“Holy fuck, brother, you fucked her in the dance room?” Darth asked.
“I don’t think Charlotte is drinking shandies, brother,” pointed out Creed.
I didn’t know what was worse. The fact my dick was so hard I could ram nails with it while sitting here with a bunch of blokes, or that my woman was obviously very, very drunk and was supposed to be in charge of our daughter.
“I think we need to get back to the compound,” Booth announced as he abruptly stood up from the table. His feelings for Stella were more than he let on. Only fuck if I knew why he didn’t go for it. Stella was beautiful and genuine. He would be better off with her than the soul girls he fucked.
All of us got up and took off to our bikes. The bar and grill had an outside drinking and dining area, and during the warmer months, we sat out there. Giving the waitresses a chin lift, we left. No need to pay a tab since we owned the fucking joint.
The ride back was non-eventful thank fuck. Being on alert all the time was a pain in the arse. The sooner we found this prick rogue soldier, the better. I wanted my family safe, but that cunt had them in his sights, and that was a big fucking problem. No one hurt what was mine.
————
All thoughts were firmly elsewhere when we walked into the main room of the compound.
“Fuck, I thought the sex party was a disaster. This doesn’t even have a category,” Mannix exclaimed, taking in the madness.
“What in the ever-loving fucking fuck. Sweetness!” I shouted as loud as I could over the orchestra music playing from the speakers.
“Oh, thank fuck. Can I go now?” Dundee begged, not even bothering to wait for any orders. He just got up from his post at the bar, covered his eyes, and ran past the women.
The commotion finally got Charlie’s attention. When she saw me, her face lit up with my smile, if a little wonky from the amount of alcohol she had obviously consumed.
Of course, the other thing giving away that they were drunk was the fact the three women were dancing around in only their bra and panties—if you could call the scraps of lace on my woman’s body a bra and panties. Her bra was what I had heard her call a demi-cup. Whatever. All I knew was her breasts were spilling deliciously over the top. Her barely-there knickers matched in colour and style. The cheeks of her perfectly heart-shaped arse peeked out from below the lacy material. Fuck, I was so hard.
Though I was trying not to look at the other women, I couldn’t help but notice they were in similar styles of sexy underthings. I also noticed Booth’s eyes glued to Stella’s tits.
“Fuck, Stella, you got some fucking perky tits, honey.” Mannix let out a low, slow wolf whistle. “And fuck me, Mia, I had no idea you had that hiding under those cute T-shirts you wear. And, Teach—”
“Don’t you fucking say one word,” I interrupted Mannix, barely holding on.
Booth wasn’t doing too much better than I was. His fists were balled so tight by his sides, they were turning white. I could see his jaw clenched tightly shut.
The music shut off thanks to Creed. His usual scowl was lifting very slightly at the corners. It couldn’t be called a smile by any means, but I could see he was amused, and I would have been, too, if these fuckers weren’t there looking at what was only for my eyes.
“Charlie, where are your clothes? Fucking hell, Mannix, will you fucking stop staring at her tits?” I screamed at the room in general. I would fuck him up.
“Honey, hi. My clothes are with my ears and my brain and Stella’s legs,” Charlie said in an oh-so-serious voice.
“Stella, is this what I pay you for?” Booth asked quietly. His tone had a nasty edge to it. Arsehole.
Stella gasped at his comment as her eyes instantly teared up.
“Go to hell, Booth,” she whispered to him in a hurt voice. Grabbing her clothes, she mumbled an apology to Charlie and Mia, then turned and ran from the room.
“Fuck! Stella, I’m sorry. Come back,” Booth boomed after her, but Stella had gone out the door.
“Good one, Pres. Wanna go find Shiloh and tell her Santa isn’t real while you’re at it?” Darth spat at our president, shaking his head in disgust. He gave Charlie one last incredulous look, then headed off after Stella, I presumed.
“Fuck you,” Booth muttered, striding towards his room.
“We have to hide the booze when these chicks are on their own,” Creed said as he gathered up Mia’s clothes. How he could tell the difference between hers and Charlie’s, I had no idea.
“Come on, Mia baby, I will take you home.”
“Home. I have no one at my home, just me. Steel is fucking my sister, and she is a slut. She isn’t good enough for him. I could love him better than her. Really, Creed, I could.”
Oh, God, those women have verbal diarrhoea when drunk.
Holding her hoodie out for Mia to put her arms through, Creed nodded his head in understanding. “I’m sure you can, baby. Now come on. Let’s get going,” he said, soothing her gently.
Allowing him to dress her, Mia looked up at Creed with soft eyes. “Will you sleep with me, Creed? Maybe if I’m not a virgin anymore, Steel might like me more.”
“Fucking Steel,” Creed muttered quietly. His narrowed glare told me exactly what he would like to do with our VP the next time he saw him.
“Anytime, beautiful, but in the morning, this will all be a painful memory.”
Bending at the waist, Creed pushed his shoulder into Mia’s belly and hoisted her up in a firefighter’s carry. “I’ll take her home and stay the night to make sure she doesn’t choke on her own puke. Fuck me, Deck, remember when we used to dodge bullets and kill shit?”
I grinned at my road captain and laughed at him. “Yeah, I remember, brother, but my dick was never this happy—or my heart.”
Creed grunted as Mia, in a state of oblivion, tapped a tune out on his jean-clad arse. “Serve the fucker right if I did pop her cherry,” he mumbled.
But I knew he wouldn’t. Creed never slept with any of the girls here, and Mia was like a little sister to him.
I was sure he got relief from someone out there when he was on the road, but here at the compound, he kept everything strictly on a friend basis. A bit of cuddling and handholding was all I had ever seen from him.
“Well, brother, as entertaining as your woman is drunk as fuck, I am going to go find Rainn or Ingrid—or fucking both—and get my rocks off. The image of these three chicks is forever burned in my mind.” Mannix gave me a shoulder punch, then leaned down and gave Charlie a kiss on her temple. “Thanks for the visual, Teach. I will never look at you in those tight skirts and pretty blouses the same ever again.”
“Fucking hell, Mannix,” I said in a low, harsh voice. He knew how to mess with me, and he was only messing with me. If anyone in the club knew what it felt like to be cheated on, it was Mannix. In fact, cheating was not a strong enough word for what the bitch did to him.
I turned my attention back to Charlie, who was sitting on a kitchen chair with her body partially covered with a feathered something or other that was nowhere near her size.
“Deck, have you seen my brain?”
Fuck me. Here we go.
“No, Charlie, I haven’t, and neither have you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be drunk while you are supposed to be looking after Shiloh.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I didn’t mean them, not really, not the way they sounded, anyway.
Shiloh had always been protected from any kind of really bad behaviour. I mean, obviously the cursing couldn’t be hidden from her, and yeah, she swore a bit herself. She was a parrot. But any sex, fighting, or heavy drinking was not done in front of her. So seeing Charlie, Mia, and Stella obliterated shocked the shit out of me. And if I were honest, I was a little disappointed in her. So, instead of closing my mouth, dropping to my knees, and begging for her to forget I said that shit, I continued with my tirade.
“Excuse me?” Charlie gasped, shock on her beautiful face.
“You heard
me. My daughter was in your care, and you’re drunk. Where is Shiloh?” Shut up, Deck, you stupid motherfucker.
Charlie jumped out of the chair she was sitting in. All evidence of her happy mood was completely gone from her face. Now all I saw was hurt. Pure hurt that I caused with my nasty words. Shit, I needed to stop this shit before I went too far if I hadn’t already.
I watched as Charlie hastily grabbed her clothes and pulled the shirt on over her pretty peach and cream bra. She found her skirt, a little tight pull-on number. Her movements were unsteady, the alcohol rendering her quite uncoordinated. I watched her as she shimmied into the skirt, and I had to say, it turned me on. My dick was twitching behind my zipper despite the arctic green eyes glaring at me. And the scowl on her face was definitely not my smile. My heart sank in my chest. I had fucked up.
Oh, fuck, I think I may be in a bit of strife.
38
CHARLOTTE
Why wouldn’t this skirt go on just as easily as it had come off? I needed to find Vegas and see if I could sleep in her room with her tonight.
“Sweetness, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Didn’t mean to insult me and accuse me of not looking after Shiloh properly? Is that what you are sorry for, Deck?” I wasn’t going to cry in front of Deck and show him how much his words made my heart ache.
“Yeah, I am. It was wrong, but I left her here with you. I thought she would be safe with you.”
I gave the skirt one last yank and finally got it partially on my body. Well, as good as I could after downing several alcoholic fruity masterpieces made by Stella. Hmmm, they were so yummy. But Deck’s last words penetrated my foggy brain, annoying me. After what had gone down at the park with the rogue soldier, he was questioning Shiloh’s safety? No way.
“You don’t think she is safe with me?” I asked him quietly, but I didn’t want an answer. “Tell me, Deck, was it me who put her back to a man with a high-powered rifle holding Shiloh so she wasn’t in the firing line? Do you want to know where she is? Or are just going to presume?”
My voice cracked as I was starting to lose control of my emotions. I needed to get out of there, away from him for a time. At that point, I didn’t know if I was overreacting due to the drinks or not. But if I continued to argue with Deck on this right then, one of us was going to say the wrong thing.
So I was taking the high road. Not bothering with shoes or anything else, I left the costumes where they were. I knew they would be safe. No one would mess with them.
I turned around and gave Deck my back as I took off to the bedrooms, hoping against hope I only interrupted Vegas and Darth sleeping.
“Sweetness, where are you going?” Deck’s voice was laced with concern.
“What do you care? Huh? Shiloh is with Jason. I called him and asked if he would come grab her so she wasn’t around the drinking.”
“Charlie! Fucking hell, stop,” he yelled. “Of course, I fucking care. How could you ask me that?” His voice was full of pain.
But my heart was full of pain, too. He had to stop making me feel like crap when it came to Shiloh. This whole day had been about her, her recital, her costumes.
Slowly, I turned around and faced the man I loved more than my next breath. “How could you ask me if Shiloh is safe with me? I love that little girl. I couldn’t love her more if she came from my body. Never have I done anything to justify this hurt from you.” I couldn’t help it—the tears fell.
Deck flinched as my words and tears made him realise he was wrong.
“Sweetness, baby, please, just listen to me.”
“No, not tonight. I have had too much to drink, and I don’t feel like talking to you right now.” I didn’t say it aloud, but my posture was definitely saying back off. “I am going to sleep in with Vegas tonight,” I told him quietly.
“Charlie, no, don’t. Please, don’t make me sleep without you. Baby, I need you under me, close. I can’t sleep otherwise,” he implored, but he couldn’t fix this with his words, not at that moment.
I shook my head and looked him straight in the eyes. His sapphire blues were a bit duller than usual. “You hurt me, Deck. You don’t get to do that and have me in your bed.”
Suddenly, he was stalking towards me, then he grabbed hold of my arms, but it wasn’t a hard or bruising grip.
“Our bed. It’s our bed, Charlie.” He growled at me, and then his lips were on me. It was a bruising kiss, and I could taste his fear, his sorrow for what he’d said.
I sank into him for a brief second, his pull to me just far too strong. The man was my soul mate, but I wouldn’t let him kiss the daylights out of me and make it easy on him. I fisted my hands in his shirt and made myself lift from his lips. My eyes bored right into his.
“But not our daughter, right?”
I saw the second my words hit their mark. Deck’s hands dropped from my arms, and he staggered back. “Charlie,” he whispered, anguish colouring his tone.
But I had nothing more to say. Not tonight. I turned around and walked away, leaving my heart in the same shape we’d left the room. A messy mess.
39
DECK
“Charlie!” I shouted to her retreating back, but she didn’t stop. Her shoulders hunched, she looked defeated. Fuck.
How could one man fuck up so much? I didn’t mean any of those things I’d said about Shiloh. Of course, I thought she could keep the squirt safe. I looked around the area I was standing in and saw all the sparkly shit and feathers. I knew she had been working hard on the costumes for Shiloh’s recital, but instead of thanking her for that, I fucking accused her of not caring about my daughter.
My daughter. No, no that didn’t sound right anymore. I did think of Charlie as a mother to our daughter. I thought that way all the time now. Why I hadn’t told her that before then was a mystery to me.
So why was I such a fucking dickhead?
“Fuck if I know, brother. But you fucking got me kicked out of Julie’s bed.” Darth growled, startlingly me.
Wait, I said that aloud?
“How is Charlie?” I asked him anxiously.
Darth just shrugged his shoulders and took a seat on the chair Charlie had been on earlier when she was happy and smiling my smile.
“Fuck, I don’t know. She knocked on the door and called out that she was coming in just as I was about to sink into the hottest pussy on earth. I rushed back from dropping Stella off for that feeling, arsehole.” Darth grumbled.
“Was she crying?” I didn’t want to know, but I had to.
“Fucking gushing, brother. What the fuck did you say to Teach to make her like that? I swear to God, Deck, you need a fucking how-to manual about women sometimes.” Darth laughed at me.
“Don’t we all?”
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Booth coming in with three beers in his hands. He passed them out, and I gladly accepted, twisted the lid off, and took a long pull even though I didn’t really want it. I wanted to get Charlie and take her to our room, undress her, and tuck her under my body. Skin to skin. Heat to heat. The only way I could sleep now.
“Stella get off okay?” Booth asked, looking at Darth questionably.
“Yeah, she went to her girlfriend’s place. Dropped her off at the front and watched her go in.”
“She didn’t go home?”
“Nope. Said she was too drunk to keep her wits about her or something like that. Sort of a strange thing to say, don’t ya think, brother?”
Booth stared at Darth, but he looked like he saw right through him. If I were in the right frame of mind, I would ask more questions about Stella’s strange comment. But I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I was fucking devastated and pissed the fuck off at myself and my fucking stupid mouth.
“Where’s Creed?”
I took another gulp of beer. “Took Mia home. He’s gonna stay with her tonight. She was pretty upset about Steel taking off to be with Callie. Poor thing. She was crying she had no one to go home to, and then asked C
reed if he would take her virginity. She thinks if she is more experienced, Steel will take more notice of her.”
“Jesus,” Darth said, breathing out.
“These chicks are making us soft.” Booth grunted. His beer was sitting untouched on the coffee table in front of him. I could tell he was thinking about his treatment of Stella. Our president needed to figure his shit out concerning his feelings for Stella.
“Speak for yourself, Booth,” I quipped.
Raising his eyebrows at me, he laughed.
“You’re sitting out here after a yelling match with Teach, who is now sleeping in his”—Booth indicates Darth with his chin—“woman’s bed, whom he won’t claim, by the way, but was about lose himself in. Steel is making a fool of himself with a chick who is using him while her sister pines after him, and he knows it. Mannix is banging anyone he can and doesn’t see that Rainn is in love with him. And Creed? Well, I don’t know what the fuck is going through that man’s head, but I know if he does tap Mia tonight and Steel finds out…” He stopped and took a breath. He didn’t need to go on. We all knew how fucking violent Steel could get. Steel might not get that he was Mia’s, and she was his yet, but when he did, I was going to enjoy watching the sniper fall.
We sat there in silence for a minute, digesting what Booth had just said. In many ways, he was right. Those women were changing us, but Booth was kidding himself if he thought it was a bad thing. And I was going to tell him why.
“Do you know how long it has been since I had a nightmare?” My voice was low and quiet. “The day I met Charlie, all the nightmares stopped, as did the hot flushes at night, and the waking up screaming.”
I knew they knew I didn’t do that anymore. It was not something any of us discussed. We didn’t gather at the breakfast table every morning and talk about any one of our latest nightmares. We knew we all had nightmares because we heard them. Every night. Then the pacing began. Mannix’s way was to get up and play a game of pool with himself. The soft clicking of the billiard balls was something we were used to now.
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