Walk Me Down

by Bellus, HJ

  The truck comes to a halt and I can tell by the yard lights that we are outside Will and Tommie’s three-car garage.

  “Finn’s an ass,” I mumble and make my way out of the truck not stopping to listening to Wes or Scarlett argue with me.

  Making my way in the house, I notice Scarlett stays behind in the truck. I crack open the door to Tommie’s room. I don’t want to be alone right now.

  “Tommie,” I whisper.

  No reply. I grab a pair of her shorts from her top drawer, slide into them and sit on the edge of the bed removing the piece of metal that reminds me daily of the moment I lost my parents.

  “Tess,” finally a whisper comes from my sister.

  Will bolts straight up in bed. “Everything okay? What’s going on?”

  “I don’t want to be alone anymore,” I say through my tears.

  Both Tommie and Will are now sitting straight up facing me at the bottom of their bed.

  “Are you okay?” Will finally asks.

  I just nod in the darkness. The one stream of moonlight is enough light to show my signal of yes, and then I begin to crawl up to my sister just like I did when I was younger.

  “Come here, Tess,” she whispers.

  I snuggle deep down in between her and Will. The soothing motion of a hand on my hair really makes me lose my self-control and I cry. She undoes my braid and begins to comb my hair out with her fingers and braid it. It’s a nervous habit that Momma passed down.

  Finally, I admit out loud what everyone already knows, “I just want to love Finn and be young and carefree. I gave it a shot tonight and it all blew up in my face.”

  My words silence the room and begin to control my sobs.

  “We love you, Tess, and you will find love one day. Now go to sleep,” Will says.

  I giggle at the picture of me snuggled between my sister and her husband. Any other brother in law would have told me to kick rocks and get over my insecurities. Not Will. His love runs that deep for his wife.

  “But you do know this really affects our baby making skills with you between us, right?”

  We all start to laugh at the comment, and I squeal, “Ewww, TMI.”

  The laughter slowly dies out, and I concentrate on Tommie’s hands braiding and unbraiding my hair. In the dark room, I silently wish for a chance of a future with Finn with no drama and insecurities just love, freedom and opportunities to be free.

  Chapter 6

  You’re Going To Regret This…

  “Get up. We’re going to the river.”

  “C’mon, bouncy bouncy,” I hear and feel the bed shake.

  Pulling the blankets over my head, I hope the two animals in my dreams get the idea and leave. My head is pounding. My mouth is dry as hell, and I’m so freakin’ thirsty. I just want to keep my eyes closed and stay in the dark as long as I can. Damn, I’m thirsty though.

  “Tess, up now. Will wants to take the boat out. Let’s roll,” comes a voice, and I know it’s Tommie.

  The other voice continues, “Bouncy, bouncy” as Scarlett jumps up and down on the bed.

  Only if I could sit straight up and twat twap Scarlett. She’s a bit much to handle hungover.

  “Ten minutes,” I hear Will roar and then the very distinct sound of the garage door opening.

  Will never fools with times and leaving. His ETA’s are never to be taken lightly. He’s been known to leave Tommie and I then come back with a milkshake flaunting it to us.

  “Move it, Tess, I’m not missing this day on the river with our new boat,” Tommie yells, pulling me by my arm.

  Scarlett grabs the other, and they both pull me towards the bathroom.

  “Sit,” they both demand and push me down on the toilet seat.

  “Trash can. Trash can,” I desperately scream.

  Tommie barely puts the pale blue bucket in front of my face before last night’s whiskey rushes from my body.

  “Jesus, you’re a mess, sis.”

  “I know,” I whisper.

  Sitting on the toilet, I listen and allow the two to clean me up to a decent state.

  “Did you hear anything Scarlett just said?” Tommie asks.

  “Yes, I heard it all last night too. Too bad Finn’s so freaking nice with a heart of gold and can’t stand up to Kara. Enough said. Story over.”

  “Two minutes,” comes Will’s voice.

  The sound of his truck running outside in the driveway is an audio reminder, he’s not screwing around.

  “This will have to do,” Scarlett says.

  Rising up and still feeling intoxicated with a twinge of dizziness running through my system, I look at myself in the mirror and really puke at the sight of my reflection.

  The tiny glimmer of hope I allowed to pool up within me has now vanished. Pale complexion, messy bun, absolutely no makeup or hairspray to be found, just the broken down, hurt vessel that carries me around.

  Tommie pulls me by the arm, dragging me downstairs and points to a couple of coolers and signals to the pack them in the truck.

  “But I need my sunglasses and my phone,” I try to protest.

  “Move. I’m sure there’s an extra pair in the truck.”

  “For the love of all things holy. Did you pack a cow?” I complain and bitch, as I roll, drag and kick all the shit out into the garage.

  “Look alive, Tess,” Will seems to scream at me.

  Cringing, I grab my head and wince at the shooting pain. The glaring sun and reflection off of his black truck doesn’t help matters either. One, I want to die. Two, I’m never ever drinking again. Ever.

  Turning towards the house, I decide to sneak back to grab my glasses and my phone, hoping Will may leave me home for the day to recover.

  “Not so fast, Tessa,” Will says.

  Turning around to look at him, I see him dangling my sunglasses and waving my cell phone in the other. Rat bastard knows me all too well.

  “Get your ass in now.”

  I snatch my things from Will and call him a few choice words before getting in.

  “You have a text, Sunshine,” Will says.

  “Haha very funny, asswipe.”

  No sooner than I finish my words my phone beeps. A weird sensation courses through my veins because everyone who texts me is now seated in the truck. As in everyone, I mean, Scarlett, Will and Tommie. Looking down, my phone lights up three more times with more texts from the same number.

  Slapping the back of Will’s seat, I ask, “Is this a prank? If so, I’m not in the mood. My head is splitting. I’m dizzy and still taste the puke in my mouth.”

  All three of them shrug at the same time and truly look as perplexed as I do.

  “This can’t be good,” I mumble to myself.

  Sliding the lock screen to open, I take a deep breath and see what awaits me.

  555-3466: This is Finn. I need to talk to you.

  555-3466: Please text back. I don’t want Kara to ruin this.

  555-3466: I’ll make you talk to me. Random fact about me…I hate balloons. Who wants a piece of plastic filled with someone’s spit???

  “Well, who is it Tess?” Tommie asks from the front seat.

  I very calmly push the button to roll down the window and toss out my phone and Finn.

  “Holy shit,” Scarlett yells.

  “What?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders. “Everyone I need to talk to is in this truck and typically shoved so far up my ass that I don’t need a phone.”

  I shoot Scarlett a death glare, and my message is very well received from the look on her face. I know exactly where Finn got my number, and she’ll pay for it and for the new phone when I leave at the end of summer.

  “Sorry,” she whispers. “I just thought after learning more that…”

  “Don’t,” I blurt out.

  Will slows the truck down pulling into New Moon café. It’s only the best breakfast place on earth and with its perfect blend of grease and spice. I may be able to beat this hangover. Stepping out of the truck, I re
alize I’m still wearing Tommie’s shorts from last night and for the first time in years, I don’t give a fuck. I exposed myself days ago to Finn in the closet and had another layer ripped off me last night in the same bar. I’m sure the whole town knows by now that I have a fake leg, and something in me doesn’t even care anymore.

  “Booth or table?” Tommie asks, as we enter the front door.

  “Booth,” Scarlett and I both reply.

  Taking in the aroma of New Moon, I’m immediately slammed in the face with that voice and group of laughter once again. Kara, her group and upon closer inspection, Finn. He just can’t seem to stay away from her.

  Pretending as if I didn’t hear or am currently boiling with anger on the inside, I follow Will’s lead as he guides us to a booth. I instantly jump in the side with my back to the famous crowd of hypocrites. Kara doesn’t bother to quiet down when we sit, nor does her table all laughing hysterically at something. I know assuming is the worst thing to do in moments like these, but it’s the only thread I have left to grasp. And it’s safe to assume they are all laughing at me.

  “What can I get you all to drink?” A voice asks.

  “I’m ready to order,” I pipe up, hoping to hurry along this pain.

  “Alright, what can I get you?”

  “I’ll take a side of sausage links and an extra large order of hash browns.”

  A little trick I learned in high school, grease and ketchup the instant hangover cure. The rest of the table orders and I don’t catch one thing they say. They could have ordered grilled alien with a side of cactus and I just smiled and nodded. Will tries to make small talk about the size of his boat engine and who he’s going to drag around first on the tube. His words are just a jumble and Tommie’s face, nodding in agreement, is just a missing piece to the puzzle.

  “Okay, sausage and hash browns.”

  “Here,” I say, signaling with my hand.

  “And our famous cinnamon roll?”

  We all look at each other in question.

  “Nobody ordered that,” Will finally speaks up.

  “Oh, that’s right. Finn ordered it for a Tess.”

  Holding my hand out automatically, then mentally kicking myself realizing it was at the mention of the name Finn that made me hold my hand out. Grabbing the plate, I mentally note the paper on the bottom of the plate, trying not to give up my poker face.

  “Shit, I totally forgot about the cinnamon rolls,” Will vocally scolds himself.

  “We can share,” I playfully tease, trying to distract the table from my actions of burying the note in my lap.

  Finn. The fucker isn’t giving up. It takes everything inside of me not to open the paper and read it. Every five seconds, I have to remind myself not to look.

  “I need to use the restroom,” I finally surrender to the note sitting in my lap.

  “Are you sick?” Will asks around a mouthful of waffle. “You always say I’m heading to the shitter.”

  “Yeah, I’m sick of watching you molest that waffle,” I automatically retort not giving him a chance to respond before I dart from the booth.

  Once safe in the bathroom, I open the piece of paper.

  Tess,

  I’m not giving up on you. I ordered you a cinnamon roll. They are my favorite, and I want to share that with you.

  Finn

  Motherfucker! I mentally berate myself. Why did I even look? Self-torture, that has to be it. Once back at the table, I first notice the cinnamon roll untouched by my hash browns. Settled back in, I dig into it and nearly experience my first foodgasm. The taste is out of this world with the perfect mixture of cinnamon, brown sugar, warm bread and frosting. It’s the frosting that makes this cinnamon roll so mind blowing.

  “Giving up on the ketchup grease theory? Knew it was fake, I’ve never seen you drunk a day in college,” Scarlett preaches.

  “It’s next. This cinnamon roll is uh-mazing.”

  “They really are. Your sister gained ten pounds the first month we lived here.”

  “Will,” Tommie screeches.

  “You know I like those extra pounds,” he says, waggling his eyebrows up and down.

  Scarlett begins to gag and Will picks up on her cue.

  “Eat and let’s go spend a day on the river,” Tommie finally blurts out.

  “Is that a blush, I spy?” I harass Tommie.

  “Eat,” she retorts back.

  Tommie, always the famous prude, some things never really do change, and she is one of them. A few minutes later the loud clatter of the largest group of the restaurant leaves. I do everything in my power not to turn and face him because I’d bet all my money, he’s following Kara like a neutered puppy.

  The door slams shut with the slight breeze flowing outside, and everything inside me relaxes for the time being. The restaurant is suddenly eerily quiet with the popular group gone.

  “You can unclench your butt cheeks there, Tess. They’re all gone.”

  “Thanks, Will,” I say with a little giggle accompanying it.

  I swear sometimes that man knows me better than my own sister.

  “Ten minutes to finish up eating and then we are hitting the river.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Will. You are not going to put a time limit on us eating. You can just kiss my ass,” Tommie replies.

  “Oh, I’ll kiss your ass and then lick your…”

  “Stop. Oh my God. Stop, now,” she squeals. “I’ll be done in eight minutes so there!”

  “Good, I’m going to pay the bill and talk to a guy about a horse,” Will announces to the table, kissing Tommie on the top of the head and heading for the bathroom.

  “A horse?” Scarlett asks.

  “It’s code for the bathroom,” I say.

  Exactly five minutes later, Will makes his way from the counter and just like good, little girls all three of us are standing by the door waiting for him.

  “Good kids,” he commends.

  Tommie gives him a slap on the ass, as he walks by and we all walk to the parking lot. My eyes are focused down on the metal parts of my leg that are gleaming in the sun. It’s such an awkward sensation, but so liberating at the same time not to care anymore. The tiny voice that is constantly begging and encouraging me to be free is whispering, “You should be proud of that metal and everything you’ve become.”

  A deep voice drags me from my thoughts. Looking up, I see Finn and Wes leaning up against their truck, which is also hooked up to a boat.

  “Hey guys,” Will says, walking over and doing the man half shake half hug to both of them.

  Tommie is standing directly behind me barricading me from turning and running. Damn her because that’s exactly what I want to do. Run and lock myself in the back of the truck.

  “Scarlett invited me to go boating with y’all today,” Wes says.

  “Yeah, no prob,” Will replies.

  In slow motion, I watch Wes grab Scarlett’s hand and head for Will’s truck. I mentally note there is only room for two in the back seat due to all the shit Tommie packed.

  “Whoa, whoa,” I finally holler, realizing exactly what’s going on.

  “You can ride with Finn, Tess,” Tommie says, as the four motherfuckers basically jog and lock themselves in the truck.

  The sheer horror plastering my face must be seriously obvious.

  “Tess, I just want a day with you,” Finn finally says, stepping closer.

  “Why,” I whisper.

  “I’ve tried reaching out to you. I know you’ve read my texts and the note this morning. I’m not leaving you alone until you give me a chance.”

  “How do you know I read your texts? Is my whole family in on this conspiracy?”

  Finn laughs really hard before he has the chance to catch his breathe.

  “No, Tess. You have the read receipts turned on on your iPhone.”

  “Oh.”

  Awkward silence fills the parking lot, which is now empty besides the two of us, and his truck and boat.

/>   “Why not just walk away from me? It would be a lot less painful, I can assure you that.”

  Finn takes another step closer and this time we are merely inches apart.

  “I’m stubborn and know what I want. I want a chance with you. That’s all I’m asking. You’ve been on my mind since that first night together. I only taste you, smell you and feel every single part of you on me. I just want you.”

  Finn grabs both of my hips, whirls me around and pins me up against his truck.

  “But you never called or tried to get hold of me after that night. You just showed up with Kara.”

  Finn lowers his forehead to mine. “Listen, Tess.”

  “Uh. That’s Tessa to you, Finn.”

  “Listen, Tessa. I planned on finding you. I never put two and two together and my heart literally shattered when I walked into the vet clinic and spotted you. I knew how it looked and Kara. Fuck Kara! I’m not going to let her ruin this. I won’t.”

  “Ruin what? We have nothing, but one night together.”

  “Give me a week. Let me have you for a week, Tess, uh.”

  “Ass, you don’t have to be so dramatic about my name. Only my family gets to call me Tess.”

  “A week, please?”

  “What about Kara and that group. Hell, they made fun of me in public last night.”

  “I don’t care about them. I grew up with all of them in this small town. Yes, it’s true my dad and Kara’s dad have always pushed us together. It’s not going to happen. She came home all graduated from college and ready to be with me. I’ve told her no.”

  “I’m broken, Finn,” I whisper, hanging my head low.

  “I’ve seen all of you. Your leg doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.”

  “It’s more than the prosthetic. I’ve had my heart broken and life destroyed and I’m not quite sure I’m willing to put it all out there ever again for a repeat story.”

  “A week. I want a week to get to know Tess-uh and I want you to know me.”

  “First thing first, stop with the name shit. One week. That’s it. No Kara.”