by Stella James
I reach my hand to the nightstand and turn on my phone, pausing for a second to take in the one word text message from Trevor before I check the time.
“It’s just after midnight,” I respond, setting my phone back down.
“I’ll just wait. Anne said the bank would be closed the rest of the week, I can go to the hospital and spell off Brooke’s parents in the morning.”
“You should eat,” I tell her.
“I don’t think I can yet.”
She begins to trace lazy circles over my chest with her fingertips as she slides her leg over mine. I can feel the towel she was wearing fall open against my side.
“Logan?”
“What is it babe?”
“I need to stop thinking. Just for awhile,” she whispers, leaning up and pressing her mouth to my neck. “Can you make it stop?” Her voice trembles over the last word and I roll her gently onto her back, my hands framing her face.
“Are you sure?”
My lips find hers as she parts her legs and I sink between her thighs, her bare skin pressed against my covered body. Being a teenage boy, I dreamed about what it would be like to have Prairie. But my wildest fantasy didn’t prepare me for the reality of last night. The way we fit together, the way she clung to me just as tightly as I clung to her. Being with her was perfection.
“Yes,” she says, running her hands up my back. “I’m sure.”
She reaches for the hem of my shirt and I help her pull it over my head, tossing it on the floor. Our bodies melt together as our mouths meet in a lazy kiss. There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than here with her, giving her the distraction that she needs. I kneel up on the mattress and reach for the button on my jeans before she sits up and gently nudges my hands out of the way. She leans up and presses her lips to mine, her fingertips tracing the bird above my heart. She doesn’t have to ask if it’s for her, she knows that it is.
She pops open the button and slowly eases down my zipper. Her knuckles graze my cock as a groan rumbles up from my chest. I kick off my jeans but when I move to cover her body with mine, her hand stops me and she pushes me back slightly.
“Lie down Logan, on your back.”
I toss aside the damp towel that I used to wrap her up in and lie down, my cock painfully hard and my fingers itching to grab hold of her soft flesh. The covers rustle at the foot of the bed until I hear them fall to the floor. She places her legs on either side of mine and leans down, her hair brushing my groin as she grazes her teeth along my stomach. She nips and sucks, tasting my skin and moaning softly as she goes. It’s innocent but fucking hot as hell. She slides up my body until her lips are on my chest, trailing wet kisses above my heart and up my neck.
“What do you like, Logan?” she asks against my skin. “Tell me.”
I lift my hips, tug down my boxers and take her hand with mine, guiding her down until her palm is wrapped around my length. I wrap my hand around hers and squeeze firmly.
“Fuck Prairie, just touch me,” I groan, taking my hand away.
She keeps her grip tight and starts jerking me off as she trails her mouth along my jaw. She moans softly and it takes everything in me to not pin her underneath me. But whatever is going on in her head, she needs this, and I’m gonna let her take it.
“Like this, or harder?” she rasps.
“Grip me harder babe. Fuck, yes,” I hiss. “Goddamn.”
“Mm, I like touching you.”
Her mouth brushes mine before she pulls her hand away and slides herself back down my torso until her head is in my lap. She licks the length of my cock and leaves a sloppy wet kiss on the tip. My hands find the back of her head, my fingers tangling into the mass of wild curls. I restrain myself enough not to grip too tightly and wait for her to set the pace. She wraps one hand around my base and licks me again, this time swallowing me between her lips when she reaches the tip.
“Christ Prairie, that’s good,” I groan. “Your mouth is heaven.”
She hums along my dick and slides her mouth back and forth, her tongue lapping at every inch of me that she can get to. I shift my leg over until I can feel her pussy hovering above my shin. I can feel how wet she is and when I lift my leg slightly, she gasps at the contact but keeps her mouth on me and her rhythm steady.
I slide my leg against her dripping pussy until she settles herself on me and begins grinding down, bucking her hips back and forth, riding me. She’s so fucking wet it makes my dick pulse in her mouth, begging for relief. She presses herself down harder and suddenly my dick falls from her mouth as she rubs herself against my leg, moaning the sweetest fucking sounds I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
“Fuck babe, you’re gonna come just from that, aren’t you? It’s so fucking hot.”
“God, Logan, it feels so good.”
Her nails dig into my chest, my dick now sliding between her perfect breasts. I can’t take it anymore, I need to be inside of her.
“Come here,” I growl, pulling her up until her mouth is on mine.
I pull back and roll her onto her stomach, hitching up one of her smooth legs and bending it beside her. I reach for her pussy, dipping two fingers inside.
“Logan,” she gasps. “Please.”
I guide my throbbing dick and slide into her in one smooth thrust until I’m buried as deep as I possibly can be. I prop myself up on one arm and use the other hand to grip her hip as I slide in and out. Deeper every time, hitting her sweet spot with each thrust.
“Oh God, you’re so deep, don’t stop,” she moans. “Don’t stop!”
“Never,” I groan. “I can’t stop, you’re so damn sweet.”
I can feel my balls tighten but I hang on until I feel the walls of her pussy contract around me, her moans muffled by the pillow near her face. I come in long harsh strokes, feeling the shocks of her climax in every bone in my body. When she stops shaking and my heart stops hammering in my chest, I pull out slowly, instantly missing her tight warmth.
I slip from the bed and find a cloth in the bathroom, soaking it with warm water, I come back to find her unmoved. I gently slide the cloth along her swollen sex, cleaning us from her skin. She’s sated and lax when I slide onto the bed behind her and anchor her body to mine. She’s out within minutes and when I’m certain I won’t disturb her, I reach for my phone and roll over quietly. I tap the screen and find the message from Trevor.
Trevor: Santos.
I type out my reply, the scent of Prairie still lingering on my skin. My eyes fall on her as a heaviness fills my chest.
Me: Tomorrow.
I turn my phone off without waiting for a reply. The tension resting in my shoulders eases a fraction when I have Prairie back in my arms.
Tomorrow that fucker is gonna pay.
I can’t let it go. I won’t.
Chapter 22
Prairie
I lie awake, unsure of what today will bring. I think of how nice it would be to bury myself beneath the covers with Logan’s strong arms wrapped around me, letting the hours pass by unnoticed. For a fleeting moment, I let myself enjoy the possibility before reality settles in and the image of Brooke laying in a hospital bed fills me with shame for even thinking such a selfish thing. Tears prick my eyes when I remember how excited she was for the callback to her last audition.
I was a mess last night, unable to cope and in need of a distraction. I haven’t felt this helpless in a long time, not since I left college. The only distraction I had all those years ago was the struggle of starting over again in a big city while I tried to piece myself back together again. This time I had Logan. His mouth, his hands, his heart beating next to mine. I was able to let go for a fraction of time and although I’m perfectly aware of the selfish nature of my actions, I can’t regret them. Call it self preservation, call it whatever you want, but I needed to let go. And Logan was here to catch me.
Letting go of a sigh, I toss the covers aside just as I hear a mumbled curse coming from the kitchen and the clanging of pots
and pans. I reach for Logan’s discarded T-shirt on the floor and slip it over my head before I pull on some clean underwear and head to the bathroom. I close the door quietly behind me and evaluate my reflection in the mirror above the sink. My hair is in it’s naturally curly form, wild and tousled. My eyes are red rimmed and still a bit puffy, the cold water I splash on my face, an instant relief. I brush my teeth and leave my hair the way it is, knowing I won’t be able to get a comb through it until I condition it. I follow the scent of grilled cheese and coffee, a smile playing on my lips.
When I enter the kitchen, I’m greeted with a shirtless Logan standing at the stove. His muscular back covered in swirls of ink, his skin pulling taut with every movement. His jeans are hanging low on his hips, and I can tell from here that his hair is mussed in the most familiar way possible.
“Good morning,” he says, glancing over his shoulder.
“Morning. Are you making me breakfast?” I head for the coffee first and fill one of the two mugs sitting on the counter beside it.
“Are grilled cheese sandwiches considered a breakfast food?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Then yes, I’m making you breakfast,” he grins, leaning over and placing a firm kiss on my temple.
I take a seat at the counter and watch as he flips one sandwich and then the other, the sizzle of buttered bread hissing against the pan. My stomach grumbles and I realize that I can’t even remember the last thing I had to eat. I continue to watch as Logan reaches for two plates and pours his own coffee before he sits down beside me.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing,” he shrugs.
“Some things never change,” I sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“You still don’t know how to take a compliment or gratitude of any kind,” I tease.
“Guess I never thought much about it,” he considers. “I’ve always liked doing things for you.”
I sip my coffee through a smile and ask, “So, what have you got planned today?”
“I’m working tonight,” he says. “And I have a few things to handle before then.”
“What exactly do you do at Delve?” I ask, before I take my first bite.
“Security mostly.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“I’ve heard of Zavier Kane,” I admit. “Is that all you do for him?”
He chews the last of his crust and swallows, hesitating before he replies with a sigh, “It doesn’t really matter what you’ve heard,” he begins. “The less you know, the better. Trust me.”
“You know I do.”
“Then listen to me when I ask you to stay away from Delve.”
“I already told you that I would, but I don’t understand how it’s okay for you to work there.”
“Look, it’s complicated. But I promise I’m figuring it out, working for Zavier is temporary.”
I know Logan well enough to know that this is as far as I’ll get. For now. I know he wants to keep me safe but I wish he’d realize that I’ve always wanted to do the same for him.
If only he’d let me.
*
Logan had to leave right after we finished having breakfast, but not before giving me a toe curling kiss that left me anticipating the next time we’d be able to see each other. After a hot shower and another cup of coffee, I dressed and caught a cab down to the hospital.
I’d texted Sharon on the way and she told me that Brooke’s been in and out of sleep since about four a.m. Her doctor is confident that she will pull through and that with plenty of rest, she’s expected to make a full recovery. I’m still wiping away my tears when I walk through the sliding glass doors and make my way to the bank of elevators that will take me up to the ICU.
When I reach the right floor, the doors slide open and I spot Sharon immediately, waiting for me near the nurse’s station.
“Prairie, honey,” she sobs as she pulls me into her arms. “She’s going to be okay.”
“Thank God,” I say.
“Come on sweetie,” she says, taking my hand. “She’s still groggy but she’s slowly waking up.”
The scent of antiseptic fills my nose as we walk down the stark white hallway to Brooke’s room. I feel a familiar knot in my stomach, the kind of knot that I seemed to have forgotten all about yesterday amidst the chaos. Usually every time I’m in a hospital or doctor’s office, I think of my dad. It’s a knee jerk reaction to remember what he looked like in his last few weeks. The tubes, the machines, the constant beeping. It’s like a cloud over my thoughts until I shake my mind clear and remind myself that unlike my dad, Brooke is going to walk out of this place.
When we reach her room I can see her dad, Allan, sitting beside her bed, holding her hand while her eyelids flutter as a young nurse checks her vitals. We wait until the nurse leaves and Sharon pulls me through the doorway.
“Brooke, honey, Prairie’s here,” she says. Allan looks up at me and smiles, standing from his chair and sliding it out for me.
“Have a seat Prairie,” he tells me. “She’ll be glad to hear your voice.”
I swallow the surge of emotion that I feel, looking down at Brooke’s pale skin and messy hair. She’d be so mad about that, I smile to myself, even though she still looks beautiful. I sit down and place my hand on top of hers. Sharon beams at me with encouragement.
“Hey girl, I think you’ve had enough beauty sleep,” I say. “I reckon it’s time you woke up.”
I say the last part in an exaggerated twang, knowing that if she can really hear me, she’d smile. She doesn’t respond but I keep my hand on hers just to remind myself that she’s going to be okay. After a few minutes, I manage to convince Sharon and Allan to take a break and head back to Brooke’s apartment to refuel. I continue to sit beside Brooke and maintain our one- sided conversation. She’s squeezed my hand a few times and her eyes did open for a second before drifting shut again. After a couple hours, her parents come back and I give up my post. Sharon sends me out to stretch my legs and get a coffee, promising to call me right back if anything changes. I decide to take the stairs down to the cafeteria and call my mom on the way. She answers after two rings and I don’t know why but the sound of her voice has my own voice breaking.
“Mama?”
“Prairie? What’s wrong?”
I tell her about the whole incident and about Brooke. She insists on driving to Fortune immediately but I assure her that I’m okay and Brooke will pull through.
“Really, Mama. I just needed to hear your voice, that’s all,” I insist.
“God, I worry so much about you honey, being in that city alone.”
“I’m not alone, I have Brooke and Jamal at the gym. And Holly,” I remind her.
“You know what I mean,” she sighs.
“I know. But I’m going to be okay, I promise.”
“Okay, I trust you to tell me the truth Prairie,” she warns.
“There is something I want to talk to you about though. It’s Logan, Mama. He’s back.”
“What do you mean he’s back?”
I tell her, minus the warehouse, about seeing Logan for the first time after all these years. I omit a few details but tell her mostly everything that’s happened since that night.
“Oh, that poor boy,” she sighs. “He never deserved what he got, and lord knows he was given the short stick when it comes to loving parents.”
“I didn’t tell him, about…college,” I say. “I know I should, but I also know that he’ll feel responsible.”
“And you don’t want to put that on him,” she adds.
“I just, I know we have a lot to work through, but a second chance like this? What are the odds? I want to enjoy it for now. Is that wrong?”
“Oh honey, it’s not wrong to want to live in the glow for a little while. But at some point, I think you should tell him. You still have bad days now and then, and if he’s as serious about you as you are about him, he’ll want to know how to he
lp you through those days.”
“I know. I do. I think maybe I’ll go to a meeting next week and talk to Holly.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Talk it out with her and get some perspective on how you can broach the subject with him.”
“Thanks Mama,” I smile. “I miss you.”
“Miss you more.”
“Okay, I should get going, I’m supposed to be getting coffee and taking a break.”
“Okay honey. Tell Logan I said hi, and I expect the two of you to plan a trip up sometime soon.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Armed with coffee, I make my way back to the ICU. I turn my focus back to Brooke and sit with her parents until the doctor makes his rounds. He tells us that her current symptoms are normal and that her body will wake up gradually, when it’s ready. All of her vitals are normal and all we can do now is be patient and wait.
I head home eventually, after Sharon promises to keep me updated but I plan on coming back tomorrow regardless. Brooke’s been my closest friend since I moved to Fortune and I know she’d do the same for me.
When I get home and unlock my door, I see the cold frying pan on the stove and find my mom’s words repeating themselves in my mind. Logan deserved so much more than what he was given. It hurt my heart to believe it back then just as much as it hurts my heart now. I wish he could see what I see. That despite the omissions that currently linger between us, I see him for who he is…a boy who made me feel so many firsts and now a man who makes me feel everything.
No matter what it takes, I’ll help him to see what I see. I’ll help him to see through my eyes…until he believes it.
Chapter 23
Logan
“What’s it gonna take for me to get out?”
I’m standing in Zavier’s office, staring down at the mass of people in the club. After leaving Prairie’s apartment this morning, I went with Trevor on a couple collections before we hit the gym and then started our shift. Last call was thirty minutes ago and the crowd is slowly but surely beginning to thin out. Trevor and the boys have it handled downstairs and I took my chance to speak to Zavier without an audience.