I gazed around as we began moved out, soldiers were surrounding us with machine guns all pointed directly at us - escaping would be a sure death sentence. It turned out to be about a three-mile walk back to the waiting road. A road we had been purposely avoiding for days. Once we arrived at the gravel road, there were waiting transport trucks, Parked in rows. Once on the road, we were lined up, and then brutally separated - men in one direction, and women in another.
And then we were loaded onto the back of the trucks. One of the soldier’s, butt of their guns hit me. “Hurry it up! You’re too slow!” He yelled at me.
He had struck me in the mid of my back, right between my shoulder blade. By I was trying to get up in the truck with Abiela in my arms, making it quite difficult. If I had not handed up Abiela to my cousin who was already loaded up, I would had surely dropped my daughter. Anyone of us getting onto the truck too slowly was shot in back of the head. I had heard a shot coming from the truck up ahead. We all did our best to help one another get up in the bed of the truck. We were supposed to act as if it had not even happened. There was no measure of humanity or mercy shown towards any of us, there was pure hatred in all their eyes. We were being treated like nothing more than a herd of animals rather than humans. Two soldiers climbed in the back of each of the trucks and quickly then pointed their guns directly at us, as if we were not scared bad enough. As we drove off, the last of my freedom was taken away from me. I wanted nothing more than my husband to hold me, not live in fear ever again. I looked around I did not even know from which truck he may had been loaded up in, it scared me. I had never been forcefully separated from him before. We traveled in the cold through the night. Where we were driven to a train station.
Then the soldiers said, “Get down, schnell, schnell!”
We were marched over to a waiting railroad, where there was thousands of other Jews probably being taken to the same place. Our group was united once more. We were loaded onto a boxcar, I saw Abram, and Poppa once more, I felt so relieved. By the time, they loaded us, and maybe twenty others into the car I was in, it was quite cramped, barely more than standing room. We were not supplied any food, or a place to got the bathroom. Once those doors had finally shut to the car, we finally felt it was safe to talk to one another, once more. Abram came to me and swept me up in his arms!
Chapter Sixteen
“Tuliszkow”
The Germans did not seem to know what else to do with the immense Jewish population situated throughout Poland, and for the reason that my family, and the people with us were Jewish were sent to settle in a camp. No, the Nazis just could not simply let us go - I thought the Nazis liked setting examples. Seeing just how close to the border we presently were, they could have let us cross over the border, and we would be out of their hair, all together. The German solution however was transporting us and the others captured with us to “Tuliszkow.” A brand new Ghetto. It was set up exclusively to deal with the Jewish population. Out of sight out of mind, I think was their philosophy. Or at least, I hoped.
We were all loaded up, overloaded into the boxcar – I think we were about five boxcars down from the engine. We were locked up tightly in the very overcrowded, confining boxcar, the whole thing, sticking of human excrement, and sweat smells, filled with none moving air having nowhere else to go but linger around inside this boxcar like a thick cloud of smoke from a fire, on a cold winter day. All this was mixed in with the smell of fear. I discovered that in one corner of the boxcar a crude, small hole had been cut – and that we had to use that as our lavatory. I t wasn’t big enough to escape from and was soon lined with all manner of unspeakable detritus.
For two days, we endured the horrible smells. Which only mounting to be most awful smells as an hour turned in to a day, then two. There just was not an adequate amount of room for any of us to be lying down, but rather we were being forced to sit on our butts, leaning precariously back to back for support.
Voicing my concerns, I told Abram, “No human should be treated like his. There is not even a window to look out.” This made the ride odd, as the car rolled back and forth, and the constant clang of the wheels rolling over the tracks.”
Abeila's cough was not letting up; sounded very fluidly, quite congested. The poor dear also had a mild- fever. She looked quite pale, not her usual color. Not acting like her normal playful self. She needed water in the worst way, but the German’s could not be bothered with such mundane things as keeping some Jews alive. All I could do for her was to breast-feed her. However, without access to food and water for myself, I would not be able to keep it up.
Abram held onto her the whole time. He did not want to let her go. I had never seen him so concerned about anything as he was towards his precious little daughter. He sat up all night with her he wanted me to sleep. I watched on as - with a lovely compassion his hand gently and slowly through her hair. He would softly sing to her, tell her stories to keep her entertained. She listened to what her Daddy was saying. She looked up at him with interest. I know in her own young way, that she appreciated what it was that her Daddy was doing. Nevertheless, the attention from her father was helping her remain tranquil, less unsettled. Sleeping the majority of the time was almost certainly best for her. I just wished I could break her fever. Until this happened, she would not improve.
On our second day, our assemblage as a whole lost a dear sweet child, who could not had been more than eight years old. The poor girl - so pretty had been burning up with fever for the last three days, so out of her mind, she was mumbling gibberish - her body was practically limp before even coming aboard the train. She had to be close to death by then most likely by that time she was too far-gone, but we had hoped she would pull through. I know she had not eaten, or drank anything in days; her body had been shutting down, she must had suffered. Her right side had been extremely sore. We think it was a ruptured appendix; she could had probably been saved if she was in a hospital at the time, where they could had removed the appendix, so when it ended up rupturing, and infection quickly set in. There was nowhere to put her little body, her mother held onto her girl morning her, and cried. My heart was broken listening to her mother’s emotional wails it reminded me of what my own sister went through, with the recent loss of her daughter, if anyone understood such pain it was her. Marym went and sat with her. They both talked, cried.
Between the awful smells, no access to drinking water, and the utter lack of food, and being trapped in the cramped quarters, I was getting somewhat claustrophobic. It felt of though the walls were slowly crashing in on me. My nerves were nearly shot. Not having much sleep in at least three days, I had not eaten. I did not think I could take another minute aboard that train. My legs were cramping up so badly. I really needed to stretch. About all I could do was occasionally rubbing the muscles in my legs.
I knew better, I did not dare grumble to anyone aloud, we were all in the same boat, all suffering. Marym had it much worse than I. With the loss of her child, I could only imagine how painful that must be on her, I know it is taking a horrible toll on her, and her husband.
I think to find strength through the darkness that now seems to be enveloping my people. We all were doing quite a bit of praying collectively, turning to “God, our God.” The Rabbi was amongst us, and leading us all in prayer. He read to us from the Torah. The words of our God lent a hand soothing me spiritually, calming me. I realized that no matter what the Germans did to us, they certainly could not take my faith from me, or any of us. As long as there is air in my lungs, I will praise – and that was a vow I made that day. Our God see’s the strength in my people, maybe when we did not. We shall somehow overcome this, now I had no idea how. But I know our prayers shall be answered.
Rabbi spoke loudly we the flock was silent. "I remind all of you that we are the children of “Israel,” and of Abraham - hat no matter how dark of times we may now be facing up ahead, how bleak it may become, each one of us needs to keep in mind never to give up. Look after our
brother and sisters. Just like “Mosses” leading his people out of bondage, my children, we shall too be led out of oppression. Never question your conviction to faith! Do not let the Nazis be triumphant! You own your faith - the Nazis cannot take that from any of us, unless you allow them or you let the evil in. Others have tried through the history of our people, and have never been triumphant, because our faith has remained so strong."
Finally, to all of our relief I could sense the train starting to slow down. Which meant a couple of different things - they were once again, were either taking on water for the engine or taking on more prisoners. Or conceivably we finally arrived at our destination - wherever that was.
Cheers reverberated throughout the boxcar thinking the latter - thinking something good was going to come of this. That was right up until the realization of what maybe further ahead all of us finally struck, once we our hopefully let out. It was possible that these Nazi's were capable of doing just about anything. God did not seem to be present in any of their hearts. People were now peeking through the gaps in-between the boards, full of wary, painful curiously.
The whistles of the steam engine train were bellowing vociferously, signaling our impending arrival. The screech of the brakes being slammed on, the sound of metal, on metal. The train had come to a standstill, jerking one final time as it halted.
About a minute after to the train stopped moving, there was a still, almost eerie silence. We all stood, whispering quietly trying to figure out what was happening. We could hear the shouts in German. A feeling of fright overtook me. I grabbed hold of Abram’s hand, needing him to console me. I was afraid we would be finding out quickly, the lock was being unbolted - all of a sudden, the large doors flung on open.
The sunshine brightness instantaneously billowed in through the door opening; my eyes had to adjust to such powerful amount of light. I experienced temporarily blindness - I held my right hand over my eyes, shielding them from the dazzling sunlight. The only light we had seen in two days was the illumination that filtered in through the gaps in-between the wood boards. And the two candles the Rabbi had with him so he could read to all of us.
The fresh air rushed in, it was incredibly nice to be finally smelled something refreshing. The foul air hurried out, and was being replaced with less-pollutants.
Once again, there was brutally, fiercely trained soldiers demonstrating their power over us, pointing their machine guns at us and yelling incomprehensibly. The Germans had so entirely made their presence known nearly everywhere in just months - as if this was their own country. It was quite clear - we were unmistakably overpowered, outgunned and considered deficient.
The Jewish population with me harbored no weapons to speak of - the soldiers that captured us made sure of this fact. This gave the Nazis the false sense that they truly were superior over the population of the country they illegally occupied.
Communicating in German, they ordered us to disembark from our train car. You do not have to comprehend much of the German language to know what exactly they wanted. One thing about the Nazis I shall never forget is their cold lifeless eyes – evil, calculating, completely soulless. From what I had observed thus far about them, was that they all acted, as one with no autonomous thought. I also felt the presences of wickedness. Hitler boldly and proudly claimed that they were the superior race - a superior race would not be treating others like this, because being superior is not just being stronger, but it is about also being just, and showing compassion.
As we were waiting our turns to unload, inquisitiveness once again was flourishing; I turned and asked, Abram who was position right beside me, to my right, holding my left hand, "Sweetie, where do you think we are right now, it does not look so familiar. Do you think we are still inside Poland? Oh my! You don’t think they took us back to Germany do you?”
I was watching in-between the people that were ahead of me. Since I was small, I had to peer between, not over – so it was rather on the difficult side to see anything. From what I could perceive, there was an elderly couple from our boxcar, who were attempting to unload. I got the impression that they were having a difficult time getting down out of the boxcar - the height of the floor of the boxcar sat much too far above the ground for them to lower themselves down from their position safely - they were both weak from tremendous hunger. When they were too slow, the soldiers became angry – they were, not able to get down, I could clearly hear them asking for help. The soldiers walked over, the poor women thought he was going to show her kindness. Rather he grabbed hold of them, throwing them both off the boxcar. They ended up down face first into the cold mud below, beside the train tracks.
“We all gasped!”
Then if they had not been humiliated enough by this, the soldiers laughed at the expense of the poor souls. As they lay there face down in the mud, a soldier held his foot onto the wife’s poor head. As her husband lay there in the mud - helpless and surely in pain - he cried for his wife. After about a minute, the soldier let her up, but was not done with her just as of yet he then spat directly in her face. We knew that if anyone of us were to had gone and helped the poor old woman out of the mud, then that person would had likely been shot for their efforts. Then when we thought it was all over, the husband rose to his feet. He made it to his wife - put his hand to pull her up. The soldier saw this, and suddenly aimed his machine gun at the old man and fired - he fell backwards into the mud, dead. His wife screamed out.
“Shut up you, you hear me, or I shall shoot you too!” The soldier yelled out.
We all heard the soldier yelling at her, we feared for her, "Fraulein get up, schnell, go get in line."
Immediately turning attention back on the rest of us, "schnell, schnell!"
We all did our best to get down as fast as possible we did as the Rabbi had reminded us. To help our brother and sisters out getting each other down, even at the menace of bringing harm from whims of the soldiers watching. We did not want to lose anyone else. Providing these soldiers cheap entertainment at the expense of my own people life was something we wanted to avoid, so we were careful, biddable, and as efficient as possible.
But suddenly my attention had shifted from the ghastly soldier to my own husband - I saw that look in Abram’s eyes, he was extremely angered. I knew what he was considering doing, the way he was clinching his mighty fists, I knew what he wanted to do, what he was thinking. Abram hopped down first. Thinking quickly to prevent him from taking such an action, I went ahead and handed him the baby, trying partly to keep him full of activity until I had an opportunity to cut him off. I hopped down, he wasted no time, handing me back our daughter. So he could continue with his plan.
I then hurriedly lashed out and grabbed hold of his hand. Getting his attention, I looked into his eyes, “No Abram you must not - what will it solve if you do, other than getting you killed? Our daughter will grow up without a father to love and nurture her. I will be made a widow, is that what you truly want for your family? I know how powerful of a man you are - maybe the best boxer in the entire world, if it had been for the Nazis you would had a chance to prove it – and one day you will, you wait and see. But please sweetie! Think about it, you have a well-trained fist, they had guns! I love you dear, please for me, do not do this, I love you so much, and I know you love me. Do not do this now. I am sorry to be asking you this, trust me - your time will come, but not at the moment, think about what you are considering doing.”
He took a deep breath, looked away a moment in the direction of the armed soldier, the precise one that pushed the old man and woman down. He then turned back to me, unclenched his fists.
“You’re right Hana, I know it’s tough! God please give me the strength and power I shall need to control my temper. Help me find a way to use my strength for the safety of my family.” He paused, and then said. “I love you Hana, thank you for setting me right, your right I would had gone in blindly! Don’t worry sweetie, with The God and you on my side I could do this.” He smiled, a
nd began looking around – seeing if he could others.
He then turned away. I knew he was a man of his word. He began serving, as his God would expect of us. He helped others at getting down from the boxcar, an opportunity for him to put his strength to good work.
My attention was pulled away, not by choice because a soldier ordered me to move on. I turned and headed over to the line that was being formed - all the Jews unloading from the train. had I to pure aside the fact that I was concerned about my husband - I was so proud of him, for not using of violence, in this particular matter. I knew just how tough this was on him. Also for standing up, and helping the others down. I glanced down at the other railroad cars being unloaded with even more Jewish people from around the country as confused as us I was sure. I imagined the soldiers had pushed others down face first into the mud - it had been a sickening spectacle to witness the destruction of a common respect of our fellow man firsthand, and to my people. I could see three individuals lying dead in the mud.
War Torn Love Page 27