by Leanne Brice
I had to put my phone on silent pretty quickly—Danny called me after I left, but I was not in the mood to talk to him yet, and I ignored all texts and calls the whole ride home.
I change out of my work clothes and put on familiar casual gear, feeling sort of relieved and joyous I have so much daylight left—I can just go for a random stroll like before. Maybe head to Central Park, see what kind of circus is happening there right now.
Though I liked that job, the freedom I feel right now—that life is clearly not for me.
It’s a while before I admit to myself that the vast majority of my excitement about working there was because I was in the same vicinity as Danny, that there was a chance I could see him every day, and it was thrilling having that possibility.
I didn’t actually care about my supervisor’s pleased smile when I nailed a task as much as I cared about Danny’s proximity.
What the hell is wrong with me?
When did get so open to being influenced so strongly by a man?
On a whim, I call up my childhood best friend, Becca.
Maybe I’ll catch her on a break from wiping away shit and vomit. And, of course, urine—I still laugh when I think about the time she told me she went to change her son’s diaper and he shot pee in her eye.
“What’s up?” she answers. “Long time, no talk.”
“Oh, come on—you just sent me pics of your kid just the other day. Every other day, in fact.”
“Oh, that’s not the same thing.”
“I don’t know—kind of feels like it.”
“Well, I’ve been hoping to inspire you to make fun of me in your own voice instead of in emojis. It gets lonely sometimes here in Domesticated Land.”
“Oh. I actually hadn’t realized. I figured you had your hands full with the new baby—especially since you couldn’t go anywhere anymore.”
“Well, for the record, you can always come here and hang out for a bit. Perhaps pick up a thing or two for the day you…”
I fake vomit and she laughs.
“Okay, okay—still Team Free and Single. I get it.”
“Well, actually, I did meet this guy…”
I stop myself.
Shit, it’s probably too late to take it back, and I’m still not the best at lying.
“Go on,” she nudges.
“Okay. So you know my list. Well, I ended up adding a checkmark to item #5…”
Item #5 became our code word for one-night stands at some point, so even though she might not have my whole list memorized—particular items and their numerical order—she definitely recognizes #5.
Before she became Mrs. Stay-At-Home, Becca collected quite a few #5s in her heyday; in fact, she was the one who suggested I add it on there in the first place. She suggested a menage too, but I decided to leave that one off.
“Who? When? Where? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me right after!”
“Well, it happened a few weeks ago. I went to a bar…” I fill her in on the rest of the basics. “…but the next day, I went to meet my dad’s new squeeze and guess what—he’s her son!”
“Shut the front door—you fucked your stepbrother?”
“He totally wasn’t at the time, so…”
“Wait a minute—you guys are still doing it, aren’t you? Since you clearly have feelings for him? And don’t try to deny it, Em—you wouldn’t have said ‘I met this guy’ the way you did if you didn’t really like him. Oh my god, I can’t believe you deprived me of this juicy, juicy gossip…”
“Don’t you dare tell anyone!”
“My lips are sealed.”
She’s lying—she’ll tell her husband.
That’s part of the reason I can’t really tell her anything too scandalous anymore—her loyalty has shifted to him. Which is expected, I guess, since they’re married and all, but her husband has no loyalty to me and could easily flap his gums to others; guys are worse than girls when it comes to spreading people’s business in my observation.
I just realized I made a huge mistake.
“I’m serious, Becca—not even Tom. Not yet anyway. Not until things settle on this side. This isn’t vital information you need to share, you’re not lying to him by withholding it…”
“Okay, okay. But you guys are calling it off, right? It’s totally weird.”
“Is it? I mean, yeah, it’s not exactly par for the course, but we’re in no way blood-related, and we didn’t grow up together or anything. We’re two grown-ass adults whose widowed parents happened to marry each other.”
“Well, I know that, but some people will still talk.”
“Who cares? What part of the way I’ve been living my life the past few years shows I give a flying fuck what others think I should do? The whole point of…everything is that it’s my goddamned life to play with! No one can guarantee I’ll have a long one, so I have a right to be happy, whatever that means for me.”
Shucks, I sound like I’m yelling.
“Wow, it’s really serious between you two, isn’t it?” Becca says gently. “Holy cow, Em—I’ve never heard you talk like this. Listen, I’ve gotta go—Tom Junior is calling for me the only way he knows how. Talk to you later?”
“Yeah,” I say softly, feeling kind of guilty for the way my voice had raised at her.
I realize I definitely need to go for a walk and clear my head, so I head out with no particular destination in mind—just the intention of opening my mind and letting my senses come alive with the sights, sounds, smells, and bustling touches of New York.
Chapter 10
TUESDAY
I feel kind of lost again.
Just a few weeks ago, although I was pretty much in the same place, I didn’t feel this way—like I’d lost something beyond my mom and sense of purpose.
I have an ache where I didn’t have one before, in some other part of my chest.
Danny called me a lot and left tons of messages, and now it seems he has handed the baton to my dad.
I don’t feel like talking to either of them right now—I don’t know how to answer my dad’s texted question, “You quit your job?” yet.
I keep ignoring the messages, trying to figure out what to do the whole day now that I’ve gotten all my hours back to myself.
Oh, man—I lasted two weeks at that office job. Can’t add that to my résumé.
But it actually got me thinking about school again—my brain feels ready to take on a heap of knowledge and challenges again in a structured environment.
And like Ross said, I’d probably regret it someday if I didn’t finish my degree.
I pull up my list and add ‘graduate’ to it.
I take a shower, planning another walk through the city. Maybe I’ll walk through Times Square for kicks, or perhaps hit up a museum.
When my phone rings again, I see that it’s Daisy, and I’m definitely not answering that.
I realize I won’t be able to talk to any of the parental units until I talk to Danny again, so the next time I receive a call from him, I pick up.
“Oh, thank God. Emma, why have you been ignoring me?”
“You know why.”
“So you’re okay? I mean, nothing happened?”
“Like what? Yeah, I’m still in one piece, if that’s what you mean.”
“Oh, good. Christ, I was so worried. I knew you were upset and everything, but not hearing from you at all—no response to any of my messages—I started to worry something horrible had happened to you. Can I see you?”
“You know where I live,” I say casually.
Well, damn!
It’s been less than five minutes since Danny and I hung up, but yet here he is, saying “It’s me” on the other side of the door, knocking like a maniac.
I open the door to let him in.
He just stands there for a moment, taking me in as if making sure he’s not looking at a mirage, then gathers me in his arms, gripping me in a tight hug.
Fuck, he smells amazing.
“I know you needed time and space to yourself to process everything, but once I couldn’t get ahold of you, my imagination went wild, and I couldn’t rest until I heard from you again.”
“It hasn’t even been forty-eight hours...”
“I know—it made no sense to have those crazy thoughts; none of this makes sense. But it made me realize how much... how much I want to be with you. I thought it would be easy once I reminded myself of everything at stake, and figured once we got into a regular routine and started dating other people, we’d be fine. But I don’t want other people, Emma—I want you.”
My insides melt a little. “I want you too, Danny. I didn’t mean to get so attached to you, but I did.” I shrug helplessly. “Have you handled that whole thing with Reggie?”
“Not yet. I have some time—the deal closes in a week.”
“Still leaning toward essentially paying him off?”
“For now. Although now that I’m not exactly planning on letting you go, I’ll consider more options.”
He takes a deep breath, holds my cheeks in his large hands, then plants a kiss on my forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“You’re nuts. I don’t know how you’ll deal with it when I go on another hiking trip.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“But you can’t come every time.”
“I know. But that’s different. You going off, with me knowing you plan to come back to me versus you just disappearing on me...”
I throw my arms around his shoulders. “How did we end up in this mess, Danny?”
“I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m in it.”
He leans forward and I meet his kiss, closing my eyes and savoring the probing, exploratory nature of it.
When he kissed my lips before, it was mainly hunger behind it, animal lust in control.
This kiss feels different and is far scarier.
I feel his cock growing against my abdomen and reluctantly pull my lips away.
“Shouldn’t you be at work? Or is this your lunch break?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says, “I do what I want. And I want you.”
He locks the door behind him and starts pulling his jacket off.
Then he yanks my top off before helping me out of my bra, his fingers nimble and experienced.
My breasts bounce loose as my bra gets tossed carelessly.
“Jeans down,” he commands, and I obey immediately and to the letter, leaving my panties on.
I kick away my jeans and his large hands are on the sides of my underwear immediately.
He rips them clean off, making me gasp in surprise.
Wetness pools at my core.
“Get on the bed and lie on your back; I’ve got another chance to feast on you and I’m taking it.”
A thrill runs through me and I follow his orders, climbing onto the middle of the bed and lying down, my naked body fully exposed to his roving eyes.
He stares at me as he works his dress shirt off, and I get slicker and slicker between my legs at his masculine striptease, practically quivering in anticipation as a hungry look takes over his eyes.
He slowly unbuckles his belt, pulling it out of the loops of his pants but keeping his pants on.
He heads over to me and covers me with his body, his hard cock straining against his slacks.
Why doesn’t he take it out?
I want to volunteer to help.
He plants his palms on either side of me, his hard, masculine body half-clothed and hovering above mine for a moment. Then he dives for my neck, making me gasp in shock and delight.
He nibbles the sensitive flesh, sending ripple after ripple of electrical pleasure through me at his teasing touch.
He places searing kisses all over my neck before sliding his lips down to my chest.
There, he pauses to taste my breasts, his tongue flickering, his mouth sucking the soft flesh.
He nibbles each boob before moving down, sliding his lips down the middle of my abdomen and sending more electric shocks through me.
He pauses to place my legs how he wants them—spreading them wider, my legs bent at the knees—as he slides down my body.
Then he kisses the nub of my clit, making me jerk from the shocking jolt, and before I’ve recovered, he is nibbling my inner thighs, teasing me with the extended wait as he licks and sucks one side then the other.
Then his mouth is hovering at my pussy, and the wait is killing me—moans of need escape me involuntarily.
I gaze down at him with pleading eyes.
He gives me a slow, wicked grin, and then his mouth clasps my pussy.
I let out another helpless feminine whimper.
He kisses my pussy lips like a mouth, and then he starts licking all its parts, his tongue darting between the flesh, tickling my nooks and crannies and teasing more wetness out.
I quickly realize I can come from this quite soon—he is munching my honeypot expertly.
He slides a finger inside me, then moves it in and out as he licks my pussy lips, bringing me even closer to the edge as his lips and tongue work their magic.
“Danny...”
He starts concentrating on my clit, and as much as I want to feel his dick moving inside me, I sense I’m about to reach the end without him.
“I’m gonna...!”
Stars explode behind my eyes as my hearing and vision get compromised by the energy-stealing climax ripping through my body.
Danny continues to lick and finger-fuck me through it, my pussy contracting and gripping his finger hard.
“Mmm...wish I was in there,” he says, letting my cunt hold on to his finger a little bit longer.
Then he slides the slick digit out and climbs up next to me.
He licks his finger clean then holds me in his arms as my orgasm continues to pulse through me.
“You could have been there,” I muster up pretty late in response.
“Oh, I will be,” he says in a seriously deep voice—an unbelievably sexy bass. “But for now I’ll just enjoy you like this.”
I melt into his embrace.
“So are you into that tease-and-denial stuff or something?” I ask. “Are you getting off on depriving yourself?”
He laughs.
It’s kind of weird that he’s partially clothed and his cock is still raging hard, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering him.
It doesn’t actually bother me, either. I just like having him here—clothed or not.
“So tell me more about your years of adventure and this bucket list,” he says.
I smile, more to myself than at him.
“After my mom died, it hit me a long life wasn’t guaranteed, that no one is young forever, and no one lives forever. Seize the day, carpe diem, hashtag YOLO! That became my motto.”
I slide my hand over his sculpted chest, not really seeing him anymore.
“The list began with my National Parks road trip adventure. My mom had wanted to visit Yosemite and Yellowstone in particular, but she never got to, so I made it my mission to go on her behalf in a way; I ended up doing a lot of things she’d wanted to do before she died, in fact. Anyway, the idea blossomed from there and turned into visiting all the national parks because why not? Plus, I love hiking, the outdoors, meeting new places, people, and things, so I got a map of how best to hit up the parks in the contiguous states. I decided to take my time and not rush through it, so I banked on taking six months and did that—hit up all forty-seven official national parks between January and June, beginning with Cuyahoga Valley in Ohio. The ones in Alaska I saved for later—which happened to be where I spent the rest of the summer. My dad totally thought I was going to return to school in the fall but no—I spent the next few months in Canada. And just when he probably started hoping I’d return to school for the spring semester, another nope—I spent the next year hitting up concerts, plays, musicals, and even circuses. I made sure to get to
the big ones—Burning Man, Coachella, Lollapalooza—stuff like that. But I also made sure to see favorite musical artists outside of those and a bunch of unknowns in smaller venues. I also went to see operas and other things my mom wanted me to do more of. Outside of the recreational stuff, I took lessons in sushi-making, kickboxing, and I even tried the violin since my mom really wanted me to be able to play that. Just like when I was six, that was a fail; I couldn’t hack it.”
“Wow, Emma—you’ve lived a lifetime already. You are so brave—I can’t believe all the things you’ve done, and mostly by yourself! What’s left on your list, if anything?”
“The New7Wonders of the World, Giza pyramid, Easter Island statues, Wisteria Tunnel in Japan…”
“I’d love to go with you someday.”
I turn to him. “And I’d love that.” We smile at each other. “Now that I have you here, what brought you to my neck of the woods that first night? What was a guy like you doing in a place like that?”
He chuckles. “I actually had a blind date that night—my mom had set me up with this woman she knew. I met her at a restaurant in the area, and it didn’t take long for me to figure out there was no way she and I were going anywhere—we were incompatible on so many levels. I had no interest in getting to know her further, and I did my best to spare her feelings, but luckily, she quickly let me know she was just humoring my mom—that she had no interest in dating seriously, and she was, in fact, leaving the country for several months pretty soon, so it made no sense to start something now, even if she had been interested in a relationship. Once that was out of the way, we had a pretty relaxed, decent time. No sparks flew—it was like striking up a conversation with a subway stranger.
“The dinner went by pretty quickly—we skipped the whole multi-course thing and just had the main course, and then I paid the check, wished her luck with her upcoming adventures and got out of there. Since it was still pretty early, I wandered around for a bit, and eventually got the urge to have a drink. I popped into the nearest bar that called to me, and there you were. I thought, Now there’s the reason I was brought out here tonight. You might as well have had a stage light on you—I was pulled toward you like a magnet. Everything in me said here’s the girl you were supposed to meet—go get her. And then you pretty much told me you just wanted me for my dick, which was definitely disappointing since I felt there could be so much more, but I didn’t want to say no—you were beautiful and seemed like you desperately needed someone. And I desperately wanted to help. And now, well…I guess I’m stuck with you because you obviously need all the help you can get.”