Trying To Live With The Dead

by B. L. Brunnemer

  “You should be in class.” Rory answered, I looked behind me checking to see if Bitch Ghost was following. She wasn’t. My heart was still racing.

  “We have a fucking problem.” I snapped my voice shaking.

  “What’s wrong? What happened?” Rory demanded his voice hard.

  “Somehow ghost bitch got a whole lot of fucking juice.” I spotted my Blazer as I passed the library. “I can’t get past her to get to art class without her jumping me.”

  “Get your ass home now.” Rory ordered. I reached my truck and opened the door.

  “Already headed there.” I climbed in my hands still shaking, my stomach in a knot of fear. I didn’t want to get jumped; I didn’t want to die. “I don’t know how to deal with her, Rory.” I admitted shutting my door. I sat in my truck and was terrified for my life.

  “Go home, do some research. Look for a way to...deal with the problem.” The way he phrased it told me he wasn’t alone. I was nodding emphatically as I answered.

  “Yeah, sounds good. Research. I’ll look for a way to get rid of her.” I hung up the phone my chest tight. I knew Bitch Ghost wasn’t around so it was all me. FUCK! I took a deep calming breath as I buckled my seat belt. I can figure this out. Yeah, I can figure this out. I swallowed hard as I started the truck. Just because every other woman in my family died from getting jumped didn’t mean I was going to. I pulled out onto the street and headed home. I kept taking deep meditative breaths, reminding myself to slow down and brea... stop sign! Shit, I missed it. I checked my mirrors and saw no one else on the road. Thank God. I focused completely on driving home. I made sure to stop at every stop sign; I obeyed every law. When I pulled up to the house, I hurried. I shut off the truck, grabbed my bag and ran to the door. When I got there, I realized I had left my keys in the truck. I growled at myself and ran back. When I finally got inside, I ran straight into the kitchen and grabbed the salt shaker. I opened it, poured it on the counter and began to rub it onto my skin. I don’t know why I did this; I wasn’t being possessed or jumped. But I wanted the salt on me anyway. I slipped some into all my jean pockets. I sprinkled some in my hair, even went so far as to slip a little in the cups of my bra. Once I knew I was covered, I finally started to calm down. Taking deep calming breaths I just pushed the rest of the salt on the counter into the trash and then put the lid back on the shaker. I walked back to the door my mind a bit clearer now that I was calming down. I grabbed my bags and headed up to my room. I dropped my stuff and started my computer. Still taking deep calming breaths. As soon as I could, I started looking for ways to get rid of a ghost in a public space.

  It was a couple hours later when I heard someone knocking on the door. Curious, I went downstairs and answered the door. Miles, Isaac and Ethan were all standing there their arms full of stuff. Shit, I had totally forgotten that the guys were coming over.

  “Hey Beautiful, will you please tell my brother he’s being a tool?” Ethan asked as he walked into the house, with a guitar case across his back. Isaac was a step behind him with plastic grocery bags and video games in his hands.

  “Red wouldn’t do that would you Red?” Isaac asked heading towards the couch.

  “You’re a tool.” I announced smirking. Ethan and Miles burst out laughing. I looked at Ethan.

  “Why is he a tool?” Miles stepped into the house a brown box in his arms

  “Because he still listens to country music.” Ethan replied looking at his brother like Isaac had disappointed him. I laughed as I closed the door. When I turned around Miles gaze was running over my face.

  “Are you alright Alexis?" He asked. “You look paler than usual.”

  “Oh, yeah, I just had to kill a spider upstairs.” I lied hoping they’d buy the girly thing.

  “You're afraid of spiders?” Isaac asked his face stunned. “I thought you didn’t scare easy Red.” I ignored Isaac and tried to look into the box Miles was holding.

  “What did you bring?” Miles tilted the box so I could see inside. I saw wires and controllers.

  “A PS4, we’re gaming tonight.” Miles smiled at me before heading to the TV to set it up.

  Video games? I never really played them before. But if that was what the guys wanted to do. I’d give it a shot.

  An hour later… Oh my God, this is so fucking awesome! How the hell didn’t I know how fun video games were? I was so focused on making my character beat Isaac’s to a pulp that I didn’t notice when Rory came home.

  “Lexie!” Rory’s shout finally got my attention. I looked up at him wincing. My character promptly died on screen. Isaac raised his arms in victory.

  “Hell yeah!”

  “You technically didn’t win, Rory got her attention. So no win.” Miles informed us. I looked at Isaac.

  “Ha Ha.” I taunted then turned back to Rory, who had an odd look on his face. It was half-angry and half what am I going to do with you. It was an odd look. I got to my feet and handed my controller to Ethan. “I’ve got something for you upstairs Rory.” He nodded his eyes on the boy's playing their game. I stepped around Miles and headed upstairs. I tapped my computer to get it to wake up. I heard Rory close the door behind me. I tucked one leg under me and sat down in my desk chair. “Okay, I’ve found a couple things that might get rid of Bitch Ghost.” I showed him the store I found online. “Something called tar water; it’s supposed to pretty much keep malevolent spirits or things away.” I turned back to Rory who had sat on my bed. “But it’s back ordered by two months at least. Apparently the tar this person uses isn’t that easy to get anymore.” Rory pulled out his wallet and handed me a credit card.

  “Order it anyway. That will come in handy.” I quickly ordered the tar water and handed the credit card back. “The second thing is really just information.” I turned towards him again. “I came across a website about natural barriers, which everyone has. It basically says the more energy thrown at you the more these barriers degrades.” I shook my head, I wasn't even sure I was getting accurate information. “From that I had a thought about, what if Bitch Ghost isn’t getting more juice? But it just seems like it because my barriers are degrading?” I finished with a question. It made sense to me but I really needed a second opinion. Rory thought about it for a few moments.

  “That sounds possible.” He agreed as he narrowed his eyes at me. “What can you do to get your barriers back up?” I shrugged; he wasn’t going to like it.

  “Pretty much stay away from anything that can throw energy at me.” I sighed. “I have to stay away from her for a while. Which shouldn’t be hard since it’s the weekend; if I can stay away from the dead for a couple days, it should help bring up my barriers.” I hope. I wasn’t a hundred percent on it. But it’s the only thing I’ve found so far. Rory looked me in the eye, his face stern.

  “No dead this weekend. You hear me. I don’t care if they are in the house.” He ordered me. “No dead. Understand?” I nodded.

  “I understand.” I answered and then pushed my luck a bit. “Can I still hang out with the guys? Ethan’s band is playing in Dulcet tomorrow night. And Asher wanted to give me a rock climbing lesson at that indoor center on 5th.” I gave him my sweetest, please let me do this face. Rory snorted.

  “Yes, but you see a ghost you go the other way.” He declared. I saluted him.

  “Aye, aye, Captain.” He shook his head laughing.

  “You’re such a smart ass.”

  A couple hours later Rory was out picking up dinner from the local Italian restaurant when I gave up trying to beat Miles at the racing game. I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and noticed Ethan out back on the patio. He had his guitar out and looked to be writing down notes. Curious I grabbed a couple water bottles and slipped out back. Oh, it was chilly out here. Ethan didn’t seem to notice it as he frowned down at his notebook, bobbing his head to notes only he could hear. I smiled watching his mouth moving, singing silently. I stepped into his view and his head snapped up. His chocolate eyes found me as he gav
e me a half grin.

  “Caught me huh?” Ethan sighed, putting his guitar on the seat next to him. I walked over and handed him a bottle of water.

  “Do you ever stop working?” I asked sitting down across the patio coffee table from him. He shook his head.

  “On music? Never. You can always do better.” He leaned forward one elbow on his knee as he reached for his notebook.

  “What are you working on?” I asked leaning forward trying to take a peek. He snatched his notebook up fast.

  “Just some song.” He mumbled, his cheeks tinting pink. I smiled; it was so cute when the guys blushed. “It’s not really that good.” I settled into the corner of the patio sofa, making myself comfy.

  “How long have you been working on it?” Ethan opened his bottle of water and took a drink before answering.

  “Six months.” He told me looking everywhere but at me. Some of his hair came out from behind his ear, hiding one eye from me. I raised an eyebrow at him. Six months and he was still working on it?

  “Can I hear it?” He looked up at me, a deer in the headlights look in his eyes. He swallowed hard. I had never seen Ethan look insecure about something, but I was sure I was seeing it now.

  “I still don’t think it’s very good.” He told me shaking his head. It was strange seeing him like this, he always seemed so confident. Then again, everyone had something that meant a lot to them. I had my art, and Ethan apparently had his music.

  “Are you nervous about tomorrow night?” I asked before taking a drink of my water. He nodded, his gaze on the patio cement.

  “Yeah, it’s our first bigger than what we’ve been playing venue.” Ethan admitted as he began to twirl one of his silver rings. “There’s a lot riding on tomorrow.” He licked his lips as he looked out at the water again. He was really anxious.

  “Are you playing your band's songs or covers?” I asked hoping that if I got him talking he’d relax enough to tell me about his music. He looked back over at me that half smile on his face.

  “We’re still doing covers, some Breaking Benjamin, some Seether, some other hard rock.” His eyes started to sparkle a little. “It depends on where we are playing really. Eventually we’ll figure out our own music but for now.” He shrugged. As he kept talking he got more animated, his eyes lit up and his face relaxed, it made me want to hear more.

  “Tell me about your band.” That was all it took. He told me about his band mates; what they each had a talent for. Ethan’s was guitar and singing. I could see that with just his speaking voice. He was worried about writing songs, even though they were still playing covers. We talked about all of it. And through every word and gesture, I saw how much he truly loved music. How passionate he was about the right tone for a song, the right notes. When he finally relaxed enough, I asked him.

  “Can you play something for me? A cover you guys play?” I didn’t really want to wait till tomorrow to hear him sing.

  “Beautiful…” He began groaning.

  “I’m going to hear you tomorrow anyway.” I shrugged and looked out at the water acting like I wasn’t as interested as I was. He thought about it for a few heartbeats, then sighed. He reached over and picked up his guitar.

  “One song.” He told me firmly, his cheeks turning pink. He settled and took a deep breath, his eyes on the table between us. He started playing; I recognized this song. Breaking Benjamin’s Give Me a Sign. I was smiling as he played. Then he sang, and my mouth dropped. I barely managed to cover it by playing with my lower lip. His voice was amazing. That smokey smooth voice went a little low; rolling over my ears and making my toes actually curl. He slowed the tempo down by just half a beat, so he could use his voice in the best way. I won’t lie; his singing mesmerized me. All I could do was sit and listen. When he was done he put his guitar back in the case, his face red as he avoided looking at me. I closed my mouth and dropped my hand.

  “Ethan.” My voice was soft simply because I was still trying to think after that hearing him. Ethan finally looked over to me. His body tense again. “You could sing the worst songs ever written. And they will line up around the block to hear you sing it.” I told him honestly. I met those warm eyes and told him the truth. “Ethan, your voice is fucking toe curling. You’re going to make it in music with a band or without. It doesn’t matter.” Ethan smiled at me a little uncertainly.

  “You really think so?” I nodded emphatically.

  “Oh yeah. You’re going to do phenomenal.” I took a deep drink to cover how much that voice had affected me. Seriously, I wanted to roll around in silk sheets with that voice.

  “Thanks Beautiful.” Ethan’s voice was steady again, sounding more like him. “I really needed to hear that today.”

  “I will listen to you sing anytime.” I told him honestly before I let him get back to work and headed inside to try again at beating Miles.

  When Rory came back, everyone came to the table to eat. I got tense when Isaac went to use the saltshaker and found it empty. Rory shot me a knowing look. I played it off as one of those things that just happens. Everyone bought it and conversation went on as usual. Miles told Rory about the meteor shower tonight. How he hoped Rory wouldn’t mind if we used the dock out back to watch. Rory smiled and told him to come over anytime. Tara called Rory asking to spend the night at a friend’s house. Rory said yes. Soon after, I got a text from Asher. He was going to take a shower before coming over because and I quote ‘Stink to high heaven.’ We were playing video games again, this time with Rory taking a turn when Zeke texted Isaac to bring him food at work. I made Zeke up a plate and the twins headed off to deliver.

  It was getting close to nine when Miles and I headed out to the back and sat on the dock. Asher had finally made it over; apparently, they won the game. Rory was asking Asher about it as he ate the dinner I kept for him. So it was just me and Miles out on the dock looking up at the sky. It was freezing; I could see my breath. I really needed to start wearing hoodies under my leather jacket. I was sitting with my head tilted up looking at the stars when Miles broke the silence.

  “Do you know anything about Astronomy?” I heard his fingers tapping in that staccato rhythm against the dock. Poor Miles, he always seemed so uncomfortable around me.

  “I know our solar system, and that our galaxy is called the Milky Way. I know what a light year is.” I began searching my brain for any information. “And that there are other galaxies out there. That’s about it.”

  “It’s pretty cool if you think about it.” He began, his voice warming from polite to friendly. “Our galaxy is one million light years across, and we have photos that prove there are other galaxies out there.” I saw him adjust his glasses out of the corner of his eye. “The closest galaxy is Andromeda, and that is 2.5 million light years away.” I whistled.

  “That’s big.” He chuckled.

  “It’s enormous; the space out there could be infinite.” I looked over at him to see him smiling; he kept looking up as he lifted his hand. He held his forefinger and thumb barely apart. “And we’re just this little dot in all of that.” I looked back up at the sky trying to imagine all that distance out there.

  “That sounds really lonely when you think about it.” I admitted quietly. Getting a crick in my neck, I laid down on the dock. I crossed my arms behind my head.

  “Well, statistically there has to be other life out there somewhere.” Miles shrugged. “It’s probably really, really far away, but it’s probable.” We were quiet for a while as I thought about that. More life out there, a different species of thinking beings. And probably more dead I would see. I smiled at myself, imagining trying to move on an alien's soul. Miles gave up and lay down next to me on the dock, tucking one arm behind his head.

  “Did you know that since the stars are so far away, that by the time the light reaches us the star has been dead for years?” Mile’s soft voice turned silky, I’d never heard his voice like this before. It was soothing, and at the same time made me want to bite my lip. Yeah,
a good voice does something for me, so sue me. I was thinking about what he said though, all those stars out there were dead?

  “Well, when you say it like that, it’s not so pretty anymore.” I said my voice quiet.

  “Why’s that?”

  “It kind of takes something away from it. Knowing that their dead.” I kept my voice soft, not really knowing why.

  “Nothing lasts forever Alexis.” He told me softly.

  “Don’t I know it.” I whispered under my breath looking at a big clump of stars across the sky.

  “What do you mean?” There was something about Miles and that voice; he soothed something ragged inside me. I felt calm, peaceful laying here next to him on the dock. It’s the only reason I answered at all.