All's Fair in Love and War: A story of love and betrayal

by J Theron

  “Bon appétit,” he said before walking to the Dover stove to stoke the fire he had started while she was in the bathroom.

  “Usted es un dolor en el culo,” she murmured in Spanish as she opened the cans and took a bite of the beef.

  He chuckled. “You’re an even bigger pain in the ass, Gabrielle.”

  She almost spat the beef over the table. “Since when do you speak Spanish? You could barely speak proper English the last time I saw you,” she said, unable to suppress her smile.

  “I speak several languages. Turns out I have quite an aptitude for languages. It comes in handy when you’re a spy,” he said, scratching the stubble on his face and regarding her with an amused expression on his face.

  “Which other languages do you speak?” she asked, not just out of interest, but because she had a childish urge to be able to converse in a language he did not understand. Apart from Spanish she could speak French and a little Italian.

  “Not important,” he replied and Gabrielle snorted.

  Ryan sat across from her at the table and pulled the cans closer to take a bite.

  “I didn’t think I would ever speak to you again,” he said.

  Gabrielle studied his face. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Neither did I,” she said softly.

  “I thought about you often,” he said. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was petrified that I wouldn’t reach you in time.”

  “I’m grateful that you rescued me, please don’t think otherwise. I’m just wondering why my father chose you. He knew about our history.”

  “Your father is a smart man. I’m sure he had his reasons.”

  “I don’t always agree with his reasoning. It doesn’t matter now, anyway, because we’re stuck with each other and we’ll just have to deal with it until we’re out of here.”

  “Is that how you feel, that you’re stuck with me?” he asked.

  She sighed. “You know what I mean.”

  “Actually, I don’t. Why don’t you explain it to me?” he said, his expression guarded.

  “Now is not the time for this,” she said softly.

  Ryan swiped his palm over his face and sighed. “Why Colombia, Gabrielle?”

  Gabrielle frowned. “I don’t understand the question.”

  “When you ran away from me, why did you choose to run to Colombia?”

  “Please don’t be so conceited to think that I came to Colombia to get away from you. It has nothing to do with you.”

  “Why then? There are a million places and you chose this shithole.”

  “The opportunity presented itself at a time when I was uncertain what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”

  “Okay. I’m listening.”

  “I’m friends with the chief of staff of the hospital in the village. We were in medical school together. We kept in contact over the years and we always knew what the other was up to. He sent me an e-mail after I left the military and he offered me a job. The surgeon before me died in a car accident and my friend, who’s a paediatrician, was desperate to find a replacement. It was organized through the NPO I’m working for. I didn’t have the stomach for the military anymore. Here I feel like I’m fixing people with real medical problems, not merely putting shredded bodies back together.”

  “Are you happy? Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life?”

  She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’m happy for now. Well, not now anymore since everything has gone to shit! I suppose I’ll have to start all over again when I get back to New York.” She studied him for a second before saying, “I guess I can ask the same question. Are you happy?”

  Ryan nodded. “I’m glad I joined the CIA. I don’t have any attachments or family which makes my job easier. So yes, I guess I’m happy.”

  She didn’t say anything. She felt conflicted at his statement. She wanted to hate him, but a small part of her wanted him to admit that he missed her. She thought about her friend at the village hospital who used to make fun of his own indecisiveness. She always laughed when he said, I used to be indecisive, Gabrielle, but now I’m not so sure anymore. She could identify with that when she looked at Ryan. She had no idea what to feel when she looked at him. How could a person be so familiar and yet a complete stranger? How is it possible to hate and love someone at the same time?

  “I’m glad,” she finally said, unable to think of another appropriate response.

  Ryan sighed. “I have no idea when the rain will stop. I suggest we get some sleep. I didn’t sleep last night and some sleep will do me good.”

  “You can take the bed, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” she said.

  He took another bite and chew slowly, all the while studying her with narrowed eyes. “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “No, you’re not sleeping on the floor. You’ll sleep in the bed with me.”

  “Who the hell are you to give me orders?” Gabrielle exclaimed.

  “You need to rest and you cannot sleep properly on the floor. Don’t be childish,” he grumbled.

  “Whatever. I don’t care one way or the other,” she replied. “Is the water in the shower warm yet?”

  He nodded. “It should be.”

  She got up and went to the bathroom. She closed the door and managed to wash herself in record time before the water started to cool down. She dressed again in the same clothes and when she opened the door she saw that Ryan was in bed already. He had drawn the dark curtains in front of the small windows and the cabin was in semi-darkness. It was still pouring with rain outside and he seemed to be fast asleep.

  She approached the bed wearily and sat down on the right side. Her side. He had always slept on the left side. She bent over and took off her boots but kept her socks on. She lifted the blanket and realized that he had used the one blanket as a sheet and the other to cover himself. Great! Now they had to share a blanket.

  She lied down, still fully clothed, and tried not to look at Ryan who was wearing his cargo pants but no shirt. He was facing away from her and she could only see his back. She was as stiff as a board and stared up at the roof.

  She was aware of every breath he took and every move he made. Shit! Now she sounded like a Sting song! She was concentrating to breathe normally when he spoke. It startled her so badly she almost jumped out of the bed.

  “Would you just relax? You’re so tense, it’s giving me palpitations. I don’t have any interest in trying anything. I got the message loud and clear three years ago. Go to sleep.”

  “I was asleep until you woke me with your stupid comments.”

  He turned around and regarded her thoughtfully. “Liar,” he whispered.

  She bit her lip then murmured, “Leave me alone.”

  He sighed and then turned around again, facing away from her. She tried to sleep but it took a long time before she finally succumbed to the soul crushing exhaustion that seemed to seep into the marrow of her bones.

  CHAPTER 5

  Afghanistan, 3 years ago.

  Ryan opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Gabrielle. She was asleep in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed. She was wearing scrubs and her hair was braided, but locks of hair had escaped its confinement and framed her beautiful face in soft curls. He studied her intently and noticed that she had marks on her forehead indicating that she had chicken pox as a child. Somehow the little imperfections made her even more beautiful.

  He simply stared at her. He could not understand why he was so infatuated with her. He barely knew her. Actually he did understand why he wanted her. It was because she was off limits and he knew enough about human nature to understand that people always wanted what they could not have.

  He had to get a grip on himself. She was his doctor and the little he had heard about her pointed to her absolute professionalism and sense of duty. He tried to move his leg and the pain was so excruciating, he could not help but groan. If he kept his leg still he could handle it, but movement was unbearable
.

  Gabrielle was instantly awake and sat up in the chair, staring at him. A fleeting look of extreme concern crossed her face before her expression became guarded. “Are you feeling better, Captain Evans?”

  He tried to smile but suspected he was failing to sell it. “Yes, much better.”

  Her face was inscrutable. “Liar,” she whispered.

  “Okay, let me rephrase. Nothing that I can’t handle. If I don’t move too much.”

  “The nurse tells me you’ve been refusing your pain medication,” she said, her facial expression one of disapproval.

  “I deserve to suffer, it’s my penance,” he replied.

  “If you’re in pain it will hamper your recovery. You can’t move if you have pain and if you can’t mobilize, your muscles will atrophy.”

  Gabrielle rose from the chair and pulled the blanket away. “What are you doing?” he asked in a startled voice.

  “Inspecting the wound. I need to remove the dressing to look for signs of cellulitis,” she said nonchalantly while lifting his upper leg to remove the bandage.

  Her soft hands were brushing his inner thigh, very close to other very vital parts of his anatomy and he almost broke out in a cold sweat, trying to keep from showing a very physical response to her soft touch.

  “Is it absolutely necessary?” he groaned.

  She looked startled. “I’m so sorry. I know it must be painful.”

  “You have no idea,” he murmured, meaning something entirely different to what she was thinking.

  She sighed in relief when the bandage was off. “The wound looks fantastic. No sign of infection and it seems to be healing well. We should have you on your feet in a few days. We just have to be careful not to tear the sutures. If the wound opens up it will be detrimental to your recovery.”

  “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

  “Take the medication.”

  He grinned at her. “Okay.”

  She looked up from his leg and into his eyes. She smiled a lopsided smile.

  “Why do you look so amused?” he asked.

  She bit her lip and tried to suppress her smile. “I didn’t think you would agree so easily. You tend to be a bit difficult.”

  He snorted. “A bit? You haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Gabrielle studied him intently and seemed to ponder her next statement. “I already know that your bark is worse than your bite.”

  Ryan opened his mouth and almost made an entirely inappropriate comment like I would like to bite you. He bit down and managed to keep his mouth shut. Instead he watched as she smiled and stood back from the bed.

  “Try to get some rest. I’ll send Nurse Jennifer to bandage your leg again.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” he said respectfully, although he had anything but respectful thoughts about her as she walked away. He could not help but notice her small waist and full breasts straining against her scrubs. Her hips made a gentle swaying movement as she walked away and he momentarily imagined grabbing her hips as he buried himself inside her. He imagined what her breasts would look like as he claimed her body and how it would feel to suck them into his mouth.

  His imagination went completely haywire and he was rock hard as he continued to follow her with his gaze. She stopped at the nurses’ station and briefly spoke to the nurse who looked in his direction. The nurse nodded and rushed to his bed as Gabrielle left the ward.

  “Captain Evans, how’s the leg?” Jennifer asked as she started to clean the wound.

  “Painful,” he grumbled and his leg was not the only part of his anatomy that was in agony. He could not remember the last time he was this hard. He was grateful for the thick blanket over his lower body.

  She looked worried. “I’ll try to be gentle.”

  “I’ll be happier if you’re quick.”

  “I’m sorry about your men. I know you cared about them,” she said softly while winding the bandage around his leg.

  “I’m sorry too,” he said. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the pain as she worked with his leg. At least the pain took care of his other problem.

  “I’m done,” she said after a few minutes. He opened his eyes and saw that she was still standing next to his bed. She seemed to wait for something.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked. He studied her briefly and noticed that she was very attractive. She was petite with deep chocolate brown eyes and nice curves. Her blond hair was twisted in a knot at the back of her head.

  “No. Nothing. Sorry. I was staring. I just feel sorry for you, Captain, and I want to help you. Please don’t hesitate to ask if you think of something that will help you forget.”

  Ryan frowned. She seemed sincere, but he could not shake the feeling that she implied something else with her statement. “I’m fine. I don’t need help.”

  She nodded. “Good. Thank you, Captain. I’ll be at the nurses’ station.” She turned around and walked away.

  He closed his eyes and was thankful that he did not have to answer any more questions. He tried to get his mind to think rationally. This infatuation with Gabrielle had to stop. Nothing good could come from it. She clearly was not interested and he had to consider the fact that he was her patient.

  He had to stay away from her. He had always been able to control his emotions. No woman had ever held power over him and he sure as hell would not let it happen now. She was just another female crossing his path and women were a dime a dozen, easily replaceable and imminently forgettable.

  Ryan found that he became increasingly frustrated over the next few weeks. His leg recovered gradually and he was relieved when Gabrielle removed the skin sutures. He still had a pressure bandage around his upper leg when he exercised, but it became easier as time passed. To make matters worse he suddenly developed a high fever and became very unwell, prompting Gabrielle to start a course of intravenous antibiotics, delaying his discharge.

  What frustrated him more than his relapse was his inability to put his doctor out of his mind. He knew her schedule by heart and counted the minutes until she came into the hospital to do her rounds. He could not take his eyes off her as she walked up and down the aisles, examining her patients. She smiled at them, reassured them and laughed with them. He could see the looks some of the fellow soldiers in the hospital gave her and he suspected he was not alone in his infatuation.

  She seemed to be completely oblivious and simply carried on with her duties. It was a very abnormal situation because there were very few females on base, she was incredibly beautiful and she was responsible for saving the lives of many men in the hospital. He would not be surprised if half the unit was a little bit in love with her.

  Two weeks after he had been admitted, and one day before discharge from hospital, Ryan noticed Doctor Idiot Smith dogging Gabrielle’s step as they walked into the ward. It was late at night and all of the patients seemed to be sleeping. Ryan on the other hand was unable to sleep, to his intense frustration. Part of him was disappointed because he would see less of Gabrielle once he was discharged, and part of him frustrated because he was such a weakling, allowing a woman to influence his state of mind.

  He watched the two of them, because he was unable to look away from Gabrielle when she was around, and noticed that Smith seemed to be arguing with her. They were at the far side of the hospital, standing next to the nurses’ station. They were too far away to hear what was being said, but she seemed to be ignoring him, which only inflamed Smith more. She turned around and walked away and he grabbed her arm, pulling her back forcefully. She stumbled because he refused to release her, even though she tried to tug her arm from his grip.

  Ryan could not help himself and instinct seemed to take over as he shot out of bed, grabbed his crutch, and walked in their direction, as fast as his injured leg would allow. He was seething and he could almost feel his fist connect with Smith’s teeth. He did not want to cause a spectacle in the hospital and he took a deep breath to calm himself. He halted a few feet away an
d tapped with his crutch against Smith’s leg to get his attention.

  “Take your hands off her,” he said.

  They both spun in Ryan’s direction and Smith looked as if he was going to expire. His face became a bright red color and he opened and closed his mouth in frustration. It reminded Ryan of the fish he used to catch when he was a boy. Gabrielle looked stunned and simply stared at Ryan.

  “We’re having a private conversation, Captain Evans,” he finally managed to say in a choked voice.

  “And I said to take your hands off the doctor, Captain Smith.”

  Smith slowly removed his hand from her arm. He stared at Ryan with undisguised contempt and Ryan immediately suspected that this was more than a work related argument. Smith managed to school his features before saying, “I’m sorry, Captain. I didn’t mean to offend Doctor Durand. I was getting a bit carried away during our discussion.” He looked at Gabrielle. “We can finish this discussion later.”

  Gabrielle stood motionless. “It’s already finished. I have nothing more to say on the matter, Captain Smith.”

  Smith opened his mouth as if to say something else and then seemed to change his mind. He spun on his heel and stomped out of the hospital in a huff. Gabrielle focused her amber gaze on Ryan and he had to concentrate to think clearly. She took his breath away with one look.

  “Thank you. I hope you didn’t injure your leg?” she asked, concern evident in her assessing gaze.

  He smiled. “It’s the least I could do for my favorite doctor.”

  She grinned. “I’m your only doctor.”

  His smile faded and he asked in a serious voice, “What was that about?”

  She looked at her feet and seemed uncomfortable. “Would you let it go if I asked you?”

  He rested on his crutch and looked at her pensively. “For now, but if he does it again I’ll be obligated to punch his teeth out of his annoying mouth. He’s the sorriest excuse for a doctor I’ve ever come across. And by that I’m not referring to his medical skills, more the proverbial sliminess he oozes from every pore.”