by Leger, Lori
Lexie turned a curious gaze up to her mother. “Mama?”
Giselle nodded sheepishly. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Lexie nodded, obviously accepting the proposal without question. “You’re tall, Jackson. So is he!” She pointed at Bill. “They sure grow ‘em big where you come from.”
Jackson and Bill chuckled. “That’s my Uncle Bill, Lex, but he’s been like my dad for a long, long time.”
Her small face turned serious. “But why?”
“I lost both of my parents in a car accident when I was the same age you are now.” He placed a finger lightly on the tip of her nose. “I was lucky, because I had Uncle Bill.”
Lexie’s eyes grew large. “You lost your daddy and your mama? You must have been really sad. I know how sad I am that I don’t have my daddy anymore. But I still have my mama.”
Jackson glanced up at Giselle’s trembling chin then back down to the adorable little girl. “You know, Lexie, your daddy was a great friend of mine and he always said how much he loved his girls.” He placed the tip of his finger over her heart. “But you’ll always have him—right here.”
“Yeah, that’s what mama says, too, but it’s just not the same.” Something caught the child’s attention and as quickly as she appeared, she ran off, her curls bouncing with each step.
Giselle wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Jackson, I’m really sorry about that.”
He rose slowly, the effort causing him to grimace. “Don’t worry about it.” Damn knee.
She placed her hands on the shoulders of a beautiful, female version of Toby. “This is Mackenzie.”
He gazed down at the six year old, with her father’s straight black hair and huge brown eyes. “Hello, Mackenzie. It’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand and she shook it.
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Jackson. Everybody calls me Mac. I knew you weren’t Satan. My dad told me you were a good dude.”
Jackson beamed. “Well, thanks Mac, that means a lot to me.”
Her brown-eyed gaze landed on Bill. “Are you his Uncle?”
Bill nodded, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “I sure am. I’m his Uncle Bill.”
Her gaze moved to Jackson, then back to Bill. “You don’t look old enough to be his uncle.”
His uncle’s face broke out in a huge grin. “Well, thanks, little lady. You just made my day. I promise you, I am.”
She smiled shyly at the older man before running off to meet her sister.
Jackson could see his uncle was obviously as taken with the girls as he was. “Photos don’t do them justice, Giselle. They’re beautiful, and you should be proud.”
“I am, most of the time. Oh, but Lexie!”
He couldn’t conceal the laughter from his tone. “That child is your clone, Giselle. She even has your mannerisms.”
Giselle groaned. “I guess so.” She glanced at Toby’s casket then back at Jackson. “Are you ready?” she asked quietly.
He nodded. “I guess I’ve put it off long enough.”
Jackson walked up to the casket that held the man who’d been as close as any brother for the past year. He only thought he was prepared.
Turned out he wasn’t.
Seeing him there. Eyes closed, mouth sealed shut, his hands together and clutching a rosary. Well shit. Nothing could have prepared him for that.
“Oh, man. Oh, Toby.” He pulled out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes. Jackson felt a light touch on his arm and turned to gaze down into Giselle’s tear-filled eyes. “Giselle, I’m so sorry. He was such a good man.”
“I know he treasured the time he spent with you, Jackson.” She stared at her husband, her face crumbling on a quiet sob. “I just …” She shook her head. “I just can’t imagine how to live without him.”
Jackson led her to a chair in the corner of the room.
Giselle dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “We were so happy, Jackson. I feel like God pointed his finger and said ‘You! Time’s up! It’s someone else’s turn to be happy.’ I know I have my girls, and I’m thankful, but how can I ever be happy again—without him?”
Jackson lowered himself into the chair across from her. He leaned forward. “I know you two had something special, but I believe God will be generous enough to send happiness your way again. In the meantime, you have your friends, and I hope you consider me one of those friends, because I’d like to help. Anything you need done around the house. If you need help with the girls. I mean it, just ask.”
“I appreciate the offer, but you have your own problems.”
His gaze landed on the flower arrangement nearest to them. He could just make out the card—realized it was from his and Giselle’s place of employment. He found himself wondering how he’d spend his evenings now that he didn’t have to dread going home to Chloe. It seemed Giselle wasn’t the only one who had to learn how to live again. “What I have now is a lot of free time on my hands.”
She twisted the tissue in her hands. “I know Chloe was demanding. She seemed … you seemed … you didn’t seem happy.”
Jackson used one finger to trace the floral pattern on the chair’s overstuffed arm. “I was miserable with her. The fact is, I’m just finding out how disturbed she was.” He cleared his throat. “It’s a long story, and we don’t need to talk about it here.” He stood and helped her to her feet. “People are starting to come in now.”
Giselle scanned the room. “I don’t see my girls. I hope they’re not up to anything.”
“I’ll find them and try to keep them out of trouble for you.”
“Thanks, I’d appreciate that,” she said, turning to greet a group of visitors.
Sam and Carrie approached. “Thanks for talking her through that one, Jack. I’ll be a basket case before this is over.”
“Yeah, well thank you, too. I don’t mind telling you, I was dreading the initial face to face with her.”
“All I did was tell her you’d overheard her comment. By then she’d already concluded you weren’t to blame.”
“That’s good to know.” He searched the room, looking for Mac and Lexie. “I told her I’d keep an eye on her girls.”
Sam leaned toward him. “They’re in the kitchen with Bill. The bakery just delivered donuts.”
Jackson made his way to the kitchen. As he got closer, he could hear the giggles of two little girls. He entered, spotted his Uncle Bill sitting at one of the tables with Giselle’s daughters. Mackenzie was telling him about the latest teen diva, while Lexie ate jelly donuts. Jackson walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee before joining the other three occupants at the table.
Lexie graced him with a cheesy grin, her face covered in what he suspected was raspberry filling. “Hello Jackson!”
He couldn’t keep from laughing. “Hello Lexie.” He dampened a napkin at the sink. Lifting her chin, he gently wiped her face free of all traces of pastry. The sweet smell of glaze and raspberries, mixed with the scent of little girl, was something completely new to him. “I can’t let your mama see you like this, Lex. She’ll think I’m not doing my job and fire me.”
Mac looked up at him, wide-eyed. “Mama gave you a job? Is she your boss now?”
Jackson grinned. “I told her I’d find you two and keep you out of trouble.”
“Huh!” Mackenzie snorted. “Good luck trying to keep Lex out of trouble. Daddy says she’s a trouble magnet.” She frowned before continuing. “Daddy said a lot of things that made me laugh, and he made mom really happy. She said so all the time, and that she thanked God for him. Maybe God will send her someone else so she can be happy again.”
Lexie turned innocent eyes on the older man. “What about you, Bill? You seem nice and you said you don’t have a wife.”
From the look on his uncle’s face, the comment took him by surprise.
“Uh—I think I’m a little too old for her. Most men my age have children the same age as your mama. She may need someone a little younger.”
Lexie suddenly turned toward Jackson. “How about you? Do you have a wife? I didn’t see you with one.”
“No. Not anymore.”
“Lex, shhh!” Mackenzie hissed. “Don’t you remember what Carrie said? His wife died in the same accident as daddy.”
Lexie’s brown furrowed adorably.
“If you lost her, why aren’t you out looking for her? I lost my Barbie’s horse once and didn’t find it for two whole days.” She shook her head. “But I never stopped looking.”
Jackson bit his lower lip to keep from laughing as Mac slapped her hand over her own forehead.
“No! She’s not lost. She’s like daddy.”
“Oh. She’s sleepin’, too. Sorry, Jackson.”
He wiped his mouth and attempted to look somber. “That’s okay, Lex.”
“Were you and your wife as happy as mama and daddy were?”
Jackson shifted uneasily in his chair. “No, not really, Lex.”
Mac locked her gaze on him, for a moment looking so much like Toby. “Why not?”
Lexie answered her sister’s question. “Because she was a piece of work, wasn’t she? I heard Daddy say that once. He said it just like that, too. “Jackson’s wife is a piece of work.” What does that mean?”
Jackson smothered more laughter. “It’s, uh—it’s kind of hard to explain.”
Lexie’s green eyes pinned him. “Was she mean?”
“Yes,” Bill answered for his nephew.
“Uncle Bill, that’s not necessary.”
Mackenzie lifted her eyes to Bill, somehow realizing he was the one to ask. “Was she just mean to Jackson, or to everyone?”
“To everyone,” Bill answered. “But she really liked to upset Jackson.”
“Uncle Bill,” Jackson admonished.
Lexie slapped both her hands on the table. “Well, I like you, Jackson. I’m glad she’s not around to be mean to everbody and upset you anymore.”
Mac threw her head back, rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Lexie! You shouldn’t say things like that. Mom would be upset with you if she heard you.”
Lexi seemed to weigh her sister’s words. “No, she’d prolly be mor…mort…morti…What’s that word she uses sometimes when I say things like that?”
The older child’s brow furrowed in concentration. “I think it’s mortified, or something like that.”
Jackson choked on his sip of coffee, while Bill covered his mouth to keep from laughing.
Giselle chose that moment to enter the kitchen. “Come on, girls,” she said. “There are some co-workers of daddy’s who would like to meet you both. You want to come with me now?”
The girls nodded and climbed down from their chairs.
“Lex, have you been in those jelly donuts?” Giselle examined her daughter’s face and hands.
“I’m clean, Mama. Jackson washed my face just like daddy does.”
Surprised by Lexie’s comment, Jackson met Giselle’s equally shocked gaze.
Lexie’s gaze moved from Giselle to Jackson and back to her mother. “Did I mortify you again, Mama?”
Giselle shook her head as Jackson and Bill worked hard to conceal their grins. “What am I going to do with you, Lex?” She herded the girls out the door, casting a glance back at Jackson. “I can only imagine what you four have been talking about in here.”
Still chuckling over Lexie’s comment, Jackson and Bill left the kitchen just as four young women entered the building through the front door. “That’s Sam and Carrie’s three girls and their daughter in law. Have you ever met them, Uncle Bill?”
“No, but I’d like to. Which ones belong to who?”
“That dark haired one is Sam’s daughter, Amanda. Those two are Carrie’s twins, Gretchen and Lauren. The tall one is Trina, their daughter in law. She’s married to Nick, Sam’s son.” Amanda turned at their approach.
“Hey Jackson, we didn’t expect to see you here. We’re all so sorry to hear about Chloe.” The other three added their condolences.
“Thanks ladies, I appreciate that. It’s been awhile. This is my Uncle, Bill Broussard.”
“Mr. Bill, didn’t I hear Carrie say you recently retired?” Amanda asked.
Bill nodded. “Somewhat. I was part owner of a small oil drilling company, but I sold most of my shares and bought myself a small ranch and some livestock. Now I mostly ride horses and work cattle.”
They all turned at Carrie and Sam’s approach.
“Is Giselle still here, Mom?” Gretchen asked.
Carrie nodded. “She doesn’t want to leave, but she needs to eat something so she can take her pain medication. I can tell she’s hurting.”
Jackson had suffered through a couple of cracked ribs before. He still remembered how bad it got if he didn’t keep the meds rolling on schedule. He left the group to find Giselle. He caught her grabbing her side, wincing, as she walked away from a couple. He hurried over, offering his arm for support. “You need to eat something now, so you can take your pain meds.”
She shook her head and placed a hand over her stomach. “Honestly, Jackson, I’m not hungry.”
“Suit yourself, but if you take that pain medication without food, you’ll be sorry. And if it wears off completely, you’ll be miserable.”
He led her past the others and straight into the kitchen area where he seated her, fixed her a plate of sandwiches, and pushed a bottle of water into her hand.
Jackson pushed the plate to Giselle. “Now eat.”
She made a face. “I’m uncomfortable eating alone.”
He placed four sandwich halves into a plate and grabbed another bottle of water, before sitting across from her.
Giselle smiled shyly at him as she nibbled at her sandwich. “What were you four discussing in here earlier?”
He cracked open his water and shook his head, unable to hide his grin. “Your girls are something else. That Lexie.”
“You don’t have to tell me. You cannot imagine some of the things that come out of that child’s mouth.”
He related the conversation as Giselle took her turn laughing and hiding her face in embarrassment.
She shook her head. “Lex should know that word mortify by now. God knows she hears me say it enough.” She lifted her hand and let it fall. “Honestly Jackson, sometimes Toby and I would just look for a place to hide.”
Jackson finished off his bottle of water. “At least she’s a child. There’s always hope she’ll outgrow it. Besides, there’s a difference between a child’s adorable honesty and—well, a grown-up just being a pain in the ass. Believe me, I’ve lived through my share of mortifying moments.” He stood to place his empty plate and water bottle in the trash receptacle. “And there was no hiding from Chloe,” he added.
“Carrie said she left a letter leaving instructions for her arrangements.”
He nodded. “An extremely informative little note, but there again, you don’t need to hear about that.”
“I’d like to, if you don’t mind telling me. It would keep me from thinking about all this.” She waved her hand.
He cleared his throat. “There was one thing that stood out. Her entire Bi-polar, depression because she couldn’t get pregnant thing was an act. She was on birth control the entire time. Didn’t want kids. Only did that to guilt me into sticking around. But …” he paused, considered not telling her the worst of it. He decided he didn’t have damn thing to lose or gain at this point by telling her. “Something went awry with her plans, because she was pregnant when she died.” He lifted his hand as Giselle gasped. “But had she lived, she had an abortion scheduled that very afternoon in Beaumont.” He shook his head, still unable to fathom how someone could be so vile. “That’s why she was so impatient when we left the coliseum the day of the accident. I stopped to let people out at the light and she was furious with me. Because she still had to make the drive to Beaumont.”
“Let’s go,” Giselle murmured.
“Excuse me?”
“Toby and I saw her
turn to you and say ‘Let’s Go’. It looked like she was screaming.”
Jackson snorted. “See what I mean? Couldn’t hide from Chloe. Not. Ever.”
“Was it always that bad?”
“The mood swings and temper-tantrums started after the first year. I’ve discovered recently that she’d slept around since day one, even at our wedding with the ‘not so’ best man.”
“Good Lord, Jackson. What kind of friends did you have?”
“He wasn’t my friend. Wasn’t supposed to be my best man. But, that’s another long story. Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday. Anyway, Chloe’s gone, and I can’t get myself to grieve for her. I think she did me a favor. I don’t have to go through this hell.”
“You’ve already been through your hell, Jackson.”
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “Those pain killers working yet?”
“Yeah, I think so.” She took a deep breath. “I can breathe now. I need to find my girls and make sure they eat some lunch, if they’re not too full on jelly donuts.”
Oh, give ’em a break today, Mom.” He helped her stand.
“I don’t know, if I give them an inch …”
The two of them walked to the front. Jackson, limping because his knee had stiffened while he sat. Giselle, with one arm clenched up to her side and the other clutching Jackson’s arm. She passed the first row of chairs where Carrie and her girls sat, gripped one side of Toby’s casket.
“Hey, Baby,” she whispered.
Jackson turned away, leaving her to speak her mind to her dead husband. No doubt whispering words of endearment even as she wondered how to go on without him.
Again, he couldn’t help thinking that if he had the chance to speak his mind to Chloe, it’d be on an entirely different level.
The morning of Toby’s funeral, Giselle woke to the sound of rolling thunder and a steady downpour of rain. The sound of overflowing gutters and rain hitting the window panes called to mind memories of the previous Friday morning. She and Toby had awakened to identical weather on what would turn out to be their last workday morning together. She’d rolled over, snuggled against her husband’s chest.