It’s a steeplechase, over 4.5 miles, with thirty fences, including Becher’s Brook (famously dangerous). It was first run in 1836.
grasses. Police informants.
The Grauniad. The Guardian, the UK newspaper, often chided for its misprints. The
nickname comes from the satirical periodical Private Eye.
grebos. 1970s evolution of 1960s rockers—greasy hair, leather jackets, too poor to
own motorbikes and become bikers.
grub. UK slang—food.
guv. Governor (abbr), boss, chief
guv’nor. Governor, superior.
Guy Fawkes’ Night.November the 5th. A.k.a. Bonfire Night. So named for a
Catholic plotter who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament and is still burned in effigy (the guy) on bonfires. Associated with fireworks displays. In Lewes, Sussex, they symbolically burn the Pope.
gyppy tummy. Upset stomach.
Harold Steptoe. The long-suffering son, played by Harry H. Corbett, in the classic
BBC TV sitcom Steptoe and Son, which was Americanised as Sanford and Son.
Haslemere. Midsized town in Surrey.
Hawkshaw. Synonym for detective, originating in a character in the nineteenth-
century melodrama The Ticket-of-Leave Man.
Health & Efficiency. The official magazine of the British naturist movement.
Heath Robinson.William Heath Robinson (1872-1944), a British illustrator who
specialised in elaborate, ramshackle machines. The American Rube Goldberg is an exact equivalent.
Hendon. Hendon College. The leading UK police academy.
Henry Merrivale. Sir Henry Merrivale. See The Plague Court Murders by Carter
Dickson (John Dickson Carr), et. seq.
Herbert. Fellow.
Hire purchase. HP. Paying on the instalment plan—the pre-credit card version of
“live now, pay later.”
HM Government. Her Majesty’s Government.
Holloway. A women’s prison located in North London.
Home Counties, the.The counties that border London: definitively Surrey, Kent,
Middlesex, Essex; arguably, Berkshire, Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire. The stereotypical haunt of the upper-middle classes. Conservative candidates rarely lose their deposits in Home Counties elections.
Home Service, the.One of three BBC radio channels—the others being the Light
Programme and the Third Programme—from 1939 to 1970; it was replaced by Radio 4, which is still on the air.
hotpants. Short shorts.
I’m Backing Britain.A patriotic-but-trendy campaign (Buy British) of the late
1960s—it revived the use of the Union Jack in design, but didn’t exactly reverse the long-term decline of the UK manufacturing industry.
inflatable chairs. Late 60s/early 70s artefacts—very comfortable, but they were
prone to leaks that had to be patched like bicycle tires.
Interregnum, the. The period between the execution of Charles I (1649) and the
coronation of Charles II (1660).
I-Spy Book of Birds. The I-Spy books—initially published by the Daily Chronicle,
later by the Daily Mail and now by Michelin—are spotters’ guides for children on various subjects (churches, railways, etc), edited by bogus Native American Big Chief I-Spy (actually, Arnold Cawthrow). They made long car journeys more bearable.
ITMA.A wartime radio comedy programme. The acronym stands for “It’s That Man
Again.” “That Man” was Hitler.
J. G, Ballard.Major British novelist, a key influence in the so-called New Wave of
British SF in the 1960s and 70s, now better known for more or less mainstream work that is weirder than most genre stuff.
James Burke and Raymond Baxter.The hosts in the 1960s of BBC-TV’s long-
runningTomorrow’s World, a magazine programme covering the worlds of invention and technology. They were also anchors for UK TV coverage of the Moon landings.
Jodrell Bank. The Jodrell Bank Observatory, in Cheshire, known for its large radio
telescope.
John Galsworthy.(1867-1933). Author, of course, of The Forsyte Saga.
John Laurie. Veteran Scots character actor, known for dour, weatherbeaten
characters in The Edge of the World and The 39 Steps. Famous late in life as the gleefully miserable Private Fraser (“We’re all doomed”) on Dad’s Army.
John O’Groats. The northernmost spot on the British mainland.
Journey into Space. A series of BBC radio science fiction serials, broadcast on the
Light Programme, beginning with Operation Luna in 1953. The hero was well-spoken Captain Jet Morgan.
Juliet Bravo. A UK TV series about a policewoman; the title refers to the heroine’s
call-sign rather than her name, Jean Darblay.
Jungle Jillian. Heroine of the serial Perils of Jungle Jillian (1938), played by Olympic
swimmer Janey Wilde. See my story “The Big Fish.”
Jutland. Naval battle of 1916.
Katharine Reed. SeeAnno Dracula, The Bloody Red Baron, Dracula Cha Cha Cha,
“Seven Stars,” “Gypsies in the Wood.”
“keys in a bowl” parties.A 1970s thing. You had to be there. Or maybe best not.
Kia-Ora. Brand of alleged orange-derived juice, endemic to cinema refreshment
stalls in the UK.
kidnapped London Mayor.See “The Man on the Clapham Omnibus.”
King’s Road, the. A fashionable thoroughfare in Chelsea.
Kingstead Cemetery. Among the more famous dead people interred there is Lucy
Westenra, Count Dracula’s first British victim.
knockin’ shops. Brothels.
The Lady. Uppercrust magazine.
Lady Lucinda Tregellis-d’Aulney.See “Clubland Heroes.”
Larry Parnes. Promoter of Tommy Steele, Cliff Richard, Billy Fury, etc.
Lew Grade. British cinema and TV tycoon, scuppered his empire by making Raise
the Titanic.
Lichtenstein. Roy Lichtenstein (1923-1997), the pop artist.
Lion.A British weekly comic. Besides Archie, it ran the adventures of master
criminal The Spider.
looney bin. Insane asylum, bughouse, nut-hatch
lose their deposit.To stand in a parliamentary election, a candidate must post a
sum of money which is forfeit if they poll less than an eighth of the popular vote. From 1918 to 1985, the deposit was £150; now, it’s £500. Though fringe parties of the right, left and satirical (eg: The Monster Raving Loony Party) traditionally lose their deposits and aren’t fussed about it, any candidate of a major party who suffers this fate is greatly humiliated.
loud-hailer. Bullhorn, megaphone.
LSE. London School of Economics.
lumme. Ancient cockney expletive—derived from “God loves me.”
mac. Mackintosh, raincoat. Old jokes home. First man: “Got a light, mac?” Second
man: “No, but I’ve got a dark brown overcoat.”
Maltesers. UK confectionary—small spherical malt honeycombs coated with
chocolate.
The Man in the White Suit Film directed by Alexander Mackendrick, starring Alec
Guinness. An inventor develops a fabric that never wears out or gets dirty, and the clothing industry tries to keep it off the market.
Manchester Poly. Manchester Polytechnic.
mangle-worzel. White turnip. The vegetable, hence the accent, is associated with
the West Country (Somerset, Devon, Dorset, Cornwall).
Marks & Sparks.Nickname for Marks & Spencer, a chain of clothing and food
stores.
Matthew Hopkins. The witchfinder general of Cromwellian times.
Max Bygraves. Born 1922, popular crooner and comedian, top-liner of a string of
ITV programmes, including Singalongamax and the quiz show Family Fortunes. S
pecialised in sentimental novelty songs, like “You Need Hands” and “Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea.” Had UK hits with covers of “Mister Sandman,” “The Ballad of Davy Crockett” and that monologue “Deck of Cards.”
meter maid. A uniformed traffic warden.
MI5. The branch of the British Secret Service concerned with internal security (i.e.,
counter-intelligence, counter-terrorism).
Michelin Man. Cheery advertising mascot of the tire company, he consists of white
bloated tires.
Milton Keynes. A postwar new town,
mince pies. Rhyming slang: mince pies = eyes.
Miss Lark. See “Going to Series.”
mod. ‘60s youth cult, opposed to rockers, occasionally revived. The Who were
originally a mod band.
Mrs. Grundy. An unseen character in Thomas Morton’s Speed the Plow (1798), who
epitomises the prim, disapproving neighbour. “What will Mrs. Grundy say?” was a mocking catchphrase for decades, until Dame Grundy simply entered the language as a byword for priggishness.
mug. Slang—face
muggins. A sap, a patsy.
Mummerset. Another term for a nonspecific West Country accent, like that used by
Robert Newton as Long John Silver (or, more often, people impersonating Robert Newton as Long John Silver).
my patch.Territory, fiefdom.
nabbed. Arrested.
Naked as Nature Intended. A nudist camp film starring Pamela Green. Directed
by Harrison Marks.
National Front, the. A far right (oh, all right, fascist) British political party; in the
1970s, openly racist and noisy with it. Currently, the BNP (British National Party).
National Health, the. The UK’s tax-funded general health insurance system.
National Service.Mandatory spell of military service, introduced in the UK in 1939
and extended by a parliamentary act of 1949 (which did not apply in Northern Ireland) until 1960. Young men over the age of eighteen were required to spend two years in the armed forces—or the forestry commission if they made an especial fuss about not wanting to shoot people—and remain on the reserves list for a further five years. Never as fiercely resisted, for obvious reasons, as the American draft of the Vietnam War, National Service produced a trickle of grumbling books (Leslie Thomas’ The Virgin Soldiers) and plays (Arnold Wesker’s Chips with Everything) about the inequities of the system.
navvy. A navigator, one of the workmen who lay and maintain railway tracks.
new bug. novice
New Scientist UK weekly magazine, scientific sister publication to the left-leaning
political journal New Statesman.
New Scotland Yard.The original Scotland Yard, so called because before the Union
of the crowns of Scotland and England it was a London residence for the Kings of Scotland, was headquarters of the Metropolitan Police from 1820 until 1890, when they moved to New Scotland Yard on the Victoria Embankment. From 1967, the Met has been headquartered in a new New Scotland Yard, which is the place with the revolving sign out front.
News of the Screws. Popular nickname for the News of the World.
The News of the World. Sunday tabloid, traditionally packed with crime and
scandal stories. In common with other British newspapers now owned by Rupert Murdoch, it has recently become associated with the brand of celebrity muckraking pioneered by US magazines like Confidential—or, in James Ellroy’s world,Hush-Hush—in the early ‘50s.
nicked. Stolen.
Norton. British make of motorbike,
nosh. Food.
Number Ten. No. 10 Downing Street, the office of the Prime Minister,
nutter. Violent lunatic,
oiks. Low-class brutes.
Old Bailey, the.London’s Central Criminal Court.
old pennies. As opposed to new pence. Twelve old pence (12d) made a shilling (Is),
equivalent to five new pence (5p). In 1970, Britain adopted decimal coinage, but old money lingered in parallel for a few years before fading away completely.
Old Vic, the. A London theatre.
on the game. The practice of prostitution.
one of Winthrop’s predecessors.Mycroft Holmes.
over-egging the pud.Overdoing something.
Pakkis. Pakistanis, though people who use the derogatory term tend not to make
fine distinctions among immigrants from the Indian subcontinent and use it to cover Indians and Bangladeshis also.
Pan’s People. Troupe of female dancers, regulars on BBC-TV’s Top of the Pops.
panda cars. Police patrol vehicles.
panto. Pantomime—a Christmas theatrical tradition, not mime,
papa loa. Voodoo priest.
passed the conch to Catriona.Let Catriona speak. The expression comes from
Willian Golding’s Lord of the Flies.
Patricia Cornwell. The US crime writer believes that the Victorian painter Walter
Sickert was Jack the Ripper, and has been known to buy and dissect his works in pursuit of evidence.
Patrick Mower. UK actor, a familiar face in film (The Devil Rides Out, Cry of the
Banshee) and on TV (Callan, Target).
Penny for the Guy. The cry of children soliciting coins for showing off their stuffed
effigies of Guy Fawkes in the buildup to Guy Fawkes Night.
Peter Noone. Lead singer of the band Herman’s Hermits.
Peter Wyngarde. A 1970s icon in the shows Department S and Jason King, playing
a dandyish fashion-plate mystery novelist turned detective. He’s also in The Innocents as a ghost, Night of the Eagle, the “Touch of Brimstone” episode ofThe Avengers and the remake of Flash Gordon.
Pink Floyd, the.Well-spoken people, like Richard Jeperson and Michael Moorcock,
always use the definite article.
Pinta. Pint of milk. A 1960s slogan ran “Drinka pinta milka day.”
Pirelli calendar. Posh girlie calendar, sponsored by the tire company.
plastered. Intoxicated, drunk.
plates. Rhyming slang: plates of meat = feet.
plods. Policemen. The expression comes from PC Plod, a character in Enid Blyton’s
children’s books.
policeman on the comedy record, the.“The Laughing Policeman” by Charles
Penrose.
ponces. Men who live off the immoral earnings of women; pimps.
Porton Down. The Defence Science and Technology Laboratory, where the United
Kingdom carries out its (defensive) biological and chemical weapons research.
Post Office Tower. A London landmark, now the Telecom Tower. It briefly featured
a revolving restaurant at the summit, but that was closed after a terrorist bombing perpetrated by the Angry Brigade.
pouffe.Effeminate or sexually ambiguous fellow, which in 197- meant almost
everyone with longish hair and a wardrobe. Closer to the Regency term “dandy” than the homonym “poof,” which is a demeaning term— Australian in origin—for gay man.
PR. Public relations.
prefab. Prefabricated.
primary school. Grade school.
Prince Prospero. The character played by Vincent Price in Roger Corman’s film of
Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death.”
proverbial dog that didn’t bark in the night, the. C.f. “Silver Blaze,” by Sir Arthur
Conan Doyle.
put the boot in. A distinctively skinhead form of aggro that involves knocking a
victim down and then kicking him with bower boots.
quango. Quasi-nongovernmental organisation—a publically financed body, but
(theoretically) independent of the government of the day.
quota quickies. Inexpensive British B-feature films, often with a faded American
star, made to take advantage of a law th
at insisted a certain quota of films shown in British cinemas be British-made.
RADA. Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.
rag trade. Garment industry.
rag week. Period when students pull hilarious pranks and dress up in silly
costumes to raise money for charity. It’s stupid and irritating but, unlike equivalent American college traditions, doesn’t involve torturing other students and at least notionally benefits good causes.
Reginald Bosanquet. ITV newsreader.
reptiles. Derogatory slang—yellow-press reporters or paparazzi. The term is often
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