by Jayci Lee
She gasped, and her hand fluttered to her chest. She actually freaking did that. Like some Victorian maiden. What the fuck. She cleared her throat loudly, planning to give him her best comeback. What came out was, “Um … abba … wha?”
“You don’t have to decide now.” He laughed quietly, his hot breath tickling her cheek. “I’ll grow it out for a couple more days while you mull over it.”
“I can’t believe … you don’t think … ugh.” She backed away from him so she could think and breathe. “The Ego.”
Seth shrugged happily and peeked at her basket. “Dark chocolate? Is that what you came in for?”
“No, I need some shampoo.” If she was honest with herself, the shampoo really was an excuse to come in for the chocolate.
Seth cocked his head to the side, intensely interested. “Which shampoo do you use?”
“Um, nothing fancy. Just a drugstore brand.” She glanced sideways and pointed to it. “This one.”
He promptly reached for a bottle, popped open the cap, and inhaled deeply. Then he glanced down at the shampoo with disappointment. “No, this isn’t it.”
“What are you talking about? I should know what brand of shampoo I use.”
“Your hair smells similar to it, but there’s something more.” He reached out to wrap a piece of her hair around his fingers and sniffed. “It’s been driving me wild, trying to figure out what it was.”
“My conditioner is the same fragrance. I don’t put anything else on.” Something about knowing that Seth spent his free time thinking of how her hair smelled was quite gratifying.
“There’s this sweetness underneath the citrus.” He absently rubbed her hair between his fingers, effectively holding her in place.
“Sweet?” There was an erotic undertone to his musing. Or maybe it was just her. She was getting very, very turned on. “Oh, that must be me.”
“Yes, that’s it. It is you.” Seth’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, and held her gaze for a long moment. “Something uniquely you. I won’t be able to enjoy this scent anywhere but where you are.”
You sure as hell won’t find it in Paris, she nearly said. But what would that accomplish? It wasn’t like she didn’t want him to leave. “You’re imagining things. It’s citrus shampoo. On sale for seven ninety-nine.”
Seth finally let her hair slip through his fingers. She moved to walk past him, but he walked alongside her. “So what’s on the agenda today?”
“Running errands. Maybe doing the laundry. Then the late shift,” she counted off on her fingers. “A truly exciting lineup. Why do you ask?”
“I thought … maybe you could help me find something.”
“Find what? At the drugstore?”
“Flowers. I need wildflowers.”
“Have you been to the florist?”
“Not yet, but I can use your opinion. Will you come with me?”
“Okay. Why not.” Inside, she wanted to bounce on her heels. Another nondate with Seth? Hell, yeah. “I guess laundry could wait until tomorrow.”
“I’m honored,” he said dryly. Then his eyes focused on something over her shoulder. “I see the shaving cream. Let me grab that, then we can go. Unless you have more shopping to do.”
“No, I’m good.” Then she remembered she was running low on tampons. “I lied. I do need something. Then I’ll be done. I can meet you at the register.”
“That’s okay. I’ll go with you.”
“Suit yourself,” she said.
She walked over to the feminine hygiene section, expecting Seth to mumble an excuse and run to the register.
“Whenever I see an ad about maxi pads with wings, I always imagine them flying around the living room,” he said with a light laugh. “Like the Hogwarts acceptance letters in Harry Potter.”
“That’s because you’re a strange one.” But Tara couldn’t help snickering at the imagery. She might never be able to unsee that now. “Okay. I’m done. Let’s go pay for our stuff.”
He stepped to the side with his arm outstretched. “After you.”
“Why, thank you. I’ve never experienced such gallantry at the feminine hygiene aisle before.”
Seth chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. As they stood in the checkout line, they smiled and peeked at each other. Like a sappy couple. Which they definitely were not. A couple. Especially a sappy one.
Once they finished paying, he came to stand beside her. “Do you want to drop your car off at your house? It makes sense to drive in one car.”
“I actually rode my bike here.” She thought for a moment. It wasn’t as though anyone would steal it. “It’ll be fine where I parked it.”
“We could take it with us. I have a bike rack.”
“That works, too.”
Tara led him to where her bike was parked. He lifted the bike and secured it like it weighed nothing, his muscles shifting and bulging. It was quite a show but altogether too short.
“Thanks,” she said, her eyes still roaming his chest and arms.
“My pleasure,” he replied with a cocky smile.
She snorted and shook her head. The Ego probably nudged him to flex extra hard for her. Not that she was complaining. Seth was halfway to the passenger door when she opened it herself and plopped down on the seat. It made no sense to wait for him to come around to open the door for her when she too had hands and limbs. He didn’t seem to mind. He shrugged and retraced his steps to the driver’s side and got in the car.
“Which way to the florist?”
Tara pointed to the right. “It’s around that corner and two streets down.”
“That’s really close. Maybe we should’ve walked.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if you planned on buying a trunkful of wildflowers or something.”
“Not quite a trunkful, but I do want a nice-sized bouquet.” He slowed to pull into a spot in front of the flower shop. “Or maybe a huge one. I’m not sure. I have a rough concept in my head for the shot, but I’ll know which flower is the right one when I see it.”
The bell tinkled merrily when they stepped into the lovely flower shop. Tara always felt a little happier when she was in there. The gorgeous palette of nature’s colors and the heady fragrance of the flowers made it seem as though all was right in the world.
“Hey, Rosie.” Tara waved cheerily at the florist/owner.
Seth leaned down and whispered, “Rosie?”
“Shush. She was meant for this job. That’s all.”
“No, I think it’s cool.”
“Tara?” The florist rushed out from behind the counter and wrapped her in her arms. “It’s good to see you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“It’s good to see you, too. Rosie, this is Seth, Aubrey’s new brother-in-law.”
Seth extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Rosie blushed like her namesake flower, placing her hand inside his with a breathy giggle. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
So nice? Was she flirting with Seth? A fleeting image of herself bending down to bite Rosie’s hand struck Tara. Down, green monster. They were just saying hello, for llama’s sake.
“Rosie was two years behind me in high school,” Tara said in an odd, high-pitched voice. “Go, Weldon High.”
“Yeah, she was one of the few upper classmen who acknowledged my existence.” Rosie smiled fondly at her, and Tara felt as small as a pussy willow for her brief bout of jealousy.
“I can see her doing that,” Seth said to Rosie while smiling warmly at Tara.
“She’s exaggerating.” It was Tara’s turn to blush. “Anyways, can we look around the store? Seth here is looking for some flowers that he’ll know when he sees them.”
Rosie blinked rapidly but held on to her smile. “O-kay. Feel free to browse and let me know if you need any help.”
The store was small, but every nook and cranny held beautiful arrangements and potted plants. Seth was quiet as he searched for the right flowers, and Tara walked beside hi
m, enjoying every hidden treasure she spotted.
Her favorite was a small bouquet jam-packed with the colors of spring—yellow, pink, green, white, with droplets of orange-colored berries dotting the surface. Without thinking, she reached out for it. She just wanted to hold it for a second.
“That’s beautiful,” Seth said, reminding her how close by her side he’d been standing. “Do you like it?”
“I do. Something about it is so joyous and whimsical.” She smiled as brightly as the bouquet.
“May I?” He stretched his hand toward the arrangement she still held.
“Sure,” she said, handing it to him. Maybe he was as enchanted by it as she was.
To her surprise, Seth strode purposefully to the register and extended the bouquet to Rosie. “Could you ring this up for us?”
“Was this what you were looking for?” Rosie asked. “I’m very happy with how this turned out.”
“It’s very well done, but it actually caught Tara’s eyes more than mine.”
“Hey, what are you doing?” Tara came up behind Seth and placed a hand on his arm. So warm and firm. She wished she could wrap her hand around it and squeeze to feel how muscular he actually was. Stop acting like a glutton, and focus. “You don’t need to buy me those.”
“I don’t need to, but I want to. You’re taking time out of your day to help me. These are merely a token of my appreciation.”
Rosie’s eyes hopped from Seth to Tara. If Tara made a big deal out of it, it would look suspicious. Besides, it really wasn’t a big deal. He was just buying her flowers to thank her for her help. It didn’t matter that she never accepted flowers from men. They were too hard to explain to her family. But this time, she didn’t want to refuse. She really loved the bouquet, and if she were honest with herself, the giver wasn’t half bad himself.
“Thank you,” Tara said softly, her heart dipping at his sweet gesture. “But I don’t think I’ve been any help so far. Have you found your flowers?”
“Actually, that bunch behind the counter looks promising.” He pointed out a bundle of tiny lavender blossoms.
“Oh, those.” Rosie walked back to retrieve them. “I actually brought them from my backyard.”
“Do you have more of them? I need about seven to eight bundles of them.”
“I’m afraid not,” the shopkeeper said apologetically but brightened suddenly. “Actually, these are in bloom in abundance in the hills behind the high school. Do you know where I’m talking about, Tara?”
“Now I remember where I’ve seen these before.” Tara snapped her fingers. “Yeah, I know exactly where you mean.”
Rosie processed Seth’s credit card and returned it to him. “I’m sure you’ll find all the flowers you need there.”
“Thank you so much, Rosie,” he said warmly, and the florist fluttered her lashes.
If Tara didn’t like her so much, she would’ve rolled her eyes, but women had to stick together. I mean, who can resist that smile and twinkling eyes? Other than her, she meant. True, she’d kissed the man a couple times and wanted to climb him right now, but she had successfully resisted jumping into his bed so far. She considered that a huge accomplishment, and a testament to her superhuman willpower.
“Milady,” he said extending the flowers toward her.
“You’re so corny.” But she accepted the bouquet and added, “Thank you, kind sir.”
The speculation in Rosie’s eyes grew more certain, and her smile turned wily. “Should I give you guys some privacy?”
“No, thanks,” Tara couldn’t hold back her eye roll this time. “We have business we need to attend to. Ready to go tramping through the hills, Seth?”
“Just lead the way,” he said enthusiastically.
Waving their goodbyes to Rosie, they got back into his car and headed toward her alma mater. She rarely went by there anymore, but every time she saw her old high school, she had mixed feelings. On the one hand, she’d hated high school with a vengeance. The mindless drilling of required courses and the suppression of individuality—studying something she had no interest in just because someone told her to—were both suffocating and excruciatingly boring. On the other hand, she loved the friendships she’d developed and the different interests she’d been exposed to through them.
But always prevalent and consistent during those awkward teenage years was her overwhelming insecurities when it came to boys. She was invisible to them. Unattractive. Uninteresting. She was a late bloomer, so she had no boobs to speak of until the summer of her senior year. By then, her love life was too abysmal to salvage, as was her self-confidence. And the fact that she was getting attention only because of her breasts pissed her off to high hell. Her insecurities followed her to college. It was no wonder she lost her mind with gratitude when, for the first time in her life, a boy liked her back.
The first taste of love had been as sweet as ambrosia, heady and electrifying. But that was before the feelings of inadequacy and guilt set in. Nothing she did for Jason was enough. As his demands on her grew, so did his disappointment in her. The harder she tried, the more he criticized her … belittled her. By then, love wasn’t warmth and happiness, but anxiety and defeat. She had no plans to make herself go back to that time. She wouldn’t risk falling in love again. With anyone.
“Turn left here,” she shouted, jerking back to the present. She was so lost in her thoughts that they almost passed the small road that led up to the hill.
“Whoa.” With his great reflexes and a responsive sports car, Seth was able to make the turn.
“Sorry about being a lousy navigator,” she said sheepishly.
“No need for that.” He stole a quick glance at her before focusing back on the road. “Okay. Do we just follow this road from here on?”
“Yes.”
And that was what Tara intended to do as well. She would keep walking the path she had been on. The safe road where no love existed. Where no pain existed.
* * *
The field near the edge of the hill was tightly packed with the flowers he’d admired at the florist. The late-morning sun shone softly down on the lavender-colored blossoms, lighting everything to a crisp clarity. Tara stood a few feet away, running her hand over the tall grass.
She’d grown quiet in the car on their way over. Seth had no idea why, but his eyes kept following her, observing her in a rare solemn mood. Her ever-present smirk was smoothed out, and her lips looked wider and fuller. Her sharp, ever-watching eyes seemed faraway, and a single furrow marked the space between her eyebrows. He wanted to smooth it out with words and touch, but he held himself back.
This still and pensive Tara was achingly beautiful. But Seth didn’t know where she’d gone, and it bothered him not to know. How could he, though? He’d only just started getting to know her. Even though he found new facets to the fascinating woman whenever they spent time together, it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He was hungry to know everything about her. Her hopes, fears, and dreams. What made her happy. His heart thumped against his chest with his fierce desire to make her happy.
The realization hit him physically, making him take a step back from Tara. Where the hell did that come from? Sure, he wanted to give her a good time, but it wasn’t his job to make her happy. That wasn’t what this was about. He was leaving in three weeks. If he made her happy, wouldn’t his leaving make her sad? His chest felt tight and sore at the thought. He couldn’t bear the thought of causing her any kind of pain.
He had to be honest with himself. Being with Tara felt … different. It didn’t feel like the comfortable camaraderie he’d shared with his friends with benefits. It didn’t feel like fondness and respect. The respect was there—perhaps more strongly because it was her—but he felt a connection to her he hadn’t felt with anyone else. Not even Jessica. The way his heart stuttered every time he set eyes on Tara. How making her laugh made him want to stick his chest out and crow. How everything she said and did was … more. He was developing feelings for
her that he swore never to feel for anyone ever again.
He didn’t know how he felt about it. Paralyzing fear? The desperate urge to run in the other direction yelling never again? Nope. After years of hiding behind the defensive wall he’d erected, the gaping holes Tara punched through it didn’t alarm him. The closest thing to how he felt was huh, how ’bout that.
“So, do you want to pick some and take them back to the restaurant?” Tara broke the silence.
“No, I don’t think so.” He looked across the field, taking in the stunning ocean of flowers. “Even the biggest bouquet wouldn’t do them justice, and snapping away their vibrant life doesn’t feel right either.”
“Maybe you’re right.” She walked out to the clearing on the edge of the hill and stared out at her town. “I’d forgotten how beautiful this place was.”
In that moment, the sun hit her from exactly the right angle, and the world changed around her. She turned into something unquantifiable. Solid but transparent. Glowing but shadowed. Sharp and smudged.
“Stay right there,” he said and rushed to his car. He popped open the trunk and pulled out his camera.
“What? Why?”
“Just don’t move. Please.” He ran back to where she was standing, and took shot after shot before she could even speak. “You could sit or stand or crouch, and look anywhere you want. But do it in that spot.”
Tara blushed slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “All right. I guess.”
Time stood still. A hundred years passed. She was ever present and ever changing, and he couldn’t breathe. The light shifted but it didn’t diminish her beauty. It merely re-created her into something else.
When he came back enough to notice his surroundings, he was lying flat on his back with his head on the dirt. He adjusted the lens and took the shot he believed he meant to take. Tara was sitting with her knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She was staring out into the panorama. This time, she didn’t seem pensive or faraway. She seemed serene and content.