Upon a Midnight Clear

by Jude Deveraux

She nodded. "Ah, yes," she said quickly. She had done more than just meet him, but for some reason, she didn't feel like this was an appropriate time to discuss her budding romance.

  Tony knocked on the door and peeked his head in. "Good morning, Harold," he said. "Kim," he said quickly.

  "Doctor," Kim said, acknowledging him as she avoided his eyes. Talk about timing.

  "You were supposed to be here a half an hour ago," her father said sternly.

  "I'm sorry," Tony said, picking up her father's chart and looking at it. "I… well, I was delayed."

  "I bet," her father said, irritated.

  Kim stood up. "I… urn, I'm going to go get some coffee. Dad, do you want something?"

  Her question seemed to soften him. He smiled at her warmly. "No thanks, dear."

  She nodded. ''I'll be in the cafeteria," she said, glancing at Tony as she headed for the door.

  Kim was on her way out of the cafeteria when she saw Tony. He was scanning the room and smiled when he anally saw her. "Ms. Risson," he said, hurrying to catch up with her. "Why didn't you wake me up when you left?" he whispered in her ear as he walked alongside her.

  "Because you were sleeping," she said casually. "Besides, I didn't know you had an early morning appointment with my father."

  "That's all right," he joked. "When I explained that I was late because you forgot to wake me, your father understood completely."

  Kim looked at him, alarmed. "What?"

  He smiled as he discreetly took her arm. "I had a feeling you didn't tell your father who you were with last night."

  "The subject didnt come up."

  "Hmm," he said, steering her into a deserted storage room. "Come here for a minute," he said, pulling her inside. He shut the door behind them and kissed her passionately.

  She pulled back to say, "I feel like a schoolgirl necking in the boys' John."

  "Oh, really," he said, nuzzling her ear. "Is that something you did often, you wild girl, you?"

  "Not really. Never, actually. But I always thought it was a great idea."

  He pulled down the collar on her sweater and began to leave a trail of soft, butterfly kisses on her neck. "Will I see you tonight?" he whispered in between kisses.

  She stretched out her neck as she closed her eyes. "A second date? I'm flattered you're willing to invest the time in me," she teased him.

  "How about dinner?" he asked softly, brushing his lips up her neck toward her ear.

  "Maybe," she murmured.

  He delicately ran his tongue around the inside of her earlobe.

  She swallowed. It was becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate.

  "Maybe I'll pick you up at seven-thirty?" he breathed into her ear.

  "Do you know where my father lives?"

  He pulled back and smiled at her, cupping her face in his hands as he brushed her lips with his fingers. "I'll find you. Don't worry." He gave her a hug good-bye, just as his beeper went off. "I’ll see you at seven," he said, holding her hand tightly before they parted in the hallway.

  Kim glanced at her watch. It was almost eight o'clock. Tony had called earlier to let her know that he was delayed, but she was starving.

  Get used to it, she told herself. If she was embarking on a relationship with a heart surgeon of Tony's stature, she'd have to get used to eating meals by herself.

  She walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboards. Her eyes lit up as she spotted the jar of Ragu. She hoped Tony liked Italian.

  Kim hesitated as she remembered all the meals she and her mother had eaten by themselves, in that very kitchen. She knew that her mother had not lived the life she had intended. Her mother had come from a large, warm, loving family, where everyone had sat down to dinner together. She had never adjusted to having a husband who left early in the morning and did not return until late at night.

  Kim poured the Ragu into a pan. She reminded herself that she was not her mother, nor was she in the same situation. She was not marrying Tony—she was simply enjoying his company. He was a fun, talented man, and doctor or not, she liked him. End of subject.

  She busied herself with dinner, and by the time the doorbell rang, dinner was ready and a fire was blazing in the fireplace.

  Kim opened the door, anxious to see Tony.

  He stood on the porch, his fit athletic form outlined in the moonlight. He was wearing a turtleneck, jeans, and an L. L. Bean jacket and was holding a bouquet of flowers in front of him.

  "Hi," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "These are for you," he added and handed her the flowers.

  "Thank you," Kim said, admiring the bouquet. First his coat, then the flowers. She'd better watch out for this one.

  She glanced up at him. Her enthusiasm faded as she looked into his eyes. His beautiful eyes were a bloodshot red, and deep, dark circles were etched beneath. He looked as if he was ready to fall over from exhaustion.

  "Sorry I'm late," he said.

  "What's the matter?" she asked, ushering him inside.

  "Bad day," he said.

  "How bad?" she asked, taking his coat.

  "I was on my way out the door when one of my patients simply stopped breathing."

  "Is the patient okay?"

  He nodded. "Now he is. But it was touch and go for a while. The guy is young, too. Only forty—with a wife and a baby." He sighed. "It just tears you apart."

  Kim nodded in sympathy as she thought of the pain the family must have experienced. She turned her attention back toward Tony, trying to comprehend the terrible duress of his day. In the dim light of the hall he looked older than his years, weighted down by the heavy burden of sadness and responsibility. She wondered how many times her father had come home suffering from the same burden.

  Standing in the hall of her parents' home, holding Tony's coat in one hand, the flowers in the other, Kim couldn't help but compare herself to the ghosts that had stood in this very hall twenty years before.

  Tony glanced at Kim and flashed her a tired half smile. "I'm sorry. I'll snap out of it. I know I have to work on leaving it all at the office, but it's difficult. I haven't developed that tough outer shell that, according to your father, is a necessity in this business. He feels that if a physician becomes too personally involved with his patients, it not only affects his professionalism, but can lead to early burnout as well."

  "But I thought you said that he did get involved… with the little girl that needed a transplant…"

  Tony nodded. "He did. I guess even the masters have their weak moments." He shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. "In any case…" he said, then hesitated as though he was seeing her for the first time. "You look beautiful." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her to him, and kissed her. "Mmm," he whispered, smiling. "I feel better already." Still holding her close, he paused, looking into the living room.

  Kim almost laughed at the expression on Tony's face as he caught a glimpse of the decor. "Kind of makes you want to head out to a disco, doesn't it?" Kim asked.

  He glanced around at the heavy wood paneling and the rust brown shag carpeting. "Now that you mention it."

  "My father hasn't changed anything since my mother and I left," she said, breaking away from Tony's embrace. She carefully set the flowers on the entrance table before hanging his coat in the closet.

  "What's that," he asked, pointing to the thick wool rug in front of the fireplace.

  "The rug?"

  "It's a rug? I thought it was some kind of animal," he joked.

  "My high school boyfriends used to call it the make-out rug."

  "Were they speaking from experience or are these the same guys you were meeting in the bathroom?" Tony eyes seemed to brighten as he watched the corners of Kim's lip turn up in a smile.

  "These would be the bathroom guys," she said.

  He grinned as he turned back toward the portrait over the mantle. "Is that you?"

  Kim shut the closet door and picked up the bouquet. "Me when I was five. And my mother and fathe
r."

  Tony stepped down into the living room and walked in front of the portrait for a better look. "Your mother was beautiful."

  "Yes. Yes, she was."

  "And look at you," he said, admiring the portrait. "You've always been beautiful, haven't you?"

  Kim rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

  "You are, you know."

  For some reason, Kim always responded to flattery as though she was still an adolescent. And this time was no different. "Are you hungry?" she asked, changing the subject,

  "Is that dinner I smell?" he responded, surprised and pleased.

  Kim nodded. "Since you were running late, I thought we'd just eat here. I hope you don't mind."

  "Mind? I love it! So you can cook, too," he said teasingly.

  "As a matter of fact," she replied, "we're having my specialty," she said, heading to the kitchen to find a vase for her flowers.

  After they had eaten and put the dishes in the dishwasher, Kim gave Tony a tour of the downstairs.

  "You have a pool back there?"

  Kim nodded. "My father does. Yes."

  "You should take the cover off. It would make a great rink."

  "Oh, sure," she said and laughed, certain that he was joking. "Right"

  "No, I'm serious."

  "I'll mention it to my dad. I'm sure he'll get right on it. I can just envision him doing a few pirouettes in the middle there."

  Tony laughed. "Your father needs to start exercising. He's thin, but he's in terrible condition."

  "So tell him."

  "Harkavey's already told him," he said. "Your father can be very stubborn—a trait he's passed on to someone else I know." He smiled. Holding on to his glass of wine, he stepped into the den and pointed to a canvas that sat on the easel "Is that yours?"

  She nodded.

  "Can I take a look?"

  "Sure," she said. "It's almost finished." She turned on the light and nodded toward the painting. "It's a Christmas present. For my father."

  He moved closer to the painting, visibly affected by the stunning impact of colors and shapes. A rich deep purple now twisted around the strong red lines. Clouds of a light, ethereal yellow lifted out of the dark green background. "It's wonderrul"

  Kim glanced at him, trying to determine the truthfulness of his reaction. He seemed to be sincere. "I was having a lot of trouble with this. When I decided to paint it for my father, it all came together."

  "How so?"

  "Purple represents my father. It's a strong, stubborn color, a lot like him. The red is a signal of love, the yellow… hope."

  "And the green?"

  "A good background color." She smiled. "I hope he likes it"

  Tony nodded as he swirled his glass of wine. "You know, Kim," he said, hesitating. "I spoke with Harkavey today, and your father should be getting out of the hospital in a couple of weeks. I was just wondering… do you think you'll be staying in Ann Arbor when he gets out?"

  She shook her head as she glanced back at the painting. "I don't know. I wasn't planning on it. But it depends on how my father is doing."

  He took a step toward her and set down his glass. "Your father is going to be just fine. I was still hoping that you might stay, though," he said.

  She sighed as she brought the conversation back to her father. "How do you know for certain hell be fine? How does anyone know?"

  "Trust me," he said quietly, tracing the outline of her lips with his index finger.

  She smiled as his lips drifted toward hers. "Sounds like you've said that before."

  He took her hand and led her back into the living room. He sat down on the couch facing the fire and pulled her on top of him, so that she was straddling his lap. "I know you think you know all about me, but you may not be as perceptive as you think you are."

  "I find that hard to believe," she said, her eyes twinkling playfully.

  He took her in his arms and kissed her so deeply she heard herself sigh with desire. "If you just give me a chance," he whispered while she attempted to catch her breath, "you might find out that we're more suited for each other than you think."

  "I should tell you now that doctors aren't my type," she said, as his lips wandered to her neck.

  "Even ones that can fix broken hearts?" he asked, his hand slipping inside her shirt. His fingers swept over her chest, lightly massaging the area over her heart.

  "Even ones that talk like they write for Hallmark," she murmured, closing her eyes as he skillfully unsnapped her bra.

  "Then it's very kind of you to let me stay here and nibble on you," he said, his hand grazing her bare breast.

  "I'm like that," she said, as his fingers found her nipple, tugging on it gently. "Very kind." She hugged him tightly, feeling the warmth of his body meld with hers. She slid her hands under his shirt and ran them up his muscled back.

  Tony gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You're shaking," he said quietly. "Are you frightened—or cold?"

  "I'm a… a little of both," she admitted.

  He smiled a kind, sweet smile. "Don't worry. There's nothing to be frightened of," he said, brushing her hair back away from her face. "I really care about you—I mean that."

  Kim closed her eyes as she ran her hand up his toned arm, holding it against her. She kissed his hand. "I care about you, too. I just—I didn't plan on this."

  He lifted her hair and began kissing her softly on the back of her neck. "Being here with you… I can forget about everything else. It's just you and me. That's all that seems important."

  All her fears melted away as a slow burning desire began to creep over her. It was enough to make her stop behaving like a frightened little gut

  Kim pulled away from his arms and stood up, so that she was facing him with her back to the fire. He leaned up on one arm, watching her, curiously awaiting her next move. She slid out of her pants and shirt, standing in front of him wearing only her unsnapped bra and panties. She saw him inhale slightly with excitement as his eyes held her, encouraging her to continue. "I don't want to get cold," she said, teasing him.

  "I promise that you'll never have to worry about that when I'm around," he said, enjoying the intimate banter.

  Kim smiled slightly as she pulled off her bra, leaving on only her silky white panties.

  Tony's eyes drifted over the curves of her pale form, drinking in each detail. "What kind of spell have you cast on me?" he murmured. He slid down onto the floor, kneeling in front of Kim as he pulled her to him, running his tongue lightly over her firm stomach.

  "Tony," Kim teased as she glanced down at him, running her fingers through his thick, curly hair, "I'm curious. What's involved in this broken heart treatment of yours?"

  He lay down on the soft white rug and pulled her on top of him. "I've already done the most difficult part."

  "Oh?" she said curiously.

  "I gave you my heart," he explained softly as he took her index finger and traced it around the right side of his chest. "But now, I have a very special recovery in mind for you."

  "And what might that be?" Kim teased softly, enjoying the effect she was having on him.

  Still holding on to her index finger, he brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. "It's very important that you close your eyes, relax… and let me love you," he said, his voice growing heavy with desire.

  He gently pulled her down in front of him, so that her back was facing the fire. Shifting his weight so that he could lean on one arm, he stared intently into her eyes. He lifted her chin with his finger so that she was looking at him, and then he used that same finger to draw an imaginary tine down her body, starting with her shoulder and ending with her little toe. "You are perfect," he said, as his finger drifted back up her body, lightly brushing the tip of her nipple.

  Kim smiled. "That's three," she said out loud. First the coat, then the flowers, and finally the sweet comment about her body.

  "What?"

  Kim leaned over and slid her hands around the inside of
his jeans. "I think I'm ready for my treatment"

  He grinned as he pulled her beside him. It was an offer he had no intention of refusing.

  "I've decided to stay through the holidays," Kim announced.

  Her father smiled. "But," he said, becoming concerned, "what about your show?"

  "I called the gallery owner this morning. I explained what was going on, and he said he didn't think it was necessary for me to be there. He said it might even add to my allure if I wasn't there—make me seem more mysterious."

  "Mysterious?"

  She shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't quite sure what he meant either. But I didn't want to push it. I was just happy I didn't have to go back."

  He nodded, his face solemn.

  Kim said, "I thought you'd be happy."

  He took her hand. "I am. I just don't want you to harm your career because of your concern over me. I'll be just fine."

  She glanced away. "Don't you want me to stay?"

  "Of course," he said quietly, giving her a weak smile. "It'll be the first Christmas I've celebrated in quite a while."

  Kim had often wondered what her father had done on the holidays. She just assumed he had spent them with friends. Or a new family. But from the lack of visitors in his hospital room, she was beginning to realize that had not been the case. "What do you usually do?"

  He shrugged his shoulders. "Work."

  "Well, this year will be different. I'm going to get a tree later on today. This Christmas you're going to have atraditional Christmas dinner."

  He nodded as a wave of sadness crossed his face.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  "I just… I've missed so much. I… I just… well, I'm glad that you're here," he said, repeating her something he had told her many times already. "I've always tried to keep tabs on you, even when we weren't speaking. Many times I picked up the phone… but I just couldn't bring myself to dial the number." He shook his head. "I've been a lousy father. Stubborn pride."

  Kim shrugged. "Fortunately for both of us, we still have the future to look forward to."

  "Yes," he agreed. "And Christmas."

  "How about this one?"

  Kim shook her head. Tony was standing beside a tree that had to be at least fifteen feet tall. "Too small," she said, laughing. She pointed to a tree that was tucked away in the corner. "That's the one. That's the one I like," she said excitedly.