“Do you hang out with Wyatt Frederickson?”
“He’s one of my best friends,” I immediately reply.
He makes a sound and then pinches his brows together. “I’m going to be honest with you, okay? Because I know you have no knowledge of what goes on at the Chameleon Club, am I right?” he asks lifting his brows.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I reply.
“Bannister PD’s been casing the club for over three years now, there’s a lot of drug activity. A lot of underage kids are being allowed in and buying illegal narcotics. The club is legit for the most part, every time Bannister P.D. grabs someone they know isn’t of age, they magically happen to have a fake I.D.”
My stomach drops, I swallow thickly and nod.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” He cocks a brow.
“Yes,” I state.
“So if you might know someone who might be selling those to the club, I’d suggest you stay away from them. What happened tonight is a slap on the wrist for what you and the person who might be doing something illegal, all right?”
I nod and take a deep breath, sniffling before Milton unlocks the cuffs and I bring my hands to my lap, rubbing my abused wrists. I stand up and follow Milton to the front of the building, where he gives me the slip for my truck at the lot and tells me I can get it now, but I don’t have any cash on me so I’ll have to get it tomorrow. I walk out of the station, sniffling, and running my fingers under my swollen wet eyes. I have to blink a few times to realize the figure approaching me is Missy.
“Hey, sweet girl, come here,” she says taking me in her arms.
I fall into her, her arms securing around me as her hand rubs up and down my back.
“Come on, I’ll get you home,” she says looking down at me before making a hissing noise. “Your poor lip.”
I nod and she guides me down the steps with an arm still around my back. We walk to her SUV parked down the street and she helps me up into the seat, buckling me in before closing the door and heading around the front to get into the driver’s side. I’m trembling and hiccupping, my mind still whirling about what happened. She starts the truck but we sit there in silence, her hand cupping my knee as she faces me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a small voice.
“Milton called me,” she says. “I called Nolan to come stay with the girls, and I called Wyatt but he didn’t answer.”
Hearing his name makes my stomach flip. He fucking left me there, led me there, and fucking ran.
“Milton assured me he only called me, he knows your parents are out of town.”
I close my eyes and hold back the emotion still left and pleading to come out. I didn’t even think about having to explain this to my parents.
“I know Dornan’s been on Wyatt’s ass about wrecking Kendall’s truck, but never did I think he was making money outside of the garage…I knew he was fucked up when he went to Montana, we never should’ve let him go out there.”
She runs her hand across her hairline and looks down, I don’t know what the hell is going on or how any of this ties together. He lied to me about why he came back, saying it was because of me. But really, he was in trouble and ran away, fucking coward. I can’t describe how I feel right now. Used, lied to, taken advantage of…all the positive things I thought Wyatt and I were experiencing, are fucking gone. I feel further a fool for giving him so much of myself when he was giving me nothing…nothing but lies.
“You guys all go out together; has he been drinking a lot? I know he was right after Sven, but I thought it had stopped after Montana when he got wasted and wrecked the truck. Maven says he goes out all night, comes into work late-”
“He’s been with me,” I tell her.
Her eyes widen, her mouth opening slightly.
“He hasn’t been out drinking, he’s been with me all those nights.”
There’s no relief, no weight lifted off my shoulders at my confession. I shouldn’t be telling her the truth; I should be letting her think he’s out partying. But I can’t stand the way she was looking just then, scared and afraid for her grandson.
“I,” she pauses and exhales. “I thought something was finally going on with you two,” she says putting a hand to her mouth and I can tell my answer relieves her.
Of course she says ‘finally,’ assuming Sven had told her about his talks with Wyatt about me. But known of that matters now.
“No one knows…and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. It’s over between us anyway,” I add in a whisper and look out toward the window, did she say finally? But my brains too overloaded to comment on that.
We sit in silence before finally Missy pulls out from the curb and drives me home. When she parks in the driveway, I thank her and make my way up the steps to my loft on shaky legs.
“Daisy,” I hear and my whole body jerks, looking down to the bottom of the steps at Wyatt standing there.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I sniffle.
“No, wait, please,” he says coming up two steps.
“No,” I state, putting a hand out, “don’t you think you’ve done enough tonight?”
“But-”
“No, I needed you when I was thrown into the back of a cop car, not fucking now!”
His expression falls and he nods his head. “I’m sorry.”
“I can’t do this right now,” I state with a shake of my head.
He again nods his head and watches me dejectedly as I enter the loft. I forgot to leave a light on as usual, but don’t even attempt to turn one on. I lock the door, which I never do, but I don’t want to think about Wyatt coming up here. I drop my bag on the floor, peeling my clothes off as I head for the bathroom. The nightlight on the vanity gives me enough light to see as I turn the shower on and I get in, the water’s freezing but I don’t feel it. I sink down onto my ass, bringing my knees to my chest and burying my face in my arms. A few tears come, but more of it is I’m angry. Maybe anger is the only function I can produce since hurt and heartbreak aren’t fathomable right now. Eventually I pick myself up and head to my room, vowing I will never shed another tear over Wyatt fucking Frederickson ever again.
15
DAISY
The next morning, I wake up to see my truck parked outside in the driveway. It’s the least Wyatt could’ve done for what he did last night. The next few days, I allow myself to wallow in self-pity, I’m only human. Since I don’t want to inflict my dour mood on anyone, I remain in the loft for the most part. Even when my parents return home the next night, I decide to lay low since my bottom lip still looks horrible and I don’t want to be questioned on it. This week though, the few times I’ve gone into the main house, my dad’s been there. He’s yet to unleash his anger about my deferment, but he keeps making comments and picking away with stupid questions about what my plans are. But when he asks me about the scab on my split lip, the night Wyatt fucked me over comes to the forefront of everything again. I lash out, and it further angers me because Wyatt’s the one who deserves this wrath, not my dad. But it feels good to yell, feels good to voice some emotion. Even with all of our arguing, we’re not talking about my reasoning behind not going to school, which I know we need to, it just adds to all the shit on my plate even more.
This stress is only pilling onto my family on top of how Abbey’s acting. I feel bad for it, but I just want to be left alone. My dad and I got into a huge argument last night and I haven’t seen him since. I spend my day ignoring Wyatt’s messages and calls to the point where I’ve shut my phone off. The one advantage I have is living on my parents’ property. I know he said he wanted everyone to know we were together, but I don’t think he’d chance being seen by my dad right now. I’ve been drawing a lot, getting lost in my fantasyland of child stories for another book for Ruby.
When I go to grocery shop for the family and see Katie there, we walk up and down the aisles together as she talks about her daughter Goldie coming home for a few weeks. Joey an
d Katie’s kids are the oldest of all the kids, but their girls used to babysit all of us and now live in other states. I like hearing Katie talk, and it takes my mind off shit, but even then, I still can’t break through the blackness completely. She asks me several times if I’m ok, or if I want her to leave me alone, but I don’t honestly, and realize I’m being rude.
Being that my run-in with Katie probably alerted her to my state, it wouldn’t surprise me if she called my mom. So it doesn’t shock me when I’m sitting at the dining room table in the loft drawing later that day and look up to see my dad in the doorway.
“What?” I ask.
Hole’s “Miss World” is blasting and I just look at him, he sighs and looks over at my stereo so I get up and shut it off.
“Will you talk to me?” he asks calmly.
“There’s nothing to say,” I state.
“So, I’m supposed to go on with you acting like when you see me you want to rip my face off?” he asks, and I can see his temper rumbling just beneath the surface.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I ask with a shake of my head.
“Because I love you.”
“Mom loves me, and she leaves me alone.”
“I’m not your mom,” he retorts.
“I don’t see why you’re riding me so hard about school,” I reply.
“I just don’t want you to say you’ll go back after time off, once you get out of the routine of school, you’ll never go back Daisy. I left to take care of your uncle and I didn’t go back, I regret that. I understand taking a break from volleyball, but you’re not even taking any art classes over the summer.”
“I’ll sign up for art classes then, will that make you happy?”
“I’m not saying you have to major in art, I just would like to see you doing something, if not college.”
His jaw starts to tick and I know he’s really restraining himself.
“I’m working at the yoga studio, I’m making money-”
“Money isn’t the issue Daisy. I just don’t get what happened to my go get ‘em daughter.”
It hurts me to see him like this, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I just don’t want to go out of state, I thought about it, and the more I did, I didn’t like the idea.”
“That’s fine, but it’s not just school…you don’t want to do anything,” he says softly.
My eyes begin to sting and I shake my head as I look down.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I sigh.
“Try me, I bet I do.”
I shake my head again and my fingers pick at a hole in my jeans. I don’t know what to do, I want to talk, but to my dad of all people?
“Is it drugs?” he questions.
“No,” I say almost with a laugh. “I wish.”
“What?” his voice booms out and my eyes widen and shoot toward him. “I mean,” clearing his throat. “You can tell me anything,” he says lowering his voice.
I’m struggling, I want help and know that maybe if I talk about Wyatt and I, what happened, maybe it will. The black cloud of Wyatt over my head is driving me insane with anger. I want it over with, I want to be free of him and this devastation.
“Come here,” he says and starts walking toward me, and I toward him.
I push into his chest and our arms wrap around each other, while I rest my cheek on his chest. The instant comfort, the knowing that my dad has always been my protector, my guardian against any wrong-doing.
“I don’t want us to fight anymore, I’m not telling you, you have to talk to me about everything, but I see something is going on with you-”
His voice breaks my heart, that tender feeling you only get from a loved one.
“I’m in love,” I sigh.
His body stiffens for a moment, then asks in confusion, “Love?”
“Yes, dad, I’m in love…and it sucks.”
He lets out a huge sigh and rubs my back. “So what’s the problem?”
“The problem is, he’s my best friend’s brother, and he blew it with me,” I groan and bury my face in his chest.
He’s silent for a while, and I know he’s kicking my words around. Examining them, weighing them, and I can almost hear him thinking, ‘Nolan would be good, please don’t say Wyatt, please don’t say Wyatt.’
“Which one?” he finally asks, holding his breath.
I raise my head and look up at him, confessing, “Wyatt.”
He closes his eyes, his brows pinching together. But I look up at him with bated breath, hoping that maybe he will listen to me. Although again, there’s no relief at speaking his name.
“Daisy,” he says then stops.
“See, I knew you’d be mad, this is why I didn’t want to tell you!”
I growl and pull away. The anger boils inside me, because again, anger is much easier than crying.
“I’m not mad, I just…I need to just…let this sink in,” he says raising his palms.
“I’m eighteen, Dad,” I defend.
“And I know I can’t tell you what to do, but if you’re going to-”
He stops, his hands balling into fists. “I know you’re smart, I just want you to be smart about this with him,” he offers.
“It really doesn’t matter anyway,” I shrug. “Anything I thought we had is over.”
“There’s one thing I have to ask, and don’t blow up on me,” my dad says.
“What?” I sigh.
“Please tell me he’s not the reason for your deferment?”
I look at him. “No dad, I just,” I stop and sit on the couch. “I just don’t think I’ll like it, I don’t know why, but I don’t get excited and happy when I think about the fall…I know you and Mom want me to, but I don’t.”
He sits down beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders.
“Thank you for being honest with me, me and Mom just want you to be happy, if you think you’ll be miserable, we’d never force that on you.”
I look up at him, finally I feel relief on the matter. We sit there for hours it seems, talking, and in the end, I know I’ve made the right choice with my decision.
The next day I drop the girls off after practice at the garage, not getting out of the car and NOT looking inside. Later that week, I head over to see Katie at the hair salon for a coloring. I need a change, so she tints my hair a lilac color, chopping it to my shoulders, and I love it. This new look, along with the stress of having to deal with my parents, helps me forget for a while why my heart still hurts with every beat. Friday night I turn my phone back on and ignore the hundreds of missed calls and text alerts from Wyatt, and open one from Irys sent earlier today.
Irys: wanna come to a party tonight?
Me: yeah, where?
Irys: Joel Kepling’s.
I groan inwardly because I know everyone from high school will be there, but fuck it, I want to spend time with her.
Me: can’t wait.
Irys: lol, I’m sure.
I put on a black strappy bustier, the front has two separate thin straps that cross over my cleavage, and an oversized black tank top. I slip on a pair of jean cut offs and my black and white Chuck Taylors. Throwing my hair into a messy pony and leave my makeup simple with just some mascara and pink blush. I find myself not even giving a shit about how I look in the end, not even actually looking at myself during the process. Even if someone is there that might take interest in me, fuck that, and fuck love…it’s overrated.
16
WYATT
This week’s been the worst of my life. Even worse than when Sven died. I know I blew it with her, I put her in a situation. Daisy, the girl I’ve known since her birth, the girl who I started noticing, the girl who became a woman in front of my eyes. But I’ve fucking thrown everything away. The night it happened, the night she was taken to the police station, I wanted to kick my own ass for my behavior. I waited outside her loft, debating if I should stay and talk to her, or leave and never show my face again. I was
about to leave when I saw my grandma’s SUV pull up the drive and I hid behind the steps just out of sight. Daisy looked shattered and alone, all because of me. It was no surprise when she told me to leave, and I’ve stayed away since. I’ve been calling, texting, now her phones not even on. I want to go to her, talk face to face. But I’m so ashamed of how I acted, leaving her there to receive the punishment meant for me, because of something I did, how unmanly can one be? She must think I’m the lowest of the low. I asked her once if she was embarrassed of me but already knew the answer. Daisy makes me feel alive and unstoppable. Until the other night, I felt like I could do no wrong with her by my side. I ignored all the negative shit people said about me and thought about me this summer. Going from a golden boy to a chump eats at me. But when Daisy looks in my eyes, I feel like I can do no wrong. When she gives herself to me, trusts me to take her places we’ve never been…there’s nothing more soul connecting than that. And for that, I love her.
I think I’ve known for a long time how I felt about her, I’m just now realizing it. Yes, part of why I wanted to keep things casual between us at first was because I knew I was too damaged from Sven’s death, to actually give myself to her. But if we’re being honest, I was gonna be the one who fell head over heels for her, I just knew it. Once we started being together, everything else fell away. Everything with her felt right, aligned, fucking perfect. The fears, sadness, indecision, was all gone. Nothing felt more real and right than being with her. Leaving her those first nights, the words I said, explaining things to her and how it would be…I was really reiterating it to myself. She wasn’t just fulfilling this part of me that I didn’t know was vacant, she made me feel better than I ever remember feeling before. To talk to her about the things we both wanted from this, the sexual stuff, it was like she was a fantasy come to life. I’d dreamed about being this open with someone, and with her. But for it to happen, to be real, I knew this wasn’t just a coincidence. I always know when someone is just going along with something I want because they don’t want to speak up. That’s never been Daisy, but to hear she was on board with where my head was at, God, she’s perfect.
Use Somebody: Plantain Series Book Four Page 19