We tried to get our lives back to a new normal that we could be comfortable with. One change for me was, I took on the additional chore of going and attending to the farm animals, and feed or, them twice a day. In the morning before I went to work at the store, then after work. I also increased my hours, seeking to help-out at the store more than I have in the past, since my darling sister Marym gave birth to the beautiful baby girl, a week ago. I needed to try covering for her as best I could. For the time being, I was to fill her shoes, though she was a much better seamstress then I could have dream of being.
Like much of Europe, we were all starting to grow distraught Hitler’s and his growing influence and power, and his power of persuasion on the masses. He had gotten away with a lot with less than the punishment we expected, marching and extending borders, and building up the largest military in all of Europe. If that was not dangerous enough, no one country seemed inclined to stop him. When they still had the chance to stop his land grabbing before he ramped up his war machine even more, they sat back. I’ve thought about this in all the intervening years, but I couldn’t work it out. I heard a lot about it daily.
Poppa and my new father-in-law debated this topic with all the other Jewish men, who would all congregate in the store. The store proved to be a gathering place, even more as this all had been developing. Though I was generally to be found in the backroom of the store, where we actually made the suits. I could still hear them all chatting. Especially when it would turn particularly heated; sometimes voices would pour out through the partially open door.
Poppa has grown to loathe Adolph Hitler - the danger of this man, and because of his new policies directed against Jewish population. The family’s big contract over in Germany was cancelled, even though Poppa had such big plans. This had cost him a lot of money that he had spent ramping up. I could see how this distressed him, the concerned in his face, but he tried his best not to fret the rest of us. When these hot-blooded Jewish men - Poppa’s friends - would get thunderous, Momma did her best to distract me.
“Sweetie just stop thinking about all of that – they’re all just blowing a bunch of hot air, it’s a bunch of hooey! However, one thing you should as well learn about men, this sort of thing is very therapeutic. Trust me I have been listening to this garbage for years, I do not even hear it anymore. I will tell you having your sister, and you, contact with other females to talk with while working has made it so much easier on me. I actually now look forward coming into work.”
“Thanks Momma!”
Then I began talking about certain fundamentals in marriage with Momma. I had been curious about a few issues - I wanted to be sure I was handling things right with Abram. As I have gotten older, I am finding it much easier to come to talk to her about personal topics - female issues I could never talk to Poppa about. I realized just how much she really knews, and how much more life she had the opportunity of living. I discovered I did not know nearly as much as I had thought - when I shared with her about what I was going through, she too had at some point in her own life experienced the same. I was surprised when I heard this. Momma was such a wonderful listener, and a thoughtfully sympathetic natured woman.
I ended up listening to all these men talk for months, usually on Wednesdays. Eventually I too stopped listening to their hot air, tuning them out. Sometimes I received a treat when out of the blue, Momma would start singing - she had such a pretty voice. When she was younger, she sang a lot. When I was little and could not get to sleep, she would soothe me with a lullaby.
Late September arrived, and lucky for us it was unseasonably warmer than usual. It was harvest time, Abram was in a real pickle, and needed all the assistance he could get to conduct a successful harvest. It was now mid-September and we had to bring in what surely was surely going to be the first of what I hoped to be successful bumper crops. But Abram had overextended himself. See it was not just our own crops that had to be harvested, he also had to harvest the farmer’s crops…first. We had to start before first light; he started at the farmer’s fields, I at our farm. Then the two of us worked every day until long past dark trying to not waste a single minute. My hands not use to this sort of physical demands being put on them. Because of all this manual labor, I had developed several blisters; I had one on each palm of my hands, and a combined of six of my fingers, that was not to mention the cuts. My muscles ached, but I was not about to complain. It would have help if we had a tractor, but we could not afford such luxury. When it was not looking so good, God bless him, Abram was so liked in the community; we had a few volunteers come help us out for a couple of days. Out of there kindness, they did as The Lord would expect of them - these people were as poor as we were, in turn we donated back ten percent of what they picked back to them, for helping us. To them that was as good as money. We also set aside enough of our crop to feed us - and our entire families including our in-laws, and my sister and her family - through the long cold difficult winter months that lay ahead of us. I hoped that gathering enough straw put away in the barn would provide for all our animals on our farm, and then what was left, we sold off a at the farmers market in Warsaw to fetch a better price. We managed to have a $400.00 profit - not including the seed-money for next year’s planting. We were sitting pretty well.
Once the crops were safely harvested for the year, we could finally take a small breather, in the evening. Abram was freed up with a bit more time on his hands. Other than training for his fights, and a couple hours a day working for the farmer, he was free. So he and a friend decided to distill vodka from potatoes he used his father’s recipe for the vodka. It was not long before the first batch was brewed. He was so dedicated - he was willing to do anything, to get us enough money to build our new home. He was a very bright and hard working guy. His mind was always racing.
Since the crops were harvested, I returned to work at the store. In my absence, work had piled up. One night after I was working late at the store - later than everyone else. Which was proving to be every night it would seem? I had to have a suit done by tomorrow. I came home around nine pm. I had been at the store since seven this morning. So here I was tired, just wanting to get a quick bite, and go to bed, but I unexpectedly found my living room was invaded, full of at least ten men, and as soon as I opened up the front door, I was blasted by an unexpectedly thick cloud of cigar smoke. Men I have known all my life, there was two particular men in the room I had no idea who exactly they were. I do not think that I cared -they too were smoking Poppa’s cigars, and drinking Abram’s latest batch of vodka. I walked through the front door, saying a few choice words under my breath.
“The men all said, “hi” to me, as I walked in through the front door.
Poppa saw me, came over, and hugged me, “My bear must be tired, I know how hard you worked today. I want you to know I love you. I know you’ll be going to bed soon, I’ll try and have them to keep it down.”
“Thanks Poppa, I love you too!”
I was faintly surprised to find that Abram still hadn’t greeted me properly. To get my husband’s attention, made me feel terrible. A bit of self-doubt set in, wondering if perhaps, if he was already growing tired of me, was I not attractive to him any longer? I wanted to make sure he saw I was home, by walking straight over to him, bending down, and then gave him one amazing kiss I sat in his lap, and then kissed him again right in front of all the men. Then, I whispered in his ear, hoping I was now getting his undivided attention.
“Don’t be too late - I would love to spend some quality time with you, alright dear?”
“Sure thing my love, I’ll be up in a while!”
And then I headed off to the kitchen, I felt uncomfortable long enough being the only woman out there, I had to get away from all that blasted smoke, and hot air, which was sucking the oxygen right out of the entire front room. Then to join all the women I had not anticipated to be finding situated there in the kitchen, bombarded me once more. All I really wanted was a quick bite to eat - I was
exhausted. But being the outsider in all this, I thought how it was funny how the men were all talking about politics, and then I found the women were talking about fashion, and about cooking. Now normally I might have been interested in such matters. But not that night - I was very tired. And then when I entered into the kitchen, all eyes turned on me once more. then I knew this question would be coming, one of my Momma friends asked me, “So Hana dear you’re looking positively radiant this evening; I can see marriage is treating you well, so tell us when are you going to be getting pregnant?”
I found I had walked into a hornets’ nest of pregnancy questions; all aimed at me. I just tried smiled politely back, it is always assumed once a woman marries, and then they should immediately get pregnant, and bear many children.
I wanted to scream, but rather, I kept my cool, and remembered my place. “Well hopefully soon Mom! My husband and I are trying” God if she only knew just how much the two us have been trying - I didn’t think it was humanly possible to be trying even more than we were.
Momma suddenly cleared her throat after I said this. It looked like she was trying to hold back the laughter. I knew exactly what she was thinking, but I knew that she would not dare mention my sex life with my husband in front of all these woman. Frankly, I thought it was none of their business. She knew how upset I would get if she did - she knew how sensitive I was, and also knew that I have a temper.
I tried to only stick around and talk for a while. I grabbed a bowl of chicken and vegetable soup, and a piece of bread, and then a glass of milk to wash it all down. Momma had dinner, so that at least wasn’t a worry, and then I headed up on to bed. I was tired, and wanted to eat in peace. I certainly would not be able to do that if I were to stay there. After I finished eating my tummy felt much better - I read a while to try to unwind from the long day.
Abram came to bed more than an hour later, I had long since fallen asleep reading but I woke up when I heard our bedroom door opening. It made a small creaking noise mostly when the door was opened up slowly. As I opened my eyes, I could tell instantly he appeared to be noticeably troubled about something weighing heavily on him, which was so unlike him. His face looked etched with worry. Like he had the entire weight of the world placed on his shoulders. Nevertheless, he was not planning to tell me. I knew him all too well; he never wanted to worry me, sometimes I appreciated this, other times it drove me batty. He tried to act as if nothing was the matter. He put on his fake smile when he realized I was still awake. He forgot that smile does not work with me. However, I just was not buying his act. I without doubt knew him better than that, and he certainly could not lie to me successfully, - if I asked, and especially if I gave him my special smile.
However, I knew a new way on how to get him talking; it only took me about ten minutes of the use of my female charms, laid on strong on him, to finally get him to open up to me. By this point, he was putty in my hands.
However shame on me, I would end up learning a valuable lesson on this night, that it is not always a good thing to know someone else’s secrets. In certain cases, keeping secrets can be a good thing. See my husband was actually trying to do a good thing, and protect me from some of the evils of the world. “What is it honey, did I do something to upset you?
“No, no not at all, Hana, you’re an angel to me!”
“Then I’m baffle, what is it then, why won’t you tell me what it is? You usually share everything!”
“Ok Hana, it came up in conversation tonight, do you remember those two strangers that were visiting here tonight?’
“Yes, of course I do they seemed polite enough, so what about them that has my husband so upset! I did not physically talk to them, or even catch their names.”
“Well, these two particular gentlemen arrived here from the Ryland - forced to flee their own country, when Hitler invaded their small town. They had lived there their entire lives - they both had flourishing businesses before the invasion. Their fathers both fought by the Germans in the big war. They say almost immediately after Hitler was successful at his occupation of their lands, a mighty Nazi propaganda machine went into place. Suddenly what they had thought were friends and neighbors that were non-Jewish suddenly began turning on them. Even though they had done absolutely nothing wrong, other than that they were Jewish, they were shocked! Then the Nazi’s puppet government enacted new laws that were directed against the Jewish population. These new laws would not permit Jews to own businesses, or even attend the universities. They established of just how much cash a family could hold. Their properties could be search at any time. Then certain establishments suddenly became off limits to all Jew’s. In addition, a curfew was enacted, when the Jews could be seen outside their homes. Hana, these two gentlemen said that they weren’t even paid anything for their losses – they got no compensation for their business. Eventually, one law after another, the Nazi’s stole their homes, and land outright from them, or they were homes were burned to the ground.
The Nazi’s were trying to convince the non-Jewish population that the Jews were to be blamed for all the ills of the country’s poor economy. Homes and businesses had graffiti painted on the doors. The worst part was a new discrimination law, forcing Jews to identify themselves whenever there in public. We had to start wearing an armband with the “Star of David” on it. If they were caught out in public without the armband, a Jew could be thrown in jail. Where they might end up being beat severely.
The guy’s said they were encouraged to leave the country outright, for a hefty sum of money - the Nazi’s expected them to pay for next year’s taxes, even though we were not going to be in the country.
One of the men said his family had live in the same town more than two-hundred years - his father was even the Mayor at the time of the Nazi incursion. They came up with some trumped up charges, and then they hung him in the town courtyard to make a point to the rest of the citizens. Recognizing the warning signs, they both fled here to Poland with their families, hoping to try to start over. They only able to escape, with what they could physically carry on their backs, which was not much.
Then there was even more discussions about the Jews currently living in Germany who have been treated even more horribly. Many have been fleeing to America, wanting to get out of Europe altogether. Hitler used propaganda as a successful tool to convince non-Jews to hate German Jews, as much to justify his agenda. And as a way to validate the callous treatment of all German Jews, in Nazi held territory.” He paused, and I could see that he was visibly struggling with this.
“Then, the men said they were able to escape before the Jews were being forcefully relocated to what the Germans were labeling as the new Jewish districts being set up.”
I have to confess I did not like what he was telling me - it was so horribly unbelievable that one group of humans could treat another group of humans this inhumanely, after all this was the twentieth century. I just could not believe such a thing could even be possible. Where was their humanity? I suddenly felt sick in the pit of my stomach, hearing such ghastly things,
“Abram, how could they be treating our people this badly? What had they done to deserve this? Why hasn’t someone stopped them?”
Suddenly, I couldn’t hold it in any more. I ran straight to the bathroom, and threw up in the toilet. I had been dreadfully sick like this every day for about a week, I thought it might be a touch of the flu, but deep down I really suspected I knew what it was, and told no one of my suspicion, I hid my sickness. I had to be sure before I mentioned it to anyone - especially to my husband. I did not want to get anyone’s hopes falsely up. I made an appointment to see our family doctor, the very same doctor that had delivered me. And he gave me the good news – news that I had suspected deep down. I was pregnant.
I could not hold in my secret any longer. I had to share with my husband, before anyone else found out. At the time, Abram was in town training hard at the boxing gym. He has a schedule fight against a German who is ranked second in hi
s country coming up in less than a month’s time.
It was perfect, I was setting up to bring him a nice lunch and surprise him, and from the doctor’s office, to the gym was not more than two blocks for me to walk. I was on cloud nine upon finding out this fantastic news - it was just sinking in that I was going to be a parent. It was now November, and quite cold, it felt more of winter than early fall. Especially when you consider there was a new fresh dusting of snow on the ground, a dry snow. Nevertheless, on this particular day it was gorgeous out. The sunray’s bright enough to be glistening back off the ice. I was in such high spirits I do not even remember the walk from the doctor’s office to the gym.
When I did arrived at the gym, it smelled like a sweaty towel. Even though I was quiet coming in through the gym’s front door, all the men promptly looked up from their own training, and glanced over towards me, and they smiled seeing me. A smidge desperate to locate my husband at this point, I did not like all these men’s hungry eyes so focused on me. I was relieved when I had spotted him working out hard on the speed bag, in the back corner of the gym. He had not seen me just yet - he was in his own zone, training quite hard. Oh he looked so good, his shirt off. His muscles were positively rippling. I would have to say that he was in the best shape in his life. He had his white boxing trunks on. His punches were powerful, sweat dripped from his forehead. He was so good at what he did. Though I just could not bear watching him one of his fights – I couldn’t watch him getting hurt by another man. Before my thoughts drifted too much on other matters, I could not forget why it was I was here in the first place. I had an exciting mission…
War Torn Love Page 15