“It is no concern of mine what he chose to do with whoever he wanted after I left. He doesn’t belong to me and I don’t belong to him.” The words are like ash on my tongue, but anger made me say stupid things. Des raises his eyebrows at that but doesn’t comment. Instead, we move onto talk of the townhouse. “I messaged Jackson when I was up at the counter waiting on our drinks and he is beyond excited for the move. He has already bought half of his Amazon wish list to start decorating as soon as possible. Honey, we can’t thank you enough for this. I just hope you don’t get any backlash about it from my evil parents.” He sighs, his face downcast at that and I reach across the table and take his clenched fist in my hand. He immediately relaxes at my touch and when he looks back up at me, I smile, but it is an evil sort of smile.
“I would eat your parents up, chew them to bits, and spit them back out in a span of a minute if they even think to come at me because of this. You are an adult now, Des. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are happy. I would be delighted if Mr. and Mrs. Williams came to me with any sort of complaint. It is due time they got what was coming to them.” My voice was sweet, but it was deadly all the same. A wicked smile curls the corners of my best friend's mouth at that and we spend the next hour going over plans for the townhouse and just catching up. It was the afternoon out that I didn’t know I needed and something good came of it. Now, I just needed to figure out what the hell Rebecca and Silas’ ex were up to before it came back to bite us all in the ass.
I drop Des off with a promise to see him on Tuesday when my lawyer is scheduled to come in the afternoon to sign over all the proper documents to Des and Jackson. I also told him I would run interference when he needed to start packing up his things in case his parents decided to test the limits. I would gladly throw down for my best friend right now. Afterwards, I drove to Hawk’s place but sat in the circle driveway for a good ten minutes just scrolling through my phone before I went in. I had over a dozen messages from Silas and a few from the other three boys.
Silas: Honey, you need to let me explain.
Silas: I swear, my little Honey, whatever you are thinking, don’t. I promise nothing happened between Emma and I.
Silas: Look, I get you are mad and you have a right to be, but please don’t ignore me. You know what it does to me.
Silas: I just punched a hole in Hawk’s basement wall. I think I broke a few fingers. Come nurse me back to health?
Silas: The next punch is going in Hawk’s pretty boy face if you don’t answer me.
Silas: I am about to start driving around town with my broken fingers to find your gorgeous ass if you don’t answer me.
Silas: Honey, please dear God. Have mercy on me? You know I love you too much to let something like this ruin us.
I stop reading after that message because I have way too many emotions to continue on after that. How could one man infuriate me so much one second, and then make we want to kiss him stupid the next? He just freaking told me in a text that he loved me. Love! Fuck. He was going to be my damnation for sure. Swinging my door open, I step out onto the pavement and slam my door shut, clutching my phone in my fist as I stop up the stone steps of Hawk’s mansion. I nearly kick the door in when I barge in, his doorman’s eyes widening when I come in with steam practically coming out of my ears.
“SILAS EZRA KING! You have five seconds to get your ass in here before I start breaking things and it will be all your fault!” It was a little over the top, but I blame it on the jealousy. My voice bellows out and carries through the house. It is followed by loud crashing coming from deeper into the house passed the grand foyer and equally loud roars and cursing follow the crashing sounds. I take up a power stance in the middle of the foyer, crossing my arms over my chest and tapping my boot against the marble floors and not even three seconds later, Silas comes flying into the foyer followed closely by Hawk, Kass, and Gabe. “Little Honey-”
“Don’t you dare.” I cut him off with a warning, leveling him with a death glare. “How dare you? How fucking dare you tell me you love me in a goddamn text message? I don’t accept that shit. Say it to my face, or don’t say it at all. Those are your options.” I have no idea why that is the first thing out of my mouth, but it is. His eyes widen for a split second, obviously not expecting me to start off with that, and then he has the decency to look ashamed. “You weren’t answering… I figured it would be a good way to lure you in. It worked, didn’t it?” Oh, this cocky asshole. My jaw clenches and I see out of my periphery that Hawk, Kass, and Gabe have the decency to slink back the way they came to give us some privacy, though there wasn’t much in the middle of the grand foyer with Hawk’s doorman standing there awkwardly while we hashed out all our pent-up anger and sexual aggression towards one another.
“I honestly thought you were going to lead off this epic argument with the audacity I have in taking other women to my bed when you left. I was then going to call you a hypocrite and then the argument would get so bad, I would be forced to my knees to apologize because I am, in fact, an inconsiderate asshole.” He begins when I don’t say anything after a moment, my face blank but my anger is burning hot. Now that he brought it up though, my eyes narrow in on him just a fraction and I see it the moment he realizes he fucked up again. He opens his mouth again to probably go on and on apologizing for his past indiscretion, but I needed to say my piece.
“I was fine forgetting all about your poor choice in women before I even walked through that door. I came here because I am worried more than anything about what an ex of yours is doing meeting with your mother, but then you had to go and blow my phone up with shit like that? When you first tell a girl you love her, Silas, that isn’t the way you do it, you do it properly so that the person you’re supposedly confessing your love for doesn’t murder you because you’re an imbecile.” I can see he is clearly confused by my words so I sigh and raise a hand to rub my temples at the headache I can feel forming. My anger has reached the point of flesh burning temperatures and that was never good for my brain in the aftermath so I really needed to work on getting my temper under control. Sure, my favorite pastime is arguing with Silas about pretty much anything, but we were going to be off to a bad start in our relationship if I let anger guide my words instead of explaining to him how I feel.
“Am I angry you dated after I left? Sure. However, I have had over an hour to think this through before I came here. We have both done things in the past ten years we are not proud of. I spent the time away fucking any man I could get my hands on just so I could forget you.” That was an over exaggeration, but I just continue on anyway even when hurt flashes in his eyes. I sigh, “I had just had my heart shattered by the one person I should have been able to trust with my life. The boy I had begun falling in love with. The choices I made are done and over with and I decided before I came in here, I wasn’t going to judge you for the choices you had to make while we were apart.” He stands there while I pour my heart out to him, his eyes full of so much emotion, and I can feel it all rushing out of me like the dam has been broken yet again.
“We have a long way to go to build back what we had before that awful night all those years ago. I am willing to work with you on that, but I am not going to have you do stuff like that text again. You want to tell me you love me? Say it to my face. I can’t promise I can return the sentiment right now, but just know you are not alone in your feelings, Silas. If this is going to work, we need to do it together. We need to actually learn how to talk to one another and communicate effectively.” I step up to him then and lay a hand on his cheek. The anger about Emma and the texts draining out of me in a rush of emotion. He leans his face against my palm and I lean in to rest my forehead against his chest, but just for a moment. A moment later, he reaches up a hand and tangles his fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck and drags my face up to look at him. Regret, sadness, and understanding are swirling in his eyes, tinged with an anger that I am not sure is directed at me.
“I promise
I will try and be a better man, Honey… As long as you promise to be as honest as that with me for the rest of our lives. I am only human and I can’t even begin to understand the way your mind works, but I am willing to learn if you are willing to be honest and patient with me.” His words hit me like a train and a stupid tear slips out of my eye before I can stop it. I seem to cry a lot around him, but the raw emotion I feel has a lot to do with it I am sure. The moment is ruined however when a buzzing sound rings through the foyer and Hawk’s doorman goes to the far wall by the front doors and pushes down on the button. A voice floats through a moment later.
“Could you let Master Hawk know that his pizza has arrived?” The droll voice comes through the coms and I assume it is coming from the guys on Hawk’s front gate. I literally bust out laughing at the ‘master Hawk’ thing and the man himself comes sauntering into the foyer and raises his eyebrows at me as I bend over and away from Silas, my hands braced on my knees as I laugh so hard tears come out of my eyes. It had been the perfect moment to break up the tension that was hanging in the air between Silas and I.
“You make your gate guards call you master Hawk?” I wheeze out on a laugh and he grins and shrugs like it is no big deal. “Sure. Why not? They call my mother and father the Lady and Lord of the house but only behind their backs.” He says as his doorman swings open the door as the pizza delivery guy is coming up the stone steps, a huge pizza bag in his hands as he struggles to carry it all up. “Jesus. How much pizza do four guys need?” My eyes widen at the stack he pulls out of the hot bag, six boxes total, and Kass and Gabe laugh at my expense as they move forward to help grab the food, ravenous looks of hunger on their face. Freaking vultures.
“Bottomless pits. The lot of you.” I mumble as I straighten back up. All four of them laugh at that and Silas eventually steps away from me and I feel the loss of him immediately, wanting to be close to him again in spite of the anger I was still feeling. I follow the boys into Hawk’s kitchen which is deeper into his house and his cook is standing in the middle of the modernized massive kitchen with his hands on his hips and glaring daggers at the boys as they set the boxes of pizza out on the island. “If it wasn’t for the fact you had a lady guest over, Mr. Rhodes, I would be having a few choice words with you about this… abomination. I could have made you fresh pizzas if you had asked.” His cook narrows his eyes at Hawk and the guy in question just shrugs.
“Romano’s is so much better though, Bevins. Now please leave. I’m sure Honey doesn’t care about your opinion on anything.” Hawk drawls as he levels a look on the cook who flushes a bright scarlet color at the clear dismissal. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing because I swear I am not a rude person but Hawk just always knows how to bring out the laughter in me even when it is entirely too inappropriate. Bevins leaves though, huffing and puffing on his way out, leaving us all alone in the kitchen. He turns to me then and holds up a hand to the other three before they can start in on the boxes of pizza.
“Let our queen eat first, gentlemen.” I want to snort at this but when Silas, Gabe, and Kass take a step back from the island to make room for me, my jaw almost hits the floor. They look at me expectantly and suddenly unsure what to do in this bizarre situation, I move forward and clamp my mouth shut as I search through the box until I find one I like. I sigh when I find the Hawaiian and pull out a thick slice and proceed to shove about half of it in my mouth, my hunger hitting me out of nowhere. No fucks given here. When I turn around and lean my butt against the island top, mouth full of pizza with the other half hanging in my right hand, I take in all four of the guys' looks of awe and amusement. A blush creeps my cheeks at how open and laid back I feel in this moment but I can’t say I absolutely hate it.
Chewing and swallowing what I had in my mouth, I wave them forward like any proper queen would. “You may proceed.” I chuckle as I take another bite of pizza and they swarm in like vultures and bustle around me, light conversation starting up around us until they grab their pizza and start to dig in where it then becomes silent. After a few silent minutes where we all stuffed our faces, Kass eventually breaks the silence. “So. We obviously need to talk about the Silas’ ex situation amongst other things.” He begins and the glare Silas shoots his brother almost makes me laugh. “How do we even know it’s something serious? Emma Erickson always had a thing for being up my mother’s ass all the time. She could just be trying to climb the social ladder again.” Silas points out as he wipes his fingers on a napkin. I shake my head when he looks at me.
“It looked like they were making a deal and that girl seemed way too eager about whatever it was.” I decided to point out myself because something about that meeting had definitely set me on edge and I didn’t even blame it on the jealousy. That girl just hadn’t seemed right in my opinion and nothing good can come out of a meeting with Rebecca King. Also, there had to be a good reason why Rebecca was meeting with one of her son’s ex’s so out of the blue like that. “Also, I don’t think we should talk about this stuff here.”
“Where do you suggest we go then? There aren't very many private places around Crimson Valley to have these sorts of conversations.” Gabe says and I bite my lip as I think about it. I had already decided I was going to tell the boys about my parents’ cabin. It was out of the way and the Order didn’t know about it, so it would be the best option. I search all their faces and I notice Silas exchanging quick glances with the boys, something flashing in their eyes, but it is gone before I can figure out what it is. Eventually, I just sigh and rub at my forehead.
“I know just the place.”
Silas remained silent on the way to the cabin, seated in my passenger seat and Gabe, Hawk, and Kass followed behind me in Gabe’s Range Rover. I try to gauge his reaction when I pull off the interstate and drive slowly down the scenic route and straight to the cabin but he is about as emotionless as a cucumber the whole time and it weirds me out. I figured he would have used this opportunity that we are alone in my car to make moves on me, but he hasn’t. He actually hardly looks at me until I pull up in front of my parents’ cabin, Gabe parking his Range Rover beside me. When he glances out the windshield at it, his brows raise to his hairline as he glances over at me.
“I felt like growing up I knew these woods around Crimson Lake like the back of my hand, but I had no idea this was ever here. A property owned by your parents?” He asks and I nod, biting my lip as I look away from him and out the windshield. “This was a safe haven for my parents and I growing up so no one ever knew about it.” I shrug and go to get out of the car when I notice Gabe, Hawk, and Kass getting out to inspect the property. Silas puts a hand on my forearm before I can slip out and when I look back over at him, his eyes are conflicted.
“About earlier with our fight…” He begins and pauses, looking unsure and dare I say afraid? I just shake my head at him. “I know there was a lot I said but I tend to say a lot of stuff when I am angry.” I manage and it is his turn to shake his head, eyes flickering with emotions so fast I can barely pick up on them. “No, about Emma. I know you didn’t ask for an apology, but I want to give one. If I would have had a choice, I never would have gone out with her. Things… they got bad after you left. All of our parents got pretty controlling until we turned eighteen and started to put our feet down on some things.” He goes on and I feel a pang in my chest for him. For Hawk, Gabe, and Kass. I had spent so long fixated on the way they betrayed me I had never stopped to look at the bigger picture. They had just been thirteen-year-old boys at the time. Who the hell even knows what their parents had held over them to get them to do what they did ten years ago?
“Silas… you don’t have to explain yourself to me. We all made choices in the time we were apart and I can’t take back the things I have done so I am choosing not to get into it with you because then it would make me a hypocrite.” I sigh. Sure, that irrational part of me was still angry he had dated while I was gone but I couldn’t hold that against him. “Some things are better off left in the
past.” I shrug, trying to sum up my thoughts in one sentence. He searches my face for a moment as I stare into his dark eyes before he eventually sighs and nods, letting it drop. I give him a small smile before I exit the car and he and I join the other three in front of the massive cabin. Hawk whistles when I come up beside him and slings his arm over my shoulder.
“You’ve been holding out on us, Rosie! You’ve had this pad to yourself all these years?” I snort as he pulls me into his side and Silas reaches over and smacks his friend upside the head whilst muttering “Hands off my girl.” And it makes me blush and turn my face away as I look towards the side. As I pull away from Hawk and move to go towards the side main entrance, I call over my shoulder. “The best things are kept a secret for a reason!” They laugh as they follow me and as I near the steps that lead up to the front door, something twists inside my gut as I take in the front door, eyes zooming in on the iron doorknob hanging off at an odd angle. Dread pools in my belly as the memory of Asuka’s vague threat surfaces and a choked sound comes out of me before I can stop it and I am flying at the front door and ripping it open in the next second.
When I rush inside, what I find brings me to my knees. The sound that comes out of me doesn’t even sound human. It is a keening sound of sorrow and devastation as I take in the utter destruction around me. Furniture is smashed to pieces all around, glass shattered all over the floor everywhere and when my eyes zero in on the smashed coffee table my papa built for my momma for their wedding, a cry tears out of me. I lurch to my feet again, not even paying attention to my surroundings until I land on my knees again in front of the smashed trophy case. I could care less about the useless trophies smashed to pieces around me. Instead, my eyes take in the boxes ripped to shreds that used to hold all my childhood memories in them.
Whiskey & Honey: Crimes of Crimson Valley: Book One Page 27