fine. Thank you for breakfast.”
Donovan gave a little nod before he reached for my hand to bring it to his mouth for a kiss.
He didn’t say goodbye as he walked out the door. Once I’d finished eating and cleaning up a bit, I went out back since I did all my best thinking out there. I got comfortable in my big yellow, wooden chair and as I watched my fish dart around in their pond, I began to nod off, more exhausted than I realized. Soon, my eyes drifted shut and I fell fast asleep.
Jerking awake, my eyes quickly scanned the yard as the hairs on my arm and on the back of my neck stood on end.
Danger.
I don’t know how I knew something was wrong, but I did. There was a thick, evil smell in the air. I slowly rose from my chair and glanced down at the pond. The fish were swimming frantically and darting toward the bottom of the pond as though trying to escape a predator. They must have sensed the same thing I did.
My feet moved me slowly forward until I reached the deck, where my step hesitated before I continued onto the wooden surface, the noise sounding overly loud. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I crossed the deck, closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and opened the French doors, the sense of dread growing with each step I took. Nothing stirred as I advanced into the kitchen. The air was heavy and still.
Continuing to move forward, I kept my eyes straight ahead as I wandered down the short hall and into the empty living room.
“Roger?” I called out, my voice shaking.
No response.
I continued through the living room until I reached the closed doors of the office. I watched as my hands reached out to grasp the two door handles before slowly turning each one and pulling the doors open toward me.
“Roger?” I whispered, knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. My eyes darted to and fro around the room expecting to see the hidden enemy, but the room was also empty. A slight sound came from behind me, and I froze as all too familiar fingers touched my shoulder and stroked down my arm before cupping my elbow.
Unconsciously, my eyes closed as another hand pulled my hair back, exposing my neck. Soft lips placed a light kiss where my neck met my shoulder. Warm breath tickled my ear, and a single tear fell from beneath my lashes as the voice of my nightmares came from next to me, its Russian accent strong.
“I’ve missed you, malen’kaya igrushka?”
I felt a sharp pinch in the same spot where he’d placed his kiss. Within seconds, my v
ision grew fuzzy and a buzzing sounded in my ear. In those final moments, my heart cried out for Donovan. Then the world fell dark around me.
Cotton filled my mouth as I slowly came to awareness. A sense of déjà vu hit me. Fearing the worst, I moved my arms expecting to feel resistance. Instead, they moved freely. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room. I sat up from the bed and looked around. I was in a gorgeous bedroom, completely opposite of the small, dingy bedroom Vlad had brought me to during my training. In contrast, this room was huge, with a wall of floor to ceiling windows covered in a sheer curtain that fluttered from the breeze coming through. The smell of the ocean wafted through the air along with the sound of waves crashing outside.
A shiver racked my body at the cool air and I looked down at the white, gossamer gown that whirled around my calves. It reminded me of a nightgown a woman would wear on her honeymoon. Another shudder raced through me, but for an entirely different reason. I hopped off the four-poster bed and threw back the curtains. Damn. The house was situated practically on the edge of a cliff. Other than a small patch of grass between the house and the cliff, nothing but an expanse of water reached out as far as my eyes could see, with no other land in sight.
A sense of despair rushed through me. I frantically began the explore the room, including the en suite bath, looking for a weapon but came up empty. The click of a lock coming unlatched caught my attention and I turned toward the door just as it opened and Vlad stepped through. He was dressed in his usual black slacks and white button-down shirt. He’d rolled the sleeves up, exposing his ropy forearms but left the top two buttons undone, providing me a glimpse of his muscled chest and the gold chain he always wore.
His hair was brushed back off his forehead and bound in a low ponytail. In his hand, he carried a glass with clear liquid, presumably water. His obsidian eyes lit up with arousal as he scanned my body from head to toe, the sheer gown I wore exposing everything to his view. There was no use trying to cover myself up.
“Ah, I see you wake, malen’kaya igrushka.” His smile sent shivers down my spine.
“I’m no longer your little toy, Vlad,” I snapped at him, revulsion dripping from every word.
His smile grew wider at the sound of his real name and at my defiance. “Ah, I remember when you call me Korol’. The name so sweet from your lips. Your mouth formed perfect ‘o’. It made my cock hard when you speak my rightful name. In no time, you scream it again as I lick and suck pussy of yours. You love my mouth on you, da?”
Bile rose at his words, but I swallowed it back. I wasn’t broken anymore. Donovan’s love had helped put all those shattered pieces back together again, and I couldn’t let this man ruin that. I drew on the strength Donovan gave me and a calmness washed over me.
“You may know how to play my body against me, but I’m no longer that weak woman you tried to destroy. I’m stronger than I ever was before and you can give my body all the pleasure it can take, but I will NEVER call you Korol’ again. You will never be my king. That title has already been taken by someone far more worthy than you ever will be.”
Vlad’s smile faltered. “What? Destroy you? Never. I merely bring out submissive side you never know exist. You bury it deep. I did this for you. For us. You should thank me for caring so much.”
Hysterical laughter burst from me.
“Thanking you? Because you cared for me?” I knew I sounded like a parrot, but I couldn’t help the sense of disbelief. As I stared at Vlad, I realized he truly thought he’d been doing be a favor. I shook my head in sadness. “Vlad, you nearly annihilated me. That’s not something you do to someone you purportedly care about.”
He seemed confused for a moment, but then it cleared and his smile returned. “No matter, you are here now. Soon, I deal with that pesky attorney. He is nothing but gnat who irritates me. I will crush him beneath my fist. He will be disposed of like your friend, Kieran. He tried double crossing me. See what I did to him?”
A sliver of sorrow rushed through me at confirmation that Vlad was the one who’d killed Kieran. I knew Donovan had his suspicions, but hearing it confirmed didn’t make it any easier to accept. The greater emotion was fear.
Not for myself.
Fear for Donovan.
I couldn’t allow him to see how his threat affected me. I needed to remain calm and in control.
“Donovan’s twice the man you’ll ever be, Vlad. He doesn’t have to force submission on someone to get them to love him.” As soon as I said it, I realized something.
Vlad had spent all that time breaking me down in order for me to be his queen.
His subservient queen.
It seemed to be the only way he knew how. It was as if he thought the more control he exerted over me, the more I would come to rely on him. The more I would love him. He saved me from the torture that Dmitri inflicted on me so I would think of him as my savior. My king. All this time I’d been hating him. Now, I just felt sorry for him.
I could tell my words infuriated him. “I see I am to begin your training again. I must remind you of your true ruler.”
He stormed out of the room then, slamming the door behind him, leaving me trembling in fear at his dire warning. I collapsed against the poster, my body barely able to support its own weight.
Donovan
Dread settled deep in my stomach, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to return to the house immediately. It reminded me of the sensation I often got in Afghanistan. I didn’t even bother packing up my briefcase. Instead, I practically raced out of the courthouse, calling out over my shoulder to my co-council that there was an emergency. Luckily court was just out of session.
I sped down the road toward the safe house, praying I was wrong and that all was well when I got there. Using my hands free button, I spoke through the Bluetooth system.
“Call Connor,” I barked to the imaginary operator. The sound of ringing blared through the speakers and the tinny voice of Connor came through a few long seconds later.
“Black.”
“I need you to have Josie pull up the surveillance from the house. Something’s wrong.”
Connor didn’t even question me. I heard him bark out Josie’s name. I could hear a muffled conversation in the background. My fingers thrummed impatiently on the steering wheel while I drove manically in the direction of Phebe’s house. Connor spoke up again. “She’s on it. Give her a minute.”
I swerved in and out of traffic cussing all the way. C’mon people, move. “Talk to me, Connor.”
“Almost there. Just a sec.” He bit out, although I could hear the tension in his voice. I knew he was just as impatient as I was. “Motherfucker! He growled and the knot that had settled in my stomach twisted viciously. “Donovan, man. He has her.”
My heart dropped at his words, even though I sensed them coming. Just then, I took a corner almost on two wheels. The house came into view.
“I’m pulling in now.” I disconnected the call as, seconds later, I skidded into the driveway and had barely cut the engine before I saw the front door slightly ajar.
Fuck.
I popped the trunk, jumped out, and ran to the back of the car. Lifting the liner on the inside of the trunk, I grabbed the gun hidden near the spare tire. I ran up the sidewalk and stealthily snuck through the open front door, my eyes scanning for any movement.
Immediately I felt Phebe’s absence. It was as though life had been completely sucked out of the house. I couldn’t smell any cookies being baked. No sounds of television. The house was silent and still. After clearing each room, I headed outside. The backyard was empty. I lifted the lock on the fence door, the springs groaning as I tried to push it open. It only moved an inch before it collided with something on the other side, stopping the door from opening further. I pushed it harder and then I heard the groan.
“Roger? Talk to me,” I bellowed as I finally spotted his legs on the ground through the crack.
He moaned again, his pain evident. “I’m here.” C
ame the barely discernible response.
“I’ll be right there. Hang on, man.” I released the door and ran back through the house and out the front door. I slid through the grass coming around the corner of the house and almost landed on my ass. It was then I spotted Roger. I raced over, coming to a skidding halt when I reached him. I dropped to my knees and began to put pressure on the wound in his chest.
He coughed and spit out blood. “I’m sorry, Donovan. They got the drop on me.”
“Fuck, Roger,” I exclaimed as he coughed up more blood.
“Kill… that—” more blood “— son of a…” His voice faded away as he let out a long breath. I waited, praying, for his chest to rise again, but it didn’t move. My hands fell away and my chin dropped to my chest. I said one final prayer, one of peace for Roger.
“God damn it,” I snarled as I pushed to myself to my feet and dug my phone out of my pocket.
“Talk to me, Donovan,” Connor barked out after the first ring.
“Roger’s dead,” I reported, my voice flat and devoid of emotion.
A crash sounded on the other end and a roar of fury echoed across the line. When Connor returned, he was breathing heavy. “They’re all fucking ghosts. Every single one of them.”
“God damn it, Connor. I need to know where he’s taken her.”
“Josie’s frantically working on it. She’s pulling up all the footage from traffic cams looking for them. She’ll find them. She thought she got a hit on some property off the coast, but she hasn’t gotten final confirmation. It’s a house out on Patterson Island,” Connor angrily spat, his own frustration clear.
I punched the gate door, pain shooting up my arm, but I barely acknowledged it. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing, man. I’ll go insane. Give me an address. It’s only a forty-minute drive. I’ll go check it out. Call me when Josie finds something.”
I felt Connor’s nod through the phone. “Will do. Same with you.”