by Vicki Grant
I suddenly feel really sad. I think of all the stuff Mom does for the poor, the underdogs, the people most of us try not to even look at. I know all celebrities have their causes. You sort of have to, if you don’t want to look like a complete selfish jerk. But Mom—I don’t know—I don’t think it’s just a publicity stunt for her. I think cruelty or injustice or whatever you call it really bothers her.
I wonder if that’s why she changed her name. Maybe it wasn’t just the pregnancy. Was she ashamed of being a Ingram? Ashamed of even being connected to Port Minton because of what happened to the Bisters?
Mrs. Hiltz is looking at me funny. I must be doing that thing with my face again.
“This is petty, I know,” she says, and smiles, “but I wonder how differently the story would have ended if the Bisters had only figured out how to keep themselves clean. You’re too polite to laugh but it’s true. People judge one another on the silliest criteria. Embree Bister—do you know who I mean?—he isn’t the most charming man I’ve ever met but he’s smart and well-read. If he ever sold Bister Island, he’d be rich too. I’d bet my bottom dollar that with a bath, a haircut and a new wardrobe, he’d have women lining up for him…”
I try to give her one of those you could be right faces but it’s hard. I get a flash of Embree cleaned up and out on a date. I feel my gag reflex kicking in. I presume Mrs. Hiltz forgot to mention a new set of teeth too—or just how desperate are the women around here? I can hardly wait to tell Levi about this. He’ll die laughing.
The dog on the carpet suddenly lurches to life and trots over to the door.
Mrs. Hiltz says, “Casper? What is it, boy?” then stands up and looks out the window. She fluffs up her hair and checks her face in the reflection. The way she’s primping, I half wonder if Embree is coming by to pick her up for a night on the town.
“Oh goodness, look who’s here!” she says. I can hear the happiness in her voice. She’s at the door before it opens.
A big bald middle-aged guy walks in. She tilts her head up and kisses him on the cheek. “Hello, dear,” she says. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Hi, Mum. I can’t find my cufflinks for that nomination dinner. You wouldn’t have an old pair of Dad’s, would you?”
She shakes her head and laughs, the perfect adoring mother. “Oh, you’re just saying that.” She turns and sort of whispers to me, “He’s always dropping in to make sure I’m still breathing. He treats me like I’m an old lady!” She starts wiping off his jacket and straightening his tie. “Let me just fix you up for a moment and then I’ll introduce you to my new friend.” She doesn’t actually spit on a hankie and wipe his face but you can tell she’s dying to.
“There. Now you’re presentable.” She turns him around to look at me. Too bad he’s bald because otherwise he’d be pretty good-looking. He smiles like he actually means it.
“This young lady, believe it or not, is another Opal! Opal Schwartz—this is my son, Percy. He’s running in the upcoming election.”
Percy shakes his head. “Not quite, Mother. Only if I win the nomination.”
She gives one of those silly-boy! looks. “Of course you’ll win! And you’ll win the seat too! Then all you’ll have to do is provide me with a grandchild and I’ll be perfectly happy!”
She’s clearly enjoying teasing him. He looks up at the ceiling, like spare me. It makes me laugh.
I check my watch. It’s almost five. I shouldn’t have gone off on that tangent about the feud. I’d like to ask Mrs. Hiltz more about the Ingrams but she’s not going to want me horning in on sherry time.
“Thanks, Mrs. Hiltz,” I say. “I better get going. I’ve got to bike back to the hostel.”
She makes this cartoony pout. I wonder if she was a flirt when she was young. “So soon?” she says. “I did so enjoy our little chat. Promise me you’ll come again.”
“Sure. I’d love to. I have lots more questions I’d like to ask you.”
“Marvellous! Then it’s a deal.” She shakes my hand. “My…you have such large hands for a girl! I bet you’d be good at cleaning fish too!”
Great. Just what I want to hear. I try to look like that’s a compliment. (Who knows? Maybe around here it is.)
All of a sudden, Mrs. Hiltz stops talking. She turns my hand this way and that, as if she’s mesmerized by it or something. It’s really awkward.
Percy does this exaggerated eye-roll. “Mum! What are you doing to the poor girl?”
She looks up. She shakes her head as if she’s coming out of a trance.
“Oh sorry, dear! I’m fine. I…I…well, I guess I was expecting to see an opal ring! All us Opals wear rings.” She points at her own. “Someday, a nice man will buy you one. Just you wait.”
Percy opens the door for me. “Don’t listen to her.” He says it like he’s giving me some really, really serious advice. I can tell he’s a bit of a joker. “Never expect anything from a man. It’ll only get you into trouble.”
I wave goodbye and wonder if he knows Levi.
36
Tuesday, 5 p.m.
You, You and Mimi
“Love Crazy—Part 1.” Mimi gathers a group of her celebrity friends to dish about the ill-advised things they did for love.
My plan was just to get on my bike and ride home, but as I’m cycling down Main Street I see a rusty brown van in front of the hardware store.
The rusty brown van. It’s not every girl’s dream car but it’s mine.
I ride right past it because, I mean, what else can I do? I can’t just stop. I can’t just go in and say, Hi, Levi, I’m here! Krystal could pull it off maybe but not me.
I’m halfway over the bridge when I realize I can’t go back to the hostel. I have to turn around and bike past the hardware store again. I have to. Treat opportunities like gift certificates to your favourite store. Cash them in before you lose them. That’s what Michael Davis—Mimi’s life coach—always says. Normally I think he’s full of it but now I see the wisdom. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I just went home without even trying.
I smooth my hair, suck in my gut and ride really slowly past the hardware store. Maybe Levi will notice and call me over.
When he does, I’ll pretend I don’t hear him. Then when he calls again, I’ll sort of jump and swing around with my hand on my chest. I’ll say something like Oh, you scared me. I didn’t know you were here!
Am I nuts? I can’t even talk half the time Levi’s around. Now I’m supposed to pull off some Oscar-winning performance?
I pick up speed and don’t stop pedalling until I’m almost back at Mrs. Hiltz’s. This is crazy. I better go home before I do something I regret.
But I don’t. I can’t blame it on Michael Davis any more either. It’s me doing this now—but it’s a me I barely recognize. I spend weeks of my life when I can’t even get up off the couch, when I can’t move. Now I have to move. It’s like I’m obsessed or possessed or jet-propelled or something. I’m going back to the hardware store whether my brain thinks I should or not.
I ride back as fast as I can because it dawns on me that while I was sitting there wondering what I should do, Levi could have been driving away without me and I’d have missed my chance.
As soon as I see that his van’s still parked out front, I slow down. I slow down so much that the bike wobbles. It’s like I’m a kid out on a two-wheeler for the first time.
What if he’s not in the van? What if he’s in the store? I can’t ride by again. I do have some pride.
I’ll just go in. I’ll buy something.
Buy what?
What difference does it make?
A hammer. Yes. I’ll buy a hammer.
I pull up and lean my bike against the store window. I’m all klutzy. It slips down a couple of times before I can make it stay.
I look up just as Levi’s coming out the door. My lungs inflate as if they’re airbags and I just crashed into a brick wall. He’s carrying a couple big grey sacks of cement.
&nb
sp; “Hey! Opal!” he says with this huge smile. His black eye is mostly green now. He leans over and kisses me right on the mouth.
I jump back. The airbags inflate again. I can’t believe he kissed me. My face goes blank but my mouth is buzzing like I overdosed on lip-plumping gel.
He laughs. “Did I surprise you—or did you just feel that spark of electricity go between us?”
I stand there doing this fish-gasping-for-air thing. He jerks his head at the van. “Get the back door for me, would you?”
I open it. He drops the bags on the floor with a big thump.
A guy in a store uniform comes up behind him carrying some tools and puts them in the van too. Something about him gives me the creeps.
Levi goes, “Thanks,” and then puts his hand on my shoulder. “Gershom Bister, this is Opal Schwartz. She’s here in town doing some research on Port Minton.”
The guy looks straight at me for a couple of seconds, turns around and leaves. Levi watches him go into the store, then says, “Don’t take offence. He’s just shy. He’s not a bad guy.”
I manage to say, “That’s okay.”
I’ve got all these things I want to tell Levi, questions I want to ask him, but I’m too awkward. I don’t know if it was the kiss or running into the Embree clone or just being this close to Levi again—but I’m totally messed up. I just stand there, looking away, dying.
“So,” he says, “what are you doing here, all gussied up like that?”
He noticed. That just makes things worse.
“Oh. Um,” I say, “I just came to—you know, like—buy a hammer.”
He leans against the van with his legs apart and his arms folded across his chest. He says, “A hammer.”
“Yeah,” I say. “A hammer. They sell hammers here, don’t they?” I try to look at him but I just can’t. He’s so cute and I’m such a bad liar.
“They do,” he says. “It’s a hardware store. They got lots of hammers.” He seems to find that funny.
“So what’s the big deal, then?” I try to sound all huffy.
“Nothing. I’m just wondering what you need a hammer for. Planning on building something?”
I go, “Yeah.”
“Really?” he says. “What?”
“Well. Uh…” My brain sits there like a big lump of raw meat.
Levi starts laughing. His whole body’s shaking. He reaches out and puts his hands on my shoulders. “You are so lame! I saw you riding back and forth. You didn’t come for a hammer. You came to see me!”
I push him away. I go, “I did not!” I’m trying not to laugh.
He pulls me into a hug and rocks me back and forth. “You did so! C’mon! Admit it!” He nuzzles his face into my neck. He’s all scratchy.
I’m laughing despite myself. “Okay, okay,” I say. “Now would you quit it?” even though I don’t want him to.
“No,” he says. “Why should I?”
“Because everybody’s looking!”
He keeps hanging onto me but he lifts his head and looks over my shoulder. “Like who, for instance?”
“That lady over there.” I suddenly realize she is looking at us. I’m embarrassed.
He waves. “Hi, Mrs. Copps!” She waves back at him. “Don’t worry about her. She’s my old grade five teacher. She’s used to me.”
“She’s used to you, is she? So you do this all the time?” I pull myself away.
“Now, now, that’s not what I meant and you know it. Come here…” He pulls me back.
He’s doing that thing against my neck again when this girl walks up and says, “Hi, Levi.”
I jump away with my shoulders up and my arms straight at my sides as if some general just yelled, “Attention!” I’m terrified it’s Krystal—but it’s not. It’s just that skinny friend of hers.
Levi goes, “Hi, Rachel.”
No big deal. She gives him one of those twiddly-finger waves and keeps walking.
He takes me by the hand again but that’s all. He can tell by the look on my face that he’s not going to get away with nuzzling anymore.
He checks his watch. “Look. I got to help my uncle with a retaining wall tonight—but I got to eat first. Want to go down to the park and share a couple of sandwiches with me?” He sidles up to me again. “I don’t usually offer to share my meal with anybody, but since I know you don’t eat much…”
I roll my eyes and try to look reluctant. “Yeah, okay. I don’t have anything else to do right now so, like, I may as well…”
He pulls his eyebrows way down like he’s all concerned. “You sure? You don’t have to clean your ears or clip your toenails or anything important like that?”
I stick my tongue out at him. He sticks his tongue out at me.
Next thing I know he throws my bike in the back of the van and we’re heading down to a little park near the bridge. There’s nobody there. Levi gets an old blanket out of the van. We put it on the ground and sit against a tree, our shoulders touching. The river’s sparkly. There’s a bit of a breeze. Levi takes out this big bag full of food.
I go, “That’s all for you?”
“I said I’d share!” He hands me half a bologna sandwich. Before I can take a bite, he kisses me again. “I’m glad you came back,” he says. “Gershom was taking so long at the cash, I was worried I was going to miss you.”
I look at my sandwich and try not to implode. What am I supposed to say to that? Sometimes being too happy is as bad as being too sad.
He nudges me. “Eat up or I’m confiscating my sandwich.”
We pass a carton of chocolate milk back and forth. We work our way through his food. Eventually we talk. I knew he’d laugh when I told him what Mrs. Hiltz said about all the women Embree could have if he just cleaned up his act.
“That’s totally like Mrs. Hiltz.” He doesn’t say it in a nasty way. Everybody seems to like her.
“What do you mean?” I say.
“She’s, just, you know, proper or something. She’s not a snob or anything, but trust me—you’d never see her outside without lipstick on. She puts a lot of importance on that kind of thing. And you know, she probably has a point.”
“About lipstick?”
“Nooo.” He practically knocks me over with his elbow. “About the Bisters. People are stupid. We’d probably all rather spend time with a clean jerk than a dirty good person.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “I’m happy here with you.” I make this big deal about looking at his filthy T-shirt.
“Ha-ha,” he says. “I could take it off if you want.”
I go, “Keep your clothes on, if you don’t mind,” and look away so he doesn’t know what I’m thinking.
After a while he says, “What are you thinking?”
I have to come up with something. I say, “Why didn’t you tell me Mrs. Hiltz’s name was Opal too?”
He makes this exasperated face.
“I tried to tell you on the way to Port Minton but you were all in your snobby don’t talk to me you lowly underling mood. I said something like, ‘Want to know something neat about Mrs. Hiltz?’ and you went, ‘No.’ Remember?”
I’m embarrassed. I say, “Vaguely.”
He goes, “You are so lucky I put up with you. The crap you dish out…”
He stands up, then pulls me up too. I can’t help laughing at myself. He’s right. I can be such a jerk. He puts his hands in my hair on either side of my head. I stop laughing. I freeze.
He says, “Do they call this auburn?”
I shrug. “Yeah. I guess.”
“It’s pretty. It’s kind of red where the sun shines on it.”
“Thank you,” I say. I feel ridiculous. We just sort of stand there. I try not to look at him but he tilts my face back up. He’s smiling.
“My damn uncle,” he says. “Why’d I go and say I’d do this for him?”
He takes his hands out of my hair and rubs them down the sides of my arms. He leaves them on my hips. He closes his eyes, takes a b
ig breath and shakes his head.
“We better go. I can’t trust myself,” he says. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
I don’t know what my reaction to that is but it makes him laugh.
“Again, Opal, that was a compliment. You don’t have to look so horrified every time I compliment you.”
He gets my bike out of the back of his van. “You better start home now. There’s still a good hour or so before sunset but I wouldn’t want you on the highway after that.”
“Yes, Dad,” I say. Sometimes I just can’t help myself.
“Okay. Fine,” he says. “Make fun of me all you want. I just want to be sure I can see you tomorrow.”
He puts one hand on the handlebar and one on the seat, then leans over the bike and kisses me. It’s just a little kiss. It doesn’t seem like a Charming Billy kiss at all.
When it stops, I say, “Me too. I want to see you tomorrow too.”
Finding that old ring suddenly seems like the best thing that ever happened to me. This probably sounds exactly like something Mimi would say but—I wonder if that’s the reason fate sent me here.
37
Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.
You, You and Mimi
“Unsafe at Any Speed.” Mimi adopts road safety as her new cause—and not a moment too soon. Eighty-four percent of her studio audience fails the test on basic driving rules.
I do leave right away—just as soon as Levi’s van disappears around the corner and there’s no hope of me getting another glimpse of him.
I head off down the highway. The sun’s beginning to set but it’s not dark yet. There’s no fog or rain or wind. There aren’t a whole bunch of cars on the road. It’s like you’d expect, pretty much deserted.
I’m a bit lost in my daydreams but I’m not totally out of it. I manage to pull over onto the shoulder every time a car comes by. I always make sure there’s lots of room to go around me. I want to see Levi again too.