WAR: Opposition: (WAR Book 3)
Page 37
“I’m doing what needs to be done to protect my family. Besides, what have I got to live for?”
The pain couldn’t have been greater if he’d stabbed her in the chest. She swayed. “Great. Glad to know where I stand with you.”
“Kirra, no. That’s not what I meant.” He reached for her.
She lunged past him, picked up the nearest pillow and flung it at his head. “How dare you discount what’s happened between us?” she screeched.
Seth ducked, so she threw the other pillow at him. “Don’t you know how rare this type of connection is?” Her voice cracked. “I would have given anything to have another person to live for after Kyle died. That’s why I latched onto Franz. He gave the illusion of caring. At least for a while.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it?” She stepped forward and stabbed her finger into his chest. “I officially died three times after the attack. Three!” Her voice shouted the word, then dropped to a near whisper as she continued, “When I woke up in hospital and realized not only how alone I was, but how badly I’d misjudged everyone in my life, I wanted to die.” She shoved him away from her.
“It wasn’t fair that I’d lost my twin!” she yelled. “That my parents wished I’d been the one who died, instead of Kyle.” She shoved Seth again. “I thought it would have been better if the paramedics hadn’t arrived in time to save me. Because I was the worthless one. The irresponsible screwup that no one wanted.”
She spun away from Seth. “Poor Kirra, who never made the right decisions. Poor Kirra, who was too stupid to run her own life. She’ll never amount to anything.” She choked back a sob. “You know what really hurts? Even though I’d been estranged from my parents, I’d hoped for a show of love. Of support.”
Still furious after all this time, she snatched up the battery-powered, analog alarm clock and hurled it across the room. It gave a satisfying clang as it hit the wall. “But of course that’s not what happened. Underneath the socially acceptable words of sympathy were the usual criticisms. Of course I’d ended up in trouble. I always did. Maybe this time the consequences of my poor choices would force me to change.”
She grabbed one of the pillows off the floor and slammed it into the headboard. “If my own parents couldn’t find it in their hearts to be truly glad I’d survived, how was I supposed to care?” She continued hitting the headboard with the pillow until her strength and anger gave out, and she sank to her knees beside the bed.
“A nurse overheard my mother saying that if I’d been more responsible, like Kyle, then I wouldn’t have been hurt. With my permission, the nurse had my parents banned from the hospital. But I don’t think they wanted to return,” Kirra added in a whisper. “They’d given me the necessary lecture and had nothing more to say.”
“God, Kirra.” Seth knelt behind her, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and rocked her gently. “Your parents were wrong. So wrong. You’re everything good and bright and strong. Without you, the world would be so much darker. I would love to have a future with you, but I don’t see a way. That’s what I meant earlier. Not that you don’t matter. Because you do.”
She sank back into his embrace. How could she get him to understand that a man who’d comfort her like this deserved a second chance? There had to be another way out.
“Trust me,” she said. “If I can come back from that, then between the two of us and Dev, we’ll definitely find a way to keep your family safe and you alive.”
Seth’s sigh blew a lock of hair onto her cheek. “You’re missing the point.” He stood up and helped her to her feet. “People have seen us together. The news will have reached my blackmailer by now. You’re at risk from him, too.”
“That’s just another excuse to push me away.”
“Hell, yes. Don’t you get it? Staying with me is dangerous. I already have too many deaths on my hands. I’m not going to add yours.” He dropped her hand. “As soon as my phone has signal, you’re calling your brother and arranging for him to pick you up. Then I’m going to do what I need to do. Otherwise, you’re going to die because of me. I couldn’t bear that.”
“And I can’t bear it if you die! So put aside your guilt and anger for a moment and think outside the box. There has to be another solution.”
“There’s not!” He stared at her with such despair in his eyes, she fought tears. He’d given up and she didn’t know how to convince him to keep fighting.
So she did the only thing she could think of. She pulled his head down. Seth hesitated a moment, then his mouth plundered hers with such desperation, her chest ached. She understood the conflict of wanting something with every breath you took while at the same time not fully believing you’d ever achieve it.
She poured all of her love into kissing him back. Trying to communicate something that she’d only just now recognized herself. She would fight to the death for this broken, trapped man. Because to her, he was worth everything.
Seth broke the kiss and raced to the window.
Kirra strained and finally picked up the unwelcome sound of a helicopter. “Who is it?” she demanded.
“No distinguishing marks. Could be Bureh’s or Sankoh’s. Or anyone else who’s heard about the damned diamonds and has the funds to purchase and maintain a helicopter.” He stepped back. “Since it’s stopped raining, we need to leave.”
“Won’t that put us in their sights?”
“Not yet. They’re flying fast in a straight line that will take them out of sight in a minute. For now they’re not running a search pattern. Since imaging systems are expensive, the odds are in our favor that this helicopter isn’t equipped with any special tech to locate our heat signatures. The jungle will give us more options for escape if they do come back.”
He grabbed his pack and stalked out the door.
Kirra shouldered her own pack and followed him out of the bungalow and into the jungle. She let him stew in silence for a few minutes before saying, “The level of self-directed anger you’re carrying will eat away at both your confidence and your soul, Seth. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve berated myself for the bad choices I made after Kyle’s death.”
“You were grieving,” he snarled without turning around. “How could anyone expect you to make rational decisions? Your parents should have been more supportive.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I would have still made the same choices out of defiance. I had a lot of growing up to do. Sometimes we need to experience the hard lessons because that’s the only way we’ll learn.”
She sighed. “Most of the time I’m able to forgive the girl I was for the mistakes she made because of her grief and loneliness. But sometimes I still hear a little voice chiding me for not being smart enough or strong enough to say no to Franz and deal with life on my own rather than becoming involved in such a toxic relationship.”
“Don’t you dare—”
“Yes,” she said, talking over him. “Sometimes I do blame myself for the attack.”
Seth spun around and grabbed her shoulders. “That’s complete bullshit and you know it.”
She gave him a slight smile. “You’re right. And usually I acknowledge that. I’ve certainly heard my therapist and my mentor tell me countless times that Franz and his friends were the only ones responsible for the attack.” She shrugged. “But you understand that guilt isn’t so easy to reason away, don’t you?”
He closed his eyes. “Yeah.”
“And do you understand that unless you take steps to forgive yourself you’re never going to heal?”
He sighed and rested his forehead on hers. “Yeah, but—”
She slapped her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it. Don’t say that you don’t need to work on forgiving yourself because you’re going to die soon. Just…don’t. Okay?”
He nodded. She lifted her hand and he murmured, “Okay, I won’t say it again.”
When he opened his eyes and stepped back, she saw clearly the unspoken words. But that doesn’
t mean I won’t be thinking it.
She threw her hands up in the air. “Fine. Be a stubborn idiot. But I’m going to ask Dev for his help. If you won’t fight for your future, I’ll just have to do it for you.”
“No!”
Kirra flinched.
“You have to listen to me, Kirra. Didn’t you hear me when I told you that everyone I’ve ever reached out to for help has been killed? If you try to involve your brother, he’ll die, too. Then my blackmailer will send someone to kill you. If we weren’t so far from civilization, I’d leave you right now.”
The panicked expression on his face hammered home the truth that her heart didn’t want to believe. Staying with Seth put her life at risk.
But leaving him would tear out a piece of her soul.
Chapter Thirty-One
Why the hell hadn’t Jarrod called him back? Dev glared at his satellite phone, then tossed it on the Jeep’s console. He’d put in a call to WAR headquarters requesting help in tracking Jarrod’s phone, but so far they hadn’t had any luck.
Dev studied the overcast skies for any sign that Bureh’s helicopter was on its way back. According to the last report he’d received, the helicopter had located the downed plane, but the crew hadn’t spotted any survivors through the veil of heavy rain. So the helicopter had returned to the landing pad behind Sankoh’s main office and taken on a load of men from both Bureh’s and Sankoh’s troops. Those men would continue the search on foot.
For once Dev was relieved that there was no sign of Kirra and Jarrod, because he was too far away from the crash site to offer assistance if the couple was spotted.
He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, then picked up his phone and dialed Jarrod again. He needed to warn the man that not only were he and Kirra being pursued on foot, but Bureh had ordered several troop transport trucks north to the concert. Sankoh had also sent a group of his men north. Plus, Rebel Tracker Radio reported that troops from other rebel factions were converging on the area.
Dev had to make certain that Jarrod didn’t take Kirra anywhere near the concert.
Seth slogged his way through the mud of the cattle trail they’d been following. He desperately wanted to find a way out of this situation and build a future with Kirra, but he knew the chances of that were slim to none. Even with him in charge of the diamonds, there was still the matter of not having anyone to trust. Or who would trust him.
Except for Kirra.
Her love and fierce defense of him had ignited a warm glow inside his chest that he didn’t ever want to ever go away. Yet he had to make certain that Kirra was safe. Which is why he kept checking his phone to see if they had enough power to get a signal. Despite having fastened the solar charger to the top of his backpack in hopes of catching enough sun, the device was taking forever to charge. At this rate, they’d reach the east-west road long before he had enough juice to put a call through to her brother.
He still didn’t share Kirra’s optimism that her brother could—or would—help him, but Seth was desperate enough to talk to the guy. It would have to be man-to-man, though. Someplace where they wouldn’t be observed. Because he’d be damned if he’d risk the chance of his blackmailer learning he’d reached out to WAR. His family would be dead in an instant.
Of course, he was only guessing about her brother’s affiliation. If he was wrong, or if WAR decided he was a bad bet and not to help him, then it was back to his original plan and the assassin.
The jungle on either side of them eventually thinned to sporadic patches of forest that provided little in the way of shade or potential hiding places. After stopping for a brief lunch of the remaining MREs, during which they refilled their water bottles from a nearby stream, they reached a side road that by Seth’s calculations should take them to the east-west road he wanted.
Although it was also unpaved, with both hoof and tire imprints, the mud had mostly dried by now, making walking easier. Still, Seth noticed that Kirra was moving noticeably slower. She must be exhausted, but she hadn’t issued one word of complaint.
God, how he loved her. No matter what happened to him, he had to make certain she survived.
Hearing the sound of a car’s engine, Seth hustled Kirra into the bushes at the side of the road. As they watched the car pass by, she said, “We need a vehicle.”
“Yeah. There should be a small town up ahead. If we’re lucky, there’ll be another vehicle we can steal.”
She sighed. “Once upon a time, stealing a car would have given me a rush. How sad is it that now it’s become routine?”
He had no answer for that.
Unfortunately, the next town was little more than a collection of mud huts. A group of men were unloading sacks of grain from a battered pickup truck. The only other vehicles were a couple of bicycles. He shared a look with Kirra. She nodded in silent agreement and they continued on.
The sun had begun its descent when they finally reached the outskirts of a larger town.
“I know,” Kirra said, sitting down on a log behind a thin screen of bushes. “Wait here while you play scout.”
“No.”
She glanced up at him in surprise.
“It’ll be faster if we both search.”
“Oh.” The smile she gave him warmed him all the way through. And made him realize how important it was for her to feel like a partner.
“We should leave our packs here, though.” He slipped out of his and shoved it behind the log, underneath a bush.
Watching Kirra go into stealth mode was a revelation. He thought his training had been excellent, but her use of shadows and the way she glided from spot to spot in a manner that didn’t draw attention but that covered ground quickly, was damn impressive. He tried to imitate her, but felt clunky and awkward in comparison.
They separated once the main street split.
He was debating the wisdom of stealing a minivan missing its sliding door, when Kirra waved to him from across the street.
When he joined her, she led him around the back of a house to a shiny, beige Toyota 4-Runner.
He shook his head and put his mouth against her ear. “Too new. We’ll never—”
Smirking, she held up a set of keys.
When he raised his brows, she nodded toward the back of the house. “They were hanging from a hook just inside that window.”
From here, he couldn’t see any damage to the louvered windows or the screen. “Slick,” he murmured.
She handed him the keys, then went to the front of the house. At her signal that no one was near, he started the engine. She hopped in as he backed out.
“God, it feels so good to be sitting on a soft seat,” she murmured after they’d retrieved their packs and hit the road.
“Hang on just a little longer, angel,” Seth said, plugging the phone charger into the cigarette lighter. “We’ll soon have enough charge to call your brother.”
She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.
Tough. He didn’t care if she was mad at him. He’d do whatever necessary to keep her safe.
Which is why, when he spotted the connector road that would take them to the back route into the concert, he drove on by. He glanced over at the passenger seat, expecting a comment from Kirra. But she was dozing lightly, her head against the window.
Good. She needed her rest.
His phone rang. Seth snatched it up as Kirra bolted fully awake. “Yeah?”
“You better have my sister safe with you, Jarrod, or you’re a dead man walking.”
Still annoyed that the man knew his real name, Seth found himself saying, “Sorry. You have the wrong number. This is Michael—”
“Hughes. No, it isn’t. That’s your fucking alias. Now put my sister on the phone right goddamn now.”
Seth held the phone out to Kirra. “Your brother wants to talk to you.”
She eyed the phone warily. No wonder. Her brother sounded like he was prepared to ream her a new one. Normally, he would have pulled over and
exited the vehicle to give her privacy, but not now. He belonged right here. By her side. Lending her his support. Fully prepared to do a little yelling of his own if her brother made her cry.
“Hello, Dev.” She winced and curled her shoulders forward. “Yes. I’m fine.”
Seth put his hand on her thigh and squeezed encouragingly.
Kirra smiled at him, then rolled her shoulders back and raised her chin.
“No, honestly, I am…I know. Yeah. I know…Uh-huh…We’re, uh, not far from the concert location.” She frowned. “Yes. They were hidden with my feminine products. But how did you know about the diamonds?…Uh-huh.…Where are you? Oh.” She flicked a glance at Seth. “All right…I love you, too. Okay. Hold on.” She held the phone back out to him. “He wants to talk to you.”
“All right, asshole,” Dev said. “Kirra says she’s fine. Indy tells me you’re a good guy at heart, so prove him right by keeping my sister safe.”
Seth blinked in shock. “Indy?” He cleared his throat. “Indy’s here in West Africa?” Marcus Jones. Seth’s former best friend and chief rival for the claim of being the best helicopter pilot in the special ops community. Marcus had been nicknamed Indy because he shared both a last name and a fear of snakes with the movie character Indiana Jones.
And he’d thought this situation couldn’t get more complicated. If Marcus was also a member of WAR, then Seth was more screwed than he’d thought. Marcus might not be part of the military any longer, but if he discovered that Seth was AWOL, Marcus would turn him in. They hadn’t exactly parted on good terms. Plus, Marcus’s poor opinion of him would only have been reinforced by any rumors regarding the deaths Seth and his team had caused.
Anger flared. If he hadn’t screwed up their relationship, then Marcus would know that Seth would never willingly kill innocent civilians. Forcing the anger back, he asked, “Indy’s also a fucking ghost?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Dev snapped.
Seth knew Kirra’s brother couldn’t confess to being a member of WAR over the phone, but he couldn’t imagine any other reason for Dev to know Marcus unless they both belonged to the ultra-secret organization.