by Pam Godwin
I lie back on the concrete, every muscle in my body tensing at the thought. And that’s when I finally understand the crushing depths of sacrifice.
I know what I need to do.
CHAPTER 24
LAYNEE
I brace my hands against the tiles of the shower wall as warm water rains over my head. In the month following the charity dinner, I’ve gone through a parade of emotions. Regret, self-pity, rage, love, and deep despair. But most of all, I’ve felt like a failure. A failure to myself, to all the victims of abuse, and to Decker.
He had such high hopes for how my reveal would turn out, and his fury over the ugly reactions was devastating to witness. I know he was angry for me, not at me. He’s been nothing but protective and kind. But I can’t help feeling like an epic disappointment.
When I’m alone, I let myself wallow and doubt. Am I enough for him? Does he truly love me? Will he stay when he’s no longer paid to do so? I hate the doubt. It’s unproductive and self-destructive, but I’m only human, as much as the rest of the world likes to forget that.
Decker doesn’t forget. He’s always in my face, pressing me to talk, to share, to not pull away. I fucking love him for that. I love him so much it hurts.
I turn off the water and stare at my pruney fingers. Jesus, I must’ve been in here for an hour. I need to stop this. Stop hiding from him. Stop protecting myself from the possibility of heartache. Because it’s too late for that. If he leaves me, there will be no escape from the pain.
He isn’t Trey or Blake or even Reese. Decker is it for me, and I’ll fight for him until the last breath in my body.
I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. Steam hovers in the room as I run a brush through my hair and moisturize my face, opting to skip my whole nightly facial routine. All I want to do right now is go snuggle up to the sexy man who occupies my every thought.
When I enter the bedroom, the first thing I notice is the armchair sitting near the foot of the bed. Decker must’ve moved it from the corner of the room. Why?
He steps through the doorway, but he’s not alone. Reese trails behind him, and they both look guilty of something.
“What are you two up to?” I tighten the towel around me, surprised Decker isn’t losing his shit because I’m wearing next to nothing in front of Reese.
Decker strides toward the foot of the bed and pats the mattress. “Sit.”
“Okay.” I obey with a belly full of nerves. I don’t know what to make of his gruff tone and severe expression. “What’s this about?”
He moves to stand in front of the armchair, which is five feet away and facing the bed. Looks like he set up a confrontational sit down, like an intervention or something. Is that why Reese is here? But an intervention for what? I’m really confused.
Clasping his hands behind him, Decker widens his stance, filling my view with his strong muscular physique. The Eminem t-shirt molds to his ripped pecs and washboard abs. Biceps curve away from wide shoulders. Denim stretches around long defined legs, and the low dip of the waistband reveals indentations of V-cut that I love to trace with my tongue.
When I lift my gaze, the smoldering look in his eyes chases away my apprehension and arouses the feminine parts of me that will forever be obsessively and completely in love with this man.
“You’ve only ever asked me for one thing.” His gravelly voice flows through me in shivery waves. “You should know I’ll give you anything, baby. Anything at all.”
What did I ask him for? I rack my distracted brain and shake my head, staring up at him. “Decker, I don’t—”
“Reese.” He gives my best friend a chin lift.
Reese reaches behind his head and pulls off his t-shirt, exposing his lean runner’s build. He’s a gorgeous man, but he isn’t Decker. And why is he taking off his shirt? Decker does the same, and now I’m staring at two shirtless men in my bedroom.
I glace down at my tiny towel. “I’m suddenly feeling overdressed. You guys better start talking.”
“We’re not here to talk.” Decker’s pecs twitch and something akin to nervousness flashes across his expression.
Realization dawns a second before Reese steps in front of Decker and lowers to his knees, putting him eye-level with Decker’s groin.
You and Reese. I want to watch him suck your cock.
My eyes widen, and my heart rate explodes. I breathe in, out, unable to control my gasps. “You can’t be serious. I mean, you don’t want this, and I won’t—”
Reese groans. “Shut up, Laynee.” His hands fly to Decker’s waist, and his fingers dig in.
“No talking, Reese.” Decker fists a hand in Reese’s blond hair, and that hard grip sends a tremor down Reese’s spine.
“But your friendship.” I rub a hand over my face. Am I really trying to talk him out of this? “It’ll make things weird and…I don’t know…really fucking awkward.”
“Reese and I discussed this like grown responsible men.”
Reese laughs.
Decker pulls tighter on his hair, silencing him. “He’s here willingly.”
“Sorry, Laynee.” Reese adjusts his fingers on Decker’s waist. “I’ve been trying to get into your boyfriend’s pants for six months.”
I slap a hand over the grin controlling my lips.
“He’s full of shit.” Decker slowly releases a breath. “Here’s how this is going to go. You will remove the towel. Reese is going to keep his eyes on me at all times. After you spread your legs, you’re going to play with your tight little pussy. Neither of you will come until I give you permission.”
Wet heat rushes between my legs, and I moan.
“You’re already soaked, aren’t you?”
I glance at the back of Reese’s head and nod.
“Show me.” Decker’s growly demand drowns my senses in desire.
Shucking the towel to the floor, I widen my legs and place my feet on the edge of the mattress. He’s seen every bare inch of me countless times, but this feels different, more vulnerable. Maybe because I’m so spread out and he’s staring, like really staring. Hard.
“Christ, I never tire of looking at you.” His nostrils flare with a deep breath. “One more thing, baby. Reese is here to fulfill your fantasy and no doubt one of his own.”
Reese makes a groaning noise in his throat.
“He’s not here to be a buffer between us,” Decker says firmly. “I know that’s how you two used to operate.”
“I don’t need a buffer with you. I don’t want one. Ever.”
His shoulders loosen. “If I could break the one-year agreement, I would. I don’t want to be paid to be with you, Laynee.” He scratches his whiskered cheek, studying my face. “I called Karen at Infidelity and told her I won’t be renewing my employment with them at the end of the year. I intend to buy out the agreement.”
My pulse quickens. Renewing the agreement would’ve given him another year’s salary. Buying it out means he intends to stay with me without Infidelity or the income.
I’ll buy out the contract, but we can argue about that later.
“I’m doing this,” he says, glancing down at Reese and returning to me, “to prove I will do anything for you. Not for money. Not for career opportunities. Not for sexual gratification. I’m doing this simply because it makes you happy.”
The golden-brown of his irises holds me for an exposed, vulnerable instant as the depth of his love swallows the space between us. He’s offering such an inconceivably selfless gift, and I’m overcome with gratitude, solidarity, and bone-deep peace.
“You don’t have to do this.” I hold his gaze. “If you’re not sure…”
“I’m sure of you. Us.”
A ray of warmth bursts through my chest.
Decker releases Reese’s hair and pats his cheek. “Go ahead.”
Oh my God. This is really happening.
Reese slides his hands to the front of Decker’s jeans. The button pulls through. The zipper sounds its seductive c
rawl downward. My fingers move of their own volition, tracing the wet flesh around my opening.
Six months ago, Reese tried to suck Decker’s cock. It ended with him in a chokehold and me trying to break the Infidelity agreement. We’ve come so far, and we’ll continue to progress with or without this grand gesture. Which is why my stomach cramps with fear. Should I let this continue? Will he begrudge me after? Will he forgive me if I put the brakes on something he’s trying to gift me?
Reese shifts Decker’s jeans down his hips, revealing a huge soft cock.
He isn’t aroused. He doesn’t want this.
“Decker, this is wrong.” I close my legs and wrap my arms around my torso. “I feel really selfish. I can’t let you—”
“Shut the fuck up and put your fingers in your pussy.” He lowers into the chair. “Spread yourself open so I can see you.”
I follow his order, fingers tentative as I touch myself. I start to slip into my flustered mind, but the heat in his eyes holds me in the room, in the moment, with him. Those eyes wander down my chest, making my breasts feel fuller, heavier. His gaze roams lower, tracing the spread of my legs and following the movement of my hand as I sink my fingers deeper inside my pussy.
“You’re a vision, Laynee. A fucking dream. Don’t stop touching yourself.” He rakes a hand through Reese’s hair and yanks on the strands. “Reese, pull out your cock.”
Reese drags in a shaky breath and fumbles with his belt, then his zipper. His jeans inch down his backside, exposing the upper curves of his ass. I can’t see the front of him, but the flex of his bicep and the movement of his arm tells me he’s stroking himself. My God, it’s so fucking hot.
I’ve done things like this with Reese, but we’ve never had anyone commanding us, divvying out the pleasure, and controlling the outcome. I don’t know why it’s so arousing to be dominated by Decker, but it makes all the difference in the world.
Reese continues to stroke himself, working his body into a breathy, muscle-strained mass of tension. “Decker?”
Beyond Reese’s shoulders, Decker’s length twitches, swells, and lengthens. There’s nothing more erotic than watching Decker get hard.
His eyes don’t stray from mine as he curls his fingers around the armrests. “Suck my cock, Reese.”
Air whooshes from my lungs, and I rub myself harder, more frantically. I’m already climbing toward climax, but I don’t slow down. I can’t.
Inching to the side, Reese deliberately gives me a direct view of his free hand wrapping around Decker’s erection. The instant Reese grips him, Decker chokes on a breath, and every muscle in his body goes stiff.
I spread my thighs wider, sliding my fingers in and out without breaking eye contact with Decker. But when he sucks in a harsh inhale, I can’t stop myself from watching his cock sink into Reese’s mouth.
Oh.
My.
Fuck.
Decker grunts and shifts his legs, planting his bare feet firmly to the floor.
My focus flits to the white-knuckled grip of Decker’s hands on the chair. The corded sinews in his neck. The rapid rise and fall of his sculpted chest. The glorious play of muscles flexing in his torso. The blown pupils eclipsing the brown of his eyes.
When his chest goes still, I’m not sure he’s breathing. But he’s watching. Watching my fingers with resolute focus.
The brawn of Reese’s back trembles beneath a sheen of perspiration as he bobs his head and slides his hand over his own cock. My breaths wheeze with growing urgency, threading through the sounds of masculine grunts. Decker looks so tense and stunned I don’t know if he’s going to explode with pleasure or rage.
He seems to lose some kind of fight with his lungs, because he releases a heavy loud exhale, and the fire in his eyes intensifies. “You need to come, Laynee. Come now.”
I circle a finger around my clit, and a release of tingling electricity detonates in my core, shooting outward like fireworks, crackling, sparking, zapping every nerve ending in my body. My head drops back, and I continue to rub, moaning and jerking beneath my fingers.
Reese moans with me, his voice garbled and pained. I return my attention to them just as Decker grips Reese’s hair and pulls, freeing his cock from Reese’s mouth.
“Come,” he mutters, holding my gaze.
Reese’s arm jerks, once, two more times, and he groans long and hard, dropping his forehead to Decker’s thigh, his entire body shaking with the force of his release. Decker strokes Reese’s hair through the orgasm and continues to do so while Reese catches his breath, all the while staring directly into my eyes.
“Fuck.” Reese chuckles and grabs his t-shirt, using it to clean himself.
As he fastens his jeans, Decker cups a hand against Reese’s jaw, and they share a moment of eye contact. I can’t see Reese’s face, but Decker’s gaze softens, as if to silently say, Thank you. Then Decker smirks and gives him a pat on his head.
An unexpected tremble of relief sifts through me.
Climbing to his feet, Reese leans over to whisper something in Decker’s ear. The skin around Decker’s eyes creases, and he gives a stiff nod.
“See you tomorrow, Laynee.” Reese strolls to the door, keeping his gaze averted from my nude body.
“Okay.” I wait until the door closes behind him before pointing out the obvious. “You didn’t come.”
“I only come in you.”
My chest tightens. In a really good way. “What did he say to you?”
A smile twitches his lips, and he rubs it away. “He told me not to fuck this up.”
“There’s no way you could—”
“I love you.” He stands and removes his jeans and briefs. “I’ve loved you for months.” He stalks toward me, eyes full of conviction and promise.
My heart swells with aching joy, and my eyes prick with tears. I scoot backward, inching toward the headboard, lost in his gaze.
“I love you in this moment.” He crawls onto the mattress, chasing me with calculated slowness. “I’ll love you in every moment that follows, every month, every year, for a million light years.”
“That’s a long time.”
“It won’t be long enough.” He grips my ankle and yanks me beneath him, staring at me for a span of several heartbeats. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”
My face crumples as I fight back tears. “Stop making me cry and fuck me.”
He bares his teeth in a predatory smile and slams his mouth against mine. Tongues collide, fingers entwine, and soul meets soul. He’s a feeling I’ve never felt. An emotion without limits. An agreement that doesn’t expire. He’s the only place I want to be.
I breathe in his scent—the earthy, elemental aroma of home and him. He rests his palm on my cheek and kisses me until I’m breathless, mindless, and insane with need.
He’s so hot and hard between my legs, and I’m soaked from the inside out. So when he finally presses against me, my body sucks him in, and we both groan.
“I love you,” I breathe against his lips.
“I know.” He thrusts and doesn’t waste time setting a pace that crashes the headboard against the wall.
I scream his name as he plows me into the mattress. I whisper his name between toe-curling kisses. His name rides on my breaths as I surrender to him, arch beneath him, and follow him into a grunting, panting, body-trembling orgasm.
Sated and listless, we lie in a tangle of sweaty limbs and thumping heartbeats. We’re so intertwined I don’t know where I end and he begins. It makes me smile a smile I feel everywhere, and I press that smile against the warm skin of his neck, sharing it with him.
“You let Reese suck your cock.” My smile widens.
“I’ve found I have no limits with you.”
I lean up, sobering as I meet his eyes. “I won’t abuse that.”
“I know.” His thumb traces the curve of my mouth.
“I mean it, Decker. It was selfish of me to demand that of you when I met you. I will never do that again.�
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His lashes sink half-mast. “Come here.” He guides my face back to his neck.
I curl up against his chest and wrap my legs around his. “I want to do something for you. Anything. What do you need?”
“Eat. Sleep. Love my girl. Repeat.” He strokes a hand through my hair. “That’s all I need.”
CHAPTER 25
LAYNEE
Six months later
Sometimes it’s easy to forget how I became Decker Gabrielli’s girlfriend.
A profile with expectations and limits.
A binding legal agreement.
An exclusive company called Infidelity.
It all began one year ago today, which is why I’m on the phone with Karen Flores, sitting in the car with my driver instead of heading inside where I want to be. With my boyfriend.
“I was right.” Barely restrained smugness teases through Karen’s voice.
“I bet you love saying that.”
“I say it a lot, but you didn’t believe me.”
“What do you want?” I sigh into the phone. “An apology?”
“If my memory’s correct, you called me a bitch.”
I cringe. Yeah, I might’ve used that word the night I tried to break the agreement.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve never gone off on you like that. You were right, and I was wrong. Really, really wrong.” My tone is sincere, because I feel like a huge asshole. “He’s everything, Karen. You couldn’t have chosen a better man for me. I couldn’t have chosen a better man. So I’m asking you to accept my apology and allow me to buy out the agreement. Pretty please with dollar signs on top.”
“Consider it done. I’ll forward the final paperwork to Reese Cromwell.”
“Thank you.” A feeling of weightlessness settles through me. “Thank you for everything. You changed my life.”
“Glad to hear it, Miss Somerset. You’re welcome.”
I end the call and toss my phone in my bag. “I’m ready.”
Rachel shifts in the driver seat and peers back at me. “Sure you don’t want to go through the back door?”