by Leger, Lori
“Never mind, Dad. You go right ahead and do it your way, just like you always do. Mom said you would do this. She knows you so well, and you don’t know her at all. I’m beginning to think you don’t deserve her after all.” She turned her back on him and disappeared into the room where her brother was waiting.
Chad turned to study the closed door before him. His wife was behind that door…soaking in a tub. The mental image had him groaning, and within seconds, adjusting the painful tightening of his jeans. Instead of barging in, as he’d intended, he walked to the end of the hallway and stared out the window that looked out onto the city lights of Houston. He stood there for a good ten minutes, reflecting on everything Miranda had told him. Finally, he lifted his head, uttering a silent prayer for a little help from the man up above.
Much calmer now, he walked slowly back to the room, using the card key to open the door. The sound of a blow dryer reached him from the bathroom and he dropped himself onto the couch to wait her out.
Julia came out of the bathroom wearing an ice blue silk pajama set, her cheeks rosy pink from the relaxing soak in the tub. She folded her clothes and placed them neatly in her bag and removed another set, draped them over the desk chair. She grabbed a book from her purse and turned toward the king size bed just as he clicked on the lamp next to the couch in the darkened corner of the room. Her startled gaze whipped around to face him.
“You scared the life out of me, Chad! What are you doing here?”
He forced himself to smile and stay calm. God she was beautiful. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I asked the kids to let us talk.”
He could tell Julia felt somewhat at a disadvantage when she turned to her suitcase looking for something.
“Dammit,” she swore barely loud enough for him to hear. “I left it in my large suitcase.”
“What?” he asked.
“My robe.” She crossed her arms before facing him.
“Please, Jules. Sit down and talk to me.”
She sat on the opposite end of the sofa, holding one of its pillows in front of her. “What do you want to talk about?”
He forced himself not to blurt out the one question bouncing around in his head. “How’s your job going?”
She looked at him, warily. “It’s fabulous.”
He nodded. “That was to be expected, of course; you’ve always done everything well.”
She frowned. “Did you hope I would go all the way over there just to fall flat on my face?”
“I only meant that everything you’ve done, you’ve excelled at. It’s called a compliment.”
She flushed, seeming to regret the jibe. “Not everything, obviously. Just look at us.”
He smiled sadly at her. “We’re just going through a rough patch, hon.”
Julia studied her husband. He looked good. Too damn good for as bad as she wanted him. She shook herself out of her husband-induced state of sexual desire. “That’s easy to say, but it doesn’t fix anything.”
“I know, Jules. But, I love you so damn much. That’s gotta count for something, doesn’t it?”
She sent him an accusing glare. “It would, if you were willing to give an inch, but I know you’re not.” She nearly gasped at the look of absolute hunger he sent her way.
“It hasn’t been so long that you’ve forgotten, has it, babe? Because I could sure as hell give you a lot more than an inch right now.”
“Stop.” She refused to give in to her dire need for him. “Are you saying you’re willing to move to England?”
“If I said yes, would you have me?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“You’re the one who left me, Julia.”
“You hurt me. I wanted you to come with me. Two years, Chad. Half of it is over already. It flew by, and you never came, never even considered it. Do you know how …” Her voice trailed off as she searched for words. “How insignificant you’ve made me feel? Insignificant and unworthy of you being inconvenienced the slightest for something so important to me.”
“You’re neither insignificant, nor unworthy, Julia. You’re my life, but you’ve always been my life here. Our home is here, not in London, England. I’m in strange places three weeks out of four. If I can’t lay my head on my own pillow, on my own bed, in my own home, for at least one week out of the month, I’ll go insane.”
“A year goes by so fast, and before you know it, we’ll be home.” She wouldn’t beg him.
His light blue eyes seemed to search hers. “Would we? What if they offered you a permanent position?”
She stiffened, biting down on her bottom lip as she saw the glint of victory in his eyes. He knows.
“When were you going to tell me, Jules?”
“I haven’t accepted it.” She stopped suddenly.
He cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. “Yet. You haven’t accepted it, yet. That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?”
“I haven’t decided what I’m going to do, yet,” she said, defensively.
“Dammit, Julia Anne, don’t play games with me!” His voice rose, angrily.
Julia rose to her feet to glare down at him. “Don’t you raise your voice to me, Chad Michael.”
He stood suddenly, towering over her. “What were you going to do, Jules? Wait until I got over there, then break the news to me? ‘Oh, by the way, we’re not going home in a year. We’re not going home, ever!’”
“If you’d come with me in the first place, I’d never have even considered it.”
“How do I know that?”
She lifted her chin. “Are you calling me a liar?”
“I’m calling you sneaky as hell. I’m saying you’d wait and get me over there, and then spring it on me.”
“You have no right to accuse me of that.”
“I have every right. How many people knew about this before I did, Jules?”
“You have the nerve to ask me that after you filed for a legal separation without even speaking to me?” She took a step closer. Here it came, that old familiar build-up of anger and resentment. “You arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate—”
“Here we go with the name calling!”
“—Childish—”
“Come on Baby! You can do better than that.”
“Foolish—”
“Bring it, Jules. I know you’re dying to get a couple of good ones in,” he taunted.
“You self-centered asshole!” she snarled.
“There it is. Come on, baby, what else do you have for me, huh?”
“You’re a bastard, you know that?” She glared at him through tear-filled eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, but at least I’m not sneaky,” he countered, giving her a smug look.
“Oh, you!” She pushed at his chest with all her might.
As though he’d been waiting for this moment, Chad pulled her close, and locked her in his long-armed embrace.
“Let go.” She struggled to pull away from him.
He shook his head and chuckled, obviously amused at her predicament. “So you can swing at me? I don’t think so, Babe. My co-pilot just quit ribbing me about the last black eye you gave me. That was five years ago, and for a lot less than this.”
“It wasn’t a black eye. It was a tiny little bruise on the corner or your eye, and you would not stop egging me on, just like now. Let go of me, dammit.”
“Sorry, I’m not about to be a punching bag for that hot little Irish temper of yours.”
Julia struggled for a little while longer, mumbling profanities under her breath then gave up the fight and gazed up at him. “Why do you always do this to me? Why do you do whatever you can to make me so angry?” The look he gave her was full of need. Heated, longing, promising need.
“Because when you quit fighting, just for a moment, you’re vulnerable. And when you’re vulnerable, I can do this.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her softly.
She froze in his arms at first then began to struggle against him, but he didn’
t let up on her. He lengthened the kiss until she began to relax in his arms. When she moaned into his mouth he finally loosened his grip, seeming to know the battle was over. He lowered his mouth to her neck, just below her left ear, causing her to release a guttural growl of approval.
“God, I missed holding you, Jules; I missed kissing you. I’m lost, baby—I’m lost without you,” he murmured.
“Chad, this won’t fix anything. We have to talk, without arguing.” Her mind clouded as he nibbled at her neck, causing goose flesh to rise on her skin. “We have to resolve our differences—this won’t help us.”
“I think it’ll help us a lot.” He slipped his hand under her silk pajama top to cup her breast.
She moaned low in her throat, saw the satisfied smile slip over his face just before she turned her own mouth to his bare neck.
She tasted the slight saltiness of his skin with her open mouth, and breathed in the scent she’d always found so enticing. It was pure Chad. Julia took her turn by lightly nipping at his neck with her teeth.
His mouth met hers again, more frantically this time, and all unaddressed issues disappeared as quickly as their clothing. Chad picked her up easily and fell into the bed with her.
Neither of them asked permission. Neither made demands. Their urgency, their need took precedence over everything else. They automatically fell into the easy ways they’d developed with each other over their twenty-one year marriage. Each knew exactly what to do to please the other.
His fingers found her, worked her skillfully before withdrawing, and refilling the space, settling himself into the spot that fit him like a custom made glove. They moved together, danced to the rhythm they’d created for themselves over the lifetime of their marriage. The rhythm drove them both closer to that precipice of no return. As Julia’s low moan of pleasure began to crescendo, Chad used a mouth covering kiss to muffle the sounds of her release. Moments later, when he could no longer hold back his own tide of pleasure, he surrendered with what would have been a roar, had Julia not stifled it with another kiss.
Julia lay curled up against his side, her fingers making feather soft movements on his chest.
“I love you, Jules.”
She lifted her hand to her husband’s light auburn hair, trimmed neatly, as per the airline’s guidelines. She toyed with the short side burns then ran her finger over his smooth lips. He took it into his mouth and she smiled. “I love you, too, Chad.” She raised her arms over her head and stretched luxuriously in the large bed then curled her leg around her husband’s. “I feel like I could sleep for two days.”
Chad nestled his mouth in the soft curve of her neck. “Mmmm, Babe, was that as good for you as it was for me?”
Julia closed her eyes and smiled. “Oh, God—I really needed that. I’ve been so—”
“Horny?” A low chuckle accompanied his answer.
“I was going to try to find a more subtle term to use, like ‘hungry for your touch’ or ‘sexually frustrated’, but the truth is the truth, I guess.” She searched his face and traced her finger along his chiseled jaw line. “No matter how angry I am at you, I always end up missing you … jerk.”
“That’s good for me,” he snorted. “I’ll take any breaks I can get.” He placed his hands on both sides of her face and kissed her gently. Pulling her close for a hug, he nibbled at her lobe then whispered softly into her ear. “Babe, what are we going to do?”
She kept her eyes closed and sighed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, London. Your work. What the hell are we going to do about it? I could try to arrange it so that I can take more flights to the U.K., but with your work schedule, I don’t know how much time we’d have together.”
“Chad, why don’t you take a leave of absence for the next year? Come live with Jacob and I in London. We could take the weekends to get some real sight-seeing in.”
“Come on, Babe,” he sighed. “I can’t just ‘not work’ for a year—I’m not made that way. I’m supposed to be the bread winner—I can’t have you support me for an entire year.”
“That’s ridiculous. We have plenty of money in the savings. Savings that we have because you’ve supported us all these years. You could take one year off and really be an active part of Jacob’s senior year. You’re running out of time to do the dad thing with him, you know.”
Chad stiffened. “I resent that, Jules. I’ve always been there for my children.”
“But he’s playing football, Chad, and he’s really good at it. When’s the last time you were able to attend one of his games?”
He sat up, swinging his legs off of the bed. “First of all, it’s soccer, not football, and I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve attended a game, but I’ve sat with him and watched the videos you recorded.”
“They call it football there, and watching the video isn’t the same as being there for the game. He wants his friends to see you there. He’s got a girlfriend that you’ve never met. Isabella is a lovely girl. And if you can’t do it for your son, do it for me.”
Chad rose quickly from the bed and tunneled his fingers through his hair. “You just have to lay that guilt trip on me, don’t you?”
Julia watched the tick in her husband’s jaw that indicated just how angry he was. “I need you to be there, as well. I need your support, Chad. Do you realize how many dinner parties, barbeques, banquets, and award ceremonies I’ve attended with you? I had to put years of my life on hold for you. This is my chance to make an impact, make my mark in a career that I love. I have functions to attend that I really want you to be there for. All I’m asking for is one year of your life. You’ve already gotten out of the first year. If one year is too much for the airline to accept, I’d even take six months.”
Chad shook his head in quick, jerky movements. “I’m sorry Jules, I can’t do it. I can’t walk away from my job. When I’m in London I’ll make as many functions as I can.” He leaned over and placed his hands on her face. “And I promise to do so with a smile and no complaining.”
“So, what you’re telling me is, you won’t even consider it, for any length of time.” She felt him brush his hand over her forehead, as though placating a fitful child.
“Babe, I just can’t.”
She pushed his hand away. “You mean you won’t.” She climbed out of her side of the bed. “I should have known.” She pulled on her night clothes and spun toward him, furious with him and herself for letting him manipulate her … again. “We have nothing more to discuss. You need to leave now.”
Chad closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. “Jules, you’re angry now, but you’ll get over this. You said yourself how quickly the first year went. I’ll see you as much as I possibly can. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
She threw her hands in the air. “You don’t get it, Chad. You don’t understand how badly it hurts to have you say that to me.”
“Babe—”
“Get out.” She pointed toward the door.
“Jules—”
“Get out, now!”
“You’re being ridiculous, Julia.” Chad bent over to step through his boxers.
As soon as he straightened, he got hit square in the face with his shirt.
“What the hell?” He pulled the shirt away from his face only to have his jeans, including his belt, wallet, and all, flung in his face. “Hey!” He pulled them away and grabbed his chin where the belt buckle had hit him.
“Get dressed and get out, you insensitive jerk!” She shook her head and blinked back angry tears. “You’re still unwilling to sacrifice the least little bit for me. Just get the hell out of my sight. I don’t want to see you again. Jacob and I will take the hotel shuttle to the airport in the morning.” She opened her door and pointed to the hallway.
Chad slipped on his jeans, zipped them quickly, and pulled his shirt roughly over his head. He walked into the hallway. Julia slammed the door before he even had a chance to turn around. He stared at the room number plate and wondered how
everything had gone to hell so quickly. A door opened down the hall. He turned to check it out, saw Miranda and Jacob’s curious faces.
Jacob turned to his sister. “I told you he’d blow it.”
“What did you do?” Miranda huffed, looking sorely disappointed.
He held up his hands in agitation. “Why do you assume it’s always my fault? Your mother is the most stubborn woman in the world.” Julia opened the door again to throw both his shoes out. He bent over to pick them up and when he straightened, he got two socks in his face before the door slammed shut again.
Chad took a deep breath and released it slowly, his shoulders drooping. He turned and walked dejectedly into the room where his two silent, teenaged children waited. He collapsed onto the mattress, swearing lowly under his breath.
Jacob and Miranda each sat on a corner of the bed. “Well,” Miranda said, “I’m going to assume that you guys reconciled, at least for a bit, anyway. So, what’d you do to screw that up?”
“Same old, same old,” he told his daughter. “We’re at the same stalemate we’ve been for an entire year. She can’t accept that we could spend as much time together if I just see her between flights.”
Jacob groaned, placing both hands on his head as his mouth fell open. “Dad, Mom doesn’t want you visiting us in London; she wants you to live there for a year.”
“Actually—” Chad said, pushing himself to a seated position on the bed, “—she said she’d be satisfied with six months, but it’s still too long to be away from piloting.”
“Six months?” Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t sacrifice six months for her? She only wants you to be there for her the way she’s always been there for you. Don’t you get it?”
“Why should I have to go through all the trouble of relocating, when it would work just as well if I commuted? It’s only one more year—we’ve already been through the worst of it. If we could see each other several times a month, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as the first year was.”
Miranda sighed and looked at her brother. “You talk to him, Jake. I can’t deal with him anymore tonight. I’ll see y’all in the morning.” She reached into her pocket to pull out a card key and held it out to her father.