“Alice, I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I don’t want to fight either.”
“Then maybe I should go. We can talk later. When things have calmed down.”
“Things aren’t going to calm down.” She sat on the sofa, wishing he’d sit next to her, but knowing he’d choose the chair opposite her.
“I’m sure Mel will be fine and they can control it with medication or diet or a combination of the two.”
“I’m not talking about him. I mean us.” She was tired of pretending. Tired of loving Johnny from the sidelines. “Things aren’t going to calm down between us. There’s still something there. Something very powerful.”
“I was horny. You were wearing that dress.”
“Yeah. That’s what happened. Johnny, I know you. I know you better than you know yourself sometimes.”
“Then why do you think I could have hurt you?” He leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. “Why do you think I could have been anything other than faithful to you?”
“I was young and insecure. I thought once you made the big leagues you’d forget about me.” How could she explain how she never felt good enough for him? How she would have given anything for some sort of reassurance. Some kind of promise.
“How could I forget you?” He moved closer, perched on the edge his seat. “It would have been easier for me to forget how to throw a baseball.”
“Maybe if you’d…” She looked up at him, at the bewilderment still in his eyes. “You never told me you loved me. You never even hinted at wanting a future with me.”
“At the time I didn’t know if I even had a future.” Johnny’s voice was tinged with the old insecurity they’d both felt. “I had one shot at having anything to offer you. I wasn’t going to make any promises I couldn’t keep.”
“I would have liked the promise. The hope.” But she hadn’t been strong enough to ask for it.
“So all that stuff about groupies and women throwing themselves at me?”
“I wanted you to fight for me.” She sighed. “To fight for us. To assure me that you could resist temptation because I was the only woman for you.”
“You were the only woman for me.” Johnny got up and sat on the sofa next to her. “You’ve always been the only woman for me.”
“Johnny.” She needed to know how many. “Don’t tell me you’ve been celibate this whole time. I heard the rumors, but…”
“I tried.” He looked down at the floor. “I mean, I tried to move on. To have a relationship with someone else. But I couldn’t find anyone who could make me forget about you.”
“Don’t say things like that.”
“I thought you wanted the truth.” He looked up at her. His dark chocolate eyes made her melt. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever really wanted.”
“Even now?” The question almost died on her lips. “Even after I left you. After I hurt you...”
“Even now.” He reached a trembling hand toward her and placed a finger over her lips. “You’re right. I should’ve fought for you. I should’ve fought for us. I should’ve told you every day how much you meant to me.”
He lifted her from the sofa and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her. Slowly. Thoroughly. Passionately. She had no choice but give in to him. Give in to the feelings he stirred in her. She wanted this man. Needed him. Wondered how she’d managed to live so long without him.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she whispered. She hoped Zach was already asleep, but she needed to be discreet.
“Sounds perfect.”
Her heart pounded as she led him up the stairs to her bedroom. She didn’t know how she deserved yet another chance with him, but was determined to make the most of it. Once they were inside, she quietly closed the door and turned the lock. She was almost surprised it still worked, since she’d never needed to lock her bedroom door before. Zach wouldn’t enter her room without permission. Or without being summoned, and even then, he always made his presence known. Still, she’d hate for him to make tonight the one exception.
She stood still, staring back at Johnny. He was watching her, taking her in like he wanted to study every detail of her face, her figure, her trembling hands.
“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve gained a little weight since college.” She toyed nervously with the buttons on her blouse.
“So have I.” He stepped forward to assist her. He slid the silky fabric over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He carefully tugged at the waistband of her skirt, inching it down her hips until it pooled at her ankles.
“But in your case, it’s all muscle.”
“You’re beautiful.” He reached for her, sliding his hands down her belly. He bent down and kissed her, there, right where Zach had grown inside her. “Even more beautiful than you were in college.”
“So are you.” She ran her hands over the old faded Wolf Pack baseball t-shirt he wore. “I remember this shirt. I can’t believe you still have it.”
“Some things are worth hanging on to.” His voice was deep, smooth, sexy.
“And some things should have never been let go.”
“Ali, let’s just focus on the here. The now.” His voice was so calm. So commanding. So in control.
She felt like she was going to fly out of her skin at any moment.
“Touch me, Ali.” He guided her hands under his shirt. She felt the solid muscle of his abs. The silky, rough texture of the hair on his chest. The hard nipples that responded instantly to her touch.
She shoved the t-shirt over his shoulders. He tore it off and tossed it aside. She let her gaze travel over his torso. He really was beautiful. A near perfect male specimen. His shoulders and arms were sculpted from years of throwing. His abs were solid, with a fine trail of hair dipping below the waistband of his jeans
She grabbed his wrist and tugged him toward the bed.
“Do you think you have enough pillows?” Johnny cocked his head toward the dozens of satiny pillows in every shape lined up against the headboard. Round, square, rectangular and cylindrical. She liked to think they kept her bed from looking so lonely.
“I’ll get rid of them.” She laughed as she tossed pillow after pillow to the floor.
“As long as you don’t get rid of me so easily.” Johnny grabbed one of the satin squares from her and pushed her down on the bed, knocking the remaining pillows over the edge.
Alice tried to stifle a giggle, something she’d had trouble with in the past. Of course, the walls of Johnny’s college apartment were much thinner and Mel knew what she and Johnny were up to each night. Zach slept two rooms down, but she especially didn’t want him figuring out what she and Johnny were doing in her bedroom.
They quickly dispensed with the rest of their clothing. She reached into the bedside table where she’d put the condoms she purchased before their Saturday night date. Now she was glad she’d sprung for the big box.
Johnny moved over her, kissing her first on the mouth, then moving his way down her body. He lingered on her breasts for a while, before exploring elsewhere. He smiled as he kissed the rounded, somewhat stretched skin of her belly. He swirled his tongue into her navel, making her quiver in anticipation of where he’d kiss her next.
He didn’t disappoint. He spread her legs and dipped his head. Kissing her. Tasting her. Driving her over the edge. She moaned, wanting to tell him to hurry, but there was no need. He knew. He read her mind. Or read her body at least.
After putting on the condom, he positioned himself over her. Propped up on his elbows, he stared into her eyes as he slowly entered her.
Their lovemaking was different than the other night. The frantic hunger was replaced by a resounding longing. Their connection ran deeper, more intense than ever before.
With her heart at the epicenter, she shook with the most powerful pleasure she’d ever known. She was surprised it didn’t rattle the windows or set off seismic warning alarms throughout the city. All she knew was, she had Johnny back, a
nd she wasn’t going to let fear come between them ever again.
* * * *
Alice dreamed there was a man in her bed. Not just any man—Johnny Scottsdale. If only she could stay in bed a little longer and enjoy this dream.
“Morning.” Strong male arms wrapped around her and she opened her eyes. It wasn’t a dream. Johnny was in her bed.
“Good morning.” She snuggled against him. His erection pressed against her thigh. She shifted her weight and smiled wickedly before sliding down on top of him.
It wasn’t very often she could catch him by surprise. The look on his face showed shock and awe. He grabbed her hips, trying to take control of the situation, but she shook her head. She gently, but forcefully, took his wrists and raised his arms over his head.
She was in charge now. He’d better get used to it.
She moved slowly, taking her time, making the most of every movement. Every sound of pleasure that escaped from his throat. He was losing control already. It took a lot for Johnny Scottsdale to let go.
Emboldened by that thought, she picked up her pace, grinding her hips against him, determined to drive him out of his mind. But she was going to get there first.
Johnny took over, thrusting once. Twice. And then she couldn’t count any higher, the pleasure was too much.
“Oh, Johnny.” She shuddered and collapsed on top of him as he gave one last thrust and groaned with his release.
She rolled off him and caught a glimpse of the clock by her bed. “Oh no. It’s late. Very late. I’ve got to get in the shower.”
She bolted out of bed. Turned on the shower and stepped under the warm spray. She squirted shampoo in her hand and had started to lather, when Johnny slipped into the shower behind her.
“Let me help you with that.” He slid his fingers through her hair. He pressed up against her and it was tempting. Oh, so tempting to let him take control of the situation. To take control of her and her body.
“We can’t. I have to take Zach to school. Besides, we don’t have any protection.” Like a blast of cold water, she realized they’d already made love once without it.
Johnny stepped back, knocking against the shower door.
“Rinse.” He grabbed the shampoo and lathered his own hair. “I’ll be done in a minute. Then I can start breakfast and we’ll take Zach to school together. If that’s okay with you?”
“Yeah. That would be great.”
She finished rinsing and then stepped aside so Johnny could finish washing up. He was out of the shower before she had a chance to work the conditioner through her hair. And long before she could bring up the question of what would happen if she’d conceived that morning.
A new baby.
A chance to do it right this time.
With Johnny’s full participation.
The thought excited and terrified her at the same time.
She quickly dressed, dried her hair and applied her makeup.
Downstairs, she found Johnny and Zach once again bonding over breakfast. Bagels with cream cheese and strawberry preserves. Zach poured himself a giant glass of milk and Johnny made coffee.
He’d also made Zach’s lunch.
“So. You two are a couple, now?” Zach spoke through a mouthful of bagel and cream cheese. “That’s cool.”
Johnny handed Alice a cup of coffee, with cream and sugar just the way she liked it. It all felt so domestic. So natural. He slipped his arm around her shoulder, giving her strength to bring up the one subject they all needed to discuss.
“I’m glad you’re okay with having Johnny in our lives.” A reassuring squeeze and she felt brave enough to continue. “Because there is something we need to talk about.”
“What? Are you guys getting married or something?” Zach popped the last of his bagel into his mouth and took a long swallow of milk.
“We haven’t discussed that.” She could hear amusement in Johnny’s voice. “Yet.”
“Oh. Okay.” Zach chugged the rest of his milk and set the glass down on the table with a loud bang.
“You see…” Oh, this was going to be harder than she thought. “Well, you know Johnny and I used to date? Back in college.”
“Yeah. I know.” He lifted his shoulders in an exaggerated shrug.
“Well…” She swallowed the giant lump in her throat.
“What your mother is trying to say…” Johnny couldn’t do it either.
Zach just sat there, all innocent and trusting. Not having a clue that his life was about to change within the next few minutes.
“So, are you guys, like, trying to tell me that Johnny’s my real dad?” Zach slid out of his chair, carrying his dishes to the sink. “Because, I kind of figured it out already.”
Johnny’s arm slid off her shoulder. They stood there, shocked by how casual Zach made it sound.
“So, who’s taking me to school?” Zach picked up his lunch sack and shoved it in his backpack. “Or should I walk?”
“No. We’ll take you. We’ll both take you.” Alice set her coffee on the counter. “How did you...figure it out?”
“I don’t know.” Zach shrugged again, in his no-big-deal kind of way. “I just put things together. I mean, come on. Anyone could see that I’m, like, his mini-me.”
“Yeah, well, it might come out on the news.” Alice took charge of the conversation, now that the truth was out there. “So, we wanted to prepare you. And see if you had any questions.”
“Why would it be on the news?” Zach asked, but then he seemed to remember that Johnny was a famous ballplayer. “Oh, right. So can we talk about this later? I’ve got Ms. Westfield first period and you know how she is about tardies.”
“Sure.” Alice figured she’d have her bagel later. She didn’t think she’d be able to eat it now, anyway.
“I’ll drive.” Johnny reached in his pocket for his keys. “Just point me in the right direction.”
“Cool.” Zach slung his backpack over one shoulder and headed toward the door.
“You should eat.” Johnny leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Bring it with you. I have a few stops to make after we drop the kid off.”
“Okay.” She slathered some cream cheese on half a bagel and grabbed a napkin. She choked down the last of her coffee and followed her two guys out the back door.
* * * *
Zach thanked Johnny for driving him to school. Or should he call him Dad? He wasn’t sure how he felt about it still, but he was glad they’d finally told him. Not that they’d really told him. He kind of let them off the hook by admitting he’d already guessed. In a way, he was relieved they’d done it together. By having Johnny—his dad—there, it kept his mom from getting all weird and asking him how he felt and when he’d tell her he didn’t know, she would keep prodding until he got mad.
This was better. They knew that he knew and now he could just get on with his day.
Except for wondering if everyone else knew, too. He walked down the hall, expecting people to look at him differently. Or whispering behind his back, but he made it to his locker without any of that. Hopefully he’d have a little more time to get used to the idea before having to explain it to people.
He should tell someone, though. It used to be Tyler who he’d want to talk to first, but he had the feeling Ty wouldn’t care. Or he’d act like he wouldn’t care but be mad at him for not telling him sooner.
“Hey, Zach.” Ashley Turner smiled shyly at him. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” He’d only known her since, like, second grade. Why was it all of a sudden hard to talk to her? Other than the fact that she was a girl? And okay, he’d admit it, he kind of liked her.
“Cool.” She smiled more like a real smile. Like she was happy to see him. Or something.
“Yeah. How’s it going with you?” Oh, real smooth. So original. “I mean, hey, can I tell you something?”
“Sure.” She stepped closer and kind of flipped her hair over her shoulder.
“You can’t tell an
yone. I mean it.” Zach lowered his voice so people wouldn’t hear him.
She looked kind of worried. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I mean, everything’s okay. Good news, I think.” He wasn’t sure why he felt like he needed to tell her this right now, but he thought he would burst if he kept it to himself. And who knew? Maybe this would be some way to make them, like, bonded or something.
“Okay. I like good news.” She smiled again and Zach had to remind himself to breathe. “Even if it is a secret.”
“Okay. Yeah. Um. So you know how my dad died a long time ago?” Stupid. She probably didn’t know that. She probably didn’t know anything about him.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.” She started to put her hand out, like she was going to pat him on the shoulder or something. But she let it fall to her side.
“Well, he wasn’t really my dad.”
“Seriously?” She looked at him with curiosity, and an openness that made him think he wasn’t stupid for wanting to tell her.
“Yeah. I just found out that my real dad is…” Would she even know who Johnny Scottsdale was?
Someone bumped into him, shoving him against her and knocking them into the wall.
“Are you okay?” He asked after the numbskull walked on by, not even bothering to apologize.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She shifted her backpack just as the warning bell rang. “But I gotta go to class. Can we talk later? I mean, like, at lunch?”
“Yeah. I eat lunch.” Duh. Of course he ate lunch. Everyone did.
“Okay, I’ll look for you. And you can finish telling me about your dad.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at him. A real encouraging smile. Like maybe they could be friends. Or maybe something more.
* * * *
“Do you have a lot of work to do this morning?” Johnny wasn’t ready to take Alice home after dropping Zach off at school. There was too much going on between them.
“Nothing that can’t wait until this afternoon. I should have the final numbers back from the accountants by then and we can start planning for next year’s event.”
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