Connie shook her head in commiseration. “That might be part of it, but what it really sounds like to me is something else entirely.”
Alarmed, Blaire straightened and stared at her cousin. “Is it bad? Can it harm the baby?”
“It’s only bad,” Connie said, “if it’s not reciprocated.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about love, dummy. You’re in love with the guy.”
“No.” Blaire jumped up from the sofa and started pacing the length of the living room. “Oh, no. Absolutely not. It’s impossible.”
“Why? You must have felt something for him at one time.” Connie got up and paced beside Blaire, bending over and peering up into Blaire’s face. “I know you, cuz. If you hadn’t cared a great deal about him, you never would have slept with him.”
“That’s beside the point. That’s lust, not love.”
“Um-hmm. Sure. Lust, that’s fine. It’s important. But it’s not enough to get you to strip down and do the deed with a guy you’ve been out with only a few times. You know I’m right.”
Blaire stopped pacing and made a face. “So what if you are right? So what if I felt something a couple of months ago? That doesn’t mean I’m in love with the man. Feeling something and being in love are a mile apart.”
“If you say so.”
“Now you’re humoring me.”
“Hey. You asked my opinion, I gave it. If you want my advice, I say grab on to him with both hands and don’t let go. He’s a Chisholm, for crying out loud. From the Cherokee Rose. You can’t do better than that. Those Chisholms have got honesty and integrity coming out their pores. I bet before another week goes by he asks you to marry him.”
Blaire heaved a sigh. “He already did.”
“What?”
Another sigh, this one of disgust. “You heard me. He asked me last night when he took me out to dinner. All the way to Norman, no less. He said he would call me today for my answer.”
“Ah, now I see.” Connie crossed her arms and tapped the fingers of one hand against the elbow of the opposite arm. “He was going to call you for an answer, so, logically, you got in your car and took off without giving him that answer. Good heavens, no wonder he drove all the way up here after you. The man wants to marry you!”
Blaire sat heavily on the sofa again and, with a groan, buried her face in her hands. “Only because he happened to accidentally get me pregnant. You know that doesn’t work.”
“Maybe it would. It could. He already likes you. Why wouldn’t he fall in love with you? And what if he didn’t? You could still—”
“Two words,” Blaire said darkly. “My parents.”
Connie stopped, nodded. “Okay. Fair enough. So what are you going to do? And you know, don’t you, that just because your parents—”
“I know, I know, I’m not my parents. But I’d be a fool, wouldn’t I, to ignore their lessons?”
A cry and a crash came from the kitchen.
“Oh, God. Billy. I left him alone in the kitchen.”
“He’s a grown man,” Blaire protested. “Whatever it is, he can handle it.”
“The last time he handled it, the fire department had to come put it out.”
Blaire choked back a bark of laughter and followed her cousin into the kitchen to see what disaster Billy had created this time.
“Dammit, Billy!”
“’Ammit, Beeowy!” mimicked their toddler.
“Here.” Connie plucked her son from his father’s arms and handed him to Blaire. “Get him out of the line of fire. Or, in this case,” she said with disgust, kicking at a clump of suds oozing out of the dishwasher, “the line of suds. It’s going to get bloody in here. He’s too young to witness what I’m about to do to his father.”
With her lips mashed together to keep from laughing at the look of panic on Billy’s face, Blaire hustled the youngster out of the kitchen.
Billy, it seemed, had used dish washing soap instead of dishwasher detergent in the dishwasher. An honest mistake—for an idiot—but for the fact that it wasn’t the first time for Billy. He’d been positive that the last time had been a fluke, that Connie had just given him a hard time because she had to clean up his mess. After all, what did he know about mops?
He’d actually thought he could get away with it this time.
“And you think I need a husband?” Blaire cried in mock horror.
Connie laughed. “Oh, but he has his uses.”
At ten o’clock Blaire hugged her cousin good- night and went to bed.
When the family arose the next morning, she was gone.
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Chapter Six
“Gone?” Count to ten, man. Be calm. Don’t lose your temper, Justin told himself. “What do you mean, she’s gone?”
“Come in, come in.” Connie took him by the arm and led him into her house. “Have a seat. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“No, thanks.” She was gone. She had run out on him again. A smart man might start to get a certain message here. He blinked and looked around, not remembering how or why he was inside Blaire’s cousin’s house, seated on her gray and white sofa with a fuzzy kitten staring at him from the arm of the sofa and a stuffed purple dinosaur between his feet.
“Okay.” Connie let out a hefty sigh. “I’m going to butt in where I don’t belong.”
Justin eyed her. “You are?”
“She’s scared.”
“Blaire? I think I got that.”
“Two points for you, then. What are you going to do about it?”
He shook his head. “There’s not much I can do but back off for now and try later to get close to her again.”
Connie nodded and rocked back and forth in thought. “That might work. Eventually. Maybe by the kid’s tenth birthday.”
Justin stiffened.
“Yes, I know all about it. We’re cousins, Blaire and me. Close cousins. There are four of us. We’ve been best friends since our mamas plunked us all in the same wading pool together before we were old enough to talk.”
“Does that mean you have a suggestion?”
She thought for a moment, then gave a sharp nod. “Yes. My name’s Connie, by the way. You need to go after her.”
“If she’s afraid of me, I’m going to come off looking like a stalker.”
“It’s not you she’s afraid of. It’s your feelings for her. It’s her own feelings, her own judgment. She doesn’t trust them. She’s afraid of making a mistake that will hurt her and be bad for the baby.”
Justin cocked his head and studied the woman before him. “I’ve never had the impression that Blaire was afraid of much of anything.”
“Believe me, this is a biggie for her. She’s normally the most self-confident woman I know. But marriage and babies, that’s like her greatest fear.”
“She’s afraid of childbirth?” he asked sharply.
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. She’s afraid she won’t do a good enough job and the baby will grow up unhappy or something.”
“And why does she think that?” he asked.
Connie shook her head. “That’s for her to tell you. I’ve said too much already. But I think you need to go after her, show her you’re serious about getting married. You are serious, aren’t you?”
“As a heart attack.”
Connie grinned. “You’re in love with her.”
Justin jerked as if she’d slapped him. “Of course not. We barely know each other.”
“Oh, yeah.” Connie laughed. “Two peas in a pod. I expect an invitation to the wedding.”
Within a few minutes Justin was on his way to Cousin Sherry’s house in Ponca City, just over an hour away.
The sky was overcast and the temperature was dropping. He hoped that little old car of Blaire’s was in good condition.
It was late morning when he pulled up at the apartment complex Connie had directed him to. Two minutes later he was knocking on the doo
r to number 317.
A woman about Blaire’s age, attractive with red hair and freckles, answered the door.
“Oh. Hello,” she said. The look on her face said she had a good idea who he was.
“Hi. I’m Justin—”
“Chisholm.”
“Right. Is Blaire here? I saw her car in the parking lot.”
Cousin Sherry, if that’s who this was, grinned at him. “Oops. There goes that excuse.”
“Would you tell her that all I want is about a half hour of her time? I could take her for a late breakfast or early lunch, or just a cup of coffee. Someplace where the two of us can sit down and talk.”
With a smile, the woman shook her head. “I’ll tell her, but I doubt she’ll go for it.”
“Just tell her to quit cowering in the corner and come out and face me,” he said with disgust. “She’s acting like I’m the friendly local ax murderer. I’m just the guy who wants to marry her.”
Sherry’s mouth opened, then formed a round O. She blinked a couple of times. “Wow. I’ll, uh, I’ll just go, uh, get her.”
“You can’t just keep putting him off and running away,” Sherry hissed at Blaire. “That man wants to marry you. You’re having his baby. Forget your parents, dammit. Quit being so stubborn and go for it. You can always divorce him later. And think of the alimony.”
“Sherry!” Blaire was appalled by the suggestion that she would want to live off alimony from Justin.
She refused to think about the first part of that, that the marriage could be temporary. At least, she tried to refuse it, but it somehow kept sneaking back into her thoughts.
Did she dare? Could they? Would he hate her?
She wasn’t going to worry about him. She had to look out for herself and the baby. The baby first.
But Sherry was right. Blaire knew she couldn’t keep running from Justin, couldn’t keep avoiding the question that hung over her head like a two-ton green elephant.
She grabbed her coat and purse and marched out of the bedroom and into the living room.
He looked good, she thought, her mind shooting off course and onto a side rail. He didn’t look terribly happy, but he looked good.
“I thought you went home last night,” she said.
“I thought you stayed at Connie’s today.”
Blaire took a slow, deep breath and allowed him the point. “Let’s go get a cup of coffee or something.”
Justin let out the breath he’d been holding. She was going to talk to him. She was probably going to say no, but at least she was talking.
They took his rig and drove to a nearby coffee shop. Having skipped breakfast, Justin was starving. He ordered bacon, eggs, hash browns and a short stack of pancakes smothered in butter and syrup.
It was a lot of food for someone as trim and lean as Justin, but Blaire didn’t question it. She knew he worked hard on his ranch. Working men needed fuel.
She ordered decaf and a Danish.
“I’m not going to marry you,” she said baldly.
Justin felt a wave of disappointment wash through him. “I guess I knew that was coming.”
“I’d like to tell you why.”
“I’d like to hear it.”
Blaire paused a moment to get her thoughts in order. Her cousins knew the story almost as well as she did. Some of them had even lived it in their own homes. But Blaire had never tried to explain it to anyone before. She supposed the best way to start was simply to start.
“My parents had to get married.”
“Because she was pregnant with you?”
“That’s right. They knew each other better than you and I do, but like us, they’d never talked about getting married. Never really considered it. Then, suddenly, there they were, expectant parents. It’s been a disaster ever since.”
“What disaster?” Justin said. “They’re still married, aren’t they?”
“And the good Lord is the only one who knows why,” she said with feeling. “There’s not a week that has gone by during my entire life that one or the other or both of them hasn’t thrown it up into the other’s face. If you hadn’t got pregnant…if you hadn’t knocked me up…every problem that comes up, health, financial, business, you name it, it’s because one of them caused them to have to get married. Now and then they get tired of blaming each other and they turn around and, oh, look, she’s the one. It’s her fault. If it hadn’t been for her we wouldn’t have had to get married and we wouldn’t be having these problems.”
Justin stared, sickened by what she was saying. “They blame you for their own troubles?”
“Constantly. When they’re not blaming each other.”
“That’s awful.”
“You’re damn right it is,” she said hotly. Then she paused and sipped her coffee to give herself time to calm down. “I’ve seen the same thing happen with two of my cousins whose parents had to get married. I won’t ever do that to myself, Justin, or to a child of mine. So you see why I can’t marry you.”
“You think that would happen to us? That we’d end up resenting each other, taking it out on the kid?”
“I think it’s highly likely.”
He shook his head. “I don’t see it that way.”
“That’s because you haven’t had to live with it the way I have my whole life.”
“But you’re not your mother, and I’m not your father. And now that we’re both aware of what could go wrong, we can take steps to avoid it. We could make it work.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You don’t know that we can’t.”
“I know that for me to marry a man I’m not in love with—no offense—who’s not in love with me, is just asking for trouble. Are you in love with me?” she demanded.
“I can’t say that I am. Right now. Who’s to say I won’t be in a few months?”
“You think, what, that my fried chicken will win your heart?”
“You cook? I guess I should have asked that before I suggested we get married.”
“Very funny, Chisholm. But don’t you see that I’m right? There has to be something other than a baby who’s not even born yet to bring us together, to keep us together. Expecting a child to keep us together, that’s not fair to the child. No baby should have to shoulder that kind of responsibility.”
“I agree.” He grinned. “There’s hot sex. That’d work for about the next fifty or sixty years.”
“Ha. How about the next three or four months. Until I start looking like a beached whale. See how much you want me then.”
“Look, Blaire, I understand why you’re reluctant to marry me.”
“Do you? Look at it this way. Asking me to ignore what my parents have done and marry you anyway just because you tell me to, would be like asking you to forget how your father died and drive home drunk, just because I told you to.”
“It’s not exactly the same,” he said tightly.
Blaire could have kicked herself for bringing up his father’s death. What was the matter with her? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I think pregnancy puts holes in my brain.”
“That’s one of my points,” he said. “Pregnancy is going to cause a lot of changes for you. You’re going to need some help. A little moral support, somebody to rub your back, your feet. Somebody to pay the bills you wouldn’t ordinarily have. I can do those things for you. I want to do those things for you.”
“Oh, yeah, after you’ve been up since dawn, out working the cattle, planting hay, and all the other things you do ’til sundown every day. You’ll come in beat and hungry. You’ll be the one wanting your back rubbed.”
He nodded as if in agreement. “And when you’re through rubbing mine, and I’ve had my dinner and a couple of beers and watched the fights on ESPN, if you’re still awake I’ll rub your back.”
“I didn’t know you were such a comedian,” she said.
“Why don’t we do this,” he suggested. “You’ve said no to my proposal. I’ll accept that
, for now. But I reserve the right to try to change your mind, and to ask again. Agreed?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not from where I’m sitting. I like your cousins, by the way. The two I’ve met so far.”
“I’m glad. You’ll want to go to Connie’s funeral. I’m going to kill her for telling you where I went.”
“See? I’m not the only comedian around here.”
Justin drove Blaire back to Sherry’s apartment. They didn’t speak, but the silence was a little easier between them than their conversations had been lately.
Justin was preoccupied with what to do next. He knew, if given enough time, that he could change her mind about marrying him. He desperately wanted this settled between them before he went home. He had to tell his family what was going on before they heard it in town.
Damn. The feed store. Why hadn’t he thought of that? If Sloan or Caleb or Grandmother or anybody from the Rose or the Pruitt Ranch went in to the feed store, Blaire’s father was likely to jump down their throat, while her mother could very well hug them and welcome them to the family.
He needed to convince Blaire to marry him so they could stop keeping secrets.
“I’m going to ask you again,” he told her as he pulled up in her cousin’s parking lot.
“Justin, I’m not going to marry you.”
“You might change your mind by this time tomorrow. I’ll call you.”
“You’re welcome to call, but I won’t change my mind.”
“Maybe I’ll just call to see how you’re feeling. You are feeling all right, aren’t you?”
“I’m feeling fine. I’ll be feeling fine this time tomorrow, too. You’re not one of those guys who has to know where a woman is every hour of the day and what she’s doing, are you?”
“No. I’ll just want to know you’re okay, and if you’ve changed your mind about marrying me.”
The Chisholm Brothers:Friends, Lovers... Husbands? Page 47