by Bellus, HJ
Chapter 1
Graduation
Today’s the day, the biggest day of my life, high school graduation. It’s just hours away. I can’t wait to walk across that stage into my adulthood. First, I have to make it through my Valedictorian speech without puking or crapping in my pretty, little panties. Rhett promised me he would keep me focused from the audience.
Rhett is the love of my life. I’m only eighteen, but I know that Rhett’s my forever. I’m leaving my childhood and hometown behind to be with him while he chases his dreams. We’re making a road trip across the country because he earned a full ride scholarship to play football at Boise State. He was just named the top high school quarterback in the nation, and he’s all mine.
My momma has been shedding tears since the day I told her I would be leaving the day after graduation. Her tears of pain have had no effect on my decision. I love my momma and my dad, but Rhett is my everything.
We were the homecoming king and queen every year of high school, even our freshmen year. Yes, we will be the power couple that will walk the red carpet one day at the ESPYs. He took my virginity in the back of his truck and slipped a promise ring on my finger the very next day. I gave my first blowjob to him in the same truck. We’ve been inseparable all through high school. He’s the sugar to my tea and everything in between.
I look around my very bare room, as I put the finishing touches on my hair. The walls were once filled with boy band posters, prom pictures and Rhett. My canopy bed and pink comforter have all vanished leaving just the bare framework of my bed. You couldn’t even tell that a spoiled, little girl grew up in this room. I packed it all up and stuffed my cherished memories into Rhett’s truck yesterday.
My mother’s sobs are now echoing from her room. She is so overreacting to me leaving with Rhett. She wanted me to stay in Tennessee and go to her Alma Mater, the University of Tennessee. Momma and Dad met at Tennessee and bled white and orange. My older sister, Tommie, and I were basically born in orange Tennessee onesies and sang the fight song from the age of two. My parents are season ticket holders and Daddy would drag his little girls to every game dressed in school colors. I basically had a permanent-temporary orange T pasted to my cheek growing up.
Tommie, crushed my parents’ dreams when she went off to school in Texas and has since become a veterinarian. My dad was proud, but momma was so damn stubborn and had way too much flamboyant pride to admit her approval. She wanted her girls to stay in her home state of Tennessee, marry a country club boy and be the perfect little housewives. You could call her old fashion and vain to a point. My momma is beautiful and always dresses to supreme perfection. Tommie was more than Momma could handle. She was a tomboy who loved dirt, animals and grease. She is Daddy’s daughter.
On the other hand, I’m my momma’s daughter. I’ve always been her little pageant queen, making her proud with my perfectly fit body, tan skin and always flawless hair. Yes, I have her genes and talent to make it look damn good. I know that I’m beautiful. My parents have always made sure that I have the best of everything. Only name brands for me. Momma has dressed and groomed me with her love for the last eighteen years. It’s now my time and not even my momma is going to stop me from leaving with Rhett.
Momma’s really going to throw a hissy fit when I inform her that Rhett is picking me up for graduation. I’m hoping for a quickie in the truck on the way to the high school auditorium. I need something to calm my nerves before my Valedictorian speech. I have a little black dress on under my scarlet red gown and killer Louis Vuitton red high heels Momma bought. I bought an extra sexy, lacy thong and bra to wear under my dress. It’s going to be Rhett’s present later. We made plans to visit the lake one last time after graduation. Only about four hours until I’m under Rhett at the lake one last time before we flee into our future together.
Waltzing downstairs, I take in the sight and smell of my home for one of the last times. Daddy’s sitting in his suit at the table reading a sports magazine. I’ll miss the sight of him at that table. He’s always there when you need him no matter the time, always willing to fork over his credit card without question when I want a new pair of high heels or a designer pair of jeans. He knew momma wanted me to be dressed the best. The man truly loves his girls with his whole heart and bank account.
“Hey, Daddy!” I say, as I hug him.
“Look at my baby girl.”
“Rhett’s almost here. He’s giving me a ride to the high school.”
“Tess,” he says in a warning voice. I know what’s coming next. Lecture! “Your momma isn’t going to be happy about that. You need to let her have this time with you. I know you don’t understand.”
“Daddy, I’m going with Rhett. End of story.”
“I know you want your own life right now, but baby girl you’re going to miss this one day believe it or not.”
“Tell Momma I will ride to Rhett’s graduation party with you guys afterwards. Meet you guys at the school rock for pictures. Love you, Daddy.” I yell as I run out the door.
The thundering rumble of Rhett’s badass truck pulls up outside and is parked on the corner right next to the light pole. Same place, same truck, same man, but always new butterflies floating around in me. Even after four years of hearing the sound of his truck roaring into my neighborhood, I still get thrilling tingles shooting down my spine. Instantly racing outside, forgetting all about my mommas feelings, I let the door and my boobies bounce to give my man a little show. With my cap and gown in a garment bag thrown over my shoulder, I let Rhett take in all of my size D cup tits. They were his favorite. Which was another one of my daddy’s gifts that my momma insisted on. She wanted my breasts to fit the rest of my very curvy body.
***
I did it! The perfect speech of my life…check. Prettiest girl at graduation…check. Hottest pair of red high heels…check. Rhett definitely helped by calming my nerves before the ceremony. We had found our favorite old dirt road and took care of business.
I’m pissed because I promised my daddy I would ride with them to Rhett’s party. I want to be in the middle of Rhett’s truck straddling his gearshift, holding his hand and teasing his inner thigh. We finished up all the pictures with my parents and friends in front of the school rock. In one picture, we had Tommie on FaceTime and proudly showed her face to the photographer on the iPad as she snapped the family shot. Most families just use their digital camera. Not my momma. My momma hired a professional photographer to take pictures. It’s all okay because I really wanted to show off my red high heels to the world tonight.
I begrudgingly climb into the back of Momma’s black Escalade. I’m trying very hard not to act like a spoiled brat. They have had me the last eighteen years and need to let me go. Be nice just be nice and remember they love you Tess is the mantra that I keep replaying in my mind.
My daddy starts talking about all the sports scholarships that were awarded to the very talented athletes. He definitely helps tone down my bitter mood with his endless rambling. I should be happy and thankful, but it is so hard when your heart belongs to one person.
A warm memory envelopes my senses and takes me back to the days of my childhood. Growing up, I was always tucked between my momma and daddy on road trips. Tommie and I couldn’t handle sitting by each other for more than five minutes without blood being drawn. I was always bestowed the privilege of being nestled between my parents in the front seat. Definitely the brat of the family. Daddy always had his salty sunflower seeds stashed under the radio, and Momma would sing to me while she braided and unbraided my hair. I loved sneaking into those salty seeds. The prick of the salt would leave tiny little sores in my mouth.
The memory silently guides my body to climb up in the front seat right between my momma and daddy. I flip
up the console and get buckled. My sneaky fingers find Daddy’s salty seeds and my other hand grasps onto my momma’s. They continued to argue about whom actually received the scholarships while I just savored the tang of the salt. My daddy was right, I am going to miss them.
“Tess. I just want to tell you I am proud of you. Tennessee or not. I love you baby girl.”
“Thanks, Momma. I love…”
Before I could get the word “you” out a loud squealing sound takes over. My daddy’s arm instinctively flies across my chest to protect me from oncoming danger. A flash and shards of glass pepper my face spearing into my tender flesh. I feel and hear my momma’s body crack into pieces next to me. Each of her bones make a horrendous sound as they break. My head instantly spins with confusion trying desperately to grip onto any shred of sanity. The Escalade starts somersaulting across the road. That’s when I notice my daddy’s protective arm is gone. When the car and my head finish spinning, I reach out to find my Daddy, but nothing. He’s gone.
My momma’s crushed, bloody body spanned over my lap. Blood, glass and smoke everywhere invading all my senses, and of all things, I’m too scared to panic. My knee silently pulses, and I can’t even start to explain why. Finally, I gather enough senses to scream for my daddy, the one person who always saves me. Glancing in the driver’s seat again, I search for him one more time. Instead, my bloody, torn leg is staring back at me. The red high heel is the absolute epitome of the devil staring back at me. My eyes instantly flash down, and the silent pulse comes alive at the realization that my leg is missing.
I try desperately to talk to my momma, but she doesn’t respond, so panic sets in, and I start to shake her. Rolling momma over to face me, her bloody, broken, beaten face stares back at me. Nothing resembles her pretty face not the tiniest hint. Her throat is slashed and gaping open. I can feel the hot air escaping the bloody wound. Gurgling and gasping sounds fill the cab of the car. She’s fighting, fighting for air. Bloody air bubbles escape her. With my shaking hands, I cover her throat trying to create a seal to save her precious oxygen supply. I can hear gasping air, still a sure sign she is still fighting but losing the battle. One more silent gasp escapes her and then nothing. She loses the battle in my arms. I lose it…all control. Everything goes black.
Chapter 2
Red
3 Days Later
I open my eyes to see Tommie curled up next to me in bed. This isn’t my bedroom or hers. The sterile environment is cold and harsh. I lift my head to get a better view and still don’t understand where I am. My whole body is numb, and it takes all my concentration just to move my arm. I spot a vase of red roses in the corner. Red. I remember red. The blood. My high heel. My momma’s throat. Violent screams escape from my body and I fight desperately to get out of bed. Tommie tries to grab me, but it’s too late. As I fly to the floor, my leg fails me. I can hear Will, Tommie’s husband, yelling for a nurse and then immediately feel Tommie cradling me in her arms on the floor.
“Tess. Tess. Tess.” The only thing she can say to me is my name. I know something is bad, very, very bad.
“Momma?” I whisper into Tommie’s chest already knowing full well Momma is dead.
She died in my arms. Tommie just shakes her head and starts to cry.
“Daddy?” I whisper, in a stronger voice hoping and praying.
Tommie just cries louder. My daddy is dead too. I can’t cry.
The nurse and Will lift me back up in the bed. Then the memory of my bloody knee hits me. I look down to see my right leg is gone. Everything below the kneecap has disappeared. I have one foot and five toes painted bright red. Red. I fucking hate red. My eyes flash back to the red roses. I don’t see Rhett, but I see his writing on an envelope propped up on the vase holding the fucking red roses.
Tommie is now bawling uncontrollably. My body is shaking with anger at all the red around me. “Rhett. Where is he?” I finally ask.
Tommie wails even louder. Will grabs the envelope and hands it to me.
“I asked a question. Where is he? Why isn’t he here with me?”
“Tess, he left you,” Will replies.
Tearing open the envelope, I sink so low, I lose the rest of my shattered self and any hope for the future.
Dearest Tessa,
Just know I love you with all my heart. I stayed here with you the first night and felt my world crumble. The doctors told us you lost your leg and would need months to recover. I can’t stay here with you while you do so. I need to go to Idaho to training camp. You know football is my world. My parents and I have decided that it would be best for me to continue forward as planned. I can’t deal with any of the emotions. It comes down to the game for me. Like I said, never forget how much I love you. This is the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make. Your sister isn’t happy with me, but I have to do what is best for me. We had the best years together in high school, and it just needs to stay that way. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be on me.
Love,
Rhett
Tears finally make their way to my eyes. I pick up a large book that is lying on the table next to my bed and sling it at the red roses. They fall to the ground and the glass shatters everywhere. The breaking glass is a welcoming noise to my ears. Grabbing the nearest vase of flowers, I hurl them against the wall, too. The need to break everything in front of me is overwhelming. My arms are out of control launching shit everywhere. Will finally wraps me up to restrain me while a nurse puts something in my IV. Everything goes dark again.
A Week Later
I’m at my parents’ funeral in a wheelchair, heavily sedated from physical and mental pain. I told Tommie that Rhett’s parents weren’t welcome anywhere near me. My mind numb and my shell of a body sit in front of my parents’ dead bodies. Their dead, lifeless bodies. They had to beg for one car ride with their selfish, bitch of a daughter. One fucking car ride.
Chapter 3
Cinnamon Jolly Ranchers
4 Years Later
I hate the fucking dentist. But has that ever stopped me from chomping on hard candy? No! I knew this day was coming since Jolly Ranchers have been my drug of choice for years now. Damn ‘effin teeth and damn ‘effin dentists.
I’m spending the summer with Tommie and Will while I try to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I recently earned my nursing degree from a college near my hometown, but in all honesty, I don’t know if I want to be a nurse. There are moments where I see myself saving Momma, and those precious moments drove me to be an ER nurse. If I’m telling the whole truth, I only went to college to appease my sister. She has tried to make everything normal in my life since graduation. Fact is, I hate college and the life I’m supposed to live. The only good thing that came from college was my best friend, Scarlett. She’s spending the summer with us.
I’m working with Tommie at her small animal vet clinic, and Scarlett is interning for the local CPA. She’s thrilled because I guess her boss is one hot piece of ass. I give her two more days before she’s boning him. Scarlett’s a slut and makes no apologies for it. It doesn’t matter if they are married, old, ugly, hot as hell or scrawny, if she’s feeling it, she does them. I live vicariously through her wild sex stories.
I broke my tooth this morning on a damn cinnamon Jolly Rancher. Will is a pediatrician and owns his own practice. He shares a large office suite with a dentist, so Will made an appointment with him.
Sitting here in the waiting room ready to pass out from fear, I realize I may just die from anxiety. Even as a young child I hated the dentist. I remember biting, kicking and screaming while my momma tried to hold me down in the chair. She bribed me with everything under the sun if I would just be good. The only thing that would calm my nerves was my momma. She would hold my hand and sing in my ear. Today that wasn’t an option. Tommie offered to come, but I told her that her singing skills suck ass, which I might add is very true. I begged Will just to knock my ass out with some strong drugs, but he said that
it was illegal.
So, I sit here picking at my worn blue jeans. The hole on my upper thigh is getting rather large. I know I need a new pair of jeans, but I despise shopping, period. One pair of jeans and plenty of tees are good enough for me. I own a couple of pairs of shorts that I only wear in the privacy of my home. Life is very simple for me.
The piercing ding of the door opening draws my attention from nervously picking at my pants. I look up to see another patient entering the small waiting room. Panic sets in and I start to sweat. My name is going to be called any moment. Wringing my hands together, as the patient who just walked in plops down beside me. If I look up I may puke.
“Uh? You okay?” Comes a deep, dark voice that vibrated through my whole body.
I’m in no mood for small talk. The need to focus on not having a complete mental breakdown over getting a tooth fixed at the age of twenty-two is all but consuming me at the moment.
I look up and deep brown hair and olive skin with high-defined cheekbones are the first things I notice about him. Shaggy and messy hair all combine together to create a beautiful masterpiece. I look into the stranger’s deep dark brown eyes and completely freeze with a sensation of belonging. My eyes immediately are magnetized to his. A couple freckles lightly splatter the bridge of his nose. His body is tall and lean. The stranger’s a beautiful man. I know the word beautiful and man typically don’t go together, but he is completely beautiful. There’s a simple essence about him that makes my tummy flip. There is a force in the room that is dragging me to him.
Then my ever so brilliant mouth decides to work. “No, I’m scared shitless. I am twenty-two and believe all dentists are evil minions sent to do the devil’s work. I want my momma right now and I can’t have her.”
Tears fill my eyes before I realize it and try desperately to dry them and will them away forever. This is ridiculous. I’m an absolute emotional basket case, but I never share my craziness with anyone except Tommie and Scarlett. All the devastation and my irrational emotions have been bottled up inside me for years. Why now in a dentist office in front of a beautiful stranger am I going to lose my shit?