Or it just proves it hurts, and your fight or flight instincts are intact.
"Please get to your knees."
He held my arm as I slowly sank to the ground. I was already wrapping myself in the veil, but I had to make sure I remained somewhat aware of what was happening around me.
"Now cross your arms in front of your chest, and put your forehead to the floor." He waited for me to obey, and then added, "This is the position you will be in every day when you come in here. Understand?"
I brought my fear to the surface, making my voice quiver. "Yes."
"You will need to remain in this position throughout the cleansing. If you move or cry out, you will be beaten. It's not a punishment, however. It's to help you begin to accept the cleansing. The pain will help push the delohi-saqu out of your mind. Do you understand this?"
I nodded and sniffled, though no tears were in my eyes. I needed them to believe I was crying. It would likely be the truth soon anyway. Hiding my mind in the shadow world masked the pain from my consciousness, but my body still produced a physical response. As I considered the process of detaching myself from the experience, it occurred to me I would be unable to force the kind of reaction they might expect. If I didn’t move, it would surely cause suspicion. My mind searched frantically through my options. Should I wait until after the initial prod? I wouldn’t be able to keep still, so my natural response would lead to a beating. Would I have the time to hide my mind before the main torture began?
The guard barely gave me time to plan. He pressed the prod into my thigh, sending a sharp pain through my leg. It was like a static shock, only much more powerful. I screamed, my leg spasming painfully as I fell to the floor. I knew then I couldn’t endure such pain. It was too intense. But before I could react, or consider escape into the shadow world, the beating began. I curled up, covering my head with my hands as the baton came down on me at a relentless pace.
The shorter prod sent shocks to my system, which were far worse than the longer weapon. It took the torture to a whole new level and, though I screamed and begged for him to stop, he didn't. Instead he jabbed the prod into my lower back, sending pulses of electricity throughout my body. I’m not sure how long this went on before my body stopped moving. My throat was raw, so I could no longer make a sound of protest. I was exhausted.
One of the guides grabbed me under the arms and dragged me to the center of the room. It took both of them to return me to my original position.
"Do not move," my interrogator said, then began the torture again.
It was harder to hide in the shadow world now my mind was numb with shock. I regretted my hesitation at the start, and didn’t make the same mistake twice. I wrapped the veil around me and detached myself from the pain before I felt the next shock. Still, my body reacted to the stimuli, and they beat me again. I lost count of how many times it happened before I stopped moving completely. I allowed myself to float in my bliss only until they began to pull me to my feet. I scanned my arms and legs as I stood, surprised to find there was no bruising.
The guide gently wiped the tears from my eyes. "You've done extremely well for your first cleansing, Silvie. You will be taken to your new room and allowed to rest. Then you will be fed. I will see you again tomorrow."
That wasn’t going to happen, but I didn’t say so. I would find a way to get to Jade and escape by the time my next session came around. The thought of Jade enduring such torture made me sick to the stomach. Unlike me, she could not escape the pain, and she had been a prisoner for almost two weeks. My only hope was that she was fit enough to travel. She could be seriously injured and Kado hadn’t yet taught me to heal. I wasn't even sure I had the ability.
This time I was taken to another room. It could have been an office at one time, though the furniture had been cleared. The light fixtures were missing, which meant I was condemned to darkness once more. Leaning against one of the walls, I sank to the floor and allowed my mind to return to full consciousness. I instantly wished I hadn't. My body might not have shown any physical sign of bruising, but I hurt all over. I thought of Jade again, and how fortunate I was to have escaped at least some of the torture. I refused to call it a cleansing.
I was expected to sleep, which gave me a few hours before anyone would return to the room. It was an ideal time to search for Jade, allowing me the remainder of the afternoon to plan our escape. It didn't take long to find her. Having practiced with the animals, I was getting better at finding people in the shadow world.
The sound of my door bursting open brought me back to reality with a slap.
"Stand with your arms held out in front of you." It was a soldier dressed in a similar uniform as the one who had captured me.
I obeyed the order. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Do not speak, girl."
I was in trouble. I considered disappearing into the shadow world as he put a pair of those cuffs on me. This time the bars dug more painfully into my wrists, causing my hand to clench involuntarily. He gripped my arm tightly and half dragged me to one of the makeshift interrogation rooms. A different guide awaited me, accompanied by a man who resembled a doctor. Though I wasn’t under any illusion it was a genuine role.
I was strapped to the table, and the doctor jabbed something into my thigh. I cried out, my head swimming as it became harder and harder to focus on a particular thought.
"Now, girl. It seems you've lied to us about who you are. Silvie Lask died on Seajewel Isle a month ago."
Tears filled my eyes and my throat clenched. Poor Silvie. She was such a sweet girl.
"What is your real name?"
I opened my mouth, but the words lodged in my throat. For some reason, I felt compelled to tell them everything, who I was, what I was planning—all of it. I clung to the small part of my consciousness that rebelled at the idea, struggling for a way to escape. I needed to get into the shadow world, though I couldn’t remember how. I couldn’t think past the burning desire to confess.
The doctor nodded to the guide, who stepped forward with a prod in one hand. He jabbed it into my side and, since I couldn’t move, there was no way to avoid the pain. Instead of a quick, sharp shock, the weapon delivered a steady current to my system. I screamed as my muscles began to spasm.
"What is your name?"
I closed my eyes, tightening my mouth into a hard line to prevent the treacherous words from passing my lips. I reached desperately for the veil, knowing if I didn't escape soon, I would confess all. Another jab had me crying out, the jolt scrambling my thoughts.
"What is your name, girl?"
There it was. The veil. I clutched at it like a lifeline, closing my mind inside as they continued their torture. It seemed like an eternity before they pulled back, my interrogator declaring me catatonic. My heart beat wildly in my chest when I caught the rest of their conversation. They were sending me to Nadiria, to one of the other reconciliation centers who were better equipped to deal with me.
Chapter 4
They cuffed me for the trip, covering my head with a black canvas sack. Once I was positioned in the vehicle, they bound my legs too. I don’t remember much of the journey. I drifted in and out of consciousness, unable to find the veil. My captors had injected me again before I left, so I could only assume they planned to keep me drugged.
During my lucid moments I thought of Jade, wondering what would happen to her now, consumed with guilt because I had failed her. By contrast I was getting exactly what I wanted. I was headed to Nadiria, giving me an opportunity to find my father. I clung to the hope that, if I could save him, he would help to free the shadow stalkers on the Dark Isle and the war would be over. All prisoners of the Galvadi would be free, including my friend. It was my only option now, a way to save Jade and everyone else.
Someone removed the sack from my head, as I was pulled upright. I was in the back of a hydrocar, though not the luxury vehicles I was familiar with. There were two rows of seats facing each other, made from firm, course
material, which scratched against my skin. The interior was gray, a common theme for the Galvadi it seemed. It made me wonder about the significance; if they were opposed to color in general, or if it was merely an extension of their narrow world view.
I sat against the seat with my back to the driver, directly across from a guide. His hood was drawn down, so I could see his face. His expression was warm and full of pity, for me? He looked around my age, certainly no more than five years my senior. He had brown hair like mine, but his skin was lighter—though not as pale as a native Appolian. His gray eyes held me transfixed, perhaps because everything around us was the same shade and yet their color stood out. I'd never thought of a man as beautiful before, but he was.
"You must be hungry," he said.
I didn't answer.
"You can speak freely."
"I'm a little hungry."
He held a food bar to my lips, so I took a bite. I cringed as I chewed the mouthful, and forced myself to swallow.
He grinned and nodded sympathetically. "They don't taste very nice, but they have all the nutrition your body needs."
I nodded and allowed him to feed me the rest of the bar. As bad as it tasted, it did help to settle my stomach. The reason for my lightheadedness was, in part, due to a lack of food. When I was done eating, he held a small bottle to my lips. I was so thirsty, I drank all the water without stopping for a breath.
"Thank you," I said. "Did you grow up with the Galvadi?"
"Yes."
"What was it like?"
"It's not easy. I won't lie, but it's necessary. Our Emperor protects us from the delohi-saqu in the best way he can."
I nodded. What could I say to that? These people were brainwashed. They didn't hurt others to satisfy some sick and twisted need. They truly believed they were helping people. My heart sank. Defeating Drevin would not be enough. Even if he was dead, the Galvadi people would continue to fight his cause. I wondered if Kado knew how deeply entrenched they were in their emperor's lies.
"I have to put this back on," he said, holding up the canvas bag.
"Okay."
After fastening it over my head once more, he gently lowered me to the seat so I was laying down. A few seconds later I felt a sharp pinch in my thigh—another injection. It was the last thing I remember before I drifted off to sleep.
*****
I woke on a cold hard surface. The sack and all my bindings had been removed. I blinked to clear my vision, and looked around the white, sterile room. Two guides stood nearby, dressed in gray robes. They held a prod each; one short and one long. As before, their faces were covered by their hoods.
"Get into the position for your cleansing," the one on the left said, in a calm tone. I could hear from the underlying edge to his voice he expected me to resist.
I did as he asked, but slowly. Partly due to residual pain from the torture on Appolia, and partly from being bound so long during the trip. Mostly though, I used the time to prepare myself to hide my mind in the shadow world. Surprisingly, the veil appeared quickly. By the time I was in position, I was already gone.
"We are displeased you have lied about your identity, but we understand you are scared. We have faith that once you learn we are only trying to help and protect you, you will trust us with your real name. However, the sooner you tell us, the better it will be for you. We will be increasing the intensity on the shock wands until you comply. You must learn that lying has consequences."
His voice was only a distant echo, and as the torture began, I let myself float into the shadow world. I ignored the physical world for a time. All I knew was they had tortured me for days. I lost count of the number of times they brought me into the cleansing room. Each time my resolve weakened, despite protecting my mind in the shadow world. I could not escape from reality forever, or the lingering pain.
"Auren. My name is Auren," I found myself saying after a particularly brutal cleansing. Torture, it was torture, not cleansing. I cringed instinctively when I realized what I'd said. Then I decided it didn’t matter. Auren was not an uncommon name in the Serpent Isles.
"Good girl," the guide said, caressing the side of my face. "And what is your surname, Auren?"
I gazed at him, feeling genuine horror at the question. What was my surname? I couldn't recall.
"It's okay. It's normal to forget things during the cleansing. It will come to you and when it does, you can tell us."
I nodded, but inside my head I screamed, "Like hell I will."
Despite living on nutritional bars, I was still weak. There were no beds in the cells, so we were forced to sleep on cold, hard floors without a blanket. It didn't help that most of my days were spent in constant darkness. I was taken outside once a day, into a yard with a high wall, and given ten minutes of fresh air. Then it was back into the cold, dark cell.
"Tell us the tenet of the Way of the Galvadi, Auren."
"It is only through the pain of the cleansing that our minds can be truly free. It is only through complete obedience that we can serve our Lord, Drevin. It is only through our loyalty and service that he can protect us from subjugation."
"Very good. You have been progressing so well, Auren. Because of your obedience, service and loyalty, you will be granted some extra privileges. As long as you continue to progress as you have, you will no longer be required to stay in your room during the day. You will be given tasks to complete and when you have completed them, you will be allowed extra time in the yard."
"Thank you, Guide."
"You're welcome, Auren."
Now I could finally work on finding my father, if he was here. I wasn't entirely sure how many reconciliation centers were on Nadiria. Since children were conditioned with the doctrine from an early age, I didn’t anticipate a high need. Though, granted, some would resist the conditioning.
"I have been informed there is a need for an extra pair of hands in the kitchen, so you will help to prepare meals. You will also be allowed to eat in the dining room, though communicating with others is forbidden. You are to do your work and speak only to the guides or Dansig Troops. If you are caught talking to anyone else, you will be punished as your overseer sees fit. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Guide."
"Good, I will show you to the kitchen and you can start your work."
I had learned quickly it was better to pretend you felt no pain, regardless of how much your body ached. So, I ignored my stiff joints and spasming muscles as I followed the guide to the kitchen. It was the largest kitchen I'd ever seen, and quite intimidating. Another guide led me to a room off the back, where there a huge sink and a pile of unwashed dishes and cookware waited.
"Your job is simply to wash the dishes. There will be much to do during the day, so it will keep you quite busy. If you are caught up before the start of each meal, you will be allowed to eat in the dining room. If not, you will have to eat here in the kitchen, so you can get back to work."
"Yes, Guide." In all honesty, I preferred to eat on my own. Not to mention the fact that, with less prying eyes, I would be able to scope out my surroundings. I was not certain I could locate my father through the shadow world, as I had with Jade, which meant I had to find another way. On the way to the kitchen, I noticed an open office door. There was a computer on the desk, and I wondered if I might find information there.
I didn't have time to dwell on the idea. The guide was waiting for me to start work.
*****
I began a new routine. First thing in the morning I was taken to the kitchen to help with breakfast. I never got the chance to eat, because as soon as the food was ready, a guide took me for my daily torture session. Afterwards, I was returned to the kitchen to wash the breakfast dishes, while lunch was being prepared. I couldn’t eat breakfast until I caught up on the dishes, and by then it was usually lunch time. Once I finished washing the plates from lunch, I was allowed into the yard for an hour before it was time to head back to the kitchen. I didn't finish the next lot of dishes
until after dinner was served, so I ate alone, eating quickly before it was time to return to my cell. I called it a cell, rather than a room, to remind myself I was a prisoner here.
By the third day I was no closer to finding my father. I was determined to get into the office, but I was never left alone long enough. I was too afraid to enter the shadow world fully, after Kado's warning, and hiding my mind to escape the torture was beginning to take its toll. I had to constantly remind myself of who I was, and why I was there. It was a daily mantra and the only thing that kept my mind clear and focused.
I was doing the breakfast dishes when I heard a commotion in the main kitchen area, so went to see what was going on.
"What do you mean you overslept?" The guide asked one of the boys who worked in the kitchen prepping food. "Do you need to be collected by a guide each morning like a newcomer?"
"No, Guide," he said.
"Punishment position."
It wasn’t a surprise the punishment position was the same as the one used during cleansing. The surprise came when the guide disappeared into the kitchen's office and returned with a short, single-tailed whip. It didn’t seem to matter we were all watching, so I got the impression it was exactly what the guide wanted.
"It is my hope this will help to remind you to be here on time from now on," she said, then began whipping the boy relentlessly.
The whip didn’t break his skin, but angry looking welts appeared. The boy didn't move; he didn’t cry out. I didn't even hear a sound from him. It was the look on the guide's face, which made my skin crawl. She was enjoying herself, forcing me to reevaluate my earlier conclusion. At least some of the Galvadi were sadistic. It took all of my will to fight back the urge to take the whip and beat her with it. Finally, she stopped, returning the whip to the office before addressing the boy again.
"Stand up."
He obeyed, and though tears streaked his face he made no sound.
"Our purpose is to serve the Emperor. He works hard to protect us, and deserves nothing less from his subjects than diligence and dedication to their work. Are you serving the emperor well if you show up late?"
Shadow Stalker Part 2 (Episodes 7 - 12) Page 3