“No…Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. But she has a handle on it. She did what she had to do. You took the easy way and caved in. There’s no shame in that, Nik. That’s what’s really bothering you. You’re worried at how the others will perceive you. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t preach to me, Barb, and don’t evade the question. Tell me about Myra.”
“There’s nothing to tell. Mom’s her own person, you know that. All I said was she’s smart enough to seek out help if she needs it. You kept it all bottled in. You didn’t even share with me. Shame on you, Nik.”
“What could you have done, Barb? I had to work through it on my own. For God’s sake, I drugged the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He was so sick and I did it anyway. I tricked him and then I drugged him. I helped skin a man to within an inch of his life. I lost my teaching job. I assigned my caseload to other lawyers in the firm because I couldn’t get a handle on my life. What the hell does that say about me?”
“That you’re human. Get over the guilt already. There’s no turning back now. You have to play it through to the end. If things go awry, you’ll deal with it at the time. For now, you take it one day at a time. C’mon, Nik, you’re tough and resilient. Put the picture back where it was and go take a shower. Order a pizza and skip the anchovies. Have a couple of beers and then go to bed. If you want, I’ll stay and watch over you.”
It was a comforting thought. “I’m fine, Barb. I don’t need a spirit-sitter. I’m not going to wig out. See?” Nikki said as she opened the drawer and put Jack’s picture back on the nightstand. Her voice turned cool and firm. “Just so you know, Barb, I will always love Jack.”
Nikki smiled at Barbara’s tinkling laughter . “I know that. Jack will never love anyone but you, either. True love is so wonderful.”
The tinkling laughter came again as Nikki headed for the shower. At last, she’d finally said the words out loud. Words from her heart. Words that lifted the heaviness from her shoulders and her chest. Barbara was right, she needed to take it one day at a time.
“OK, Jack, from here on in, the only time I’m going to see you is in my dreams.”
Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow she would take charge of her life and get back on track.
Nikki woke, stunned to see that it was midmorning — ten o’clock to be exact. She must still be on island time. She showered, dressed, made coffee and was ready to leave by eleven o’clock. She was on her way out when she stopped, turned around and retrieved her cell phone that had been charging during the night. Now she was ready to head out to McLean, to Myra and Charles. But first, she wanted to call her once-a-week cleaning lady to let her know she was back and then she wanted to have a picnic lunch all by herself in Rock Creek Park. It was no coincidence that she chose Rock Creek Park. She’d picnicked there hundreds of times with Jack. There was something about big, leafy trees with picnic tables underneath and patches of mossy grass that had appealed to them both. She wondered if Jack ever went there these days.
Nikki called ahead to her favorite deli to order two pastrami on rye sandwiches with spicy brown mustard, two apples and two bottles of iced tea. She didn’t realize she’d ordered two of everything the way she used to do for her and Jack until she paid the bill. Old habits were hard to break. She made a promise to herself to eat and drink it all.
Twenty minutes later, paper sack in hand, Nikki climbed out of her car, locked it and headed for a large flat rock a few feet from the running track where she spread her lunch. Joggers and runners alike waved half-heartedly as they whizzed by. Nikki barely noticed them. It was time for her to get back into some physical fitness routine, too. Maybe next week.
As she munched and chewed, Nikki let her gaze travel farther into the park where she and Jack used to sit. No one was at the picnic table. She could have spread her lunch there, but sitting there would have been like pouring salt on an open wound. She’d tortured herself enough these past months. Like the song said, breaking up is hard to do.
Nikki felt her shoulders slump inside the flannel-lined windbreaker as she finished her sandwich and the last of the iced tea. She’d crunch on the apple during the drive to McLean. Damn, she wished she’d never come here. What in the world had possessed her to come to the park that was so full of memories? “Well, maybe this was my farewell to the park because I’m not coming back,” she muttered as she headed for the trash bin to deposit the empty bottle and the waxed paper from her sandwich. She was too frugal to throw away the extra sandwich. She’d divide it up and give it to the dogs when she got to the farm. Her decision made, she turned around and that’s when she saw Jack sitting at the picnic table, his eyes glued to her. He offered no greeting. Nikki felt her heart kick up a beat at the sight of him. He was wearing a Redskins cap and a dark-blue windbreaker similar to hers with a white tee shirt underneath. She couldn’t see them but she knew he was also wearing jeans and Docksiders, his favorite outfit.
Should she wave? Should she walk away? Should she offer up a greeting? You knew this might happen. That’s why you came here. You were hoping to see Jack, a niggling voice inside her head told her.
Nikki’s legs felt rubbery and the knuckles clutching the paper sack were white as she walked over to the picnic table. She stopped a foot away.
“Hi, Jack. Want some lunch? Out of habit, I ordered two of everything.” She stepped closer and slid the bag across the table.
Jack looked at the bag as though it were a coiled snake. “I wouldn’t eat anything you gave me even if I was starving. What are you doing here anyway? Spying?”
Nikki felt her heart beating extra fast. She tried for a light tone. “Isn’t that my line? I think it’s pretty safe to eat. I bought it at Hyman’s Deli, pastrami on rye with spicy brown mustard, an apple and some iced tea. I didn’t know you’d be here, Jack. If I had known, I would have stayed away.”
Jack tossed some popcorn toward a group of bright-eyed squirrels. Overhead in the maple trees, birds squawked and screeched. Jack’s tone was so bitter, so challenging that Nikki flinched. “No one is stopping you from leaving. Just for the record, you ruined my day by showing up here. I guess I’ll have to find a new spot to go for peace and quiet. You’re the last person I wanted to see today. Gee, you must have been really working hard this summer to get a tan like that,” he sniped.
“I’ve…I’ve been away, Jack. I’ve been gone for four months. Actually, I just got home last night. I was on my way to Pinewood and I was hungry. I didn’t think you’d be here. It wasn’t a vacation, Jack. I had a breakdown of sorts. Myra and Charles sent me away to…to…to get myself together.”
“You look fine to me. Guess it worked. I had a breakdown of sorts myself. My mother died the beginning of August. I tried calling you but just got your answering machine. Your cell phone said you were out of the area.”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”
A blue jay swooped down out of the tree overhead to perch on the end of the picnic table. Jack rolled a few kernels of popcorn in the bird’s direction. The bird flew off without touching the popcorn. Jack picked it up and tossed it to the waiting squirrels.
“I needed a friend. Just a friend, Nik. My sister had her husband and the kids. Mark was with me, but it was still hard. In some ways, it was a relief for all of us, especially Mom.”
“It’s never easy, Jack. I was just a little kid when my parents died, but I still remember it, and you know what, it still hurts like hell. I still miss them. In time the grief fades a little but it never goes away. Is there anything I can do for you now?”
“Yeah. Get some guts and tell me the truth about what’s going on out there at ye olde farmhouse. Why’d you almost have a nervous breakdown? Don’t tell me it was because of me either, because that won’t fly. I think whatever you’re doing out there is getting to you. If you’re even telling me the truth, which I doubt.”
Right then Nikki wanted to sit down across from Jack
and pour out her heart. She actually took a step forward but stopped when the blue jay and one of his feisty companions flew onto the table and started to peck at Jack’s hand.
“Blue jays are mean birds, Jack. Throw the damn popcorn on the ground and get up. They’ll go for your eyes next,” Nikki said as she threw the bag of food on the table. The birds squawked some more and then flew off. The squirrels scampered forward and feasted.
“Why, Nikki Quinn, I didn’t know you cared. For a minute there you sounded like the old Nik,” Jack said, sarcasm ringing in his voice.
Nikki looked up at the trees before she gingerly sat down on the edge of the bench. “It was partly because of you. Partly because of personal…issues. I didn’t have my own phone where I was this summer.”
“And that’s supposed to impress me, I guess. Excuse me if I find that hard to believe.”
“Jack, I’m just trying to explain why you couldn’t get hold of me. By the way, what are you doing here?”
“I come here every day hoping to get some insight on what the hell happened to you. So far, no luck. Don’t even try telling me you’re not involved up to your neck in what’s going on out there at Pinewood. If you really did almost have a nervous breakdown, it wasn’t because of me; it’s because of what you’re doing. You’re breaking the goddamn law and we both know it. I’m gonna catch you, too. It’s just a matter of time.
“In case you’re interested, my leave is almost up and I’m going back to the DA’s office. This private-eye business is too taxing. Mark loves it and we’re actually making some money. When I catch you it will be legally, with the DA’s office behind me, not with a private eye’s license. And there is one other little thing that you need to be aware of, Miss Smart Ass. I now have a new best friend, Marcey Watts. I’m sure you’ve seen her byline in the Post. The woman lives to see her name in print. She’s better than a hound dog. She’s agreed to sub for me with Mark’s private-eye business. You know how those news hounds are. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Nikki felt something clutching at her heart. Hot tears pricked at her eyes. “Bye, Jack. It was nice seeing you again here in this beautiful spot. Are you sure you don’t want this sandwich?”
“Kiss my ass, Nik.”
“Your loss. It was a very good sandwich.” Nikki, shoulders stiff, hands clenched, marched off. She made a production of dropping the paper sack in the trash bin.
“I can handle this. I can really handle this. I know I can handle this,” Nikki muttered over and over as she drove out to McLean.
Three
Nikki tapped the horn lightly to announce her arrival as she zipped through the open security gates of Pinewood. She swerved into her designated parking space, wondering whose car she was parking next to. It looked familiar but she couldn’t quite place it. Maybe Myra had invited an old friend for lunch.
Nikki was no sooner out of the car than Myra and Charles were running to her, arms outstretched. Nikki closed her eyes, savoring the warm comfort of their arms. It had been a long time since she felt such comfort and she allowed herself to bask in the feeling for a minute or so.
“Darling girl, you look wonderful! Doesn’t she look wonderful, Charles?”
“She certainly does,” Charles said as he winked at Nikki. “We missed you terribly.”
“Charles has been cooking all day. Yesterday, too. I think he’s made every single thing you ever said in passing that you liked. Come in, dear, it’s getting chilly out here. Charles even made a fire in the kitchen fireplace. It’s cozy and warm and we have hot chocolate with loads and loads of marshmallows,” Myra gushed happily.
Nikki linked arms with Myra and Charles. “I can’t tell you how good it is to be home. I missed you all so much. Do you have company?”
Myra’s step faltered but she just said, “These darn new shoes. Just Maddie, dear. She drove out here to welcome you home.”
Drove out here to welcome her home. Madeline Barrows had never been out here in her life.
Barbara’s words of the previous evening rang in her ears. Something was wrong.
“Well, hi there, boss!” Maddie said, getting up from the chair she was sitting on. “I thought I’d come out here to welcome you home. We sure did miss you and your grouchy ways.”
Something was definitely wrong. Nikki could feel it, sense it, even smell it. She offered up her cheek for Maddie’s brief peck and then said, “Tell me what’s wrong. Don’t leave anything out, either. Don’t look at me like that. I can read it in your expressions. Somebody say something. What?” She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.
“Sit down, Nikki,” Charles said firmly. He turned to Myra. “Never mind the hot chocolate. Pour Nikki some brandy.” To Nikki he said, “I want you to hear me out before you explode.”
Nikki sighed. “I knew it! I knew something was wrong!” She fixed her gaze on Maddie. “Is someone suing the firm? Did the new girl screw up?”
Charles set the brandy snifter in front of Nikki. “I’d like to do this in chronological order if you don’t mind. This way you’ll get a clearer picture of what happened and everyone’s role in it.”
Aware of Charles’s love of storytelling, Nikki grimaced. “Can you just cut to the chase and give me the highlights?”
Charles frowned. He’d rehearsed this speech a dozen times at Myra’s insistence. Now he had to deviate. “All right. Right after you left, Myra and I went riding because both of us thought there was something strange about the Barringtons’ horses. As you know, their property borders Pinewood. At any given time there are usually thirty to forty horses in their pastures. Recently they sold off the prize horses. Those that were not top of the line breeds were left without food or shelter. Barrington kept only those that would turn a profit. The sixteen remaining horses were in desperate need of medical attention. They would all be dead by now if Myra and I hadn’t gone riding that day. We called the authorities and, out of the sixteen, only one horse died. However, we found the bodies of seven other horses that had died earlier. The Barringtons were away but were tracked down by the authorities. Their defense was that they left the horses in the care of some man whose name they couldn’t even remember, according to the police. The state filed charges. The Barringtons sued the state and Myra.
“The attorney the Barringtons hired to defend them was the young woman, Allison Banks, whom you hired to fill Barbara’s position at your firm. She successfully defended the Barringtons and won the case. Myra was ordered to make restitution to the tune of ten million dollars for the horses we took to safety. Add to that unlawful trespassing and a few other things they managed to add to the indictment.
“Now, the Barringtons are back home and in the horse business again, buying and selling to top bidders. Your firm has gone downhill since the verdict came in at the beginning of the month. Several of your colleagues quit, not wanting to be associated with such people. Ms. Banks is sitting on top of the legal world and, at the moment, weighing her options. It seems all the prestigious firms in the District are vying for her expertise.”
“They were acquitted?” was all Nikki could say.
Maddie spoke for the first time. “Nikki, I told Allison not to take the case. The others in the firm agreed. We said it was a conflict of interest and she said, and this is a direct quote, ‘Tough shit!’ That mousy little thing you hired turned into a monster. She threw away those thick glasses and got contact lenses. She highlighted her hair, got a makeover, bought herself Armani suits, a different one for every day of the week, all with miniskirts. She looked like a sexy movie star when she strolled into court. Even the judge was smitten with her. She’s hard as nails, Nikki. She could chew a nickel and spit rust. I would have fired her but you gave her a year’s contract so there was nothing I could do.
“Jack Emery, your old boyfriend, was in court every day watching the proceedings. So was I. Every single day he asked me if you knew what was going on. Every single day I had to say no. He couldn’t believe the state
lost the case. They are appealing. Myra is appealing, too.
“There was some talk, and it was just talk, Nikki, that after the verdict came in, the Barringtons settled a hefty sum of money on Ms. Banks for winning their case. Like I said, it was just talk, but talk has to start somewhere.
“There’s one other thing, Nikki. I don’t know if you’re interested in this or not, but I happen to know it’s true because one of our lawyers is dating an ADA in Jack’s old office. Jack’s old boss approached him to come back to the DA’s office to try the case, but he turned it down when he saw Myra’s name on the lawsuit. Think what you will about Jack, but he did turn it down. They’re after him hot and heavy. Scuttlebutt says he is going to go back when his leave is up. No more Assistant District Attorney, either. He’s got the two initials if he wants them. But if is the operative word here.
“Last, but not least, the firm’s business is down fifty percent. There are no new clients walking through the doors. No one in this part of horse country wants to be associated with lawyers who defend people like the Barringtons. Some of our old clients bailed on us, too.”
Nikki gulped the fiery liquid in the snifter that Charles had handed her. Her eyes started to water as she tried to come to terms with what she’d just heard. When she could finally get the words out she said, “And none of you saw fit to tell me any of this? How could you keep all this from me? How, Myra?”
“Nikki, dear, we never thought it would escalate to this. In the beginning the horses were all that was important. Yes, we did trespass, but the Equestrian Society backed me up when they found out what was going on at the Barringtons’ place. If that…that twit you hired to replace my daughter hadn’t stepped in, none of this would have happened.”
“But it did happen, Myra. Now my firm is a shambles, you owe ten million dollars, and that twit is sitting on top of the world. I would have come back and figured out a way to chop her off at the knees. I never would have allowed this to happen. I would have shut down the firm first and taken my lumps. Who was the stupid judge who let this go to trial?”
The Jury Page 3