Trying To Live With The Dead

by B. L. Brunnemer

  “That and she’ll slap them. Once I saw her slap her brother across the face during lunch.” I’m pretty sure my eyebrows disappeared into my hairline. I reassessed. Jessica wasn’t a drama queen; she was a fucking bully who used drama as an excuse. Then why didn’t she hit the other girls? I knew the answer before I finished asking myself the question. Because they could hit her back. That fucking bitch. My temper surged. She hit guys because they couldn’t hit her back without getting in deep shit. I looked over at the girl next to me and smiled. I held out my hand to her.

  “I’m Alexis.” The girl's eyes lit up as she shook my hand.

  “I’m Laura.” Her hand shook a little in mine. She seemed very nervous, even timid. Jessica going after her was ridiculous. I tore a piece of paper off the corner of my page. I wrote my number down and handed it to her.

  “She comes after you again call me and I’ll take care of it.” I didn’t even have to think about it. It was clear to me this girl was too shy and timid to stand up for herself. “Or you know if you’re bored or something.” Laura face lit up; when she smiled, she was even prettier.

  “Okay.” Soon algebra was over, I said goodbye to Laura and headed toward Chemistry. That’s when it hit me. Did I just make another friend? I was going over the conversation in my head as I moved through the halls. I decided that I had. I was smiling as I walked into chemistry. The boys had already beaten me to the table. They were leaning overlooking at Isaac’s cell phone. My smile disappeared. As I stepped up to the counter, I heard my own voice coming from the phone.

  “I see you’ve heard.” I announced mildly annoyed. Isaac was beaming, Ethan laughing. Miles was his usual quiet self.

  “Heard, seen, and watched about a dozen times.” Isaac answered joyfully. “That was the best thing I’ve seen in years.”

  “You did handle her rather brilliantly.” Miles chimed in. I sat on my stool and dropped my bag. Then I curiosity had me asking.

  “What do you mean?” Miles adjusted his glasses before answering.

  “Jessica relies on fear to get her what she wants. You telling her she doesn’t scare you took away any power she felt she had.” I thought about it for a minute. Was he right? Is that what happened? Looking back at the whole scene with that in mind, I realized he was right.

  “That wasn’t my plan.” I explained. “I was just telling her the truth.” A smile made its way across his face, turning his cute face handsome. His emerald eyes sparkling. He really should smile more.

  “And that’s why it was epic.” I shook my head not knowing what to say as I heard Isaac playing the video again.

  “Oh this is my favorite part!”

  The teacher clapped his hands getting everyone’s attention, and then class started. Miles ended up taking Ethan and Isaac's cell phones so they would stop watching the video.

  After class, Miles handed them back as long as they promised not to use them in class. Both boys grumbled an agreement. We were talking about Ethan's band practice that night when we reached the courtyard in front of the cafeteria. It was jam-packed with other students.

  “What the hell?” Ethan asked looking at the crowd.

  “Is our table even open?” Isaac asked shading his eyes. He pointed. “Yep, there’s Zeke and Asher. They’ve managed to hold the table.” It wasn’t hard to see Zeke and Asher; they towered over everyone else in the crowd. We headed into the crowd; we ended up going single file. Isaac in front, me in the middle and Ethan taking up the back. It took a while, but we broke out of the crowd at the table. Zeke and Asher moved their bags so everyone could sit down. I shared a bench with Miles, Zeke was on the bench to my left Asher shared across from me with Ethan and Isaac had taken a bench for himself.

  “What’s with the crush?” I asked pulling my lunch from my bag.

  “That’s your fault.” Asher said getting his own lunch out. “After you told off Jessica this morning, everyone’s here hoping to see more.” I rolled my eyes and opened my lunch bag.

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “We know, but they don’t.” Isaac pointed out before biting into his sandwich. We did our best to ignore the crush around us. But every once in awhile someone would be trying to pass someone else and one of us would get bumped. I was in the middle of telling them about meeting Laura when someone knocked into Asher again making him spill water down his shirt. I was fed up.

  “Let’s go eat somewhere else guys, this is ridiculous.” I suggested. Everyone agreed and gathered their stuff. Asher stood up straight and looked over the crowd. He pointed in a direction.

  “That’s the fastest way out.” We all started moving, again single file. Somehow, the crowd had gotten worse. I reached out and grabbed a handful of Ethan’s jacket trying not to lose them. Ethan reached back, took my hand, his rings biting into my fingers as he kept pulling me through the crowd. When we finally got free, he let go.

  “Next time we need to put her in the middle.” He announced to the guys. “We almost lost her in the crowd.” Everyone looked at me.

  “It’s not my fault I’m short.” I told them simply, stepping further away from the crush.

  “At least you’ve got the cute thing workin’ for ya.” Isaac offered.

  “Damn right I do.” I said my head held high. The guys were laughing as we started walking down the hall.

  “Where are we going?” Ethan asked as he pulled his sandwich from his bag and started eating it.

  “How about the library?” Miles suggested.

  “We can just walk and eat?” Asher offered.

  “Who wants to walk and eat?” Ethan asked. Four of us raised our hands. “Majority rules, we walk.” I pulled out my water bottle and took a drink.

  “So how did this voting thing start?” I asked looking down the line as we walked shoulder to shoulder down the mostly empty hallway.

  “I think when we were eight.” Isaac answered. “We all kept wanting to do different stuff, and we’d get into fights over It.”

  “When we broke a vase at Asher’s, his mom made voting a rule for us.” Zeke shrugged. “We’ve been doing it ever since.”

  “Aw, I need to see kid photos of you guys. I bet you all were adorable.” I told them, unable to help smiling at them. To my astonishment, every one of them blushed a bit. Oh, this was going to be fun.

  “No, never, not in a million years.” Zeke denied me immediately. I was so going to find those photos.

  “Oh, I so am.” I snickered.

  “Anyway, what’s the plan for homework tonight?” Asher changed the subject, his cheeks still pink.

  “Not my place, Sylvia is still sleeping.” Zeke told us. “Miles?”

  “Still decorating.” Miles answered. “Asher?”

  “Jessica’s having girls over.” Asher supplied. “Ethan?”

  “Not if you actually want to get work done.” Isaac supplied. “Lexie?”

  “Tara is very aware that Asher was over there last night, so she’ll be around.” I warned them. “If you can deal with her?” Everyone groaned.

  “There’s always the county library?” Miles offered.

  “I call library.” Isaac announced. Everyone agreed.

  “Good, because we have Chemistry test tomorrow and I’ve had about a day and a half to study for it.” I complained. “Oh and Algebra, and World Civ.” The guys winced in sympathy.

  “Chemistry isn’t bad, it’s a ten question quiz and they’re the ones from the back of the book.” Miles reassured me.

  “What about English?” Asher asked looking down the line at me.

  “We’re reading Romeo and Juliet.” I grumbled. “I understand it’s a masterpiece of theater and everything. But please knock me out for that class.” The guys chuckled.

  “Wait a minute, I thought all girls liked those tragic love stories?” Isaac asked as we turned down another hall.

  “I guess I’m weird.” I shrugged. “I prefer a good happy ending to a story, there are enough tragic ones in real li
fe.”

  “That makes sense.” Miles offered.

  “What’s the training schedule look like this weekend?” Zeke asked. Isaac emptied his water bottle.

  “I’ve got training tonight at seven tonight, then Sunday. If any of you are joining me.” Isaac offered up.

  “I’ll take Sunday with you.” Zeke volunteered. Isaac nodded.

  “I’ll take tonight.” Ethan chimed in. “We just need to get homework done first.” We turned another corner and were walking by a group of girls; they were giggling and pointing at us. I ignored it, they were probably checking out the guys.

  “I heard she’s already slept with half the football team.” I heard whispered from their group.

  “What a slut.” I doubted anyone else heard it so I ignored it and kept walking, it was clear Jessica was working the gossip mill. But even I thought that was fast. However Asher stopped and turned around. The others stopped a second later.

  “What?” The others asked confused as to why he stopped. Asher looked at me his eyebrow raised. Asking without words if I heard them.

  “I heard.” I told him simply then started walking again. The guys followed.

  “That doesn’t bother you?” Asher asked like he found it hard to believe.

  “What did we miss?” Ethan asked looking down the line at both of us.

  “Those girls back there were calling her, well, names.” Asher informed them his eyes going to Miles.

  “They were saying I’m a slut.” I supplied, dropping my trash into a trash can as we walked by. Zeke cursed under his breath.

  “And that doesn’t bother you?” Asher asked obviously finding it hard to believe.

  “I know I’m not a slut, you guys know I’m not a slut.” I shrugged and tried to explain. “Those girls don’t mean anything to me, so why would I care what they think?”

  “Those kinds of rumors can bring out some perv guys.” Zeke warned.

  “Then they’ll be really disappointed.” I chuckled, my twisted side finding the situation funny. A couple of them chuckled. Zeke was frowning. I rolled my eyes as the sixth period bell rang.

  “I’ll see you guys at the library; I’ll see you in seventh period Asher.” I called over my shoulder. I heard several see you laters.

  Gym was normal, except the line for the stalls were so long that I said fuck it and changed by my locker. With my hair down, no one noticed my bruises. Yay, for thick hair! I made sure to stuff some tissues into my pocket before I left the locker room foreseeing a nosebleed coming. I really needed to find a better way to art class. I met up with Asher and I asked him.

  “Is there another way to art class?” He frowned and shook his head.

  “Not that I’ve found, and believe me I’ve tried.” He informed me. Great. Daily torture. I sighed.

  “Have you tried just telling her no?” I asked as we headed down the path. Asher started rubbing the back of his neck.

  “I don’t want to be rude.” He said, grimacing. I rolled my eyes.

  “It’s not rude to tell her you not interested in doing those activities she wants you to do.” I offered. “If it was me having this problem would you think I was being rude by just telling some guy that I didn’t want to join some club of his?” I stopped talking; it was up to him how he wanted to deal with Tara. I was just along for the ride. We headed down the walkway Asher looking around for Tara and me looking around for ghost girl. That familiar chill went down my neck only this time it was like a finger touch running down my skin. The pain hit me hard and fast, driving the air from my lungs and forcing me to stop. Ghost girl was walking down the path toward me, a strange grin on her face. My hand went to my throbbing chest. I glanced to Asher, he hadn’t noticed because he had spotted Tara.

  My heart raced as he took a deep breath and started forward again. I followed.

  “Please don’t leave me alone with her.” He asked out of the corner of his mouth. My head was pounding as ghost girl was following Tara.

  “You got it.” I answered hiding the pain from my voice. By the time we reached Tara my stomach was rolling. What the fuck? Had ghost girl been feeding off someone? How did she have this much energy today? I concentrated on breathing through the pain.

  “Asher, hi!” Tara greeted cheerfully, her eyes darted to me then back to Asher without saying a word to me. She began pulling pieces of paper out of her binder. “I brought you copies of the plans for homecoming, I would really like your opinion-”

  “Tara, I’m sorry but I’m not going to help with any of this stuff.” Asher told her surprising me, I might have looked at him but I was too busy trying to breathe around the hot burning spike that felt like it was being driven through my chest right over my heart. She stood across from me her memories starting to pour through my head. I saw her death in my mind, my heart grew heavy. I felt the pressure in my face a second before the first drip on my upper lip. Absently, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my tissues. I put them to my nose hoping we could go soon.

  “I’m just really swamped with football and work right now. Not to mention homework.” Asher was explaining to Tara when ghost girl reached out and touched my neck. Pain tore through me like lightning, from neck to toes. I glared at her with everything I had. I mouthed no at her. She was pushed back instantly, the nerve pain easing up. Allowing me to take a more normal breath again. Ghost girl was pale, her skin shining as if she was sweating. She kept backing up. She had nothing left. I blinked hard, becoming more aware of what was going on. Tara was glaring at me before she smiled up at Asher.

  “Alright I understand. You’re too busy to help now.” Tara gave him big eyes and a small smile. Shit, was she going to cry? Oh nope, she was pulling the girl card, looking sweet and hurt. “Maybe you could help with Winter Formal and Prom next semester?” Before he could answer Asher looked over to me, his brow drew down as he frowned.

  “Lexie? Is your nose bleeding again?” He asked his rich voice concerned. My head still pounding I nodded. He ran his eyes over me his face worried. He reached out and took my arm.

  “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He gave me a small nudge to get me moving. “I’ll think about next semester Tara.” He called over his shoulder his gaze still on me as we passed by girl ghost. I felt a surge of blood and cursed as I pinched my nose shut. I walked faster trying to get away so the burning pain in my chest would stop. By the time we turned the corner my tissues were soaked. Seeing this Asher pulled his little pack of tissues out of his bag and handed them to me. I added some to my nose. The further away from the dead girl we got the less my nose bled.

  “Seriously Lexie, what’s with your nose?” He asked still frowning. I tried to figure an excuse that would explain this.

  “It’s kind of a medical thing.” I hedged, checking to see if my nose had stopped bleeding. Thankfully it had. I went to the sink in class with Asher one-step behind.

  “What kind of medical thing?” He asked, grabbing a dry paper towel and handing it to me.

  “It’s nothing serious. It just gives me nosebleeds and makes me sick once in awhile.” Warming up to the lie I was creating, this might just work. Asher frowned at me then backed off the subject as we went to our table. During art class Asher thankfully seemed to forget about my nosebleed as I tried to help him with his drawing of a vase but he always ended up drawing stick men leaping to their deaths. I eventually gave up.

  Chapter 5

  Before heading to the library I stopped at a gas station for a big bottle of water, and a couple of those tissue packs. I needed to stop using Asher’s tissues. I made sure to text Rory telling him where I would be. The county library wasn’t a huge library, but it looked big to me. I noticed on the river stonewalls outside that there was a sign that said ‘no climbing.’ It made me grin. I walked into the big room, noticing that there were comfy armchairs here and there, scattered into corners creating reading nooks. It didn’t really look like a library. If it weren’t for the bookshelves, it would look like
a coffee house. It was big and cozy all at the same time. I spotted the guys at one of the bigger tables and headed over. Isaac sat at one end of the table, Ethan and Miles sat on one side, Zeke on the other. I sat across from Miles next to Zeke and started pulling out my books.

  “Heard you got another nosebleed today.” Zeke announced in his gravelly voice. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Asher said it’s some kind of medical thing.” He looked up at me, his eyes demanding answers.

  “You guys gossip just as much as girls do.” I shot back as I opened my World Civ notes to study. Isaac and Ethan chuckled. Miles adjusted his glasses and ran his eyes over me. Before he could ask me any questions, I changed the subject. “How is it you guys can stay out late on school nights?” They all looked at each other for a second before looking back down at their books.

  “Asher’s Dad is usually out of town on business.” Miles began, his fingers tapping out a staccato rhythm again. “Right now my Mother is on a redecorating spree, so she doesn’t want me in the way.” He shrugged, all but burying his nose in his textbook. That didn’t seem right to me, but before I could even think to ask, Ethan spoke up.

  “We can’t do anything we want, our Mom’s a teacher at the grade school, and she’s usually stuck grading papers after school. We always have to check in but she knows our friends and knows that we’re not interested in doing anything too stupid.” Isaac nodded in agreement. They didn’t mention their Dad, and I decided not to ask.

  “My Aunt Sylvia works nights at the diner in town.” Zeke shrugged as he turned a page in his Physics book “As long as I check in and stay out of trouble she pretty much lets me do what I want.” Everyone was avoiding looking at me. That’s when I understood, they didn’t usually have anyone at home most of the time. They stayed together all evening to keep each other company. I felt the wall I kept around my heart crack a little more. Shit.

  “Feel free to come over anytime guys.” I offered keeping my voice light. “It’ll annoy the crap out of Tara.” I heard chuckles go around the table. We all got to work studying. I focused on my World Civ for the first hour. I had moved on to Chemistry when I noticed Ethan shifting out of the corner of my eye wincing. I looked up from my book and watched him trying to stretch his lower back while staying in his chair.