Jimi jumped off Axl’s shoulder and onto Perry’s shoulder in between Perry and
Tony, he yelled over the crowd,”Dat Big Flea man!”
Big Flea made his way to the ring. The sea of primates parting in front of his path. Gorillas slapped him on the back. He got to the ring. He jumped up and down, quickly darted from one side to the other. Then he took both his fists and pounded the ground.
Tony looked at L. Her eyes were wide open, a little fear, a lot of uncomfortable-
ness and questioning. Tony looked the other way at Perry. He had a million dollar smile, Jimi was on his shoulder hitting a joint. Perry continued to smile, Jimi put the joint in Perry’s smile and he hit it also. They shuffled through the crowd and found a spot, on a branch on the wall, only a few feet off the ground. It was sturdy and surprisingly comfortable. Their feet dangled above the crowd below them.
“Holy fucking shit this is awesome!” Perry was loving it. He leaned to Jimi,
still on his shoulder,”Can we bet?”
Yea man, der man!” Jimi pointed to a booth. Like a scene out of a movie there as a single gorilla grabbing money from a crowd of gorillas and handing them back pieces of paper. He was yelling about odds or something, they couldn’t hear over the crowd.
The attention switched to the opposite side of the arena. There was another hallway on that side. The moment a shadow stretched down the hall and was visible the crowd started getting excited. Monkeys who were on the floor jumped and ran up the walls to their seats, the betting booth emptied.
A giant gorilla head emerged, the crowd went bananas. When he was fully in view, he stopped. He beat his chest with the quickness of a speed metal drummer on double bass. Then he roared with his entire body, it was otherworldly loud. The crowd that was already going bananas, went completely motherfucking bananas! They were so excited they jumped and spun around, some roared themselves. The whole place was shaking. L covered her ears, even though she was half way across the arena. This gorilla was a true silverback.
“Dat King man!” Jimi yelled to the humans.
He walked through the crowd with more charisma than Big Flea, giving high
fives back to his fans, pointing at monkeys in the crowd. There was no boos in this entrance and no poo being flung.
Tony noticed as King walked towards the ring. There was no timer, no judges,
no referee.
King was actually a bit smaller than Big Flea, and seemed a bit more likeable. As soon as he hit the ring, his demeanor changed. He became deadly serious. He pounded the ground, one fist after another. He looked at Big Flea and his eyes widened. They both walked towards the middle of the ring. Big Flea held a fist above his head. King stretched his long arms and walked up to Big Flea. The crowd was getting louder and louder as he approached. King held up his fist and slowly moved it towards Big Flea’s fist. The arena exploded with cheers. The fists touched.
At the moment their skin touched, Big Flea threw a wild haymaker, attempting
to surprise King and make first contact. King seemed to know his first move, and did a backflip out of the way with unthinking wisdom. The crowd went ballistic. He looked to the crowd. Big Flea charged. King seemed to act like he didn’t see it coming, then at the last second ducked and went under Big Flea’s charge. King even managed to land an upkick to the face as he went under Big Flea. The upkick didn’t look like a massive hit, but it dazed Big Flea. He had to shake it off.
King was done playing. He took the center of the ring and pounded his chest,
like “Cmon!” Big Flea charged again and they collided in the center of the ring like 2 charging elephants. The entire place shook with the impact. Dust flew, neither gave an inch. There was a battle of strength, both had the other in a bear hug, they each had one arm under their opponents, it was an even stance. The battled for arm position, each trying to get underhooks, but it was a stalemate of a grab. Big Flea pushed on the ground with his massive feet, and started to move King back. He roared in King’s face as King began to be forced backwards. He kept at it, King was being bent backwards. pushed toward the edge of the ring. The fans on that side of the ring moved out of the way, just in case. King had to take a step backwards to keep his footing. Big Flea took a step forward.
King made his move. He was waiting for Big Flea to take a step, and in the
short second Big Flea had one foot in the air King swept his other foot. Big Flea’s other foot was swept off the ground, his whole body in the air now King shifted his weight like a sumo wrestler and slammed Big Flear to the ground. It was a massive, Earth shaking slam. It actually made the whole Mosh Tree waver, a thousand primates and monkeys had to hold on to their seats. Everyone went crazy screaming, a game 7 grand slam, a last second touchdown, a 3 pointer as time expired.
Both massive apes were on the ground for a second, King’s body on top. Then King slowly stood up, he looked down at Big Flea, put both fists together and raised them above his head. It looked like he was ready to deliver a knockout blow, or a killing blow, maybe both. Big Flea had the wind knocked out of him and many broken ribs, he was laying there probably wanting to put up his arms in defense, but he couldn’t. King was about to lay down the final blow when Big Flea motioned with his head, he gave. King turned his death punch into a hand and helped up Big Flea.
The crowd flipped out, everyone left their seats, running, climbing, collecting bets and jumping around.
King was at the center of all of this. Pointing and smiling at the crowd like he was The Rock. After a bit of celebration, King reached down into the crowd and pulled up Big Flea. They hugged, Big Flea said something in King’s ear. They both laughed and pounded their chests. A celebration began, right then and there. Some sort of monkey booze seemed to be the drink of choice.
A random monkey handed a cup of it to Tony, he smiled and drank it. It wasn’t
good, but it was strong. Tony offered some to L, she tried it with an “eww” face. Perry grabbed at it.
“Don’t weeze the juice!” He finished it, grimacing but smiling at the same time. There was a lot of drinking, smoking and worming. The sports crowd turned into a party crowd.
After a while of partying, it started to die down. Axl made his way to the group. Jimi was telling the story of how they made his mini guitar.
“Let go.” Axl said.
They all went, talked about the crazy scene they just saw on the way back to the guest room.
“If Big Flea win, Big Flea leader.” Axl said.
In a hallway, they passed Big Flea. He wasn’t naked anymore, he had a pair of human underwear on. Seeing Flea in just his underwear it reminded L of another rock star named Flea.
“Ohhh, Big Flea! I get it now L”, said.
“What? I don’t get it?” Perry asked.
“Flea? Red Hot Chili Peppers? Underwear.” L hinted.
“Ohhhh! Big Flea, like he’s a gigantic Flea! Haha. Awesome.” Perry finally
got it.
23
PUSSY ASS HUMANS
They got to the guest room. Axl pointed, “Here. Room. I get King, he come
talk.” Axl said and left. Jimi jumped off Perry’s shoulder, bounced off the ground and ran on the wall like spider man, then leaped and landed on Axl’s shoulders. He looked back at the Humans, like making sure they saw it. He gave them a thumbs up and a smile.
They opened the door to the guest room. A familiar site, Perry’s cloned
girlfriend bent over, exposed ass looking out from her hospital robe. And clone Perry, sitting with a smile on his face.
It was a good sized room, 4 beds, one in each corner. And that was it. They all plopped down.
“That was intense!” Tony proclaimed.
“Ohh man.” Perry agreed.
“That was scary!” L agreed also.
Perry laughed, “Big Flea. That Slash guy. The whole band. So each monkey
dresses up and assumes the name of a rock star? That’s pretty fuckin weird, right!?”
“It’s craziness. I keep thinking it’s a dream.” Tony admitted. L just shook her head.
They all sat around for a few minutes, unwinding. “Don’t unpack and get too comfortable.” Perry reminded the others.
Axl opened the door. “Let go.”
Jimi continued, on Axl’s shoulder, “Man, King no come here. You go there.” and he motioned with his little head and big afro. “Dog and dumb human no come.”
They started walking down the long hallway. Just as they started off, someone was coming the opposite way and had to scoot by them. It was a gorilla. A female. As the group passed her, Perry looked up at her.
They made eye contact and the world paused and began moving in slow motion
for both of them. She had a tiny bit of pink eye shadow. They instantly felt familiar to each other. Perry didn’t see a gorilla, an animal in those eyes, he saw beauty. She stared at him, her gaze piercing his heart. He felt it in his chest. Instant extreme desire. He tried to stop, but the group pushed him from behind.
“Cmon. Keep moving.”
He stumbled forward, looking backward, keeping his eyes locked with hers.
“Wait.” He mumbled.
“Man, cmon big ball.” Jimi yelled at him in his high pitched voice.
He watched her walk away, she shook her ass and looked back at him.
They walked a long way down the main hallway, Perry’s mind wasn’t with
them, it was with her.
Occasionally a primate who resembled a rock star would go by. They passed a door just as someone was coming out and some of the humans caught a peek of what was inside. Everyone felt the heat flow out of the room. It was a forge of some sort, gorillas in there were pouring liquid metals from melting pot into molds. Another room looked like a butcher.
After what seemed like at least a mile, they came to another hollowed out tree, the hallway kept going, but they were heading up. Axl and Jimi effortlessly climbed up. They climbed up for a long while, it was hard to tell distance while climbing inside a hollow tree with little to no light. At least they didn’t have their packs, none of them would’ve made it. They reached another door that quietly slid open after a few hidden presses and clicks.
Tony was the first human to exit behind Axl and Jimi, vertigo hit him as he
looked down. It looked like he was looking out of an airplane. He grabbed the side of the tree and he held the edge. “Woah!” He quit looking down.
“Ohh shit!” Perry said as he came out behind Tony.
Jimi and Axl laughed, then bounded off on a branch towards another tree.
“Watch it man!” Jimi yelled back at them.
It was a wide branch, but none of the humans had ever been this high up in a
tree before. It was taller than being on the roof of Treetop Games, which was pretty scary. You fall here, you die.
L moved quickly, kind of tip toeing, kind of dancing. She had a strange
confidence. Tony followed carefully, keeping his center of gravity low. Perry followed with arms out wide, like Houdini on a tightrope.
They reached the other tree. 2 big ass gorillas guarded this entrance. They both
had thick chains slung over a shoulder. The guards didn’t bother any of them, even the humans. They entered the chamber in the top of the trees.
It wasn’t a big room, like a big living room. King was in there. Sitting on what
looked like a big ass bean bag chair made of leaves. A female gorilla was asleep in the leaf bean bag. There was a big King Kong movie poster on the wall above the bed. King made his way over and greeted them.
“You from other side of fence?” He asked.
“Yes.” A chorus answered.
“King Kong. I loved that movie.” Perry tried to be funny, motioning to the
poster.
King looked. “You know? We find in loud fire.” He got right to the point,”Why here?”
That was a good question. None of the humans had thought about that.
“Um.” Tony stuttered, possibly aloud.
“To destroy The Company.” Perry threw out.
That got King’s attention and he looked at Perry. “What?”
Perry wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad “What?”, but he was pretty sure the monkeys weren’t on Elohssa’s side. “We are warriors from the other side. We broke through the fence and are on a mission to steal a warstore and destroy the Elohssa Corporation headquarters.” L and Tony looked at each other, with as much disbelief as they could without giving away Perry’s cover.
King looked at the ground, his eyes darted back and forth, he was thinking. He let out a grunt. He looked up again. “How?”
Perry either had his story ready or was making it up as he went along, “That’s
top secret.”
King looked at Axl and Jimi, then back at the humans for a long moment. “We help.”
“Alriiight!” Perry said and nodded back and forth at Tony and L. He walked
out to King and tried to give him a handshake. That didn’t work, then Perry went for a fist bump, or something, that didn’t work either. He ended up doing some half assed awkward hug. King wondered what the human was doing.
King offered them a seat and food. He served them some of that strong monkey
juice they witnessed at the fight earlier and some beef jerky looking meat. The humans offered a cheers, King didn’t know what they were doing but figured it out and clanged his cup to theirs. They drank and ate beef jerky.
“This is the best beef jerky ever!” Perry said with a mouthful chewing it with a
big smile. “What kind is it?”
King didn’t think twice, “Human.”
L pulled the jerky in her mouth out and looked at it,”Ewww!”
Perry froze, his mouth mid chew, full of jerky. A bit of jerky leaned and fell out of his mouth,“Did you say... human?”
King looked at him,”Yes.”
Perry’s face stayed frozen, his mouth slowly turning into a grimace. “It’s soo good!” He threw a few more strips in his mouth and started chewing with a big smile again. “Mmmn. Human.” He said like Homer Simpson,”I gotta get your recipe.”
They talked for a while, drinking monkey juice. The humans learned that the primates had successfully raided a warstore. The 2nd one. The one the humans saw take out the fighter jets. They robbed it and got tons of food and technology. They had been digging tunnels and hollowing out trees for a long time before that. Now they had food to last almost forever and new technology. They were planning to take the fight to the Company. They called The Eholssa Corporation, “The Company.” Their main goal was to infiltrate the Company and free any primates trapped inside. They weren’t opposed to destroying the Company outright though, it would rid them of their problem.
“I show.” King said.
King turned and behind his leaf bean bag was a hole, the hollow trunk of a tree, this passage only went down. They descended, entered another underground hallway and walked for a while. Each time they passed a primate or monkey, they gave much respect to King. King gave the respect right back, he did seem like a good, well liked leader.
They reached an end of the hallway, King moved a big rock, exposing a hole and they climbed through. Now they were in a rock cave instead of underground dirt hallways. It was a small cave, around 50 feet long. They entered from the end of the cave, the mouth was at the other end. The mouth was blocked by big rocks piled to the top.
King went over to a corner where some wires led and said,”Light. New.” He
plugged something in and a small flood light lit up the wall.
On the wall was a cave painting. It was very detailed and big, the humans had
to take a step back to take it all in. After scanning it for a while, it was a painting of a plane crash. Burning parts scattered around, dead bodies everywhere, all human.
“Look.” L pointed to a corner of the painting, there was a drum kit, not fully
destroyed. She also pointed out a broken guitar.
“The dead bodies are wearing leather jackets and shit.” Perry noticed.
“And have long hair.” Tony added.
King looked over at Axl, a little confused.
They examined the painting more. The fuselage was in many pieces, the two
biggest pieces were the nose and the tail. Near the nose the letters “RO” were written, after the “O” was unreadable as the body of the plane was shredded. On the tail piece they could read the letters “NE!!”
Perry did his best game show host voice,“For 200 dollars folks. Starts with RO and ends in a NE. Double exclamation points at the end.” “What is this?” L asked King.
“Loud fire.” King explained,”We hear rumble. We go see. We find. The guitar. The drum. The bass. We learn.” He looked at them again and smiled,”We like the heavy metal.”
“Rock Plane.” L figured it out. “Remember? We almost went for Valentine’s
day. It’s like a booze bus, but in the sky and with rock bands. It sounded sweet.”
“Yea, yea I remember that.” Tony said, looking at the painting. “That does look
like the font they use.”
“Booze bus?” King thought out loud.
Perry was shaking his head,”Wait, wait. So some rock n roll booze bus airplane
crashed in the forest and these monkeys...”
Axl and King interrupted him,”Not monkey!”
“Ok ok, yea I forgot.” Perry looked over at the chimpanzee and gorilla. “You’re
not monkeys. These apes looted the crash site and fell in love with rock n roll.”
Perry looked back at Axl and King. Axl squinted and flashed devil horns at Perry.
“All apes and monkeys like.” King added.
“All?” Tony questioned. “Yea man,” Jimi replied,”All.” Then he did a little Bill and Ted air guitar shredding and flicked his tongue.
“Not all human like?” King asked.
“No not all human like. Barely any human like metal.” L said.
“Pussy ass humans.” Axl laughed. King laughed also, as much as a good host would laugh at a joke about the species of his guests. The humans nodded in agreement.
The Search for Ball Zero Page 15