‘You want me to come home?’
‘I think it’s the best thing.’
All of a sudden, it did feel like the best thing. ‘Give me a day or so to sort things out and I’ll see you.’ I smiled as I put down the telephone.
I don’t know why I didn’t just jump into my hire car and go straight away. I didn’t have anything to sort out. It’s just that in talking to mum, and remembering that I always fought for what I wanted, I needed to think a bit. My thoughts returned to Julia. I left her, I didn’t fight for her, which means that I didn’t want her enough. But, Holly, well I was fighting for Holly, so I must want her. It was so clear, that I knew what I had to do. I would go home, but only after visiting Cordelia Dickens and ensuring that this time, as in all others, I got what I wanted. How I contemplated quitting, I don’t know. That wasn’t the way I did things.
The next morning I called the number on the card. Although I had stared at it in the coffee shop yesterday, I hadn’t read it. Cordelia Dickens PR, it read in black embossed letters, Cordelia Dickens, Managing Director, it said underneath. Then it listed the address (Knightsbridge), and the telephone numbers. Interesting; I could beat Holly at her own game.
Sophie answered the telephone and asked me how I was, which was welcome because no one else seemed to care. Then she put me on hold for a matter of seconds.
‘George, how lovely of you to call,’ a voice said. It was a strong, confident voice.
‘I was interested in what you could offer,’ I told her.
‘I think I can help you, that’s all. Why don’t you come in and meet me for a chat?’
‘I’m going away tomorrow.’
‘Then come today. How does two o’clock suit you?’
‘Perfect.’ After all I had nothing left to lose.
I made my way to her offices, which were not as grand as the address suggested, but they were in a good location. She was in an old building, on the top floor. As I pressed the intercom I still had no idea what I was doing there. I stood in the tiny elevator and made my way to the top floor. I stepped out and immediately saw her sign on the wall in the tiny corridor. I walked into what I guessed was the reception and saw Sophie who smiled at me warmly. Then before she had to call her, Cordelia walked out. She looked like her voice, if that is possible. She was tall, slim with long highlighted blonde hair and a Pashmina wrapped around her shoulders. She was wearing a short red skirt and incredible high heels. Her legs were lithe and sexy and she looked like the sort of woman you didn’t mess with. She also looked as if she would be filthy in bed. I shook my head at that thought and banished it, to concentrate on the meeting. There were only three rooms off reception. One housed four people, and was open-plan, one was Cordelia’s office, it had her name on it and the third was a meeting room, which was where Cordelia led me.
‘We’re a small operation,’ she explained. ‘There are only six of us, which is how I like it. It’s more personal this way.’
I sat down in the meeting room while Cordelia left to instruct Sophie to make us coffee. The room was small, it would only seat about six people comfortably, but the walls were adorned with framed tabloid headlines. Most had pictures of scantily clad women accompanying them. I wondered what I had walked into. Cordelia returned.
‘I would have had the room set up but it was a bit last minute.’
‘That’s OK.’ We smiled at each other for a few minutes.
‘So, George, tell me your story.’
‘I thought you already knew.’
‘I want to hear it from you.’ I told her everything. About Julia, about my childhood about recent events, about Holly. When I finished she was smiling.
‘That’s quite a story,’ she said.
‘It’s not a happy one at the moment.’ I smiled.
‘Which is where I come in. If you want to get Holly, you have to fight for her.’
‘That’s what I thought, but then I thought maybe it would be better to leave it.’
‘Tosh. Never give up, that’s my motto.’
‘That’s mine too,’ I smiled at her. I liked this woman.
‘You need a friend, George, someone on your side. Therefore, what I propose is this.’
At first, what she outlined horrified me. It would mean putting myself into the public arena to publicise my story, but the more she talked the more it made sense.
‘All I want is for Holly to realise we should be together,’ I explained.
‘And if she sees you in the press and on television saying that, she will.’
‘What if it doesn’t work? The way you describe it, I would have to gain public sympathy to get story coverage, which surely would alienate Holly further.’
‘I’m buying you time George, making sure that she sees you everywhere and as you get the public sympathy, you’ll get hers. You need to trust me.’
‘The thing is I’m a lawyer, a successful one, I’m not sure my firm will approve.’
‘Well, you can clear it with them if you like, or you can just do it. What’s more important to you, Holly or your job?’
‘Holly.’
‘Then you’ve answered your own question. George you’re not like most of my clients. They’re all hungry for fame. I give them that and I could get you that. You could be famous for your story, but that’s not our aim. Our aim is to publicise your plight so Holly will realise how much you care about her.’
‘Yes, that’s what I want.’
‘Of course it is, and you look as if you could use someone on your side. By the time I’ve finished not only will Holly be in love with you but so will the entire nation.’
‘You’re sure about this?’ I still harboured doubts.
‘Trust me, I know what’s best for you, which is why I contacted you.’
‘I’m not sure.’ I wasn’t sure at all. There was a part of what she was saying that made perfect sense, but not all.
‘George, I am not going to pressure you, that’s what everyone else has been doing. I want to be your friend, I want to help, I think I can.’
‘I need a friend.’ My resolve was weakening.
‘Of course you do, and that is exactly what I am going to be. Look George, I’ll be honest with you. You can sign up as a client but you can back out any time you like. I’m not going to harm you, I’m going to help you. Help you get the woman you love to love you. I don’t want to push you, so it’s totally your decision.’
‘You mean I could engage you to help but then if I changed my mind at any time we’d stop.’
‘You have my word.’
‘I need to be in control.’
‘You will be. This is your show, George, and I am only going to do what you want me to do.’ I pretty much knew that I needed this woman in my life.
‘But why did you send Sophie? Why not come yourself?’ As I looked into Cordelia’s eyes I found I did trust her. I just wanted to be sure.
‘I had a meeting I was unable to reschedule. George, think of me as your friend. When Clive told me your story, I knew I had to help. I think that you being still in love with your childhood sweetheart is wonderful.’
‘Umm, we weren’t exactly childhood sweethearts.’
‘Of course you were. Now if we’re going to work together to win you the girl then you have to trust my judgement on things. Firstly you were childhood sweethearts, secondly you knew you needed to part but you made a pact that you would one day get married, thirdly you come home from your exclusive life in New York to ask her to marry you before she turned thirty. Then she turns you down and your life is ripped apart. That’s the story.’
It didn’t sound exactly like what had happened, but it was based on fact. If I had been given my chance in court that would have been how I would have argued my case. I made my decision. Cordelia was on my side and she was my best bet.
‘How much?’
‘For what?’ She acted coy but I knew she knew that I was with her. I think she knew it even before I walked into her office.
‘Your services, how much do you charge?’ She smiled as she told me that she would only take a percentage of what the media paid me. I was surprised because I hadn’t thought about making money out of this, but she told me to relax. I would get paid, she’d take her percentage. She instructed Sophie to draw up a contract, which she did while we chatted about our strategy.
Cordelia was going to get me into one tabloid at first, and let the others pick up the trail. Then we would grant interviews to select press (Sunday supplements were a target as were Hello! and OK! magazines), then she would arrange a number of television appearances. She was honest with me and said that the story wouldn’t last forever, but would probably have a one month lifespan. That was enough time to get the public behind me and for Holly to realise how stupid she’d been. In one month’s time I would have secured my future wife.
I signed the agreement, which was just a one-sided, straightforward, terms-of-business letter. Then I kissed Cordelia on the cheek knowing I was about to turn things around.
Chapter Nineteen
It was was as if someone had removed the millstone from around my neck. And I drove to Devon the following day with a much lighter heart. I had some time before the story broke and I was going to use it to persuade my parents I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t believe how positive I felt; yesterday I was ready to give up, but now I felt I’d been given a whole new lease of life. Answers came from the unexpected, now I knew that fate had been at work. My life was going to work out the way I thought it would. I was certain of that.
Once again, I wasn’t trying to hurt Holly, that wasn’t my aim and Cordelia was the first person who understood that. Everyone was quick to berate me; to judge me. My parents, Holly, her friends, everyone, but they didn’t understand my motives. Cordelia saw the truth and I was undeniably grateful for that.
I had never been lonely before. In New York my social life was always full, I barely had time to breathe, and before New York I had Holly. But now I found myself with no one. Loneliness is brutal. It takes away your confidence and leaves you doubting yourself. It’s destructive. My heart goes out to anyone who is lonely.
The law had let me down; something I never believed would happen. The media was now my only hope. Either that or quit, and I’m not a quitter. Here I was, holding not only my future in my slightly clammy hands, but also Holly’s. I loved Holly and there was no way I wasn’t going to fight for her. Whatever it took.
She was behaving like a bitch, but that was all right because I knew as soon as she came to her senses that she would revert back to her old self. Delusion is something we all suffer from at one point or another in our lives. I was delusional about Julia. But now I could see the light, and soon, Holly would also.
As I approached my home town I felt as if I was finally coming home. I had never been homesick in New York, of course I had in the beginning, but not once I had really got my teeth into life there. It was a long time since I’d thought of the small town of Barnstaple as home. Now it was. Fleetingly I thought that maybe Holly and I could live here after we married, but then I tried to be sensible. Holly loved London, I’d lived in a city for years, and Barnstaple didn’t offer the fiscal opportunities that a city would. No, we’d have a second home near the coast, in Woolacombe or maybe Croyde, but we would never live here. I think at this point, I still wanted to go back to New York. But if Holly had her heart set on staying in London then I could accept that.
*
My parents still lived in the same house that I’d lived in my whole life. It was a detached, four-bedroomed house on a hill in Newport, just outside Barnstaple. Very pretty and bigger than strictly necessary for the three of us; because it had always been the three of us. That house gave me my love of space. I remember when I first moved into student accommodation, I didn’t think I would ever be able to cope with the lack of space. Then when I moved in with Holly, I found flat hunting just as depressing even with a salary. Most flats in London are not only minuscule but they make you feel hemmed in like living in a rabbit hutch. A very expensive hutch. When I moved to New York, my priority was space, but like London, money doesn’t get you much. As soon as I started making decent money, I decided that most of it would go on getting a big apartment and it did. My apartment in NY is great and although it costs a lot more than it should, I feel like I can breathe there. Or I did until Julia’s bombshell.
I parked in the drive, behind my father’s old BMW, a car he’d had for ten years but refused to update. My father believed that things should be made to last, therefore you only buy one of them. Hence, everything in our house was pretty outdated. If something broke then reluctantly he would replace it, but if it wasn’t broken then it stayed. It was a trait that my generation ill understood but one I found endearing. I picked my bag off the back seat of my hire car, wondering if it was a good time to buy something of my own. I was fed up of driving around in a hire car. I needed something a little bit more stylish. It was yet another decision that hinged on Holly. I didn’t want to buy a car that she didn’t like. Perhaps it would be more sensible to wait until we’d sorted things out. We could shop together. I smiled at the thought of that.
I opened the front door and announced myself. My mother called back that she was in the conservatory. I found her huddled over her sewing machine, making what looked like floral curtains. She looked up at me and I kissed her cheek. She looked older, something I hadn’t noticed at Christmas. But then she was getting older. Weren’t we all!
‘What’s that?’ I enquired.
‘Curtains for the spare room. I fancied a change.’
‘Is this a bored retiree speaking?’ My mother had been a teacher until retiring a couple of years ago to spend more time with my father. My father, who was an insurance broker retired at the same time to spend more time playing golf. To keep herself busy, my mother changed the curtains in the house. I presumed that was what she did; being in New York, I didn’t really get to see. I missed my parents and sometimes felt I missed big parts of their lives, maybe that was another positive aspect to living back in the UK. I’d get to see more of them. In New York, we’d talk over the phone, but I could never picture them both in retirement.
‘Do you want tea?’ she asked. I nodded. I knew that I had as long as it took to make the tea before she was going to give me a ‘talk’. I shrugged and sat down. She would soon see that I was doing the right thing.
‘Where’s Dad?’ I asked.
‘Golf club as usual. But actually today I asked him to go. I wanted to talk to you.’ So she wasn’t even going to wait until the kettle boiled. ‘I want to know what you think you’re playing at.’ She didn’t sound cold exactly but she didn’t sound full of love either. My mother had always doted on me. I was the boy who could do no wrong. So, I was having trouble accepting the disapproval in her voice and in her eyes.
‘I am fulfilling my destiny.’ I told her all about Cordelia.
‘George, what on earth do you think this is going to achieve? I don’t know what’s behind this but whatever it is we need to sort it out. We need to sort you out. If you need a counsellor then we’ll get you one, but you have to stop all this nonsense. I didn’t approve when you tried to take Holly to court, and now you say you’re going to make her realise what she means to you by splashing your story all over the papers. George, this isn’t love.’
‘But it is. It took rejection by Julia to make me realise that Holly is the one for me.’
‘No, you’re doing this because Julia rejected you. You don’t want to be alone and for some insane reason you think Holly is the answer.’
‘No. Holly is the answer. But not to my loneliness; to my happiness.’ Our voices were raised and it hurt me to shout at her but I felt that her refusal to understand was deafness. I had to make her hear me.
‘George, for a lawyer you can be quite poetic. Don’t you see you’ve deluded yourself about all this. You were in love with Julia, you raved about her, and when y
our father and I met her in New York we both thought you were perfect for each other. You know how much I adore Holly, but I have never thought you two would end up together; you’re too different. I know Julia hurt you, I saw you straight afterwards, remember? Don’t punish Holly for what Julia did to you.’
‘Is that what you think I’m doing?’
‘Yes. I think that you are lost and lonely having split up from the most important relationship of your life and I think that you have turned to the one person who has always been there for you. Because she’s happy you’re punishing her by trying to wreck her happiness, just as Julia wrecked yours.’
‘I am not doing that! I love her!’ I banged my fist on the conservatory table.
‘George, when did you realise you were in love with Holly?’
‘When I came home, after Julia and I split up.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Exactly what? You don’t know everything about us you know.’
‘What don’t I know?’
‘You don’t know that when I came home to tell Holly about Julia, yes, I came to London especially to tell her that I was going to propose to Julia. Well, we slept together.’
‘You...?’
‘Yes. For the first time ever and that put doubts in my mind about Julia. Holly and I were so good together but I wasn’t expecting it; and she felt the same. So when I proposed to Julia, I was confused but when she turned me down I realised it was fate’s way of telling me that Holly and I should be together.’
‘I didn’t know that.’
‘It’s a bit ungentlemanly to go around telling everyone that I’ve had sex with her. And certainly not the sort of thing I was going to discuss with my mother. The reason I am pursuing this is because Holly is scared of hurting Joe, so she won’t admit her true feelings. I have to make her realise because otherwise, well otherwise doesn’t bear thinking about.’
‘It still doesn’t add up. Maybe Holly sees you sleeping together as a mistake. Mistakes are easy to make.’
‘No. She just doesn’t know what to do.’
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