“You’ve nearly eaten all the bacon, you absolute pig.” I point out as if that is more important than anything else at the moment. He just shrugs and picks up a mug of coffee, one of my dad's old mugs, and takes a huge gulp from it to wash down his mouthful. “You should have gotten here sooner, then. I really tried to save you some but you know bacon has always been a weakness for me.” He smiles a smile I used to adore on him and he was right. I did know a lot of little details like that about Hawk. I doubt any of it has changed since we were just a bunch of dumb teenagers.
“What are you doing in my house?” I ask the real burning question and the infuriating bastard just shrugs again as he shoves a rolled-up pancake in his mouth after he wipes up some syrup from his plate with it. I just shake my head and head over to the island on the opposite end where Sam was standing, a mug in his hand. He hands it to me, made just the way I like, and offers me an apologetic smile. I didn’t blame Sam. Hawk probably broke in and helped himself. It was just a very Hawk thing to do.
“Can’t old acquaintances stop by and check on each other?” He asks innocently and I scoff at this. I reach across the island and snatch the nearly empty plate of bacon away from the heathen before he could consume the rest of the crispy goodness and he pouts at me. “No. You are not an old acquaintance so; therefore, you are not welcome here.” I quip as I pull out my phone and begin sifting through my emails from the weekend as I munch on what was left of the bacon.
“Gabriel is looking a little worse for wear after what you did to him last week. I just wanted to stop in to make sure he didn’t take it too far.” He inquires and I snort at this, but shrug and reply, nonetheless. “He got what he deserved. I had things to do Thursday night otherwise it would’ve been worse for him.” I don’t even bother to ask how he knew about our sparring session last week. I’m sure Gabe squealed like a pig about it. Those Red boys didn’t keep anything from each other.
“I’m not refuting that. We all deserve to suffer for betraying you in any way you deem necessary.” He watches me as I eat and scroll through my emails. Answering the ones from my students about upcoming assignments and moving the ones with unsolicited nudes to a ‘do not open’ folder. People around here were brazened and bold. Some of my male students didn’t care if I was a professor or a seating member of the Order of Red.
Setting my phone down on the island after locking the screen back up, I look back up at him as I raise my mug to my lips for a sip. Sam made a divine cup of coffee. “I agree.” Was all I said to his statement and he raises a brow as if he expects me to say more. I don’t.
“You are okay, then? Gabe can be kind of rough sometimes.” He asks and I almost burst out laughing at that. Sure, Gabe eventually gave me as good as I got but I could hold my own. Probably far better than anyone else that could go up against him. He was trained like I was so it was only natural that he had been a good opponent.
“Do I look unwell? Why don’t you tell me why you’re really here before I start to get really mad, Hawk?” I level my best cool, unimpressed stare on him and he sighs. “I’m only here to check on you. Why do you always expect the worst of us, Honey?” He gives me an exasperated look and his question has both my brows shooting up into my hairline.
“How about because you and your buddies beat me within an inch of my life when I was just thirteen all because your mommies and daddies told you to. If you all had half a brain, you would have realized this by now.” My voice is like a whip and I expect him to flinch, like Gabe had at the gym at my bluntness, but he didn’t. Instead, he just gives a small shake of his head and another long exhale.
“Keep fighting us, Honey. We deserve all the grief and heartache. Trust me, I know. We won’t give up though. Sooner or later, you are going to realize how much we all care for you and how much we are willing to do to win you back. Silas may be on this personal crusade to give you time and space as far as your romantic relationship goes, but I am not. You’re my fucking sister and I’ll do whatever it takes to fix the wrongs of the past.”
Before I can even reply, not really sure I could even form a response to that, he is getting up and stalking out of my kitchen, barely even glancing back at me. The thing about Hawk is that he wears his heart on his sleeve. I knew that every single word he just spoke to me was the truth. It didn’t make it hurt less. In fact, it made my chest constrict even tighter and a small tear escapes down my cheek before I can stop in as I let loose the breath I didn’t even know I was holding.
Violet moves to take care of Hawks dishes but I wave her away and pick up his plate and mug to bring to the dishwasher. Something about what Hawk said really stood out to me and was making me ponder a little too hard this early in the morning. He had said that they deserved the grief and heartache I had to offer. The truth though, they didn’t. Maybe they did in the beginning, but a part of me was starting to realize that the Red boys haven’t once lied to me or gone back on their word since I’ve been back here.
The past won't heal everything in one swoop, though. I believed Hawk when he said that he was going to do whatever it took to fix the wrongs of the past. Silas, Gabe, Kass, and Hawk were just pawns in this game like I had been. I couldn’t keep blaming them for the actions of their manipulating parents. Everyone made their own choices but when you thought about it, how would a bunch of thirteen-year-old boys know they had other choices? Kids were stupid, especially that young.
I’m not trying to make excuses for what they did. I guess I was just trying to take a page out of my momma’s book and try and see things from their perspective, no matter how much my trust issues wanted to prevent that. Sighing heavily, I put Hawks dishes into the dishwasher and when I turned back around, Violet was smiling warmly at me and handing out my briefcase and a traveling mug full of delicious warm coffee in it for me.
Smiling, I kiss her cheek as I pass. “Thanks, Vi. I might be home late tonight as I have a bunch of papers to grade before fall break starts next week and the grades need to be posted.” She just smiles brighter and waves me out of the kitchen. Meeting Sam in the foyer, he has a smile waiting for me and he opens the front door in a flourish for me.
“Your Bugatti is ready, as usual Miss Locke. I hope you have a wonderful day.” He dips his head to me as I smile and walk out the open door. Waving to him as I get into my car, I begin the drive to work. Another long week that will probably get me nowhere and end just as badly.
It’s Wednesday around lunch time that anything even remotely exciting happens to me. Well, I guess I shouldn’t openly admit that running into Silas King picking up a to-go order at the Crimson Grille down the block from CVU was exciting, but after the slow start to my week, it was. Even if he made my heart explode into a million pieces at the dazzling smile he gives me when we run smack into each other as I am entering the restaurant and he is leaving.
I bump off him with an ‘oomph’ and he steadies me with a gentle hand on my bicep before he releases me. “Shit. Sorry. Wasn’t watching where I was going.” Glancing up into his devastating pools of cerulean had me instantly flashing back to the memory of his eyes on me right before he had flipped me over on the couch in the study of my house a few weeks ago… Blushing, I look over his shoulder at the long lunch rush line and groan.
“Hope you have a long lunch. I just waited in that line for almost an hour.” He held up his white plastic bag with the Styrofoam container in it holding his lunch and I groaned again. I was going to have to go somewhere else for lunch. Without replying to him, I turn and walk out of the doorway to the restaurant. It shouldn’t shock me that he follows and catches up to me halfway down the sidewalk to the little cafe down the street. I would just have to grab something quick there. No one wanted to be around me when I was hungry.
“Honey, wait! Here.” He stops me by gently grabbing my forearm and turning me. When I glance down at the bag of food he holds out to me, I have to blink a couple times for my brain to catch up to me on the sidewalk from where it still was back in t
he restaurant, glaring at all the other people who were blessed with long lunch breaks. Narrowing my eyes, I shake my head. “I can’t take your lunch.” I hold up my hands in a placating gesture and push his outstretched hand back but he doesn’t budge, the stubborn bastard.
“Just take it you stubborn woman. It’s nothing. I could have just had my staff make me something at home and it isn’t like I do anything anyways so I can always go back and get another burger. It has all your favorite things on it.” He says, still holding out the bag. Grumbling, I shake my head again. “Yeah. No.” I curl my lip at him but there is no heat behind it. I was really freaking hungry.
“It’s not like I poisoned it or anything.” He laughs as if it’s a joke and I don’t return the sentiment. I don’t find it funny. I raise an auburn brow at him at the comment. “What an incredibly specific thing to say. Why should I believe you?” I quip and his eyes widen as he blinks rapidly at me.
“If I wanted to hurt you, Honey, I wouldn’t be going out of my mind staying away from you like you wished me to do. I am an incredibly selfish man, especially when it comes to you. Take the burger or don’t. I should warn you there is also a lunch rush line at the Crimson Drip too.” He states dryly. Eying him suspiciously, I decide against my better judgment to just give in. I took the bag from him and lifted it to my nose to inhale the aroma of the burger. As if on cue, my stomach lets out a loud and embarrassing growl and Silas chuckles, the sound like music to my ears.
“Thanks, I guess. The University only gives me an hour. I need at least twenty to eat so I wouldn’t have had time to wait in that line and I was really hungry.” I say begrudgingly. I have no idea why I even give a damn to be at least semi polite towards him. Perhaps it’s because he sacrificed his food to me that he just spent the past hour waiting for, I have no idea, but it was making me feel weird. I was probably going to sit down to eat this burger and choke to death on it since it was probably full of poison.
“I definitely don’t regret handing over my food then.” He grins broadly at me and it’s the most beautiful and captivating thing I have ever seen. “I’m going back to my office then on campus. See you around, I guess.” Before he can say anything else, I am hurrying away from him, across the street to the other side where CVU is located. Being that close to Silas King when my resolve was weakening was never a good thing.
Guess I was going to have to start packing a lunch from now on. Maybe I could ask Vi to make my lunches actually enticing so I would be more encouraged to eat in my office. I made a mental note to ask her when I got the chance. I’m sure there were plenty of dishes she could whip up for me to try, like maybe some of her traditional Vietnamese Pho or even her Bánh mì, those things were to die for. My stomach growled again as I kept thinking about her food. I needed to get back to my office fast.
Thursday afternoon, I start to see things. I’m just stepping out into the chilly fall air from the science building around three in the afternoon and something out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. Squinting across the expansive grounds of CVU that make up most of the courtyard and connects all the academic buildings as well as a few of the dorms, a figure is stepping out of the administration building and beginning to hurry across to the English building which is also connected to the Library.
Blinking several times, a memory in the back of my mind sparks at the familiar woman. My mouth parts and my breath fogs out in front of me as I take her in. Was that… Nina Moore? She’s obviously much older than the last time I had seen here at the young age of twelve, but that had to be her. Her long dark hair was half up, half down in a mass of curls that hid most of the lower half of her face as it rustled in the breeze. She had been my best friend, next to Des. I could never forget her...
When she reaches the doors that would lead into the Library, she glances around over her shoulder as if she can feel someone watching her. Her piercing violet blue eyes scan the expansive grounds but she doesn’t notice me standing by the entrance of the Science building, shadowed by the building in the weak afternoon sunlight. Her eyes held an emotion close to anxiety, but I was positive that it was Nina Moore. What is she doing back in Crimson Valley? I thought as I started across the grass in the direction of the Library after she disappeared inside. Silas and the rest of the Red boys ran her off a long time ago.
She had been coming out of the admin building. Was she a student here? Frowning, I stride the rest of the way across the grounds in quick steps. I must look some kind of way because students milling about on the grounds get out of my way as I march. I pushed my way into the Library and stopped in the expansive entrance where a large oak reception area was located and old Miss Carrie was sitting in her swivel chair. She glances up when I come in and gives me a brilliant smile.
“Oh! What a pleasure to see you again Miss Locke. Are you settling in nicely over in the Science wing?” She croons and I glance at her after scanning the front half of the Library beyond the reception area and didn’t spot Nina. “Of course, Miss Carrie. You know I was always a science nerd in school.” I reply. Carrie Smithson used to be a fifth grade English teacher and she had been one of my favorites growing up. When they built CVU after I had left, she must’ve moved to a less stressful position here in the CVU Library.
“I’m glad of it. Glad to have you back home, Honey.” Her smile is genuine enough but the way she says the word home has me pausing. “Did you see a woman come in here a few moments before me? Dark hair, blue eyes?” I ask instead of answering her remarks and she frowns slightly. She glances towards the second level of the Library and I don’t give her a chance to respond.
Sweeping past, I weave my way through the stacks on the bottom level to the very back of the library where a staircase was located to the left side that leads up into the second story. Taking the steps two at a time, I move through the stacks, keeping an eye out for Nina. Just as I am rounding a stack, my gut and senses fail to notify me of a person waiting on the other side and suddenly I am being grabbed by the front of my black Perri Cutten Colette coat and being twisted around and shoved up against the bookcase. Thankfully, the cases in here were bolted to the floors so that when I was slammed into the bookcase, it couldn’t topple over.
I would have retaliated if my instincts hadn’t been on such high alert and I noticed right away who had me pinned against the bookcase. Nina Moore, my oldest friend, blinks up at me with wide eyes before she immediately takes a step back and releases me in the same breath. Before I can react, she is flinging herself at me and I barely manage to catch her before we both go crashing into the bookcase still behind me.
“Oh my God, it’s you! Honey Rose Locke!” She actually starts sobbing into the expensive fabric of my coat and I just hold her there, too stunned to move just yet. “I've wanted to approach you for so long, but I wasn’t sure how.” She pulls back after a moment, her dark-skinned cheeks wet and flushed with tears and vivid emotion and her soft grey eyes swirl with sadness and a bitter pain I knew all too well.
“How long have you been back in town?” I ask, taking another step back from her and trying to ignore the tear stains on my coat. She gives me a weak smile as I cross my arms over my chest. “I heard from Des a few months after… Well, I came back about six months after you bailed. My parents actually never left Crimson Valley, they just moved to the lower burbs on the other side of town, under the Orders’ radar. I went and stayed with my gran for a while until things died down…”
She trailed off and I nod because I understood. More than anyone. Nina had been driven out of Crimson Valley because the Red boys had wanted nothing more than to make her life hell because she was associated with me. Same with Des. They humiliated her to the point that she had almost been driven to the point of suicide in which her parents had intervened and they had left. Well, I thought the whole Moore family had completely relocated, but I guess I had been wrong about that. I guess no one ever gets to really leave Crimson Valley for good, its hold being too toxic and strong fo
r anyone to truly escape it.
“Honey… I’m so terribly sorry about your parents… I had wanted to go to the wake but I just didn’t want to be another shock to your system on such an incredibly tragic day already.” Her words were like a blow to my gut as they brought up a well of emotion and memory that I really would have rather forgotten. I just give her a tight-lipped smile.
“Are you a professor here, too?” I ask instead of responding to her apology. It would do me no good if I dredged all that up and tried to talk about it with her. Nina and I may have been thick as thieves when we were kids, but it had been a long time since I had seen her. I didn’t know her anymore. She had changed so much in the years I’ve been gone.
Running my eyes over her, I get a more in-depth picture of who Nina Moore became after I left Crimson Valley. She was shorter than my 5 foot 4 inches. If I had to take a guess, I would say she was about 5 foot even, even in the black ankle boots she wore with a small two-inch heel. She has the sleeves of a deep burgundy sweater rolled up to her elbows to reveal the faint, but still there, scars that she had scored into her skin years ago and she doesn’t shy away from them.
She has a tattoo of a monarch butterfly on the right side of her neck above the collar of the sweater with tiny posy flowers of deep reds, oranges, and yellows stretch up from the butterfly to disappear up behind her ear. The ink looks beautiful against her dark skin, vibrant and colorful. She has a small scar running down her left cheek that stands out a bit more than her other scars on her forearms and I am interested to find out eventually the story behind that since it looks newer. Up closer to her, I notice her eyes aren’t as violet blue as I had first thought. The sun must have been playing tricks on me. Her eyes were different than I remember, but I guess age and time apart will do that to someone. They were almost like a heather gray with softer flecks throughout her irises.
Whiskey & Honey: Crimes of Crimson Valley: Book One Page 15