“I’ll want to get a limo.” A game plan was starting to fall into place.
“So, you’ll take her?” Zach looked at him with such hope in his eyes, Johnny knew he didn’t want to let the kid down. Ever.
“If she’ll go with me.” He wasn’t about to tell the kid that she’d been the one to pull away fourteen years ago. And again last night. She’d pushed him out the door. But this time, he wasn’t going willingly. This time, he’d fight for her.
“Just ask her,” Zach pleaded.
If only it were that simple.
“She has to go. She might as well go with you.”
“You think that’ll work?” Johnny hoped she’d be more enthusiastic at the prospect.
“She’d be crazy to say no.”
“I hope you’re right.” Johnny was starting to like this kid even more. “You got any tips to make sure she says yes?”
“How did you get her to go out with you the first time?” Zach’s curiosity seemed sincere.
“I asked her to dance.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Your dad dragged me to this back-to-school dance on campus.” Johnny smiled at the memory. It had been one of the best days of his life. Right up there with getting drafted. His Major League debut. Pitching a perfect game. “Mel saw this girl hanging off to the side behind the tall speakers by the stage. He thought she was pretty. She was pretty. But Mel was too shy to talk to her. So he talked me into breaking the ice.”
“That wasn’t too smart.” Zach grinned, anticipating the rest of the story. “I can only guess what happened.”
“I walked up to her, to tell her my friend wanted to meet her.” Johnny could see her face even now. “But she looked so perfect. So content. She was dancing. All by herself. But she didn’t look lonely. Not at all. More like she belonged there. So I walked up to her and started dancing with her. Like it was…meant to be.”
“Cool.” If Zach thought he sounded like a lovesick fool, he didn’t show it.
“I guess she thought so.” They’d been inseparable after that. Until he was drafted. And her fear came between them.
“They have dancing at the Golden Gate Gala.” Zach encouraged him. “Maybe you could dance with her again.”
Maybe.
“Hey what are you two conspiring about?” Alice appeared and for a minute, Johnny saw her as she’d been that first night. So beautiful. And completely unaware of her effect on him.
“The Golden Gate Gala.” Johnny stepped forward. It was time for him to make his move. “Zach tells me it’s a fancy party.”
“Oh, yeah. It’s our major fundraiser. I guess I forgot to mention it.” She twisted a strand of her hair. “I don’t expect you to feel obligated or anything.”
“Does that mean you don’t want me to attend?” The old fear that he wasn’t quite good enough lingered.
“Oh, no. I just know it’s not your kind of thing.” She glanced at Zach, as if she wasn’t too happy about him telling Johnny about the event.
“It could be.” Johnny moved closer, close enough to reach out and touch her.
“I forgot something out on the field.” Zach made an excuse to leave the two of them alone. Smart kid.
“You don’t have to make an appearance.” She lowered her gaze. “It’s no big deal.”
“Do you already have a date?” Johnny placed his hand on her shoulder. “Is that why you don’t want me there?”
“A date?” She flinched. At his touch, or the suggestion that she had a date? “Of course not.”
“Would you like one?” He slid his finger under her chin, tilting her head so he could see the surprise in her eyes. “Would you like to go to the Golden Gate Gala with me?”
She was speechless. Stunned by his offer? Or trying to figure out a way to politely decline?
“Please, Ali?” His heart stopped, waiting for her answer. “I really want to take you out in style. I’ll wear a tux. Rent a limo. I’ll even spring for some fancy champagne.”
“I’ll be working.” She hadn’t said yes, but she hadn’t said no, either. “I should skip the champagne.”
“What about the limo?” There’d been a time when he wouldn’t have had to beg.
“Are you sure?” She tilted her face toward his, something like hope shining in her blue eyes. “There will be a bunch of stuffy rich people there.”
“In case you forgot, I’m pretty rich now, too.” She was trying to protect him. He was touched by her concern. “I’ll bring my checkbook. I’d like to contribute to the cause.”
“That’s wonderful, Johnny.” Her voice softened. It was obvious she cared a lot about her foundation.
“Does that mean you’ll go with me?” His heart hammered in expectation. And hope.
She nodded.
“Great. I’ll pick you up on Saturday.” He sealed the deal with a quick kiss. A slight brush of his lips on hers. But it was enough for him to feel her tremble. “Who knows, I might get used to the lifestyle of the rich and famous. It could be fun.”
“There will be reporters,” she warned.
“I can handle a few reporters.”
“Like Rachel Parker?” She had the slightest hint of contempt in her voice. Or was it jealousy?
“You saw the interview?” He tried not to chuckle. It probably looked as uncomfortable as it felt.
“Yes. I did.” She folded her arms across her chest. “She seemed to really like you.”
“I’m sure it’s an act.” He hoped. “Besides, I told her I was seeing someone.”
“Oh?” He saw a flicker of suspicion in her eyes.
“And that was before I even knew about the Golden Gate Gala.”
“You have no idea what you’re getting into.” She uncrossed her arms, her posture relaxed, and her features broke into a teasing grin.
“I think I can use my imagination.” Not to mention his memory. He could recall exactly what he was getting into.
* * * *
“So are you going to the Gala with Johnny?” Zach had waited until they got into the car before bringing up the subject. He didn’t want to sound too eager. But he hoped they would get together.
“Is that what you two were up to? A little matchmaking?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you used to go out with Johnny?” Was he actually having this conversation with his mom?
“Well, that was a long time ago.” Her grip tightened on the steering wheel.
“Did you, like, love him?”
“Yes.” She kept staring straight ahead. Like she was concentrating on the road, but she almost ran a red light. “Yes, I did.”
“Did he love you?”
“Yes. I’m pretty sure he did.”
“Why did you break up, then?” Zach wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. He had a feeling it had something to do with his dad.
“Johnny was drafted by Kansas City. And we thought…” She pulled up to the next light, stopping in plenty of time. “I thought Johnny would be better off only having to worry about making the team.”
“So you didn’t cheat on him?” Zach had to ask. He had to know. “You didn’t break up because you were with my dad?”
“No.” She turned toward him, a strange look on her face.
“Good. Because I’d hate to think you could have been with Johnny Scottsdale if it wasn’t for me.”
The light changed and she pulled into the intersection.
“Why on Earth would you even ask that?”
“Look, Mom. I’m not stupid.” She’d made sure he knew all about where babies come from. “I know when my birthday is. And I know when you got married. There were a lot less than nine months in between.”
“Oh, Zach.” She braked to let a bus pull into the street.
“I always knew you only married Dad because of me.” It wasn’t that big of a deal. Half his friends were in a similar situation.
“That’s not…” She almost lied to him.
“It is true. Don’t even
try to tell me it’s not.” He knew he shouldn’t talk back to her, but he couldn’t help it. This whole situation was too weird.
“Zach.” Her tone was stern. But also kind of sad.
“Sorry. I just wonder if you would have been happier if you’d married Johnny instead.”
“That’s not something I even think about.” She was lying now. He could tell. She didn’t lie very often. Just when she thought it was the only way she could protect him. “I am happy. I wouldn’t trade the life I’ve made for…”
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell him she hadn’t wished she’d been Mrs. Johnny Scottsdale instead of Mrs. Mel Harrison.
“Well, maybe you’ll get a second chance.” He really hoped so. Johnny was cool. So much cooler in real life than he’d ever imagined. “Don’t blow it, okay?”
“Don’t you have homework, young man?” She pulled the car into their driveway. Shut off the engine. Conversation officially over.
He was glad. He had a lot to think about. Like what if she and Johnny did get back together? Would they be happy? Would they want to start a new family?
He thought about what it would be like to have a baby brother or sister. Then he’d be the odd one out. The mistake that they’d be reminded of every time they looked at him. He tossed his backpack on his bed and looked up at the poster of Johnny Scottsdale. The guy who just might become his stepfather.
Did he want Johnny and his mom to get back together because he wanted them to be happy or because he wanted Johnny to be his dad?
He studied the picture closely. He’d never really noticed much more than the uniform. But now he looked at his face. The intense stare. Johnny had really dark brown eyes. Just like his. He had the slightest dimple on the left side. So did he. Johnny had stubble on his chin. He didn’t even have peach fuzz yet.
He looked in the mirror. Was there really a resemblance between him and Johnny? Or did he just want there to be?
Could Johnny Scottsdale be his dad?
No. It was too crazy. His mom wouldn’t lie to him. Not about something important like who his father was.
Would she?
* * * *
The next day, Alice tried to keep her focus on work, but really, there wasn’t much for her to do. By this point, all the kids knew where to go and what to do, and the pro players were comfortable with their roles as mentors. They were working on skills today. Johnny shared his expertise with the pitchers and she wasn’t surprised to find out he was a natural teacher. She’d always known he’d be great with kids. Would make a wonderful father. He’d never thought so. He had too many insecurities caused by his upbringing to feel like he had anything to offer.
She’d always known better.
So why, exactly, had she kept him from proving what a terrific father he could be?
Her insecurities had kept her from fully believing in him. She’d believed he’d make it to the Major Leagues. That he’d be the star he’d become. She just hadn’t believed he would have been satisfied with a small-town girl once he’d hit the big leagues.
Since she couldn’t go back in time and undo her mistakes, she had to be content to be in the present and enjoy watching him work. He gave his complete attention to each boy as if he were the only kid there. While Johnny’s focus was on the player on the mound, he kept the full attention of all the other boys. They knew instinctively that Johnny was something special. His calm, controlled demeanor was contagious. There was no horsing around at Johnny Scottsdale’s station.
She watched him quietly and effectively guide each prospect through the motions. Outwardly, he was focused on mechanics, teaching them proper throwing techniques. But she saw the true lessons he imparted on each young player. Composure. Confidence. The importance of controlling one’s pitches and emotions.
If only she could control hers.
Johnny had asked her to go with him to the Golden Gate Gala. A real date. With a limo and everything. Zach would be at a sleepover with a friend. So she and Johnny would have the whole night. Just the two of them.
If he was willing to take the risk, then why was she so terrified?
Because it had been her experience that if something seemed too good to be true, it usually was.
Mel had been there when she was falling apart. When she was freaking out about Johnny being drafted. He’d understood her fears about him being unable to resist temptation; he’d even encouraged her to be proactive in cutting him loose before he had the chance to disappoint her.
He’d been there for her when she was missing Johnny so much she couldn’t leave her room. He’d dragged her out of her sweatpants and out on the town. Then he proceeded to pour ideas into her head about how Johnny had moved on and so should she. All while he poured glass after glass of champagne.
And Mel had been far too good to be true when she’d first suspected she was pregnant. She didn’t even have the money to pay for a home pregnancy test. He’d not only loaned her the cash, he’d offered to save her from crawling back home to face her mother’s disappointment and her father’s bitterness. He saved her from having to ask Johnny to give up his dreams. He convinced her that it was more loving to let him go than to trap him with a baby that might not even be his.
In other words, Mel had used her. For some reason Mel, with all the wealth and privileges growing up, was jealous of the bastard son of a whore. He couldn’t understand why Johnny attracted people simply by being himself. Why his ability to throw a ball really hard and with precision meant more to a lot of people than Mel’s money and connections. He’d been jealous that Alice had fallen for Johnny almost instantly, while Mel had trouble getting any girl to notice him.
Once he’d gotten Alice to marry him, he seemed to lose interest in her. Like many spoiled children, obtaining the prize was more important than actually having it. She’d meant no more to him than one of his paintings or cars or vintage baseball cards he obsessed over until he actually acquired them. At least he was able to turn around and sell the cards or cars or artwork. He’d been stuck with her.
And she’d been stuck in a marriage that never should have happened.
8
After dropping Zach off at his friend Tyler’s for a sleepover, Alice treated herself to a manicure, pedicure and new lingerie. She slipped into the expensive gown she’d purchased for the event and did one last pass at her hair. She touched up her lipstick with a flutter of anticipation. Knowing Johnny would be her date for the Golden Gate Gala made her quiver at the likelihood of ending up in his bed later tonight. Or he’d end up in hers. Either way, they would be together. Naked.
She hoped she wouldn’t be a huge disappointment. It had been a long time. A really long time. A really, really, really long time. It wasn’t just anyone, either. She would be making love to Johnny Scottsdale.
The doorbell rang and her heart leapt. He was here. She opened the door to find a tuxedo-clad Johnny on her doorstep. Wow. He was stunning. Gorgeous. Drop dead sexy. She couldn’t let him out in public like that. There would be a riot.
“Wow. You look…absolutely beautiful.” He looked at her as if he’d never seen her before. He’d never seen her dressed up like this. Back in college, they never went anywhere that required anything fancier than her good jeans. Most of the time it was shorts and a sweatshirt or if she was working in the schools, she wore easy-care dresses that could handle tempera paint spatters.
“Thank you.” She couldn’t remember why she’d considered canceling on him. She’d spent half the night wondering if she was making a huge mistake getting close to him again. It was probably still a bad idea, but she knew she couldn’t turn him away.
“Your chariot awaits.” He swept his hand in a wide arc, drawing her attention to the sleek black limousine that somehow managed to pull up to the curb right in front of her house. He was pulling out all the stops in his effort to impress. The thing was, he had her before he’d even said hello.
She shivered as he draped her shawl around her shoulder
s. The possibility of them ending up naked now seemed like a sure bet.
“We’d better get going.” Alice did have to make an appearance. She was the director of the foundation and there were a lot of people counting on her to make sure everything went according to plan. “I need to touch base with the caterers to be sure they have everything they need. And the band will need to do a sound check before everyone gets there.”
“I almost forgot, you’re working tonight.” Johnny sounded a little disappointed.
“Yes… Well... I’m sure there will be plenty of people who’ll want to meet you. I’ll make sure we sit at the same table, though.” She was starting to chatter, a nervous habit she couldn’t quite shake despite being able to run this party in her sleep. “Sometimes I even manage to eat at the same time as the rest of the guests. The first year or two, I was so nervous, I ate in the kitchen, grabbing a bite here or there as the evening went on.”
“Ali. When was the last time you went out, just for fun?”
Since she couldn’t quite consider that first night out with Mel fun, she’d have to say when she and Johnny were dating. So she shrugged her shoulders and gave him a pathetic smile.
“I’m going to show you a good time, tonight,” Johnny promised. “I might even dance with you.”
“Oh really?” Her heart melted at the memory of how they’d met.
“You won’t even have to hide behind the speakers.”
Johnny was referring to back-to-school dance where they’d met. Alice’s roommate had bailed on her at the last minute, but she’d gone without her. Once she got there, she’d been too self-conscious to mingle, so she’d ducked behind the stage. Off to the side, where no one could see her. Or so she’d thought.
“You were dancing. All by yourself.” Johnny caught her eye, holding her gaze for what felt like a long time. “But you didn’t look lonely. You looked like the band was playing just for you. That the night and the music were yours alone.”
“I didn’t realize anyone was watching me.” She blushed from the warmth of the memory. “I thought I was hidden from the crowd.”
“Mel saw you,” Johnny said. “And he wanted to ask you to dance. But I beat him to it.”
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