by Lisa N. Paul
Warmth. Sebastian fluttered through her mind. The way he looked at her, laughed with her. The way his hand had felt on her shoulder at Kyle’s before she pushed him away. And now that he knew… what did it matter. She was too damaged for him, for anyone.
Her eyes lingered on the picture of her thirteen-year-old self, taken by the police on the night she was brought into the hospital. Barely recognizable. Ruined. Lyla turned her head and allowed tears to fall. They loved when she cried. They encouraged it. Tears were for pussies, but goddammit, she couldn’t hold in her sorrow anymore. For the second time in as many weeks, Lyla let go of her control and wept.
***
PULLING UP TO Lyla’s house, Sebastian had already decided that he would, if it came down to it, break her window to get in. There was no way in hell he would let her be alone for one more minute. When his knock went unanswered, he tried the doorknob, and to both his horror and delight, the door opened. The fact that she hadn’t bothered locking her door proved how out of her head she was.
“Lyla?” he called as he entered the house.
The hairs on the back of his neck tingled when he heard a noise coming from an open door by the kitchen. Was that crying?
Descending the steps two at a time, Sebastian reached the basement and froze. There, tucked into herself, was Lyla. As she held her knees and rocked, sobs racking her small frame, Sebastian felt as though he was splintering. But he refused to shatter, not when his woman needed his strength. Inhale deep, exhale slow.
“Ly,” he said quietly, so as not to startle her. When she didn’t respond, he walked to her side and sank down on the floor next to her. “Lyla, I’m here with you, baby.”
Covering her face with her hands, she nodded as she continued to cry. Sebastian shifted his body so he was next to hers, wanting her to feel his company but not feel restricted by his presence. His eyes shifted to the papers strewn on the floor. Random words popped out at him: rape, minor, lacerations, unconscious. Fury like he’d never known snowballed in his gut, turning his vision red and his breathing shallow.
Prison was too good for that bastard. Too kind. As he planned retaliation, the sound of Lyla’s sobs brought his anger to heel. She was his priority. His only concern. She’d lived through all the violence a person should ever see—not just as a child but as a grown woman. He wouldn’t add a moment more to her life.
“What do you need?” he asked, willing to give her the moon.
“I need you to find someone else,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Anything but that, sweetheart. Never that.”
Lyla used the heels of her hands to wipe her eyes then reached for a small stack of photos and shoved them at Sebastian. “Look! Just look.” She jabbed at the picture on top of the stack. “I’m damaged, weak, destroyed. What could you possibly still want from me? What could you possibly see?”
The image in his hands stirred up feelings Sebastian could barely name. Marred, bruised, and bloody, the young girl’s familiar blue eyes seemed to stare at him. And while he struggled to breathe through the pain he saw in that small girl, he knew his answer to Lyla’s question was nothing but the truth. “I see you.”
“Sebastian—”
“No, listen. I’ve always seen you. The hurt in your eyes, the pain in your soul, I’ve seen it. This past”—he pointed at the picture—“the one you’ve kept hidden so deep, I may never have guessed what it was, but I’ve seen you the whole time. And now that I know, now that I see this tragedy, I still look in your eyes and see you. Nothing but you.”
***
HIS WORDS. GOD, they hit deep, piercing her skin and penetrating her soul. Turning her head, she found Sebastian’s gaze focused on her. There in his pale blue pools, nothing but sincerity stared back at her. It was a look she had seen before—each and every time they were together. In the past, her heart had thrived on their connection, her body had begged for his closeness, but she had listened to her brain and gripped onto the walls of her fear, no matter how cracked they became or how badly she wanted Sebastian.
Physically spent and emotionally bared, Lyla finally allowed herself to do the one thing she swore she’d never do again…
She placed her trust and her heart into the hands of someone else.
***
SEBASTIAN’S HEART RATE doubled when Lyla inched closer and rested her head on his arm. The gesture wasn’t lost on him. Instead of running away, she’d pulled closer. While she was no longer sobbing, tears still rolled down her pink cheeks, evidence of pain he would gladly absorb on her behalf.
Instead, he lowered his face to the top of her head and whispered, “I see you, baby. I’ve got you. Not going anywhere, Ly, ever.”
Her petite body burrowed closer, making it evident that she needed more. So he wrapped his arms around her frame and brought her onto his lap, cradling her like the precious treasure he saw her as. When she finally closed her eyes, Sebastian breathed for what felt like the first time in hours. After long minutes of having her wrapped in his arms, she began to tremble.
“You cold?”
“Not really.”
“It’s been a long day, sweetheart. I’m thinking the adrenaline might be wearing off. Let’s get you out of the basement, okay?”
When she nodded, Sebastian stood with her still in his arms and ascended the stairs. He laid her on the plush sofa in the family room.
“Please don’t leave.” Her request nearly fractured his heart.
“I have no intentions of going anywhere. I’m going to light the fireplace though,” he said, pulling a blanket over her still-shivering body. “Tell me where you keep the aspirin. I’ll get you a couple and make you something to eat, and then I won’t leave your side.”
She told him what he needed to know, and he watched as she fell asleep. He studied her chest rising and falling with even breaths. Every side of Lyla Dalton was beautiful, even the vulnerable side, but he planned to spend his life making sure she never again felt scared and alone. Because while her tears ripped him apart, her smile lit up his fucking world.
After making some phone calls and sending out texts to let the gang know that he was with Lyla and she was okay, he climbed on the sofa and pulled her body tightly against his. Maybe she’d meant for him to sleep on the loveseat or on the floor, but—call him a selfish bastard—there was no way he could have that woman so close and not have her sleeping in his arms. No fucking way. He’d deal with the fallout in the morning.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Never Been More Sure
COCOONED IN HEAT, Lyla cracked open her achy eyelids to a wall of masculine beauty gift-wrapped around her. Her cheek rested on a muscled, tattooed chest that smelled of cedar and man and comfort. As she suppressed a gasp, her brain quickly reminded her of the events that took place the day before.
“Oh my God,” she whispered, embarrassment flooding her. He knows. He saw everything. They all know! “Shit.”
“Not usually the response I get the morning after, beautiful. You trying to wound my ego?” Sebastian’s hoarse voice was a caress to Lyla’s frayed nerves.
“Umm, I-I’m so sorry, Seb—”
“If you apologize for spending the night with me, I may need to seek therapy,” he teased as he stroked his large hand over her exposed arm.
Lyla lifted herself up on her elbow to look Sebastian in the eye, but she didn’t see a trace of pity. What she saw was a man who appeared happy and content. How could that be after everything that happened? She didn’t want to rehash the night before, but he must have questions “Sebastian, I think we should talk about last night.”
His face turned serious. “Is there more than what you told me?”
“No, you know everything. You saw everything. You’re the only one who has. I find out this week if my father will make parole, but I have no more secrets.” Oh my God, she had no more secrets. No more.
Sebastian nodded, and his hand cupped her cheek. “Good. Then know this—I’m here and I will
listen as often as you need to talk. In the meantime, I’m gonna help you build a window.”
“A window?”
“Yeah, baby, a window. The door to that ugly past is closed. We sealed that shit up last night. Today, we start building a window to the future. And when you’re ready, we’ll build a whole damn house… together. Understand?”
Yeah, she understood. She understood that the secrets that had caused her pain, heartbreak, and shame—things she thought she’d kept guarded and locked away—had always been evident to the man who held her through the night. Clearly her past didn’t scare him away, and judging by the heat in his eyes, he didn’t see her as a broken soul in need of fixing. So yeah, she understood. There was nothing in her life she wanted more than Sebastian Gage.
Her head still resting in her palm, Lyla ran her free hand from his abs up to his chiseled pecs. Beneath his heated skin, she felt his heart pounding a rhythm that matched her own. Blue flames of desire burned in his gaze while a muscle quivered in his jaw.
“Bas—”
Stopping Lyla’s roaming hand, Sebastian groaned. “God, I want you.”
“Then why are you stopping this?”
His chest rose, an audible breath caught in his massive frame. “You need to be sure. When you finally come to me… I need you to be sure.”
God, this man. This giant of a man, whose mere presence scared nearly all who crossed his path. This man whose physical strength was matched only by his unwavering ability to show compassion and love to those who gave it in return. This man who set her body on fire since the day she first laid eyes on him and had since managed not just to make her smile, but unearth the happiness that had been buried since the day her mother died.
“I’ve never been more sure,” she said.
A puff of air escaped him as his eyes raked over her. “Thank fuck.”
***
THE AIR AROUND them felt charged as he saw his desire mirrored in her eyes. She moistened her bottom lip, and his primal instincts took over, compelling him to finally claim her, take her. “Lyla…”
Their kiss wasn’t slow or soft—no, it was ravenous, passionate, demanding. He needed her with an urgency he’d never known. Her lips parted, inviting him in, taunting him, teasing him as their tongues tangled and their hands roamed. Her fingers splayed over his chest, playing with his nipples before sliding down his torso to the waistband of his jeans. Goddamn, her touch was amazing. Distracting.
Her greedy hands needed to be stopped or their encounter would be over before it even began. He ran his large palm down the smooth skin of her arm, where goose bumps lifted at his touch. Just as his fingers wrapped around her wrist, warning lights flashed through his mind. No way would he restrain her hands.
“It’s okay,” Lyla whispered as if reading his thoughts.
“No, sweetheart, you lead, and I’ll follow.”
Lyla cupped his chin. “I’m safe with you, Sebastian.” With that, she lifted her arms above her head and grabbed the arm of the sofa. “I’m safe with you.”
Her words took his breath away. The trust in her eyes was the greatest gift he’d ever received.
“Always, Lyla.”
Their eyes met, mutual need screaming in them, before their mouths crashed together in a violent kiss. One hand twisted in her silken hair while the other reached for the hem of her shirt. Fuck, her skin was warm and soft. He wanted to touch it, taste it, get lost in it.
He peeled off her top and stared. “Beautiful.”
Shivers rocked Lyla’s body as Sebastian savored her skin, inch by delectable inch. “More,” she pleaded, lifting her hips beneath him and driving him out of his mind.
“I’ll give you—”
Ding dong
The doorbell startled them both.
“Ignore it,” Lyla demanded.
Ding dong
“I have the key,” Janie screamed from the outside.
“Shit. Remind me to take that thing away from her.” Lyla huffed as she yanked on her shirt and stared longingly into Sebastian’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He stood and extended his hand to help Lyla up. “They’re probably worried about you.”
While his body hated the people on the other side of the door, part of him was grateful for the interruption. The night before had been an emotional one, and the last thing he wanted was this thing between them to end up as her regret. His cock pressed against the zipper in his jeans as he watched Lyla walk to the door. Yeah, his body was totally pissed at the interruption.
Janie poured inside and wrapped her arms around Lyla. “Oh… we didn’t realize Gage was still here.”
“His truck in my driveway didn’t give it away?” Lyla retorted as she embraced her friend.
“Be nice, Ly,” Sebastian teased. “It looks like they brought you food. Come on in, everyone.”
Lyla pivoted. “Since you’re here, let’s eat.”
Max, Danny, and Julie filed in through the front door, each wearing a cautious smile.
Sebastian didn’t miss the way Danny’s gaze fixed on Sebastian’s arm wrapped protectively around Lyla’s waist.
Danny nodded. “Good to see you, son.”
“You too.”
Sebastian closed and locked the door before following Janie, Max, Danny, and Julie into the kitchen, where Lyla was starting a pot of coffee.
***
“JANIE, IT’S MONDAY. Shouldn’t you be in school?” Lyla asked.
Nervousness painted Janie’s face. “I have a substitute covering me. I needed to see you. Make sure you were okay. Max wouldn’t let me come last night.”
Lyla saw a look pass between the three men but decided not to pursue it when she had so much on her mind. She turned her attention to Danny and Julie, “Look, I’m sorry. I probably should have clued you in on my father before I ever got involved with the bar. It wasn’t fair to drag you into my issues. I understand if you’re disappointed in me.” The thought of disappointing the two people who had been like parents to her over the past few years was painful.
“Stop,” Julie said, taking Lyla’s hand. “Honey, you could never be a disappointment to us. Danny and I were up all night, trying to figure out how we missed the signs, what we could have done to help more…”
“How I could have chewed you out like I did each of the boys when they needed it,” Danny interjected.
Julie rolled her eyes. “But we realized you aren’t like the boys, honey. You’re you. And we figured out that until you were ready to talk, we couldn’t have helped you. You came when you were ready and we are here for you no matter what. Understand? We will always love and support you, honey.” Lyla’s throat ached as she held back the goddamn tears that seemed constantly at the surface these days. “I know how you both feel about me. I’ve always known it. Please don’t doubt that. If it wasn’t for you…” She swallowed. “I don’t know where I’d be. It’s just that when you spend a lifetime hiding, it isn’t easy to stop and it sure as hell isn’t easy to trust. No matter how amazing the people around you are.”
Lyla turned her attention to Janie. “And you have been my best friend. You were my first real friend, and I love you. I loved you so much that I couldn’t tell you the truth about what happened. I lied to myself for years, saying it was because you couldn’t handle the truth, but if I’m being honest, I couldn’t handle you knowing. The thought that our relationship would change, that you would look at me the way the people in the hospital did, the way the therapists did… Janie, I couldn’t bear it.”
Tears filled Janie’s eyes before her arms wrapped around Lyla’s neck. “I understand why you kept it from me. And I’m embarrassed to admit you were right in doing so. When we were teenagers, I probably wouldn’t have known how to handle that kind of awful. Back then, I didn’t have that kind of strength. Ironically enough, you gave me that strength. You helped me, so I can now support you. I’m sorry, Ly. I’m so sorry.”
“Is this a bad time to ask if we can eat?” Max
said. “Because my wife threatened to cut off my hand if I touched any of the food before we got here, and I’m starving.”
With the tension broken, Lyla and Janie laughed while Sebastian reached into the cabinets for coffee mugs and plates.
“Seem pretty familiar in this kitchen, son.” Danny’s arched brow had everyone silent, waiting for Sebastian’s response.
“Yep.”
The small group chuckled as they helped themselves to food then made their way into the family room to eat comfortably on the couch.
Danny rested his hand on Lyla’s shoulder, grabbing her attention, before she left the kitchen. “I’m gonna hug you, Lyla-girl—”
“Danny, you don’t have to ask—”
“Shhh, listen to me.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his broad frame. “Heard everything you said last night. Shit, been listening to everything you’ve said since the day I met you. But last night, you claimed you had nothing left. You said you were broken beyond repair. Honey, your broken is better than most people whole. You understand what I’m sayin’? There’s no part of you that isn’t worth friendship, love, and protection. I’m sorry you lost your first family at twelve, Lyla-girl, but this family you helped build is yours whether you want us or not. Suck it up, buttercup, ‘cause we love the fuck out of you.”
Only Danny could make a speech that included “suck it up, buttercup” and sound manly and paternal.
“Thank you,” she said. “I love you too. But I’m still giving up my part of the bar. Please don’t fight me on it.”
Releasing her, Danny looked her in the eyes. “Not on board with this plan, honey. But I’ll go with it for now.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Been Waiting Forever