by Marlowe Blue
That was easier said than done. If I had a way of making myself remember, I would have.
I decided to follow McAllister’s advice of keeping my mouth shut until my arraignment. Bloom and Nichols seemed especially agitated at that, but I didn’t care. They only wanted to solve their case which would entail locking me up for life. I had to look out for myself so I exercised my right to remain silent. I didn’t have much else to say anyway.
I spent the rest of the day in my cell. They brought me books to read along with a lunch and dinner that was cold and disgusting. I longed for the taste of my mother’s food even though I had only been away for a day. I vowed to never tell her that her meatloaf was dry ever again. It was actually delicious, one of her best dishes. I only said I didn’t like it when I wanted to hurt her feelings.
The following morning, Detective Nichols came into my cell, looking surprisingly happy and rested. He tossed me a large Ziploc bag filled with my jewelry and personal items.
I stared at it for a long time as if it were some foreign object. “What’s this for?”
“You’re going home, kid. The charges have been dropped.”
15
The Present
I couldn’t take my eyes off Nichols. I studied his thick, black hair, his broad shoulders, and his perfectly trimmed mustache. Then again, I looked down at the bag he had tossed to me. “What?”
“You’re free to go. The charges have been dropped.”
I was tempted to lay back down so I could wake up because I must have been dreaming. “What do you mean the charges have been dropped?” There was nothing about this case that would result in my innocence, so I thought that maybe he was playing with me. I hadn’t even gone to court yet.
“Someone confessed last night. They came to the station and turned themselves in. They even had a video of the entire ordeal.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to make things make sense. “Who? Who would do something like this?”
Detective Nichols pressed his lips together. “Neil Bradley.”
My breath stuck in my throat causing me to choke. “Neil Bradley? He’d crossed my mind but I’d never taken the thought seriously. Why would he kill them?” I knew he wanted to be a part of our group, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to launch a full-blown massacre.
Nichols breathed deeply. “That’s what we’re trying to find out right now. Come on. Your parents are waiting.”
My parents, they had to be so relieved. The weight of the universe lifted off me. I didn’t think the reality of what he was telling me had hit me yet.
I took my bag and headed for the door, but a nagging thought stopped me. “I want to watch the video.”
Nichols shook his head. “No can do. That video’s never going to be shown outside of a courtroom and that’s not something you’d want to see anyway. You’re never going to be able to get the images of your friends out of your head. It’s actually a good thing that you don’t remember.”
“Please. I have to know why he did it and I have to know why he left me alive. Detective Nichols, you made me look at the pictures. I’m already screwed for life.”
He sighed. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I followed him to his office where he closed the blinds and told me to sit. He left me alone for a moment, reappearing with an electronic notepad. He took the seat beside me. “Are you sure you want to see this? Once you do, it’ll be too late to turn back.”
I nodded. “Yes, I’m ready,” I lied. I would never be ready for something like that but I needed to know that he had done it and maybe the video would give me a reason why.
I closed my eyes and prayed, then I opened them. Detective Nichols pressed the play icon.
“The video starts only after the deed is done.”
The camera panned in. I could tell immediately from the red and gray bedspread that they were in Brayden’s bedroom. First the camera zoomed in on Charlotte. Beautiful Charlotte. She lay across the bed wide-eyed. AJ lay beside her staring blankly at the ceiling. They almost looked as if they were holding hands.
I recognized Neil’s croaky voice right away. “Here’s the happy couple. May their love last for all eternity.” He bent down and kissed Char on her lips and then laughed in a way that sent shivers up my spine.
The camera shifted quickly. Brayden was draped over a recliner in the corner of the room. His long legs dangled over the arm of the chair and his mouth was opened wide as if he was in mid scream. He seemed to be looking at his brother. Maybe trying to call him for help.
I wondered how long it took them to die—how long they were in pain.
Neil turned the camera on himself. “This one put up a much better fight than his brother. But you know how it goes . . . they were born together and they died together. How poetic.”
I wanted to vomit.
Neil flipped the camera around and zoomed in on Coach. He lay on the floor beside the bed with his phone next to him. What had been going through Coach’s mind while all this was happening? Was he afraid? Coach had always said that he wasn’t afraid to die. I wondered if that were true. Visions of his LEGENDS DIE YOUNG tattoo flashed through my mind.
I wanted to know how Neil had managed to kill them all by himself. My four friends against one small guy? How had this happened?
Neil turned the camera on himself again. “I did this. I brought over some alcohol laced with Val. That was the only reason they let me in, to use me for my booze. Once they started to fade, it was like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in this bitch. I’ve seen this done so many times in scary movies. I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to slaughter people—especially people you hate. I have to say, it feels pretty damn good.”
Neil froze, looking at something to his left. “Yeah, okay.”
He was talking to someone. Someone else was in the room with him.
Neil cackled as the screen went black and it was the sickest thing I had ever heard. My body trembled with anger. He spoke as if killing four people was nothing. I wanted to jump through the screen and kill him myself. How could he do that to them? Why? All because we wouldn’t let him be a part of our group? He would ruin all of our lives for that?
“Someone else was there,” I whispered.
Nichols nodded. “Seems like it. We’ll get it out of him.”
“Why did he leave me alive?”
Nichols shut the notepad off. “So you could take the fall, I’m guessing. Just be grateful. We think he was going to let you go down for this but then he felt too guilty about it and he turned himself in.” He nudged me with his elbow. “For what it’s worth, I never thought you did it.”
I searched his face to see if he were telling the truth. He’d told me that before, but I thought it was just a part of his good-cop routine. “You didn’t? Why not? As someone said, I was caught red-handed.”
“I just had a feeling in my gut and my gut is always right.”
He led me to the front of the station where my parents were waiting for me with open arms. I ran to my mother, not caring that I must have looked like a little kid coming home from summer camp who hadn’t seen her parents for weeks. I didn’t care that I had only seen her the day before. This had been the worst experience of my life and I had never been so afraid that my life was completely over.
My father kissed the top of my head. He had my favorite denim jacket with him. He placed it over his shoulders and he ushered Mom and I to the door.
Outside was a flurry of action I hadn’t been expecting. There were bright flashes of light and people with cameras shouting things at me. They were speaking much too loudly and over each other for me to make out what they were saying. My parents pushed through them, warning me not to say a word.
The same scene of nosy reporters greeted us at home. Dad shouted that he would call the cops if they didn’t leave our property, but they remained even after we’d shut the door behind us and drew the curtains.
I don’t know w
hy it took so long for reality to hit me, but it did as soon as I set foot in my house. I couldn’t pick up the phone to call Char and ask her what we were going to wear the next day. I couldn’t yell at the twins for playing some annoying prank on me. Even thoughts of Coach tugged at my heart. I would never see his wicked smile or hear his goading comments again. Even after all we had been through, I would have never wished that type of fate on him.
The next day was Friday and school had been cancelled. Morgan came over early while I was still in bed. She crawled underneath the covers and cuddled with me. “Neil. I can’t believe it. Who knew he was so twisted?”
I didn’t. All the times I’d passed him in the hallways at school. All the nights he’d hounded us in the parking lot at Ray’s. He just seemed like an eager kid who wanted part of the action. I wouldn’t have imagined in a million years that he would have done something like that.
The irony of it. We hadn’t let him in because we didn’t think he was hardcore enough. He’d proved us all wrong, hadn’t he?
I pulled the covers underneath my chin. “I saw it, Morg. I saw pictures of their dead bodies and the video. It was sick. Neil didn’t even feel bad about what he’d done. It was like it was nothing to him. He could have easily murdered me like the rest.”
Morgan placed her hand on my cheek. “But he didn’t. I know this seems surreal, but we’re going to get through this. It’s going to be hard as hell, but we’ll get through it together. I promise.”
The following weekend was full of funerals and visits to houses to give grieving parents personal condolences. Coach’s funeral was Thursday. Charlotte’s was Friday morning. The twins were laid to rest on Saturday. I never wanted to go to another funeral again.
After the twin’s funeral, Morgan and I sat on the hood of her car as we waited for the crowd to disperse. AJ and Brayden were the last to be buried and then everything would be final. I wasn’t ready to let go yet.
Hunter approached with his hands shoved in his pockets. I hadn’t seen Hunter since that night at his father’s business. I had no idea what to say to him but I wasn’t in the mood to play nice. Really, I just wanted to be left alone.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m really sorry about what happened to your friends. It’s horrible. I can’t even imagine how you must feel.”
I adjusted the jacket of my suit. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re really sorry.”
Hunter frowned. “What does that mean?”
Morgan gave me a warning look that I ignored. She always knew when I was about to say something out of anger that I didn’t really mean.
I glared at Hunter. “It means you hated all of us. Remember when you told me what an awful person I was and how you never wanted to see me again?”
His cheeks reddened. “Are you kidding me? You guys trashed my family’s business for no reason, so yeah, I was mad, but do you really think I’m happy about what happened to them because of that? We didn’t even press charges against you guys or anything.”
Hunter was right. We were the ones who had done wrong, not him and his family. I wasn’t being fair. “Sorry,” I muttered. “I’m just really angry and taking it out on the wrong people.”
His face softened and he sat on the hood of the car sandwiching himself between me and Morgan. “I understand. It’s cool. Listen, I know you’re going through the worst time ever right now, but when you’re up to it, I’d like to take you to dinner and a movie or something, just to get your mind off things.”
Morgan grinned beside me. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I had made myself come to terms with the reality that Hunter and I were never going to happen thanks to Coach, so the fact that this was happening was hard to process. “That sounds okay,” I said quietly.
Hunter patted my shoulder. “Awesome. I’ll see you around, okay? Call me if you need anything.”
“Okay.” I watched him walk away. I didn’t look at Morgan because I knew she was grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t know what you’re getting so excited about. He’s only talking to me out of pity.”
She chuckled and looped her arm around mine. “Hey, you got to start somewhere.”
We stayed at the cemetery for another half hour. Once we’d said our final goodbyes to the last of our friends, we went home. The whole time I kept wondering when I would wake from the nightmare my life had become.
16
My parents let me stay home for a couple of days, but the following Wednesday I was back in school. Even though I fought them on it, I needed to get out of the house. Nothing was ever going to be the same no matter how long I stayed shut up in my room. How was I supposed to get through my senior year without the Hex? How was I supposed to enjoy prom, graduation, and the senior trip to Barbados without Char and the guys?
News filled with ravenous reporters were camped outside of the school, hounding students as they walked onto the campus. Thankfully the police were there to keep them from coming onto school grounds.
As soon as I stepped into the school building, I wanted to be anywhere else but there. Right in the foyer of the school was a huge memorial full of flowers, stuffed animals, and colorful RIP and WE’LL MISS YOU posters. Everyone stared at me while they pretended not to. I was the girl who had survived the massacre. The one who had been covered in the blood of her friends. I had been arrested and believed to be the prime suspect for almost twenty-four hours, and now here I was among them. I was a living, walking Lifetime movie.
Thankfully Morgan showed up to distract me from the peering eyes. “Hey, hon. Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Everything’s fine.” I let Morgan lead me to my locker as if it were my first day of school and I had no idea where to go. Two lockers down from mine was Charlotte’s locker, wrapped in what looked like pink aluminum foil splattered with crimson construction paper hearts. I wondered who had taken the time to do that. It was nice of them, but Charlotte hated pink and hearts. I wanted to rip it down, but that would have been cruel. The decorators meant well.
Morgan leaned against the locker beside mine as I spun out my combination. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“I’m thinking about how lonely and weird it’s going to be now. I’m so used to hanging out with the Hex. You know, it was just us.”
Morgan smiled as if she understood. “I get that. You know, something good came out of me being kicked out. I met a few new friends. They’re really nice. I’ll introduce them to you today.”
I’d never really thought about what Morgan did when we were apart while I was hanging out with the Hex. I supposed it only made sense for her to find a new clique.
I wasn’t ready to make new friends. It was much too soon and no one would ever be able to replace the Hex.
“And no matter what,” Morgan continued. “You have me.”
I grabbed my history book and slammed my locker shut. “You’re right. We’re going to be okay.”
“Yeah, we are.”
At lunch, I was introduced to three of Morgan’s new friends. One was Shana Rollins. I’d maybe said three words to Shana that school year because she was the self-proclaimed school gossip and I didn’t care for having the matters of my personal life splattered across her blog. She had the reddest hair I had ever seen—Kool-Aid red and deep brown eyes. She was small like Morgan. I could put them both in my pocket. Aside from having a big mouth, but from what I could tell, she was a nice girl.
Toby Goldberg sat across from her. He was the smartest kid in school and we had known he would be our class valedictorian since freshman year. He had a mess of thick, black hair and dark brooding eyes. Toby kept his head down and focused on his school work. He wasn’t super popular but he wasn’t the type of kid people messed with either.
And last but not least, Peyton Phillips. Peyton was the co-captain of the cheerleading squad and fit every part of the cliché with her golden locks and baby blue eyes. I’d had a few run-ins with Peyton in the past and I didn’t like her. Mostly because she was a snitch a
nd always sticking her nose in my business when I hardly knew her. As I sat across from her at the lunch table she threw me sympathetic glances like I was a hurt puppy.
From where we sat, I couldn’t help but see the table where the Hex used to eat. It was empty out of respect. I wondered how long it would stay that way. I shifted my body so I wouldn’t have to look at it.
I glanced around the table. It seemed like a hodge-podge of people who would have never gotten together in real life. A kind-of-cool geek, the school’s very own bullhorn, and a popular cheerleader. And then there was Morgan. I wasn’t quite sure where she fit in. Since she had come to Riverside High, she had been my sidekick.
I didn’t feel like talking so I opened up my history book and pretended to read.
“Not eating?” Shana asked. I knew already I wasn’t going to like her either. I could put her in the same category as Peyton. She was too nosy. Or maybe I was being touchy.
I shrugged, keeping my nose buried in my book. The truth was, I hadn’t eaten much since I had been released from police custody. Nothing tasted right and it probably never would again.
Toby peeled a banana, watching me in a sort of creepy way. “What was it like, you know, being arrested and accused of murdering your friends?”
Morgan hurled a balled-up napkin at him. “Toby! I told you she’s not going to want to talk about it. What’s wrong with you?”
He took a huge bite of his banana. “Sorry, but sometimes talking about stuff helps. Keeping things bottled up definitely doesn’t.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yeah, well if I ever do feel like talking about it, I’ll discuss it with my friends, not some kid I barely know.” Whoa, Lela.
His eyes widened. “Sorry.”
My heart stung as I realized I had used the word friends. I didn’t have friends any more. I had exactly one friend. I had been rude to Toby, but I really didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t like he really cared about me anyway. He only wanted the gory details of the massacre. With Shana sitting right there, my life story would have been known to the entire school by the end of the day.