SKIN DEEP
…
A.J. Daniels
¶
PRONOUN
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Copyright © 2017 by A.J. Daniels
Cover design by Taylor Sullivan
Interior design by Pronoun
Edited by Eve Arroyo
Distribution by Pronoun
ISBN: 9780995840911
TABLE OF CONTENTS
SKIN DEEP
DEDICATION
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
EPILOGUE
PLAYLIST
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PIECE OF ME
CHAPTER ONE
SKIN DEEP
A.J. DANIELS
Copyright © 2017 A.J. Daniels
All rights reserved.
ISBN-13: 9780995840911
DEDICATION
To my husband. I love you to infinity and beyond. Thank you for supporting me in this adventure
To my dad. I miss you.
“Scars remind us where we’ve been, they don’t have to dictate where we’re going.”
- Agent David Rossi, Criminal Minds.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
The author has taken creative liberties with all names, places, and organizations mentioned in this book, and are not a reflection of any person, living or dead, or organization.
SKIN DEEP is the first book in the Behind These Eyes series but each book in the series can be read as a standalone, although, it’s recommended to read them in order
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
FIRST AND FOREMOST, I’D like to thank my husband for standing behind me and encouraging me to pursue this dream. I love you, J.
LC, thank you for sticking by me and allowing me to throw random plot ideas and scenes at you. For being my Criminal Minds buddy, and for lending me your engagement story about catching crabs at the beach. Here’s to another ten years, Bestie.
Taylor at Imagination Uncovered, you did an amazing job on this cover, and I can’t wait to work with you again.
Eve Arroyo, my editor, thank you for taking on a newbie author. I look forward to working with you again in the future.
All my beta readers. You ladies are amazing and I’m thankful for each and every one of you.
To Team Titan, if it weren’t for you ladies and gents I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to pursue this writing thing. Thank you for your support and encouragement. ILYH. #TitanStrong.
To the readers who stuck with me and read Skin Deep from beginning to end, thank you for taking a chance on a new author. I hope you enjoyed the ride.
PROLOGUE
1996
Cold lifeless eyes that once mirrored his own stare back at him. The sweet rush of adrenaline still courses through his veins. It’s a much better high than any he’s experienced before. Even killing the damn cat didn’t make him feel like this.
An evil smirk picks at the corner of his mouth as he pushes his sister’s lifeless body into the pool. Now she won’t steal his favourite toy truck. Now she won’t bother him when he’s trying to watch his favourite cartoons in the morning.
He forces a tear to run down his cheeks when he hears his parents running through the living room and out the screen door that separates the house from the backyard. His mom shrieks when she sees his sister floating face down. His dad frantically jumps in to try and save her.
But it’s too late. He’s had his first taste of killing something bigger than an animal and he can’t wait to be able to experience the rush again.
CHAPTER ONE
2011
“Congratulations, baby,” Parker’s mother says giving him a hug.
“Thanks, Mom.” Staring down at his newly printed degree he can’t believe he actually did it. He managed to graduate with a Bachelor of Science Degree.
“Well done, son,” his dad says, clapping a hand on his back.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Looking around at all the graduates and the amount of happiness radiating from them he can’t help but feel glad to finally be getting out of this place. If it were up to him he would’ve joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, RCMP, right after high school. But Jason, Mike, and he had made a pact when they were ten that they would all join at the same time. Then Jay enlisted in the military right after high school graduation and Mike decided to party his way through Europe. So he did the only thing he could do, he agreed to follow his parents’ wishes and continue on with his education to get his Bachelor’s degree.
But Mike had returned from Europe two years ago and Jay ended his four-year enlistment a year ago. Now Jay and Mike were waiting for him to finish his degree before the three of them went off to Regina for RCMP training.
“So, when do you start?” his dad inquires.
“In two months.”
“Good.”
Parker nods.
“Good, good,” his dad says looking around while Parker checks his phone and his mother examines her nail beds. “Well, Lori. We should get going.”
His mom smiles and gives him another hug before getting into their white Audi R8 Spyder.
His family is fucking loaded and his parents have no issues flaunting it with their expensive cars, elaborate parties, boats, and their houses. Yes, houses’, as in more than one.
He never did see the need in having more than one fucking house.
“Call us when you get settled,” his dad says as he sits down in the driver’s seat.
“Yes, sir,” he replies before his dad shuts the door and they’re speeding off the next second.
When their tail lights disappear around the corner he feels like he can breathe again. He loves his family, he really does, but spending any lengthy amount of time with them is draining.
He needs a fucking drink after that encounter with his parents.
They still don’t understand why he coaches at a football camp every summer or why his goal is to make it onto the RCMP’s elite Emergency Response Team, ERT. The closest thing he could relate it to was a cross between the CIA and SWAT. His parents’ didn’t understand because he himself has over half a million dollars sitting in his bank account. Half a million which was about to become two million dollars after the inheritance from his grandparents kicks in in two months, on his twenty-third birthday.
He didn’t have to work if he didn’t want to and, truthfully, with all the studying he’d done during the school semester, he’s grateful for that but he’d rather earn everything he wants than have it handed to him.
/> He shoots of several text messages before making his way back to his condo.
Parker: Pizza. Beer. Football. My place. I recorded last night’s game.
Jay: I’ll bring the pizza.
Mike: Fuck yes! I’ve got the beer.
CHAPTER TWO
2014
You don’t have to do this, Ashley, she tells herself. Just walk out the door and go to Kat’s. She’ll help you disappear. All you have to do is walk out the door and tell her everything that’s happened.
But out of fear Ashley doesn’t move from straddling Adam’s lap. Fear that he’ll never let her leave. Fear that if she did manage to leave he’d track her down and drag her right back here.
His hand runs up her thigh while the other snakes around her neck, holding her in the perfect position for him to kiss her. Hard. Empty beer and whiskey bottles and half smoked joints litter the floor around the espresso colored coffee table of their living room.
This has become a nightly routine for them; they drink, get high, and fuck. Adam likes to remind her nightly of how much she needs him. How she’d have nothing if it weren’t for him. She doesn’t ever correct him because he’s right. He’s created such a void that her family and friends have refused to speak to her until she lets him go. Except Kat and Alice. They’ve been the only constant in her life.
She hasn’t picked up a razor blade since they started seeing each other more frequently. Though, Adam, along with the drinking and pot, have become a replacement for the blade.
Adam slams back his shot of Jack Daniels and then the rest of his Coors Light before crushing his mouth to hers again. He tastes like whiskey and beer; it’s a combination she’s gotten used to over the last several months.
His grip tightens in her hair, almost painfully, pulling her head back, and exposing her neck to his roaming mouth. Adam’s teeth nip at her jaw. She moans and arches closer to him, urging him to go lower. She needs to feel his mouth on her breasts, but he doesn’t take the hint.
His hand continues roaming up her thigh and then circles around to squeeze her ass, bringing her body closer to his. She can feel his hard length against his zipper and suddenly she would do anything to have him inside of her. To live in the fantasy of the safety his arms would provide. But that’s all it would be. A fantasy. Because nothing about him is safe. The hands roaming her body are just a part of his arsenal of weapons; used to break her down physically until she’s compliant the way he wants. And the mouth trailing kisses along her collarbone and up her neck is the worst weapon of all; capable of making her feel like she deserves whatever punishment he deems fit. Right now, she tries to push that knowledge out of her mind because sex with him is the only way she knows how to cope with it all. The sex provides her with a high unlike any amount of pot would.
She grabs a fistful of his shaggy, brown hair and tries to force his mouth further down her body, but he doesn’t move from his assault on her neck.
“Adam . . .” she breathes heavily.
“Tell me what you want, Ashley.”
She runs her palm over the growing bulge in his jeans, but he pulls away shaking his head.
“Words, Ashley. I want to hear you say the words.”
His hands and mouth go back to their roaming assault on her body, and she can’t think straight. Doubt and guilt start to crawl their way back up her spine. Not ready to face reality, she tries to grab his hands and place them on her breasts, but it doesn’t work.
She starts grinding against him, but he puts his hands on her hips and stills her movements. Frustration builds inside of her as the promise of the fantasy slowly crashes around her.
His phone rings from across the living room, and in his haste to answer it he tosses her on the other side of the couch.
“Who is it?” disappointment laces her voice.
It stops ringing before he can answer it but something on the screen has caught his attention because his fingers fly over the keyboard. “It’s no one,” he lies. “Look, babe, I gotta head out for a few hours.” He pockets his phone, rearranges himself, and reaches for his suit jacket. “I’ll call you later,” he throws over his shoulder before closing the front door of the apartment behind him.
“Yeah, sure,” she whispers into the quiet. Her body starts to shake in anger and disappointment. She was about to overlook all of Adam’s abusive and controlling ways again, just for another taste of a fantasy she knew she could never have. Silent tears roll down her cheeks as her thumb traces the fading scars on her inner wrist.
Her phone pings with a new message, bringing her out of her daze.
Kat: Bellinis and chocolate cake?
Ashley: Heck yes! At Joey’s?
Kat: Already here.
She laughs at Kat’s message. It’s possibly the first time she’s laughed in over a week. Maybe she doesn’t need Adam to keep her distracted from the darkness tonight. Maybe drinks and chocolate cake with one of her best friends will be able to do the job Adam couldn’t.
12 years ago
She hates this place. She hates the cold, the snow, and the stuck-up kids she’s forced to go to school with. She hates not being able to see her cousin and best friend whenever she wants. It’s been two years since they emigrated from Cape Town, South Africa to Toronto, Canada. Six months after moving here and starting school, she forced herself to get rid of her slightly British accent. Even then, at twelve years old, she couldn’t stand being laughed at every time she opened her mouth. She hated it. She wanted to cry and she wanted to go home. Not the house they lived in here, but back home to the country she knows and loves.
But what she didn’t miss was feeling like she was a worthless use of space. Yeah, families are awesome like that, not! Don’t get her wrong, her parents, her cousins, and some of her aunts and uncles are great, but others not so much, especially her grandmother on her dad’s side. For Ashley’s whole life she always felt like she and her brother, Chris, were never good enough and could never live up to her grandmother’s standards. Even as a little girl; walking into her home and seeing pictures of all her cousins on her walls but almost none of her and Chris made her feel like they weren’t wanted. Oh, there would be, but it was only a small 2x2 image of them tucked away into the corner of a frame that already held a big picture of their cousins.
Some might think it weird how close her family and extended family were when she was growing up in South Africa, but that’s how life was over there. They saw aunts, uncles, and cousins every weekend and sometimes during the week too. In the summer, they saw each other several times a week. She always wondered why her grandmother never loved them like the other cousins. What was so wrong with them? Were they that unlovable? Was she ashamed of her family?
…
The restaurant is dimly lit and loud cheers sail up from the bar area as the Vikings score another touchdown against the Titans. The hostess leads her to a booth in the dining room where Kat is studying the menu. Her long, brunette hair isn’t up in its usual messy bun tonight. Instead, it’s cascading in waves down her back. She’s so focused on the menu Kat doesn’t look up when Ashley slides into the opposite side of the booth.
“What’s up?”
Kat’s head snaps up, and her amber eyes narrow. “They changed the menu.”
“What? Please tell me they didn’t get rid of the chocolate lava cake. I was promised chocolate tonight.” She reaches over to grab the menu out of Kat’s hands. She breathes a sigh of relief when her eyes scan down the menu and find chocolate lava cake listed as the first dessert mentioned.
“They didn’t, but they did remove the lettuce wraps.” Kat pouts in disappointment that her favourite item was no longer being offered.
Ashley’s eyes widen in horror when the realization she never grabbed her jacket before leaving the apartment catches up with her as she hands Kat back her menu. The bruises on both of her arms are fully exposed. Her wrist and scars thankfully covered by the oversized bangle she chose to wear today.
; Kat grabs both of her arms and turns them over, exposing the black and blue marks. “Ash?”
“It’s nothing, Kat.” She pulls her arms away and tried to hide them under the table.
“It’s nothing?” Kat repeats, not understanding.
When she doesn’t answer, Kat huffs and opens her mouth to say something just as their waitress comes to take their order. Kat orders the chili chicken, and she orders the chocolate lave cake. Both of them ordering peach Bellinis.
When their waitress leaves Kat levels her with a knowing look. “Did he do this?”
“Who?”
She tries to act dumb, but it’s not working. They both know there is only one “he” in her life.
Adam wasn’t violent when they first started dating. In fact, it was only supposed to be a casual thing. A way for her to chase the high she so desperately craved and Adam, well . . . Adam got laid.
But then he started getting possessive, saying he couldn’t stand the thought of her with other men. So, they began only seeing each other, at least that’s what she thought. It turns out Adam had other ideas.
She knew there was at least one other woman for sure, but who knows how many there were. The first time she confronted him about it was almost a year ago to date.
“Who is she, Adam?”
“What are you talking about,” he continues flipping through the TV channels, ignoring her.
She throws the lipstick-stained shirt down on his lap, “The woman whose lipstick is on your collar.”
“I’m warning you, Ashley. Let it go,” he demands, lowering his feet from the coffee table to the carpet.
“No, I won’t let it go, Adam. Who is she?”
Adam pushes up off the couches and stalks towards her. “I said let it go.”
“Fuck you!” she throws back.
She didn’t see the first slap coming but she’ll never forget the sound it made when his palm hit her cheek. It was like the first clap of thunder before a rain storm. It was so hard it threw her head back, and she stumbled until she hit the wall behind her.
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