by Lisa N. Paul
It had been five years since cancer took Lyla’s mom. While she remembered bits and pieces of the woman who had kissed her booboos and sang her silly songs, it was her grandparents who kept her mother’s memory alive and loved her endlessly. They had been a daily fixture in her life from the day she was born, and they’d made the death of her mom bearable. But some days, like her birthday, the loss felt fresh.
“Lyla bear, your mommy loved you so much. You were the shining star in her life,” Poppy said, wrapping his arms around her awkward preteen frame. “I know that for a fact because Grammy and I felt the same way about her as we do about you.”
“All right, enough mushy stuff before school, Lance. Lyla knows we love her to the moon and back.” Grammy’s brown eyes were kind as she spoke. “She also knows that the sooner she gets to school, the sooner the day will be over and she and her friends will be back here, celebrating with pizza, French fries, and ice cream. So get going, honey. You don’t want to miss the bus.”
“Are you sure I have to go to school today? If you really want me to have a great birthday, you would let me stay home with you guys. We could veg in front of the TV and chill ‘til my friends get home.”
“No, you little stinker.” Grammy handed Lyla her backpack and swatted her arm. “Poppy and I have errands to run for a special someone’s birthday gift. Trust us, you’re going to love your present. Now get. We’ll see you later. Love you, Lyla bear.”
“Gah, you’re so mean,” Lyla teased before dropping kisses on their cheeks and hurrying out the door.
THE DOOR TO the math class opened, and Lyla glanced up from her exam to see the principal whispering to her teacher. Both adults then looked at Lyla with grim lips and pain-filled eyes.
No. There was no way those broken expressions could be for her.
“Lyla, could you please come with me?” the principal requested.
“No.” If she didn’t go, whatever they were about to tell her wouldn’t happen. Not today. Not ever.
“Lyla, honey…” The principal walked toward her desk, extending her hand. “I need you to come with me now. Please.”
The world fell silent as Lyla stood on wooden legs and followed the principal from the classroom, down the hall, and into her large office.
“I’m so sorry, Lyla, but your grandparents were in an accident this morning.” Tears filled the woman’s eyes, spilling over the rims and down her cheeks, while Lyla sat in silence.
Her brain was as numb as her body. Solemn silence filled the space as Lyla read between the lines. Her grandparents were dead. Her entire family gone.
Knifing up in bed, Lyla’s heart pounded as sweat trickled down her spine. The same nightmare for the past two nights. “Hardly the worst of the bunch.”
She rubbed her eyes and walked to the bathroom to get a cup of water and change her sweat-drenched T-shirt. This coming birthday would be eighteen years since she’d kissed her grandparents good-bye and headed off to school with nothing but cake and gifts on her mind. She never did find out what the present her grandparents were so sure she’d love was. Trust us. Maybe that was why the dream had come out of hibernation. Lyla didn’t do a whole lot of trusting. Life had taught her better. What Gage was asking of her was impossible, wasn’t it?
Shaking off the dream fog, Lyla pulled on a clean pair of yoga pants and settled in to do some writing. She had a few hours until she met the girls at Starbucks, or as they referred to it, group therapy.
“SO… WHAT HAPPENED with you and the sexy silent one the other night?” Ashley asked the minute Lyla joined them at the table. Janie had gotten the scoop first thing Friday morning, but Ashley, Cate, and Elliot waited for the details.
“What do you mean?” Lyla hedged, pouring sugar into her already sweetened coffee drink.
Elliot flicked a wooden stirrer at Lyla. “Don’t be a brat.”
“Fine, fine. Honestly, nothing happened. He dropped me off and left.” The whole thing still rankled.
“Bullshit,” Cate muttered.
“Not bullshit. He refuses to play by my rules, so we didn’t play at all. End of story.”
Cate cocked her head to the side. “Kyle didn’t want to play by my rules at first either, so I had to bend them. You can’t find happiness if you aren’t willing to be flexible.”
Lyla wiggled her brows. “Oh, I’m flexible all right.” The girls laughed, as Lyla had intended. “Let’s change the subject, okay?”
By the looks on her friends’ faces, her suggestion wasn’t popular, but they did respect her wishes.
Chapter Thirteen
A Minute of Your Time
“WELCOME TO SUNDAY dinner, Gage. We’re happy to finally have you.” Danny’s words were inviting. His handshake, however, held a bit of an unspoken warning. “You’re always welcome in our home, boy”—he leaned in close, his voice a gruff whisper—“unless you fuck with our girl. Then there won’t be a welcome mat anywhere in Charistown for you.”
Okay, that warning was loud and clear. If any other man had uttered those words, Sebastian would have told him exactly where to stick the threat—he may have even helped shove it up there—but Danny Marcus was one of the finest men Sebastian knew. He didn’t just treat his business partners and staff like family; they were his family, regardless of the fact that they didn’t share blood. Danny looked after Lyla as if she was his daughter, and that earned him Sebastian’s unwavering respect.
“Message received.”
“Didn’t think otherwise, but had to speak my mind. Come on in and grab a beer,” Danny said before excusing himself to help Julie in the kitchen.
Several times over the past months, he had been invited to the weekly dinners, but since the invitations never came from Lyla, he’d always declined. In the past, he hadn’t wanted to impose on her privacy, her family time. However, he hadn’t seen or heard from her since dropping her off at her house on Thursday night. It was time to penetrate her space.
Delicious scents and loud banter wafted through the ranch-style house. He was looking forward to a home-cooked meal while he hung out with great company, which Max had gone on about for ages. Sebastian had always dismissed Max’s love of Sunday nights, but within seconds of really entering the fold, he got it. Sure, he had his grandmother and he loved the woman like crazy, but over the years, without realizing it, he had blocked off his life to the point of emptiness. Standing unnoticed in the corner, he realized just how lonely he’d become.
Then he felt her presence. The magnetic connection between them was strong. It yanked his attention to the woman sitting on the carpet, her arms wrapped around legs that were pulled up to her chest. A wide smile stretched across lush lips, announcing happiness he could see didn’t light her eyes, and comprehension slammed into him. Being alone had been tolerable; being alone was uncomplicated. It was Lyla, or more specifically not having Lyla, that made him lonely.
Something about her changed what he wanted for himself. His goal shifted from self-preservation to seeing Lyla’s eyes glitter with true happiness. Had they ever done that? He didn’t know. But─
“Gage! You gonna stand there all night creeping or you gonna get your ass over here and join us?” Ashley slapped a kiss on Ryan’s lips before jumping up from his lap and sashaying over to the wet bar. “Anyone besides Gage need a drink?”
Six hands shot up, making Sebastian chuckle. “I’ll help you out, Ash. An outsider would look at this group and think we’re a bunch of alcoholics.”
She shrugged. “If they only saw us on Thursdays and Sundays maybe. But otherwise”—she looked over the group—“we’ve gotten a little tame in our older years.” The statement had barely made it through her lips before she howled with laughter.
“Ash, can you whip me up a vodka drink while you’re over there?” Lyla asked.
“What the hell do I look like?” Ashley shot back.
“Umm, a fucking bartender.”
Roars of laughter filled the room as Ashley blew Lyla a kiss a
nd flipped her the middle finger at the same time.
***
“WHERE ARE ELLIOT and Ando?” Lyla asked no one in particular.
“Ando had a family emergency,” Julie answered, placing a dish of appetizers on the coffee table.
“Oh, uhh, Elliot had a thing to do in the city tonight.” The long sip Cate took from her beer would have told most people she didn’t want to elaborate further.
Lyla, however, was not most people. “Does that thing in the city have a penis?” Cate blushed, and Lyla continued. “Go, Elliot! Although I kinda thought she and your brother made some sexy eye candy. Guess I misread that.” Lyla’s gaze shifted back and forth between Kyle and Cate, a smirk blooming on both of their faces. “Shut the fuck up, he’s what she’s doing in the city?”
Kyle groaned. “Let’s not go there. You know I’ll talk about fucking as much as the next guy—fine, more than the next guy—but I walked in on them last week and that’s a vision I will never get out of my head.”
There. She’d stirred up some great conversation. Lately, that was all she needed to do before she could spend the rest of the night in her own head. Lord knew it was filled with shit to deal with. Her father’s hearing was a week away. She’d contemplated visiting him in jail, but with each passing day, her excuse list got longer. She didn’t want to think about the man, let alone see him.
She scanned the room. How the hell could she slip into autopilot with Gage in the room? The answer was simple. She couldn’t. Being near that man made her reckless, stupid, worst of all, girly. She couldn’t stop throwing herself at the guy, and that was not her style. Especially when he kept turning her down. Well, not turning her down, per se, but refusing to give her control. Couldn’t he understand that she needed to protect herself?
She hadn’t always needed the men cuffed down. No, even after everything that happened to her when she was young, she still managed to have normal sex. But after being nearly murdered by a crazy fan several years back, then getting beaten by that freak in the alley behind the bar, she had had enough.
Too much of her soul had been damaged, shredded, burned. If there was to be a warm body in her bed, it needed to be beneath her and controlled. Otherwise, she would be just fine on her own. Except… Gage.
She hadn’t realized her sigh was audible until Danny’s hand rested on her shoulder. “You okay, Lyla-girl?”
“Of course.” Danny’s side-eye made Lyla roll hers. “I’ve got some work stuff coming up over the next couple of weeks, that’s all.”
“Girl, work doesn’t put that look on your face. Talk to me.”
Why couldn’t he have been my dad? If she had a dollar for every time that particular thought crossed her mind. Even so, no one, aside from Janie, knew about her biological father. Therefore, no one, aside from Janie, knew about his pending potential release. The last thing Lyla wanted to do at Sunday dinner, or at any time, was discuss it.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Please let it go for now. I promise I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”
With a look that assured her he didn’t believe her, Danny lovingly squeezed her shoulder. “Gonna hold you to it, Lyla-girl. No more of that quick escape shit, you hear me?”
“I would’ve said good-bye, Danny. You know that, right?”
Squatting next to her, Danny said, “I know that you care about us, and in the end, you’ll do what you think is right. Just remember, honey, the only way to get through hard times is to reach out and grab on to the good ones. I’ll be here when you need me.” He kissed the top of her head and slowly stood, knees cracking. “Fuck,” he announced to the room, “you know you’re old as shit when standing up takes work.”
***
SITTING AROUND DANNY and Julie’s dining table was entertaining as well as enlightening. Like a well-oiled machine, each person sat next to their significant other. However, the arrangement was based on whether one was left-handed or right. Sebastian hung back, rubbing his hand over his scruffy face and trying his best to hold in his laugh.
“What’s so funny, Gage?” Julie’s sweet voice didn’t for one second hide the sass in her eyes.
“You guys are like some sort of adult Brady Bunch.” He chuckled. “Seriously, sitting in assigned seats based on which hand you eat with and who you’re sleeping with? Kyle threw a roll at Ryan when the women weren’t watching, and you and Danny are down at the end there, making goo-goo eyes with each other as if you’re counting the minutes until everyone leaves. This shit is funny as hell.”
The dining room fell quiet as all eyes landed on him. For the first time in his adult life, Sebastian felt as if maybe he had spoken out of turn. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Lyla beat him to the punch.
Her eyes were focused on him as she said, “Aww, man, why are you always stealing the attention, Greg? It’s rude.”
Janie then joined in, “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. So now it’s about you?”
“Mom always said, don’t play ball in the house.” Kyle snorted after throwing out his Brady Bunch reference.
Ryan sang, “It’s time to change,” allowing his voice to hit a pitch that had everyone at the table covering their ears.
“Thally thells thea thells by the thea thore,” Ashley announced. The room once again quieted and all heads turned toward her. “What, you don’t remember that episode? It’s the one where Cindy can’t pronounce her Ss.”
“Hmm, that’s a little below the belt,” Cate said. “Making fun of a girl with a speech impediment.”
“What? Ryan made fun of Peter’s voice changing!” Ashley complained.
Cate winked, and once again, everyone laughed.
“Looks like we have a fine mess here, Mike.” Julie fluttered her lashes at Danny, and he leaned down and kissed her.
Sebastian had no idea what had just happened. Of course he understood all of the Brady Bunch references—he’d watched that show religiously as a kid—but the way Lyla had stepped in and controlled the situation… damn. Grabbing himself a plate of food, he parked his ass next to her. Both were left-handed eaters, so they ate without any food casualties. The dinner was fantastic.
After the men cleaned the dishes—a tradition he learned was started by Lyla—Sebastian and the other men settled down by the lit fireplace and watched football while the women got dessert together and chatted in the dining room.
While he was physically with the guys, his attention never fully left Lyla. All evening he watched as she participated in conversations, helped with serving, and showed true interest in everyone’s lives, but still a sense of sadness loomed over her. There was darkness buried deep inside her. Did no one else see it? How could they claim to be so close and not see what he did? If they wouldn’t help her, he would.
Mind set, Sebastian stood from the couch. His destination, Lyla.
“Gage.” Danny’s baritone voice stopped Sebastian midstep. “A minute of your time, please.”
Sebastian looked toward the dining room and saw the women clustered around the table, talking in hushed tones and giggling like schoolgirls. Yeah, he could spare a minute. He’d love to find out why Danny, of all people, was ignoring the one person who needed more support than anyone.
Danny escorted Sebastian into his home office and closed the door. The man was ex-military and, even in his late forties, could kick some ass. Not his, Sebastian thought, but other men, sure.
“Have a seat,” Danny offered.
“I’m good.”
It looked as if Danny was going to insist but changed his mind. “Been watching you a long time, Gage. You’ve been a good friend to Max, a good friend to the bar—”
“Look, Danny—”
“No, you look, Gage. I offered you a seat, you refused. That doesn’t give you the right to interrupt me when I’m speaking to you, boy.” The military man was out in full force.
Sebastian stared at the older man his father and grandfather would have respected, he had no doubt. A man his best friend looke
d up to and Lyla adored. With that knowledge, Sebastian pulled out the proffered chair and sat down.
Danny followed his lead. “You’re a good man. A smart one. Nearly two years I’ve watched you watching her. Keeping your distance. I’m sure you had your reasons, not gonna ask what they were, not my business. My business is her.” Danny’s eyes roamed to the closed door. “You think I don’t see what’s going on with her? You think every one of us is blind? We aren’t. We see as much as she’ll let us. It’s like wearing goggles in a sauna, man. Shit is foggy, but it’s there.” Danny inhaled, ran his hand through his hair, and exhaled. “You can’t push her, pal. You just can’t. Because if she runs, she’ll run far, and I’d rather have her close where we can protect her than have her disappear on her own.”
“Are you finished?” Sebastian asked respectfully.
Danny nodded before sitting back in his chair.
“I hear you, Danny. I hear you, and I respect the hell out of you. Thing is, my goggles don’t steam up. They’re crystal fucking clear. I don’t have the whole picture yet, but understand me, I. Will. Get. It. I understand your fear of pushing her, the fear of losing her, but the difference between any of you guys and me is if she runs, I’ll follow. I will protect her.”
With a sharp nod, Danny stuck out his hand, and Sebastian grabbed it. The shake felt like something monumental, an approval of sorts, and he liked the way it felt.
Chapter Fourteen
You Just Play One on T.V.
STARING AT THE computer screen, Lyla screamed another round of obscenities before opening the top drawer in her desk, yanking out the darts, and tossing them one by one at the dart board that hung on the wall by the door. Writer’s block sucked.
When Bon Jovi’s “Have A Nice Day” started playing from her cell phone, her work frustration instantly faded. Her pulse, on the other hand, synced with her favorite rock band.