by AC Netzel
“On my way,” I call out, dirty diaper in hand. “I’ll grab a bottle for her.”
After sealing the diaper and wipes in two plastic bags, I toss them in the trash can. Repulsed, I wash my hands like I’m prepping for surgery then join the boys in the living room.
Joe and Vince are sitting on the couch with Joe’s backpack on the floor next to them.
“What are you guys up to?” I ask, handing Vince a bottle of milk.
That came from my best friends boobs.
Weird shit.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Vince says with humor in his tone. “Joe’s showing me some of his coins.”
Most kids bring a doll or a toy truck. This kid brings coins and a magnifying glass.
“Aren’t you lucky?” I say sarcastically.
“I think you’ll be very interested in these particular coins. Sit down and take a look.”
I roll my eyes and sit on the opposite side of Joe. I have zero interest in looking at grimy old nickels and dimes all night long, but being the fab Aunt that I am, I cave.
“All right, kiddo. Dazzle me with a quarter.”
He hands a magnifying glass to me and an old bronze coin.
“Can’t wait to see this,” I lie as I place the magnifying glass up to my eye. “What the ffffffu…”
Wide-eyed, I look at Vince, who’s smirking.
This coin is pornographic. Some naked collared chick is about to get hammered from behind by a naked guy.
“Joe?” My voice is dripping in sweetness. “Where did you get this?”
“My daddy’s desk drawer.”
“Does your dad know you have this?”
His eyes widen and he freezes in his seat.
“I’m gonna guess he doesn’t know. Am I right?”
Joe nods slowly. “Mommy and daddy won’t let me play with these. So I took them. What are those people doing?” he asks, pointing his tiny index finger at the coin.
Fucking like porn stars, that’s what.
“Playing leapfrog,” Vince tells him.
I cough, covering up a laugh.
“Do you have any more of these coins?” I hold on to my sweet tone.
He nods and holds out his hand. In his palm are five more sex coins.
Blow jobs, her on top, him on top, reverse cowgirl, and a shitload of erections.
Only Ben could turn something as dull as coin collecting into something dirty. No wonder why Julia doesn’t mind his geeky hobby.
“Is that his pee-pee?” Joe asks, pointing at a very erect dick.
“It’s a stick,” I lie. It’s close to the truth. It is a woody. “I don’t think your dad would be happy if he knew you took his stuff without asking.”
“We don’t have to tell him,” he says, shrugging his shoulders in that adorable way that I guarantee gets him out of Time-Out.
I smile. That’s Julia’s snark talking.
“I won’t say a word. Why don’t you change into your pajamas then we’ll have some dessert.”
“Okay.” He hops off the couch and runs to our spare bedroom.
Vince and I stare at each other and burst out in quiet laughter.
“Shhhh,” he says with a chuckle. “The baby fell back to sleep.” He looks down at Kate sleeping soundly in his arms.
“Oh my God. Oh my God.” I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“That kid is fucking funny.”
My cell phone vibrates on the coffee table, interrupting our gigglefest. I pick up the phone and roll my eyes.
“Julia,” I tell Vince as I read her text.
*How’s everything going?*
I knew she wouldn’t last the night without checking up on us.
*We’re looking at porn with your kids.*
*Very funny. Are they okay?”
*Still alive. Kate crapped and ate. Vince is burping her now. Joe’s putting on his PJs.*
*Good. Thanks again for doing this.*
*Did you make it past the elevator before he attacked you?*
*Barely.*
I laugh, knowing she’s laughing too.
*Is it as good as you remember?*
*So much better.*
*Then get off your damn phone and straddle your husband!*
*If you insist. See you tomorrow.*
*Have fun, you filthy minx.*
I place my cell back on the coffee table and look at Vince. “She’s going to be bowlegged tomorrow.”
~o0o~
I take Kate from Vince and place her back in the crib in our bedroom. Watching a baby is simple. Sleep. Eat. Crap. Repeat. Since sleeping naked is not an option tonight, I throw on an oversized T-Shirt and a pair of shorts and walk back into the living room.
The boys are sitting on the couch, Joe leaning on Vince’s arm as they enjoy some ice cream.
“You didn’t get any for me?” I pout.
“It’s on the table, baby.”
Joe giggles, shaking his head. “Aunt Allie isn’t a baby.”
Vince’s smoldering gaze travels up and down my body, pausing at my legs. A sexy smile lifts from the side of his mouth. Heat rises to my face as I blush. That smile gets me every time.
Oh, yeah. I’m his baby.
Spotting my blush, Vince raises a brow in my direction. Yeah, you bastard, we both know you turn me on. He chuckles and musses up Joe’s hair.
“Finish that up. It’s time for bed,” I tell Joe, mimicking Julia’s stern mother voice.
He turns to Vince. “Will you read to me?”
“Sure.”
~o0o~
Vince takes Joe to brush his teeth while I bring the ice cream bowls to the kitchen. I take a quick detour and check on Kate who is sound asleep, her perfect little mouth opened and her arms stretched over her head. And her feet… tiny little toes may just be my Achilles heel.
Toes. Achilles heel. That was funny. Sometimes I crack myself up.
She’s beautiful. Perfect, like a doll. And she does smell kinda nice, now that she’s not swimming in crap.
I tiptoe out of our room and walk to the spare bedroom. Leaning against the doorframe, I stop and listen to the boys as Vince finishes reading One Fish, Two Fish. Vince is sitting on the bed with his back to me and Joe is neatly tucked in.
“Can you read it again?” Joe asks.
“Tell you what… I’ll read it to you twice tomorrow. Deal?” He holds out a fist.
“Okay.” Joe fist bumps him and they ‘explode’ in unison. “Why don’t you wear a ring like my dad?”
“I’m not married like your dad.”
“Why not?”
“The girl I want to marry doesn’t want to marry me.” There’s sadness in his tone that makes my heart constrict.
“Is it Aunt Allie?”
“Yeah, bud. It’s Aunt Allie.”
It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want to marry… period.
“Did you ask her?”
“Many, many times.”
“She doesn’t like you?”
Ouch.
“She does,” Vince tells him, blowing out a quick breath. “She’s just scared.”
“Of you?”
Vince chuckles. “No. Real men don’t scare women.”
He’s wrong. Sometimes real men unintentionally scare women. Sometimes, how much I love him terrifies me.
“Are you going to marry someone else?”
My hand flies to my mouth, holding back a gasp. This kid is saying out loud my one fear—One day he’ll get tired of asking and leave.
Vince hesitates for a moment and I swear my heart just stopped beating.
“No. I love her.”
“Like my daddy loves my mommy?”
“Yeah, kid.” He nods. “Just like your dad loves your mom.”
Tears prick in my eyes. Quickly, I wipe them away before they see, then walk into the room.
“Here are my guys,” I say lightly, swallowing down the lump in my throat.
“Uncle Vince is going to read
two books in the morning.” Joe grins wide. His dimples are adorable. This child has mastered the cute act.
“Lucky you,” I tell him. “How’d he manage that?” I arch a brow at Vince.
“He’s a born negotiator.” Vince smiles, a beautiful, sad smile that makes my stomach flip and my heart break a little.
“Well, it’s past your bedtime, kiddo.” I bend down, grab his blue blankie out of the duffle bag on the floor, and hold it out to him. “Here ya go.”
He snatches it, squishing it into a ball, and nestles it next to his cheek.
“The nightlight is plugged in and the hall light is on. If you need us, we’re in the room next door,” Vince tells him.
“Did you check under the bed?” Joe asks.
Vince nods. “And the closet. No monsters. Okay?”
Joe nods, yawning.
“Goodnight.” Vince leans down and kisses his forehead.
“Sweet dreams, Joe.” I kiss him on the forehead and we leave.
~o0o~
Doing what I always do when marriage comes up in conversation— I pretend it didn’t happen, act as if I’m tired, and go straight to bed.
I don’t know what my issue is. Vince is it for me. He’s my guy. That much I know. I can’t imagine anyone else in the world who could appreciate my eccentricities the way he does.
And it’s not like I’m surrounded by bad relationships. My parents are still together. Julia and Ben are so damn happy, it’s nauseating. And Marcello and Peter are solid— married with those two continually yapping dogs they bring every-fucking-where.
Sometimes I don’t get me.
But I found someone who does.
“Those two wore me out,” I yawn, stretching my arms up in the air.
“Okay, let’s hit the sheets.”
After taking one last peek at Kate, we slip under the blankets and face each other.
Vince gazes at me, licking his lips. I know that look. He’s about to pounce.
“No sex,” I whisper, eying the crib.
“Do you think she’s going to watch us?”
“Don’t be funny. Sir Rod stays in your pants tonight.”
“You’re not going to kiss it goodnight?”
I shake my head with a small smile.
“Touch it?”
“Nope.”
“I’m going to fuck you ‘til next Saturday when these kids go home.”
“I’d like to see you try,” I dare.
Seriously. I’d really like to see him try.
“Baby, for the next week every day will start with a morning cock-a-doodle-do-me, an afternoon cock sandwiched between your tits, and dinner dick.”
Chuckling, I shake my head. “I’m impressed with the speed your dirty mind can reference all that.”
“Marketing major. I know how to sell it.”
“Oh? Have you marketed your dick often?”
“No. My dick is your dick. I’m selling it to you.”
“I’ve been sold on Sir Rod for a long time, but I’m glad to hear it.”
“I think you know it.”
Replaying the conversation I overheard a little while ago, I nod. “I do. And just to keep things on an even playing field, my pussy is your pussy.”
He chuckles then pulls me close to him, flipping me around until I’m facing the wall, and spoons me. I close my eyes and relish his strong arms around me.
We lay silently together, my body a perfect fit to his.
I love this about us. The quiet part. The one no one knows about. The part only we see.
The fact that we’re occasionally sweet and loving is our dirty little secret.
Then I look down and admire the tats on his forearm. Fuck me. They get my heart racing every time.
“I love you, Allison,” he whispers, kissing the back of my hair and squeezing me tighter. Vince rarely calls me by my full name. He only does when he wants me to know how deeply he feels about me— how much he loves me.
It overwhelms me and my eyes well up.
“I love you too, Vincent,” I whisper back and close my eyes, ignoring the tear falling down my cheek.
So much.
~o0o~
I’ve had various body parts of Vince pressing against my back often enough to know whatever’s pushing on it now, isn’t him. I flip over and come face to face with Joe, nestled between a sleeping Vince and me, blue blanket in hand.
Now I understand why Julia and Ben wanted to be alone for their first doctor approved sex session. This kid’s stellar cockblocking abilities would have Ben’s balls bluer than that blankie Joe’s clutching on to.
“Are you all right?” I whisper.
Joe shrugs.
“Afraid to sleep alone?”
He shrugs again.
“You want to stay here with us?”
He nods slowly.
“Okay. Go back to sleep. You’re safe here.”
He smiles and closes his eyes.
Joe quickly drifts back to sleep. It gives me all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings inside, making me a little uncomfortable. It’s nice but confusing. Then I peek at Vince, dead to the world.
I have to admit, watching how natural he is with the kids has catapulted his hotness factor. I mean, this hard, dirty talking man can flip the switch and be this caring, sweet, nurturing guy. It’s unexpectedly attractive. I want to hug him— then fuck the living fuck out of him.
I hate the feels.
~o0o~
I open my eyes to an empty bed. No men, big or small, in sight. I peek in the crib—no Kate either. Despite the fact that it’s Sunday and I’d typically stay here for a few more hours, I hop off my comfy mattress in search of my temporary family.
Vince and Joe are chatting about dinosaurs in the kitchen. Joe’s sitting at the table while Vince is making pancakes at the stove. Kate is strapped in her car seat that’s on top of the kitchen table.
I stop, cross my arms and smile. Honestly, all they need is a yellow Lab with a rolled up newspaper in its mouth to complete the Hallmark/Lifetime movie of the week look.
Vince spins around with a small plate of silver dollar pancakes and places it in front of Joe. Joe grabs the maple syrup and pours it on the stack. And when I say pours, I mean drenches it until the pancakes are swimming. I shake my head and laugh to myself. He is his mother’s child, that’s for sure.
Vince looks up and catches me spying on them. He smiles warmly and winks. I giggle like a stupid school girl.
Dammit, I’m crushing hard on the deliciously domesticated daddy in front of me.
“Good morning. What can I get you for breakfast?” Vince asks.
Your thick, hard dick between my legs.
“Just some coffee right now. I’ll get it.” I walk to the counter and pour myself a cup. “How did you manage all this and not wake me?”
“Baby, you were unconscious. I changed Kate’s diaper on our bed without waking you last night.”
“She woke up?”
“You mumbled something about alarm clocks when you heard her cry and threw the pillow over your head. I got up, fed her, changed her, and she went right back to sleep. She’s pretty low maintenance.”
“God, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. When did he join us?” Vince juts his chin toward Joe.
“I’m not sure. A small hand was resting on my back. I turned around and there he was, staring back at me.”
Vince laughs. “That’s probably the reason Julia and Ben didn’t have another kid sooner.”
“Hard to… you know…” I wiggle my brows, “when a three-year-old sleeps between you.”
“Aunt Allie?” Joe asks. “How did you meet Uncle Vince?
Well, young man… he was a tatted random guy in a hardhat I fucked in a public bathroom before I knew his name. He was so good, I kept coming back for more.
“Through work,” I tell him.
Sorta true.
“Uncle Vince is cool,” he says, stuffing a forkful of pancakes into
his mouth.
“Yeah,” I gaze lovingly at Vince and smile, “he is cool.”
~o0o~
“Thanks again. I owe you,” Julia tells me as she snaps Kate’s buttons on her pink coat then straps her into her car seat.
“See? I’m still Fairy-Fucking-Godmothering you,” I joke.
She laughs. “Well Godmother, your magic wand was spectacular last night. And this morning.”
I chuckle. “You look tired.”
“Sooo worth it.” She sighs contently. Cupping her hand to her mouth, she whispers, “He had me strip for him in front of the wall to ceiling window… with the hotel curtains wide open.”
“Window whore,” I tease.
“We were on the forty-second floor, so I doubt anyone could see in, but …”
“Forbidden? Liberating?”
“Oh my God, so good.”
“Did he turn you around and touch you in front of the window?” I ask.
Her face turns bright red and she gives me a small nod. “And more,” her voice barely audible.
“Thought so.” I chuckle.
Embarrassing Julia is my second favorite activity. Sex, of course, comes first.
She clears her throat. “The kids were good for you and Vince?”
Julia’s done sharing. I’m impressed she gave me that much info.
“A breeze.”
“Did Joe sneak into your bed?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
She winces. “Sorry.”
“Nah, it was fine. He practically attached himself to Vince most of the night anyway.”
“Vince is good with the kids.”
“He is,” I say in amazement.
“I told you he was a keeper.” She leans in, lowering her voice. “Has he asked you recently?”
“The marriage thing? No. But I heard him and Joe talking about it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, Joe asked him why he wasn’t wearing a wedding band.”
“Oh.” She looks down to the ground.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s none of my business.”
“Like that’s ever stopped you from telling me what you’re thinking. Just spill it. I already know what it is.”
“I’m not telling you to marry him. That’s between the two of you. But I think you should tell him the real reason why you don’t want to get married.”
“Okay, Mrs. I-Have-All-The-Answers… why?”
“Because you’re afraid the sex appeal… the naughty, dirty stuff… will disappear. You’re afraid you’ll lose the magic. And you don’t want to lose that because you don’t want to lose Vince. And for some stupid reason, you think that’s the strongest bond that keeps you two together.”