Through the half open door, my brother-in-law stopped working, and then overheard the loudest part of their one-sided conversation. It was hard not to, as loud as the Nazi officer was yelling. I do not think that they cared if he were over heard.
When our leader had disagreed with the German officer over this relocation process, and the sheer numbers he was being asked to ship out, he was shouted down. Despite the fact, he is trying his darnedest, with what little power he still possessed to keep this from happening to our people. It would seem he was not going to just roll over without a fight.
My brother-in-law reckoned the explanation was he was willing to fight this from at all happening, and be willing to step up the production quotas to stave it all off. It was an act of a desperate man. I think that he knew the truth behind this - he was truly scared for all of us; it was something that he did not take lightly. He had great responsibility weighing down on his shoulders. He knew the risk if he dared speaking up to a Nazi officer. He did not like having such large numbers of his people sent away, at least here, even though state of affairs in the Ghetto were so deplorable he could help his people out to an extent - truthfully if it were not for him, I believe things would have been much worse. He had been keeping the Nazis at bay to a point. Now though, it seemed that line in the sand had been crossed, and washed up in the tide following behind.
Generating new list of people, weighed heavy on him, more than anyone could know. Since he was put in charge of the Ghetto, his health was spiraling downward. He did not like to be the one deciding the fate of those who should be the one going next, and who should stay for now – he knew he was deciding the fate of so many. It was bad enough he was forced to watch his people starve, without being able to help them. And I think he knew he was signing death warrants. No one heard from those that left.
What he did next was out of character even for him. In fact, it ended up doing on all our behalf did quickly go utterly wrong, he was clearly left with no alternative, backed into a corner. He showed his hand and unfortunately, it ended up getting him in troubles with the Nazis. His relationship with them had been a balancing act. For the first time since being appointed in charge she challenged them - up until now he’s been for the most part been playing along, and at times enjoying his power a bit too much, so than what on this particular day made him take a chance of losing everything. Well let us just say, the outcome sadly did not go over so well with the Nazi commander. Suddenly he fell out of favor quickly. The officer would not take being spoken to like this, by a filthy Jew! To the Nazi officer, he was no better than any other Jew!
The officer was livid, and the very next day after the officer had him and his entire family rounded up, beaten out in the main square so we could all observe this punishment. Then he was sent off that very day, and then the Nazi officer quickly appointed someone else to sign over our lives, someone else that was going to do exactly as he had been asked. They would, they knew what would happen if they did not go along. The same thing would happen to him and those he loved.
So, when our notification was slipped under the front door, it had come as no real surprise to any of us - we had previously discussed this matter at some length, knowing it was going to happen at our last family gathering, as soon as we found out this was going on. In fact, we had heard the notifications were now being sent out all over the Ghetto. We had all been discussing were it was that they were transport us all, the rumor mills is spinning out all kind of weird wild ideas. One of the most likely ones going around the Ghetto, was that we were all being sent to some labor-camp probably deep inside the Soviet Union. There was another rumor that they were death-camps that we were all being sent to - or they were turning us into soldiers to fight their war, having us fight on the front lines.
I recalled previously dreaming about these unfolding events. Those nightmarish dreams from years ago I had experienced before Abeila was born, I felt were actually all now coming true, like it was a angel that had come to me, to warn me of perilous things to come. It was all playing out like the dreams.
If one thing was apparent – we were being sent away. We were being sent somewhere where no one heard of us again, and after our treatment here, that could only mean worse times ahead. People whispered of something called ‘the final solution’ – that they’d overheard soldiers discussing it. We hoped that final solution was to live in peace, somewhere – but clearly, we were not to be a part of his Europe he had envisioned ruling.
As soon as that notification had arrived at our door, I got a horrible sick feeling in the lowest pits of my stomach, like morning sickness but much worse, my stomach was twisted all in tight knots.
Recalling that night I told Momma of my dreams, I remembered what she had said to me, but I just did not think that she could have possibly envisioned something as horrible as this; I would have to wonder if she would have given me the same advice now knowing what we now know.
I then turned to Abram for some comfort through this and maybe answers, “Honey do you think we are going to be ok? Where is it they will be taking us?”
He paused, a second, “Ya, darling it’s just probably a work-camp is all! Not much different than this place.” Humoring me, he threw in, “Well probably even get more food when we get here perhaps it will be a large farm – imagine, being back on a farm dear Hana.”
I could tell just by the expression on his face and his current body language that he did not believe what he was saying - I sensed he was holding back something. But he did not want me to worry over it, just as he knew I surely would be. I usually get obsessive about such things, and tend to not let things go, as I almost certainly should. He was the levelheaded one between the two of us - he was sweet that way! He thought it was his self-imposed job to try to shield me from the perils of the world, but no matter how much he wanted to, I still saw. He could not completely keep the world away from me, especially not these days.
He knew I was a strong, independent, very opinionated woman, sometime much too opinionated for some - luckily for me, my husband never judged me. Still that being said, with him, I did not mind, because I knew his intentions were good - he had the heart of gold. He just hated seeing me in pain. There was a real part of me thankful that he did, I sometimes forget what a wonderful man I had.”
“Thank you!” I kissed his hand, and laid my head on his chest. He then put his arms around me, and lovingly held onto me, neither of us saying anything. We both comforted one another through our other senses.
Though he would never confess to it, or even show it - but once in a blue moon, there was a small crack in his armor exposed. But he needed me as much as I needed him, we drew much of our strength from one another – it was, always that way, and I hoped it would remain that way.
We decided to go get some privacy. The two of us wanted to get away from the rest of the family. For a while, I needed some air in the worst way, and let’s just say for the sake of or marriage, I think any adult could figure out what it was I was referring. Relieved to finally be alone with him.
We both headed up to the roof, since we knew, thanks to the notice that this would be our last time, and in all likelihood there would be no one else up there at the moment, with as cold as it was currently outside. I gave him a wink, to give him a subtle clue what I was thinking! The roof was about one of the only places, we could go to still be alone, in this impossible world - just the two of us to had an opportunity to be all alone once more. It could prove quite tough on all of us having others around, all the time. So on these very rarest times we valued it greatly, if we had a chance to sneak off, then we were going to take it!
Hand and hand we went up to the roof almost every evening if we had an opportunity. We disciplined ourselves to make the time – not just make it, but make it count. It was so pleasant not to be competing with anyone else for my husband’s attention, or even for a little space. I had my husband all to myself, like in our old lives, when we would take a walk in the eveni
ng.
My gosh, he was looking so handsome. I could simply eat him all up - tonight he was to become my yummy desert. We knew that this was our last night together here and this had become our special spot.
Probably our last to be alone in a very long time, having no idea about this new place we were going. Thinking ahead before our romantic interlude, I had brought a thick blanket up to the roof with us, to stave off some of the wintry chill. It was a clear, quite beautiful night - the stars were shining brightly, painting an amazing silhouette, on the otherwise nearly full moon brightening the canvass they lay against.
I was not just following him up to the roof to just talk, or perhaps just look up at the stars, he knew all too well, what I was up to, he always could sense when I desired him in ways that could take care of the flame he had created in the first place. Burning hotly inside of my body, my senses were all alive. Burning so powerfully, my desires were elevating with every step closer we drew to the roof - the thought of having him made me tingle. I was assigning him an important mission I needed to be fulfilled, and only it was he that could take care of my very special needed. I had been thinking about this all day. On the way up, he grabbed my ass and firmly squeezed it!
Ever since I had gotten married to Abram, I learned how making love to my husband, was a real stress reliever. Sex was like a very powerful drug that made me fill so incredibly good for a long time afterwards, in a way I never even thought that was even possible. The way he would fill me up with all his manhood was quite impressive. I would have never imagined lovemaking could have felt this incredible, it was a feeling I possibly could not begin to describe in words.
Then of course, my wandering mind had gotten the better of me. I certainly did not mean to be thinking of this at this particular moment, not when we were in the thralls of love making, but that is the way my wacky mind works at times, generally at the most inopportune times. I was unable to dismiss it. I think it had to do with the fact I was becoming deathly worried about what was going to become of us all after tomorrow rolled around. Where was it that we were going to be taken away to? I wondered would they be taking us from the country from which I was born, and raised, the land I held so dear.
With Poppa now babysitting his granddaughter, It gave her Daddy and mommy both an opportunity to be all alone. I had to snap myself out of my sudden funk, as I had allowed those darker thoughts to creep in. Trying to remember where I was, certainly not wanting to spoil the moment. Of course, as my husband was gently nibbling my ear the way I loved. He was not playing fair; he knew this was the way to drive me wild and it was working.
It was very cold out on the roof, so if we were going to make love, we would had to not beat around the bush, no time for the normal prequel of our general foreplay I would normally have a preference to actually doing, I sometimes thought that this was the best part. I usually made him work for it.
Mommas taught me, she would say, “never give the milk away for free. A woman has to do what a woman has had to do. That is her greatest power, their hold over their husband. The man will appreciate it a whole lot more if they have to work for it, it is like a game, but a whole lot more exciting. Sometimes it is our greatest asset”
I really did not need him to get me in the mood certainly not on this night, since I was already all hot and bothered down there. Just seeing how handsome he was looking. Well before ever coming up here to the roof with him, it was clear to me, upon seeing his manhood I was much more in the mood than he obvious was, but I was confident that it would not take me much to get him in a state I needed him to be in.
There would be no way that I was going to take my clothing off in this cold - it was even chiller than I had anticipated out here.
There was a little wall that rose up about three feet in the middle of the massive main roof. There was another small roof. We were away from the dangerous outer edge where we could had easily fallen off - so no one would see us we backed away from the edge. Hearing us was a completely different story; well me up here I did not really care if anyone down below us here our goings on. I surely was not going to hold myself back just because of they might hear what were up too. I hoped to be able to sing out in pure ecstasy! See if he was able to do that to me. Then I certainly would have a smile on my face later on, I know I would be glowing afterwards.
I signaled that I was ready for him, in a submissive, playful sort of way. When it came to love making that is the way I preferred, though my darling husband usually had to be coached along, maybe after years of marriage I would no longer have to do this. But then according to Momma and Marym, and even some of my other married friends they all seem to claim that is the way it is with their men, and men in general, they know nothing about women, they needed to be coached, and trained, they were all alike, “bulls in a china shop.” Nevertheless, they told me not to give up, be patient with them, because it will pay off, in unbelievable unexpected ways. As a lover, I had to say Abram had come along way, from our first time, but then so had I, I guess. We both had been so nervous on our first time. I had to teach him to slow down, or it would be over before it ever had a chance to get started.
With his powerful arms, Abram lifted me completely up off my feet. Placing my but down on the blanket on the upper roof, my feet dangling over the side, unable to quite touch my feet on the roof below. I pulled up my dress up to be more accommodating, as he then lowered his pants, and at that time, I wrapped my legs around him. I worked at getting him prepared, as I was - with it this cold, I did not dare fritter away time, who knows how long it would take him to be ready without a little hand. I then pulled him into my waiting body, with my legs. We gazed into each other’s eyes, his big blue eyes shone, as the bright; nearly full moon was at his back. Our lips were locked - I could feel the passion coming out in both our kisses. The sort of kisses that made you tingle, and curls your toes. I had to pull away once in awhile to come up for air, otherwise he would have just kept going. With the moon and the stars, in the backdrop, across the night sky, after I had laid the groundwork, he then proceeded to wildly make love to me, and my passions sang out loudly. As a result of the tenderness he showed towards me, I felt so good, it was as if I was trying to calling out to the moon, like a wolf would. He felt so, so good. I brought his hand under my dress, guided his large hands to my breasts, as he was inside me.
The one time I was thankful he was so fast to finish. We did not stay up on the roof too long afterwards however, due to the extreme cold. The wind had suddenly picked up - drastically dropping the temperature. Blowing at Abram’s back and now blowing pasted him, and directly on my bare bottom now exposed to the wind, and I was now freezing, I had goose bumps all over.
If then I only had a small inkling that this could very easily be our last time to be together with my husband - to feel my husband some more. To spend time with him, whether we were making love or not. We didn’t know though – he had said ‘farm’, and in my heart, I’d hoped he was right. Neither of us wanted to go down. We did not go down to the apartment straight away - I was surprised when he stopped me just on the inside of the door that led to the roof. Before I knew, it, he began having his way with me again. We began kissing, I was tingling all over, he was such an amazing lover, he had to had me one more time just inside the doorway, where the cold was away from us, and we still were alone, except I would had to contain myself, or we would surely draw a crowd. Oh my, he did not hold back so this made it quite difficult. However, there was one thing he went out of his way to make sure I had been satisfied this time.
When we walking in through the front door of the apartment we would discover the whole place was completely filled with amazing smells - familiar, yet so foreign to me. My taste buds perked up almost immediately; since it had been at least three years since the last time, I had enough to eat to fully satisfy me. I had eaten awful lot imaginary meals over this time. Sometimes that is all we had.
I said, “Wow does it smell fantastic in here Marym! Wh
at have you all been up to? More importantly where did you get your hands on the ingredients to concoct such a dish?”
Poppa saw us and out of character for him, lit all up, smiling from ear to ear - boy was he glad to see us arriving; he was visibly in good spirits for the first time since the passing of Momma. Not in three years had I seen him acting like this. Of course the loss of her, had completely transformed his character, he not been the same ever since. They were so much in love. He had been so dependent on her, had been in disarray ever since. The life in him just seem to had left him in so many ways. Marym and I had done our best to fill some of the void he had been experiencing. When he spoke, he just did not had the same sort of confidence in his voice as he once did.
War Torn Love Page 32