He was afraid, too. Of losing Allie now. Of not being able to protect her. The Warrior Society was wrong. He wasn’t a superhero. He was supposed to be, but he wasn’t. With each day that passed, with each day that Allie remained in danger, he cursed himself for not catching her stalker.
“I don’t want you to love me,” he said.
“I can’t help it. I can’t make the feeling disappear.”
He curled his fingers, closing his hands, struggling to control his emotions. He was torn between taking her in his arms and never touching her again.
“I think you loved me, too,” she said. “Before the shooting, before the coma.”
Oh, God. Could this get any worse? “What do you mean? You think?”
“You never said it. But it seemed like you did. You were really into me.”
He still was. But was that the same as loving her? “I can’t remember how I felt about you.” And he didn’t want to think too deeply about the ache that was inside now. “It hurts to love someone.”
“It does,” she agreed.
“I’m sorry, Allie.” He could see how much she was hurting. “But I’d prefer to just be your friend. I can’t handle anything more than that.”
She finally broke eye contact, and it shattered him to see her looking away.
He tried to explain. “I was hurting when I loved Susan. That much I remember.”
She made eye contact again, but not as deeply. There was caution in her voice. “Because she was with another boy and not you?”
He nodded. “Kind of like you and Raven.”
“But Raven’s gone. He isn’t part of my life anymore. There’s only you.”
How could he tell her that he was afraid of not being able to protect her? He’d failed Susan, hadn’t he? The girl he’d loved?
So what did his fear mean? That he loved Allie, too? That he always had? He shook away the thought, not wanting to crowd his already muddled mind.
In addition to his anxiety, he was battling his identity, with being Daniel, with being Fearless. “I just need to focus on the case. To find Ann. To figure out if she’s the stalker.”
“You were always that way. Driven to succeed. Especially on that last night.”
“You mean the museum break-in?” The place where everything had changed, where he’d gotten shot, where Allie had realized that she’d loved him. “How could we have battled supernatural entities? How could we have broken a powerful curse? Yet we can’t find the human who’s threatening you?”
“Maybe humans are smarter than supernatural beings.”
“And maybe we’ve been overlooking the obvious.” He tapped on the fruitcake tin and made a drumlike sound. “Maybe we’re not putting the clues together the way we should.”
Or maybe they’d gotten sidetracked by their relationship, he thought. The hunger, the need, the fever.
The love.
Flustered, Daniel tugged his hands through his hair, but he might as well be tugging on his amnesiac brain. If anything happened to Allie…
“Maybe you should go away for a while,” he said.
“Away from what? You or the stalker?”
“Both. You can go to Europe and stay with your sister and West, and I’ll keep working on the case.”
But she was stubborn, hanging on to him like a lifeline. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
“You still want to be near me? Even if I’m the reason you’re being stalked?”
She set her jaw. “Yes.”
He considered sweeping her out of her chair and covering her mouth in a frustrated kiss, but he didn’t do it.
She added, “Raven offered me to you.”
“What?” He cleared his throat. His pulse was beating triple time.
“He asked you to take care of me. It was an archaic thing for him to do, but he was from another century. He didn’t know any different.”
“Did I accept the offer?” Daniel asked, even though he knew that he must have. He wouldn’t have said no. Not then, and not now.
“Yes, you did.”
“So you were given to me? Like a gift?” Itching to touch her, he closed his hands again. “From a warrior who shape-shifted into a trickster?”
She nodded, and he wished that Raven was here to help him keep Allie safe. Or maybe he wanted Raven to teach him how to love her without panicking. That would be a good trick.
“I still can’t handle anything beyond friendship,” he reiterated.
“It’s okay,” she responded, her voice cracking a little. “I can handle it for both of us.”
Could she? Allie asked herself, as she sat across from Daniel at the Chinese restaurant where they’d gone for dinner. Could she handle it?
Did she have a choice? She loved Daniel too much to let go. But it hurt, dear God, it hurt to be in a one-sided relationship.
Silent, they waited for their food. She’d ordered vegetarian mapo tofu, and he’d ordered orange chicken. For an appetizer, they’d decided on spring rolls, which was something they could share.
Allie was drinking tea, and Daniel swigged on Tsingtao, a brand of Chinese beer. She wondered if she should have gotten alcohol, too. To dull the pain, she thought.
After their waiter delivered the spring rolls, Daniel offered the plate to Allie first. She took one and thanked him, thinking how uncomfortable they were with each other now.
What would it be like later? When they were in bed? How awkward would it be then?
The question stayed on her mind throughout dinner.
Soon their entrees arrived, and while they ate, their conversation remained strained.
At the close of their meal, they reached for their fortune cookies.
“What does yours say?” he asked, filling the silence.
She snapped it in half and removed the slip of paper. Then she stalled, not wanting to read it out loud.
He leaned forward. “Is it bad? Does it say to be beware of something?”
“No.” But it was just as disturbing. “It says ‘You will always have true and sincere friendship in your life.’”
“Oh, wow. That’s weird. Do you think it means us?”
“I don’t know.” The pain deepened. Being in love with her best friend was getting her nowhere, no matter how true and sincere their friendship was. “What about yours?”
He followed suit and broke his cookie. Soon his expression mirrored hers. He looked troubled by his fortune. “Mine says ‘Answer what your heart prompts you.’”
“And what’s that?” she asked. “What is your heart prompting?”
“I have no idea.” He set the paper aside. “Are you ready to go?”
She nodded, leaving her fortune behind, too.
When they got home, he immersed himself in the case, researching horror comics on-line and hoping he would discover something that would shed light on the stalker’s character and where she might be.
Allie took the lazy way out and watched TV. She couldn’t think of anything else to do to keep busy.
At bedtime, things got even more awkward, just as she’d predicted.
“Should I sleep in the guest room?” she asked.
He frowned. “Is that what you want to do?”
“No, but I wasn’t sure what I should do.”
“You should stay with me, like always.”
Okay. Well. Now that they’d settled their sleeping arrangements, she went into the guest room, where she kept her clothes and searched for something to wear, finally deciding on an oversized nightshirt with a ruffled hem. She also put on a pair of lace panties. She returned to Daniel’s room. He was wearing boxers.
Allie got into bed first, and he followed. They lay side by side, not talking and not touching.
She was tempted to seduce him, to run her hand along his thigh, to make him hard, but she was afraid of seeming desperate. Using sex in place of love would only make her hurt more.
But honestly, what difference would it make? Hadn’t she been
doing that already?
She shifted, trying to get comfortable and bumped his arm. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” He turned toward her. “It shouldn’t be this difficult.”
“I know. But it is.”
“Maybe I should hold you, like I did before we were lovers.”
She couldn’t deny him or herself. “That’d be nice, Daniel. Really nice.”
He wrapped her in his arms, and she inhaled the fading scent of his cologne. She wanted to cry against his shoulder, but she was too prideful to break down. He stroked a hand down her hair, smoothing the waist-length strands.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
She did as she was told, much too emotional in his arms. If she wasn’t in love with him already, she would have fallen in love with him now. There was no escaping it.
He was, and always would be, the man of her tangled dreams.
In the morning, nothing had changed. The love issue still clung to the air, much like the L.A. smog.
Daniel was in the shower, and all Allie could think about was joining him. Of course she wouldn’t dare. Besides, she was already bathed and dressed for work. She’d gotten ready while he’d caught a few hours of early-morning sleep.
Rather than leave Daniel’s room, she tidied up, making the bed and fluffing the pillows. But it was a ploy. She wanted to be there when he stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his skin bronzed and damp.
Her timing was perfect. The adjoining bathroom door opened, and there he was.
Gorgeous.
Not only did he look exactly as she’d envisioned him, his gaze latched onto hers. His eyes were an opaque shade of brown, almost the same color as hers. She imagined having babies with him.
One little, two little, three little Indians…
They stared at each other, and she puffed the final pillow.
“You made the bed,” he said, stating the obvious. “I would have done it.”
“I know.” He always made his bed, and he did it with precision. She assumed it was a habit from his military days, even though he barely remembered being in the service. “But I helped muss it up.”
“It wasn’t that mussed.”
Because they hadn’t made love, she thought. And she had no right procreating with him in her mind. They weren’t a real couple and probably never would be.
“I should get dressed,” he said.
“Go ahead,” she challenged, the weight of his rejection pressing against her heart.
He angled his head. “You’re just going to stand there and watch me?”
“I’ve seen you naked before.”
“Don’t tempt me, Allie.”
“Tempt you how?”
“How do you think?”
He wanted to touch her. She could see it in his eyes, and she wasn’t making it any easier on him.
She gave him a much-needed reprieve and turned away. “I’m going to make some hot tea.”
His voice vibrated. He still wanted her. “Will you make me a cup, too?”
She nodded and left the room. She could feel him watching her.
A short time later he joined her in the living room, where she’d set up their tea, along with toast and jam for breakfast.
He sat beside her on the sofa, not too close, but not too far away, either. They both faced the Christmas tree.
“What do you want to do for New Year’s eve?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” The holiday was only days away. “What do you want to do?”
He shrugged and changed the subject. “Don’t forget Rex is stopping by the senior center today.”
“I remember. How’s your work going?”
“Fine. Busy as always.”
Today he’d donned tan-colored scrubs and high-top tennis shoes. He used to wear high tops before the coma, too. But he wasn’t the same man. The old Daniel would’ve given into his feelings for her.
Breakfast was short. They munched the toast and finished their tea.
When it was time to leave for work, they stood in the driveway. He lifted his hand as if he meant to touch her, but he dropped it quickly.
“Be good, Allie.”
“You, too.”
“Call me after Rex gets there.”
“I will.”
As it turned out, Rex arrived at noon while Allie was on her lunch break. He met up with her after he spoke to the director of the center.
They sat outside in the picnic area. Some of Allie’s students were lunching there, along with other seniors whom Allie didn’t know. Regardless, she and Rex had chosen a secluded spot.
“Well?” she asked. She couldn’t see Rex’s eyes or read his expression. He was wearing sunglasses. Unlike yesterday, the weather was warm and dry.
“Ann was here,” he responded. “About two months ago. The director remembers giving her a tour of the center. Ann said she was checking it out for her elderly aunt. She was particularly interested in the art department. She claimed her aunt liked to draw.”
“Oh, my goodness. That’s it. That’s why her picture is familiar.” Goose bumps broke out along Allie’s arms. “Ann visited one of my classes. We get lots of visitors, so it didn’t strike me until now.”
“As far as the administration knows, she hasn’t been back. But they’ll be on the lookout for her. They alerted security, too. For all the good that will do.”
Allie reacted with a tight nod. Security was an inexperienced rent-a-cop in a uniform.
Distracted, she glanced at the fruit salad and yogurt she’d brought, but she wasn’t hungry anymore. “I promised to call Daniel.”
“Tell him I’ll be around if he needs me.”
“Thanks, Rex.”
“Sure thing.” He patted her knee before he departed, with his sunglasses still in place.
Allie dialed Daniel on her cell phone, but his voice mail message came on. He was probably assisting in surgery. That was about the only time he wasn’t able to answer his phone. She left him a message and told him to call Rex for the details.
After she hung up, she looked around, troubled by her surroundings. The senior center seemed different now.
Ominous, she thought.
Once she returned to her classroom, she felt better.
But was it a false sense of security? She honestly didn’t know.
Chapter 15
After the final class of the day ended, Louise asked Allie if she would stay after for a little while to help her with the “Painting with Attitude” lesson.
“I know it’s a lot to expect, but I’m having such a hard time with it,” the older lady said.
“I don’t mind.” At this point, Allie needed to be needed. After everything she’d been through, including Daniel’s rejection and the knowledge that Ann had stalked her at work, she could use an emotional break.
“Oh, thank you. I felt funny asking, but your classes are really important to me.” Louise made a bashful expression. “I have another favor to ask, too. If I stay after, I’ll miss my bus. Do you think you could give me a ride home afterward?”
“No problem.” Allie didn’t mind helping out. “By the way, I wanted to let you that my boyfriend loved the fruitcake.”
“Oh, my. Really?” Shy Louise beamed. Then she glanced at the floor, as if she didn’t want Allie to catch her looking so happy.
She definitely needed the extra “Painting with Attitude” tutoring. The elderly woman was much too insecure.
Louise lifted her head. “Did you know that I’m part Native American, too?”
“No, I didn’t.” She’d assumed Louise was some sort of ethnic mix, but with her powdery skin and over-blushed cheeks, her heritage was difficult to define. “Then you definitely need to draw upon your inner warrior and use it in your paintings.”
“That sounds fun.”
“We’ll get started in a minute,” Allie said. “I have to make a phone call first.”
Leaving Louise at the ba
ck of the room, she headed to her desk and removed her purse from the bottom drawer. She retrieved her cell phone, knowing Daniel would want to be informed that she was going to be late. Otherwise, he would worry.
Once she got him on the line, her pulse quickened. Just hearing his voice affected her.
“Did you talk to Rex?” she asked, following up on the P.I.’s visit and the message she’d left for Daniel earlier.
“Yes, I did. Are you okay, Allie?”
She knew he meant emotionally. “I’m fine.” She glanced at Louise, who was gazing at a blank canvas. “But I’m going to be a little late. I’m staying after with one of my students. She asked me if I’d give her a ride home, too.”
“Which student?”
“Louise Archer.”
“The fruitcake lady?”
“Yes.” Allie spoke quietly. “She’s struggling with our current lesson.”
“Will you call me before you head home?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Thanks.” He paused. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
Because of the stalker, she thought. Because he felt responsible for what was happening. “I think about you, too.” Because she loved him. Because she feared that he would never return her affection.
“It won’t be like this forever,” he told her. “Once we find Ann, things will be normal again.”
Allie didn’t even know what normal was anymore. “I better go.” Talking to him wasn’t easing the tension. She was actually feeling worse.
“Don’t forget to call me later.”
“I won’t.”
They said goodbye and hung up, and she returned to her student.
Louise took one look at her and asked, “Are you all right? You seem upset. Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes, she did. But she couldn’t, not without telling the older woman about the stalker. “Thanks, but I’m fine.”
Louise dropped the subject, and they spent a couple of hours on the lesson. Afterward, Allie locked the art room and drove her student home.
She lived in Silver Lake, a district east of Hollywood and known for its eclectic neighborhoods. Her house was small, built in the 1940s, with a rustic porch and positioned on a grassy lot.
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