by Bellus, HJ
“These, please?” Scarlett asks one final time, holding up the little white pair of shorts again.
“Not a fucking chance. This glitter and shiny hair are about enough to put me over the edge.”
“You are such a liar,” she counters.
“Am not. My skin is crawling.”
“Yeah, crawling with delight. I saw you checking yourself out in the mirror. You’re hot and you know it. Now, let’s go flaunt it. I’m horny as fuck tonight.”
“Let’s go,” I say between giggles.
The girl can read me like an open book. She’s right, I’m hot, and I feel hot. Will and Tommie are eating their takeout pizza as we enter the room. Will nearly chokes at the sight of us and Tommie lets out an audible gasp.
“What?” I ask.
“It smells like a whorehouse in here,” Will says.
Tommie elbows him in the gut and begins to talk, “You. You look. Dammit, I’m sorry. You look like the Tessa, I remember. Well, your hair is a little different, but you look beautiful and kind of happy.” Tommie finishes as the tears start to stream down both her cheeks.
“Oh, good gravy, she’s just going out to either A, make Finn jealous or B, get nailed in the closet again,” Scarlett pipes, as she snags a slice of pizza from the box.
My stomach is too nervous to eat, but as if in slow motion, I watch the only family I know sit around and laugh about the old Tess coming out to play while eating pizza. It warms my heart to hear and see this all play out before me, and at the same time it breaks the already shattered pieces of it again and again. Over and over in slow motion. Once a heart is put back together the only thing left to do is shattered it again and again. I need to remember my lesson. It was taught to me years ago.
“Tess. Tessss,” Tommie’s voice drags me from my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“You okay, sweetie?” She asks.
“Great,” I lie between my teeth.
The answer isn’t completely a lie. I’m great, but scared to death, intimidated by Kara, head over heels for Finn and terrified of the outcome.
Tommie makes her way to me and wraps me up.
“Don’t make me cry, asshat,” I warn her.
“I’m not. I just want to tell you something, Tessa. I’m so proud of you. I don’t care what happens tonight or if things work or don’t work out with Finn. Just bring back that Tess Tickle Sparkle that Daddy always bragged about. He loved you. Momma loved you. Will and I love you. Get your sparkle back. I’ll have four slices of pizza waiting for us in the fridge tomorrow morning just the way Momma always did on pizza nights. Two pieces wrapped and put on separate plates for us. Scooby-Doo plate for me and Smurfette for you. Make me proud, little sis.”
“Can you trampettes get your asses out of my house. You’re stinking it up,” Will yells.
“Ahh, kiss my culo,” I holler back to Will.
“Be good, girls.” Are the last words we hear as we slam the door and make it to my truck.
“They really do love you, Tess. You should let go of all your fears,” Scarlett says.
“I know. Now, let’s get our Miranda Lambert on, biotch.”
Cranking up the radio, I drive carefree and happy-ish to the G Spot. I’m at the point in my life, whatever will happen will happen. Hearts are made to be broken, and you’ll never know if the person is really worth the fight until you pour every ounce of your soul into them. I’m ready.
Walking into the G Spot, I remember why pants and a hot Iowa night is not a good combo. It’s beyond humid and hot in the crowded bar with bodies everywhere. Some standing, others sitting and some already drunken girls grinding on each other on the dance floor to Jason Aldean is the scene that lies before us. They definitely know what they are doing as a quite large crowd of men are giving them plenty of attention with catcalls and stares.
“Shots now,” I yell in Scarlett’s ear.
As soon as the words leave my lips, I see him. Finn is in the group of guys admiring the girls on the dance floor. I’m not quite fast enough, and we lock eyes. Scarlett pulls me away before I make too big of a fool of myself.
“What do you want?” She hollers, as I scramble back trying to find Finn in the crowd.
The sea of bodies are too much, and the sight of him is gone. I’m sure by now he’s in the closet with one of the girls from the dance floor.
“Holy shit,” I holler.
“What?”
Grabbing Scarlett by the elbow and dragging her down, I begin to holler, “One of those girls on the dance floor was Kara. Finn was there watching her.”
Scarlett seems amused by the story and something beyond me has her really intrigued.
“Did you hear a word I said? Finn’s here and watching Kara,” I try yelling over the music
“I hear you. What shot do you want?” She asks with a wicked smile and an odd eye twitch.
Scarlett thinks she can wink, but really she looks like the entire right side of her face is spazzing, but it never stops her.
“I don’t see him anymore. They are probably back in our closet and I’m sure he’s dragging that tongue of his up her legs,” I scream trying to make Scarlett understand how very pissed off I am at the whole situation.
In this moment, I know I’ve fucked something up. Scarlett begins to mouth the word “abort” our signal word to abort mission and begins to wave her hand at her neck the second signal to shut the fuck up immediately.
“She wants a Copper Camel shot and then a crown and coke. You in too?”
Turning, I see Finn standing right behind me pointing at Scarlett waiting for her to agree on the drink order.
“Um, sure, that’ll be great,” she barely squeaks out before running for the bathroom.
Finn grabs me by the hips and turns me to face the bar again. I can feel every single part of him as he presses against me. His scent instantly invades my nostrils. From the quick glimpse of him I got, it looks like he just jumped off the tractor and headed in for a beer. Loose jeans, white tee and a ballcap with his long scruffy hair hanging out of.
“What were you saying about my tongue?” He asks, as he drags his tongue from the base of my neck to the back of my ear.
His hands move from my hips to the front of my stomach, he uses them to pull me back into him. My ass doesn’t miss a beat and begins to grind on him to the music while we wait to order.
“I WILL only be going into that closet with you. Do you hear me?” Finn hisses in my ear.
I slowly nod my head up and down as I continue to move my hips in circles against the front of him. Finn grabs both of my arms, raising them above my head and settling them on the back of his neck. My hands instantly clasp and my body enjoys the feel of him everywhere.
“Hey, dickweed, what can I get you? “
Finn raises his head and chuckles. “Two Copper Camels and three crown and cokes, asshole. Oh hey, this is Tess. Tess, this is my bastard of a brother, Wes.”
“Hi,” I barely squeak out ready to die from embarrassment.
Instantly, I try to free my hands that have glued to Finn, but he stops me. I try to step away to allow some air to flow between us, but he just gets closer.
“I’m not letting go,” he whispers in my ear.
“Where did your smoking friend with the huge tits go?” Wes hollers, as he makes the drinks.
“Sorry, he’s a bit vulgar, Tess,” Finn offers.
Spinning around in his arms, I say, “Well then you’ve no idea how perfect he and my friend with big tits are for each other.”
Once again we find ourselves drowning in the pool of people, music and humidity. The words of a song about being hard to love swirl around in the air. Finn hasn’t once looked away from my face.
“I’m going to kiss you right here and right now,” he whispers to me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say stealing his words from earlier.
I watch, memorizing the look on his face and every single one of his features burn me as h
e lowers himself to me. One of my hands holds his face, preparing me for the feel of his skin on me again. It’s only been days, but feels like years since Finn has been on me.
Before his lips reach mine, we both hear, “Finn.”
Neither of us have to look to know it’s Kara making her way to us, and she does it with a grand gesture. If I thought I was sparkly tonight she puts me to shame easily. Booty shorts and a sequin top with gorgeous wedge sandals. The kind I used to love to wear. With huge hair and painted on makeup, she looks stellar. I instinctively back away from Finn hoping to make a quick and clean exit.
“Finn, c’mon the whole gang from high school is here. We want a group pic and need you of course.”
The harder I tug away from him the tighter Finn clutches my wrist. The pain is unbearable, almost causing me to scream. This is a clear sign that my heart is neither ready nor willing to be shattered again.
“Finn,” I hiss.
“I’m not letting go.”
“Stop, please. You’re hurting me.”
My words cause Kara to look down at our joined hands and the proximity of our bodies. And as if clear as day, a light bulb goes off in her tiny little brain, her fake persona and willingness to act as a friend instantly vanishes as she realizes what she just stepped into.
“Well, Tess, right? I barely recognized you all dressed up with your hair done and everything. Well, I guess if you can call wearing jeans in a bar that’s over a hundred degrees dressed up. Makeup, hairspray and a little glitter sure do a lot for you.”
“Kara, enough,” Finn roars.
I finally catch him just enough off guard to rip my hand from his and make my escape. He hollers my name a couple of times before the sounds of the bar drown out his voice. I mentally will myself not to cry, not to shed even one small fucking tear, but after all, the truth is hard to handle when spoken out loud. Kara might as well cut off my other leg with her words. She nailed every single one of my insecurities in front of Finn, and the bitch knows it.
Finally, I spot Scarlett sitting at a table with Wes on the opposite side of the bar. Peeking over my shoulder, I see Finn and Kara with the group all getting ready to pose for their picture and actually mentally send up a silent prayer of thanks.
“We were wondering how long it would take you two to notice us over here with the drinks,” Scarlett says.
“Where’s Finn?” Wes asks.
“Where he belongs,” I scream over the music.
Wes must be the owner of the bar. I remember Will telling me more in depth the other night all the different businesses the Evans’ own. There was one brother lower on Finn’s dads shit list and that must be Wes. I can see how owning a bar called the G Spot could land you there.
The table is lined with four shots and four more whiskey drinks. Without asking or showing any emotion, I down all four shots. The look on Scarlett and Wes’ face is priceless, and if I was in a better mood or place in my life, I might laugh.
“This one is mine, right?” I ask then pick up a crown and coke and chug it.
“Everything okay, Tess? Where’s Finn?” Scarlett asks.
“With Kara and his class, where he belongs.”
The alcohol begins working its magic, allowing me to loosen up and give no fucks. A loud thumpin’ western tune begins to blare through the speakers, reminding me just why I wanted to come here. In the booth behind me, I spot a very large and muscular blonde. We make eye contact, and I nod towards the dance floor. No words are exchanged as he grabs me by the waist dragging me out to the dance floor.
“Not a good idea,” I hear Wes say.
Clearly, his version of not a good idea is a perfect one to me. The stranger and I dance for a couple of songs. His hands roam all over my body as mine do the same. Even at one point, his lips are grazing the skin on my neck. His lips don’t produce the same sensation or feeling, but I’ve caught Finn watching several times, so I don’t give a fuck at this point.
“Thanks for the dances,” I say, as I finally peel away.
Wes and Scarlett are still at the table talking like two long lost friends. The look each of them hold in their eyes doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what they both want.
“Three more shots and I’ll pass out in the backseat of my truck and you two can fuck all you want, deal?”
Scarlett tries her best to look shocked by my words, but, deep down, I know she is mentally cheering and hoping the deal is sealed. Wes has a mean poker face.
“Fine, assholes. I’ll get my own shots and then we will leave.”
Making my way to the bar, the music dies down, and I can tell it’s about closing time and last call is about to go down. Voices are clearer as are the words being chattered around. Unfortunately, Kara and her clan of sluts are sitting at a table near the bar, but my desire for more alcohol is stronger than avoiding them.
“Two shots, please.”
“Of what,” the bartender asks.
“I don’t give a fuck,” I slur out.
“Got it.”
“She has a fake leg.” I hear a voice say at Kara’s table.
I wonder if they realize how loud they are talking. Are they trying to be that obvious? Or do they think I’m that dumb? I’ll admit. I try to believe the best in people all the time and give everyone a chance to do right in my eyes, but I’m pretty sure there is no one else in the bar with a prosthetic.
“How do you know?” I hear the next voice.
“Finn’s dad told my momma. He’s so worried that Finn’s going to throw his whole future away for her. I guess he hasn’t been the same since he met her. Fights his dad on everything now. There for a while, Dr. Evans really thought Finn wanted me back and that’s the only reason I came home.”
“But that’s so gross. I mean a fake leg. How can Finn even be attracted to her or that?”
“Can you imagine her in a bikini?”
The bartender finally arrives back with my final shots. “Wes said these are on the house. Have a good night.”
Effortlessly, I down one shot and let the burn of the straight whiskey glide down my throat. The sting of it is nothing compared to what I put out on the line tonight. Nothing. I slam the last one and continue to hear the girls cackling about me in a bikini.
“Enough,” a voice roars.
My head is swimming and swirling so intensely, I can’t manage to look at the person talking or even take another step. I don’t have to look to know it’s Finn.
“Talk about her one more time and I swear you’ll regret ever coming back home, Kara.”
I crumble down onto the barstool, knowing full well I can’t take a step on my own. Scarlett and Wes show up moments later.
“Ready, Tess?” Scarlett asks.
“Yeah,” I reply, as I try to get up.
And quickly realize, there is no way I can stand on my own two feet. Finn and Wes both grab each side of me. Without thinking, I push Finn away.
“Don’t touch me. I mean it. Never again. Never give my heart the hope that you may actually love someone like me.”
Looking past Finn, I stand a little taller on my own with Wes at arm’s reach.
I holler to the table of bitches, “Don’t worry, drunks who have peg legs can walk just fine. Oh, and Kara, Finn loved grabbing it while he fucked my brains out the other night.”
“That’s enough,” Scarlett whispers and takes my hand.
Finn lurches forward to help, but Wes instantly stops him.
“Enough,” Wes warns.
Even through my drunk haze, I see the unspoken brother code spoken and Finn walks away. Walks right back into the crowd he’s supposed to be with. I will not cry. I will not feel. I will go back to the Tess, who never has the chance of being hurt.
“Let’s go,” I say, turning to Wes and Scarlett.
I hear the two whispering behind me and know all too well they are discussing my well-being and I don’t even have enough energy or willpower to fight or argue with them. The last two s
hots are on fire in my belly and working their magic on my feelings. Numb.
“Who’s driving?” I ask, tossing the keys up in the air.
“I’ll drive you all home. I have a buddy who can come pick me up.”
“Thanks, Wes,” I hear before climbing into the backseat of the truck.
The whole ride home, I sit in a daze, half aware and the other half way too fucking gone to care at all. It takes everything inside me not to giggle at Scarlett’s normal conversation with Wes. I know the girl way too well and know beyond any doubt she’d rather have his dick in her mouth than talk about tomorrow’s weather. It’s easy to get lost in their conversation and the idea of a typical relationship.
“How long are you here for, Scarlett?”
“Just the summer with Tess. Neither of us are one hundred percent sure what we are going to do with our degrees or where we will go.”
“And your degree is in?”
“Accounting.”
“Tessa’s?”
“Nursing.”
“I can see that. She seems like a real genuine person from everything Finn has told me.”
“He talks about her?” Scarlett asks.
“Since the day he met her in our dad’s office. He says he can’t explain it, but there’s something about her.”
“Did he tell you about her leg?”
“I had no idea until tonight. I guarantee you Finn is going batshit crazy right now. As soon as I drop you girls off I’ll go find him.”
“Why?”
“Finn is the family member who has a heart of gold. He wouldn’t talk bad about his worst enemy. That’s why Kara is always leeching around him. Call it a good or a bad quality, but that’s him. There’s two things Finn has always wanted: Granddaddy’s farm and the love of a woman. Finn was only six when we lost our momma. Drives Dad nuts because he’s as genuine as her. Not cutthroat like the Evans’ side.”