by LK Shaw
“H—hi.” Josie stuttered.
I blinked and startled at the sound before giving her a little awkward wave, but not responding in any other way. God, what was wrong with me? My whole body, including my mind, seemed to be frozen.
“Do you mind if I sit down?” Josie gestured to the spot on the couch next to me. I nodded my assent. She sat and then just stared at me. I squirmed in my seat, and tried desperately to think of something to say, but the words were stuck in my throat. Shit, I couldn’t do this. I made a move to bolt when her hand reached out to clasp mine. I recoiled at her touch, but she held fast.
My eyes immediately went to the picture on the mantel. It was of a shot I’d taken of Donovan one morning after I woke before he did. He lay in the rays of the sun, the brightness illuminating his face with an angelic glow. I breathed in and out, focused on nothing but that picture. Eventually, my panic abated and my heartbeat slowed to a more even tempo. When I turned back to Josie, she sat with a horrified look on her face, tears tracing a path down her cheeks, her hand no longer gripping mine. Oh, fuck. Nothing like showing people how crazy you are.
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea you’d react that way.”
“It’s not your fault.” It came out as a whisper. “I don’t like people touching me.”
Josie gave a self-deprecating laugh as she wiped away her tears. “Jesus, I should have thought of that.”
“Didn’t realize you were dealing with a crazy person, did ya?”
“No! Don’t say that. You’re not crazy. I should have known better. Please, have a seat. I promise I won’t touch you again. I’m so sorry.”
We each took our respective places on the couch we’d previously occupied.
“So, that was a bit awkward.” It was probably the dumbest thing I could have said, but what else was there to say?
“God, I feel like such an asshole.”
“No, don’t worry about it. I was the freak who panicked for no reason.”
“I’ll forgive you, if you forgive me.”
“Deal.”
“So,” I drew out the word in one long syllable. “I guess we’re sisters?”
Josie nodded. “Yeah, we share the same father.”
“He was a right bastard.”
Josie barked out a laugh. “Of epic proportion. May he rot in hell. The only thing I can be thankful for was that he told me about you.”
She sobered quickly as though something occurred to her. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you. I looked for you every day for months. I swear I did.”
Judging by her expression, she was guilt-ridden. A tiny sliver of satisfaction slid through me at the thought, but I quickly chased it away. I wasn’t a spiteful person. At least, I didn’t used to be. Regardless, there wasn’t really anything I could say to her.
“So, Bridget tells me you are a photographer. Is that right?” Josie asked, almost awkwardly as though she wasn’t good at small talk.
“I am. Or rather, I’m trying to get back into it. I used to sell quite a few pictures through various art galleries across the country.” It seemed weird that I was the one trying to put her at ease.
“That sounds exciting.” She spoke with genuine enthusiasm, a smile on her face. “I’d love to see some of your work.”
I smiled at her in return. “I’d be happy to show it to you.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know a little more about each other. She told me about her collared sub, Miles. I had trouble wrapping my head around the fact that my sister was a Domme who had a sub. I was anxious to meet him. Since Donovan and I didn’t spend much time at Eden, I’d never seen them there.
We talked about our different childhoods growing up, including the fact that Josie had another half-sister, Casey. She didn’t say much about her, but she got a sad look on her face when she spoke her name.
Hours passed as we sat there talking until finally, Donovan peeked his head in the door letting me know he’d made dinner if I was hungry. Josie and I were both shocked at what time it was. I invited her to eat with us but she declined. She did, however, accept my invitation to come back soon and promised to stop by again in the next couple days.
I walked into the kitchen, the smells tantalizing my nose. I’d taught Donovan a few of my recipes and he was making one of my favorite dishes; garlic shrimp pasta. When I’d taken my seat, he bussed a kiss on my lips and handed me a glass of wine. I sipped the white liquid as I watched him bustle around the kitchen looking sexy in the apron he borrowed from me.
Donovan caught me smiling as he set my plate in front of me. Then he sat down next to me and took a sip of his own wine.
“What are you smiling about?” He asked with an answering smile.
“Just thinking about how much I love you.”
“Well, that’s definitely something worth smiling about.” He laughed as I tossed a small, broken off piece of garlic bread at him and stuck my tongue out at him.
Every day it got a little easier to loosen up and have fun. It was an amazing and heady feeling. One I rejoiced in. We finished our meal and we worked together to clean up the kitchen. Once it was spotless, I looked around in wonderment. I still couldn’t believe that this was my life.
“You ready for that movie?” Donovan asked after he’d put the last clean dish away.
“Only if I get to pick it out this time?” I giggled when he smacked my ass with the towel.
“I’ll race you to see who chooses.” He hadn’t even finished his sentence before he took off, leaving me in his dust. I growled before taking off after him.
One of the things I loved most about Donovan was that even though he’d cheated, he still let me win. As we cuddled on the couch watching Deadpool, I basked in Donovan’s love. It was like sunshine warming me from the inside out. I snuggled closer, knowing I would be forever safe in his arms.
Epilogue
Phebe
“When we first met, you thought karma was the reason all the bad things happened to you. Do you still believe that?” Donovan stroked my hair as we laid together, our bodies wrapped around each other.
“No. I think the reason was because everything that happened to me led me straight to you. I’ve always heard you had to hit rock bottom before you can go up. The worst thing to ever happen to me brought me the best thing to ever happen. I remember waking up on that day, and although I was terrified when I saw you, I felt a tug deep inside me. It was as though we were already tethered together; I just needed to untangle the knotted up string first.”
“It kills me to know you went through hell just to reach me. I wish I’d found you sooner, Sunshine.” His anguish was heavy between us. It almost strangled him.
“You found me when it was the most important. I love you, Donovan. Thank you for healing me. For changing me for the better. For taking all my broken parts and putting them back together.”
“You were never broken, Phebe. Merely bruised. You’re the strongest woman I know. I’d kill that bastard over and over again if I could.”
I tilted my head back slightly and dropped a kiss to his chin before snuggling closer into his side, my arm splayed across his warm chest. I remembered a time I never thought I’d be warm. The heat emanating from Donovan’s body proved otherwise.
“That’s what I love most about you. You wouldn’t hesitate to slay all my demons and never even blink. I can only hope I can be the woman, the submissive, you need.”
This time my head was tilted back by Donovan’s hand as he raised my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes.
“Don’t ever think that you’re not enough for me. Before you came into my life I’d lost all direction. I no longer knew who I was. The minute I met you, I knew what my purpose was. It was to love you. To protect and cherish you. But most importantly, it was to heal you with submission. To teach you how to take back your power. Your strength amazes me, Phebe. Most women would have broken, but not you. Never you. No matter what, you’re all I’ll eve
r need.”
Cold air teased my skin, causing a shiver, as Donovan pulled away to reach behind him and into the nightstand drawer. Tears filled my eyes and my breath caught in my chest when he turned back to me. In his hand was a small velvet box. He moved to a sitting position, gently tugging me up with him.
My hands shook as Donovan removed the cushion cut diamond engagement ring. It was a single stone with a double twisted band with small diamonds radiating down the sides. It was both simple yet classic, and I immediately loved it. He held my hand steady as he slid the cool metal down my finger.
“Phebe Lawson, you brought love back into my life. I thought it made me weak, but in fact, it’s the complete opposite. Together, we are stronger than anything out there. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
My only response was to throw my arms around him as I wept tears of joy. Donovan had brought light back into the darkness in which I existed. He made me whole. With him, I’d fight my demons and be the best wife, the best submissive, I could be. Donovan helped me see how strong I really was. There was nothing I couldn’t conquer, especially with him by my side.
A Secret Christmas
A Secret Christmas (c) 2017 by LK Shaw
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Penny and Marcus
“Santy Claus is coming!” Hailey, my nearly six-year-old step-daughter, hollered as she ran around the house. “Santy Claus is coming!”
Her excitement was contagious, and I couldn’t help but smile as she zoomed past me. Technically, she was correct, but it was still three days until Christmas, so his arrival was imminent, but not immediate. It was funny to see how much had changed since last year. She’d been mildly happy about “Santy Claus” last year, but this year she was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait until she saw the presents he brought her.
As I stood leaning against the doorframe of the living room, observing Hailey, my body temperature suddenly spiked. I let out a satisfied sigh and tilted my head a little so my gorgeous husband could keep nuzzling my neck. Marcus growled against my skin before nipping it with his teeth. I moved closer to him when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest.
“Good morning, beautiful wife,” came the deep voice in my ear that, even almost four years after I first met him, still sent shivers down my spine. I turned in Marcus’ arms and threw my arms around his shoulders. His head dipped for a kiss, and I met him halfway. I never expected my life to take the turn it had when I first showed up at that munch not so many years ago. If I hadn’t taken the leap, I never would have met the love of my life or have my amazing step-daughter.
But I was greedy and I wanted more. I wanted a baby. Marcus’ baby. We’d been trying for two years, but it still hadn’t happened. Except recently, I’d felt different. My periods had always been irregular anyway, so I couldn’t gauge it by that. I was planning on sneaking away at some point in the next day or two to buy a pregnancy test. I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case it came out negative. I was pushing forty and already a high risk pregnancy. My heart hurt at the thought of not being able to have a baby, but I tried not to stress about it. My doctor told me stress only made it more difficult. I hadn’t shared with Marcus my fears. I knew that he only wanted to have a baby because it was what I wanted, and if it never happened, Marcus wouldn’t be nearly disappointed as me. He was forty-five and already had a child.
A small, but hard body slamming into mine had Marcus breaking our kiss.
“I want a kiss too, daddy.” He bent down to scoop Hailey up, and she giggled as Marcus peppered kisses all over her face.
“Hello, to you too, sweet pea. Are you ready for Santa?” he asked as he set her on her feet.
She grabbed my hand and swung our connected limbs back and forth. “Of course I’m ready, Daddy. Mommy and I are going to get my picture taken at the mall with Santa, and I am going to tell him what a good girl I’ve been. Then I’m going to ask him for a brother or sister.”
I coughed and sputtered at her response. “Hailey, baby, we talked about this. It’s not up to Santa. But, you’re sweet to want to ask.”
With hands on hips and looking far older than her age, Hailey gave a disgusted huff. “Well, that’s just dumb. If Santa can fly around the world and give all the boys and girls what they want for Christmas, why can’t I ask for a baby brother or sister?”
Marcus, the jerk, laughed. “She has a point.”
I shot a glare in his direction. “Don’t encourage her, Marcus. In fact, now might be the perfect time to explain to your daughter where babies come from to dispel the notion that Santa can just drop one off.”
I had to hold back my laugh at the horrified expression on Marcus’ face. That should teach him.
“Sh—she’s your daughter too,” he stuttered. “A woman should explain that to her.”
“Yes, she is my daughter, but this kind of information should come from you.” By this time, I’d crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, enjoying watching him squirm.
Hailey, ever inquisitive and anxious to learn, piped up. “Yeah, Daddy, where do babies come from?”
Marcus fidgeted uncomfortably and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words were spoken. His eyes darted around the room looking for an escape route.
Taking pity on him, I stood from my reclined position and reached out to clasp Hailey’s hand. “C’mon sweetie, let’s leave your daddy alone. You and I will talk about this.”
I led Hailey down the hall and to her bedroom. Once the door was closed, we both collapsed on her bed in a fit of giggles. She and I had “the talk” months ago, with an age-appropriate discussion, of course. Hailey, however, thought it would be funny to play a trick on her dad when I’d told her boys were weird about talking about that kind of stuff. I don’t know if it was being an only child or the fact that her mother had been killed nearly in front of her, but Hailey was more mature than most six-year-olds I knew. Not that I knew many, but still.
She was a happy child and smart as hell, but there were times when she became serious and stoic. It was usually when she thought of Grace, her biological mother and Marcus’ ex-lover. I was the luckiest woman on the planet that Hailey and I had such a close relationship. She always talked to me when she was feeling blue, and we’d pull out the photo albums and invite Marcus to join us. He’d tell us story after story about Grace. Both Hailey and I had heard the stories hundreds of times, but we never tired of them. I even had a great relationship with Grace’s parents. In fact, I was looking forward to spending Christmas Eve with Thomas and Martha.
Christmas Day was spent with our other extended families. Every year, we all gathered at Connor and Bridget’s house since it was the biggest. Even then, it was a little cramped. Besides Marcus, Hailey, and me, there was Connor and Bridget’s Alex, Miles and Josie, and occasionally Webber and Katie. This year, Donovan and Phebe would be part of the crew.
Christmas had become my favorite holiday. Hailey’s infectious excitement was hard to ignore. She made the holiday be
tter, especially since the beginnings of depression were settling in. I was doing everything in my power to hide it from Marcus, but I knew pretty soon, he’d be able to tell something was bothering me. He read me so well. Always had.
“I really do wish Santa could bring you a baby, Mommy,” Hailey said after her giggles died down.
I sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled her up to sit next to me before wrapping my arm around her. I kissed her on the top of her head before speaking. “I know you do, sweetie, and I love you for that. But you know it doesn’t work that way. Now, let’s get your bag packed so we can be ready to go to Nana and Poppy’s house after we get done seeing Santa.”
Hailey and I spent the next twenty minutes packing her things. I left her in her room and headed to mine to get Marcus’ and my stuff together. After we left the mall, we were dropping Hailey off at her grandparent’s house and then Marcus and I had planned a romantic night that included going to dinner, the theater, and then spending the night in some swanky hotel with an in-room Jacuzzi tub. I couldn’t wait.
When I entered the room, I stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of my gorgeous husband. He’d just gotten out of the shower, and my gaze followed several droplets of water as they trailed down his muscular back before being absorbed in the low slung towel around his hips. I would never tire of looking at him. Even at forty-five, Marcus Allen was still sexy as hell. His muscles and rock-hard abs would put men in their 20s to shame. He worked out daily and kept in great shape. I still did yoga, but that was as close to working out as I got. I think I was allergic to exercise.