by Leah Martyn
Nikki blocked a yawn. ‘Perhaps Michelle made only coffee.’
He dragged up an exaggerated sigh from his boots. ‘Then I guess I’ll just have to cope, won’t I?’
‘It’s after midnight.’ Nikki made the observation as they stood, tracking the blinking lights of the aircraft across the pale night sky.
Nathan was on his way to hospital. His family had been notified and would be on hand to meet the flight.
Danny had offered Joel a bed, promising they’d be up at first light to locate his car. After the rather abortive end to their holiday, Joel had made it clear he didn’t want to hang about. He’d gather up the rest of the gear from their campsite and begin the long drive back to Brisbane.
‘Ready to go?’ Liam slung his arm across Nikki’s shoulders and they turned, making their way across to where the Land Rover was parked on the periphery of the airstrip.
‘Won’t take us long to get home.’
They were quiet as they drove. Nikki clasped her hands in her lap, conscious of an odd kind of tension knotting the air between them.
When they arrived home, they kicked off their shoes and trooped through to the kitchen. Nikki made a face at the unwashed dishes. ‘Like something to eat?’
‘No, thanks.’ Liam opened a top cupboard. ‘I just need a drink. You take the shower first.’
Feeling dismissed, Nikki turned and left. He hadn’t invited her to share a drink with him, she fumed, peeling off her soiled clothes and shoving them into the hamper.
They hadn’t even debriefed properly, for heaven’s sake! He could have spared her a few of his precious minutes, surely. She climbed into the shower, letting the hot stream of water ease her aching muscles, then realised she’d stayed far too long.
Guiltily, she closed off the taps. One slip-up didn’t constitute a major crime, she told her conscience defensively. Returning to her bedroom, she cast the towel aside, slipping on a simple T-shirt nightie. Then she plonked down on the edge of the bed, memories bombarding her out of nowhere.
Memories of when she and Liam had had the privilege of sharing a bed, waking in the night and reaching for each other. Memories of murmured words and soft sighs of fulfilment. Other memories of a wild coming together that had left them breathless and shaken.
She ran her hands roughly through her hair as if to clear away the shards of retrospection, deciding that reminiscing was fruitless. At one time she and Liam had had a marriage. And now neither of them seemed to know whether or not they wanted it back. Or, if they did, how to go about it. Sighing, she stood. She needed a glass of water.
Barefoot, she padded along to the kitchen, wondering fleetingly if Liam was still there or whether perhaps he’d taken his drink and gone out onto the deck. Well, wherever he was, he clearly didn’t want her company. She’d get her water and take herself off to bed.
But several seconds later all her noble intentions fell flat on their collective faces. At the door of the kitchen she paused and drew back. Liam was seated at the table, looking down into his glass of whisky, a look of absolute bleakness on his face, a muscle working overtime in his jaw.
Nikki took a shaken breath, barely resisting the urge to go to him, to take the glass out of his hand and simply hold him.
Oh, lord. Her hand went to her heart. He was so tense. Like a bowstring that had been stretched too tight and was about to snap. Her teeth clenched on her bottom lip and she took a step back. For a second she stood there and then she brought her head up and decided to throw caution to the winds.
‘Liam…’
He lifted his head, blinking as if he needed to focus.
‘You OK?’ Nikki felt her heart begin to thud in slow, suffocatingly heavy strokes as she covered the short distance to stand beside him.
He looked up at her, his expression slightly glazed. ‘I ache a bit. Long old day.’
‘Let me help.’
He held up the whisky bottle which was more than half-full. ‘Even between the two of us, that might take a while.’
Nikki lifted her gaze briefly. ‘Not that. Let me ease the tension out of your shoulders.’
‘A massage?’
‘I still know how,’ she reminded him.
‘I don’t doubt it.’ He laughed shortly. ‘But is it wise?’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake!’ Leaning forward, she snapped open several buttons on his shirt and tugged it over his head. ‘Now, relax,’ she ordered, running her fingers experimentally over the planes of his shoulders and into the deep cord of muscle at the base of his neck. After a minute she huffed, ‘This is hopeless. You’re as tight as a drum. I’ll get some oil.’
She came back bearing a small brown bottle.
Liam eyed it suspiciously. ‘What is it?’
Nikki poured some of the oil into her palm. ‘It’s a blend of lavender, almond and myrrh and a couple of others. Now, close your eyes and try to let go.’ Methodically, she smoothed the oil over his skin and began all over again, working her fingers deep into the areas where she could feel his muscles grabbing, her whole being concentrating on the rhythm of her hands.
‘Now we’re getting somewhere,’ she murmured with satisfaction, feeling his muscles beginning to unknot under her smoothing and kneading. Suddenly the thought crept in that the whole process she was engaged in was almost erotic.
Her heart gave a dangerous little skip. She took in a steadying breath, acknowledging the rapid acceleration of her pulse, relishing the warm smoothness of his skin, and how touching him like this was heaping pleasure on her senses…
‘Enough.’ Suddenly Liam reached back to still her hands. ‘That’s fine. Thanks…’
‘Oh—OK.’ She frowned slightly. Such gratitude. She lifted her hands away and stood back. ‘Fine.’ She went across to the bench, her back to him as she tore off a section of paper towel to wipe her hands.
‘Nikki?’
She turned, crunching the paper towel and dropping it into the bin. ‘Liam?’
‘Thank you,’ he began throatily. ‘I mean that—it was fantastic. But…I shouldn’t have let you do it to me.’
Nikki’s gaze widened. ‘Why ever not?’
‘Because…’ A gravelly sigh dragged itself up from the depths of his chest. ‘Because it’s too intimate.’
‘Oh.’ She felt her face flood with colour. She tried to swallow but the action seemed too complicated. Instead, she licked her lips. ‘I didn’t mean to embarrass you—you looked so tense. I just—I’m sorry.’
‘No, don’t apologise. Please.’ He held out a hand to her and she took it, allowing him to draw her closer.
‘You could have stopped me.’ She sank weakly onto his lap.
His fingers, blunt and strong, tipped her chin up gently so that she met his eyes. They were dark pools. Fathoms deep. ‘I’m a masochist, I suppose.’ His mouth pulled down in a mocking little twist. ‘And your hands delivered such exquisite torture.’
‘Did they just…?’ Nikki moved a bit uncomfortably on his lap. She knew that already. ‘So, Dr Donovan…’ She began edging closer, pressing against him, her mouth barely a breath away from his.
‘So, what?’
He’d spoken quietly, his voice so deep it made her shiver. ‘You must know what,’ she murmured, raising her hands, spreading her fingers to bracket his face. ‘I think I deserve payment, don’t you?’
He tasted of whisky and his jaw was rough with new beard. Their mouths sought each other’s, sipped and nipped, and she heard a half-growl escape from his throat as their kiss deepened.
I don’t want to be alone tonight, she whispered silently. And it would be so easy. A few steps along the hallway to her—his bedroom. And it was what she wanted, needed.
She felt him pulling back, his fingers moving to twine in her hair at the back. The gentlest pressure brought her head up. His eyes, disturbingly dark, looked into her face. ‘Nikki…’ His throat worked as he swallowed. ‘We can’t take this any further.’
‘Why not?’ She was
kissing him again, touching him, her fingers working their way down over his throat, his chest, across the hard male nipples. ‘I want you…’ Her mouth dallied with his again, meltingly soft against his. ‘Liam, want me too…’
‘No!’ Liam recoiled. ‘Nikki, we have to stop.’ His eyes smouldering, he looked into her face. ‘Right now.’
‘Why?’ She swallowed heavily, her mind half-numb. ‘We could be reconciled. Don’t you want that?’
‘Oh, sweet,’ he muttered hoarsely, nuzzling the side of her head. ‘It’s been a hell of a day. We’re both strung out and emotional. It’s not the right time to make such far-reaching decisions.’
She felt her head drop a little. ‘You don’t want me.’
‘On the contrary,’ he refuted, nudging a strand of her hair sideways, seeking the soft skin behind her ear. ‘You drive me crazy.’
Nikki’s head tipped to one side. ‘Then why are you holding back?’
His hands slid beneath her. ‘I told you why.’ He levered himself upright taking her with him. ‘Plus—and this probably sounds a bit lame—I don’t have any protection about the place.’
‘Oh, Liam…’ She took one of his hands, raising it to her mouth to kiss his knuckles. ‘That tells me so much about you.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘It does?’
‘Mmm.’ She draped her arms around his waist. ‘It tells me you haven’t had a woman here in ages.’
He laughed—a short painful sound—brushing her cheek with the tip of one finger. ‘Lady, I haven’t had a woman in ages.’
Wherever else they might have gone with the conversation was never realised. Instead, they were distracted by Lightning. Tail whipping importantly, he ambled into the kitchen and parked himself at their feet. He looked up, his green eyes asking for approval.
‘Aagh!’ Nikki shrieked. ‘He’s got a mouse!’
Liam looked amused. ‘For crying out loud, Nik, he’s a cat! He’s showing us how clever he is.’
‘I don’t want to know.’ She put her hand to her throat. ‘Is it dead?’
‘Very, I should think.’
Nikki crossed her arms, her fingers pulling agitatedly at the edges of her sleeves. ‘Can you dispose of it, please?’
‘Wimp.’ Liam chuckled. ‘Go to bed.’ He flicked a hand to shoo her away. ‘I’ll see to it.’
‘Good.’ She stepped delicately away. ‘I don’t want to find it decorating the place in the morning. Uh, Liam…’ She paused at the door and looked back. ‘If you should…change your mind, I won’t be asleep.’
Liam tilted his head, meeting her regard levelly. ‘Good night, Nikki.’
In other words, no chance. She spun on her heel and walked away.
‘Stubborn man.’ She hugged her arms around her shoulders and rocked herself gently in the middle of the bed. Whatever made you think you could influence him, Nicola? And as for talking him into bed…Eyes sparkling with unshed tears and exhausted by emotion, she climbed between the sheets. One day soon, she promised herself. Gathering the pillow to her, she snuggled against the cool cotton fabric and imagined how it would be when she and Liam were lovers again.
CHAPTER EIGHT
NIKKI was heartened when Sonia Reed kept her promise to bring Emily in for a check-up before the family left Wirilda next morning. And now, having examined the child, she’d asked Grace to keep her occupied while she had a chat to the young mother.
‘Apart from the eczema, Sonia, Emily seems a healthy child.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ Sonia turned an anxious eye towards the door. ‘She’ll be OK with the receptionist, won’t she?’ She spread her hands in appeal. ‘It’s just that she doesn’t really get a chance to mix with anyone outside the immediate family.’
Nikki sent her a reassuring smile. ‘Grace has a knack with kids. She’ll keep her entertained. And I really wanted this time to speak privately with you.’
Sonia nodded. ‘I’ve used the oat sock in the bath,’ she confided eagerly. ‘I know it’s too soon to see any results…’
‘But it’s a start,’ Nikki said approvingly. ‘Have you thought any further about getting Emily to a dietitian?’
The young woman flushed slightly. ‘Actually, I had a long talk to Marcus last night after the show. Oddly enough, we’d both been thinking along the same lines—that we’d like to leave the circus and get a more settled lifestyle.’
‘So, is it going to be a possibility?’ Nikki asked gently.
‘We hope so.’ Sonia raised a shoulder. ‘It’ll depend on whether his dad can afford some kind of severance package. Marc deserves something,’ she said loyally. ‘He’s worked in the circus since he left school and has always given his best. And I’ve pulled my weight, too, wherever I could. Sorry.’ She bit her lips together. ‘I know you must be busy and I’m rattling on.’
‘You’re my last appointment before lunch,’ Nikki said kindly. ‘I can spare a few minutes. So…’ she said consideringly. ‘Providing you and your husband can come to some satisfactory arrangement, you could be settled quite soon?’
‘I’d like to think so. We’ll head back east towards one of the regional cities. I’d love to be able to start Em at kindergarten or playgroup. And Marc will get work,’ she added with the confidence of youth. ‘He may have to retrain for something but I can work while he does that. I was a school secretary. That’s how we met. Marc came in one day to leave some free passes for the students…’
The consultation finally came to an end. ‘Good luck with everything.’ Nikki stood at the door of her surgery and warmly bade Sonia farewell.
‘Thanks, Dr Barrett—I mean thanks for listening and putting me on the right track about Em. The mums at the laundrette were right about you.’ Sonia gave a nervous little laugh, her fingers fluttering to the medallion at her throat. ‘You really are tuned in to your patients.’
Feeling upbeat and appreciated, Nikki made her way along to the lunch-room. Liam was already seated, his head buried in a medical journal.
‘Hi,’ she said, her confidence fading slightly. He looked tired and grim. ‘You were gone early this morning.’
‘Call-out,’ he responded without lifting his gaze. ‘One of the elderly ladies from the nursing home went on a wander. The night sister wanted her checked over. Busy surgery?’ He finally raised his head, flipping the journal closed.
‘As always.’ Nikki pulled out a chair and sat opposite him. She put out a hand, stroking it along his forearm. ‘Did you get much sleep?’
Liam didn’t respond.
‘I mean it would be understandable if you didn’t…’ The words tumbled out and then she slowly withdrew her hand, cross with herself for referring even obliquely to the new level of intimacy they’d reached last night.
Finally, Liam said carefully, ‘Nikki, where are you going with this?’
Her eyes widened. It wasn’t the reaction she’d expected at all. ‘I…only wanted to talk about things—about us.’
He blinked. ‘Now isn’t the time.’
Nettled, she asked bluntly, ‘When will be the time, then?’
He made a throw-away motion with his hand.
‘Then should I make an appointment with you?’ she retorted, deliberately facetious.
‘You’re being childish,’ he drawled darkly.
She looked at him for a long moment, then said steadily, ‘If our relationship is such a trial to you, perhaps I’d better move out.’
He hooted. ‘Give me a break. Where would you go?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know—the pub?’
‘I’m not having you living there, Nikki, so just forget it.’
‘Don’t tell me what to do!’
‘Stop this,’ he rasped urgently. ‘Grace will be here any second and I won’t have our personal affairs—’
‘Who’s having an affair?’ Grace bustled in with a loaded lunch-tray, her gaze bright with curiosity.
Nikki snorted. ‘No one around here, that’s for sure.’
&nbs
p; Liam’s eyes narrowed on her flushed face, the angry tilt of her small chin. Damn! There was so much he’d wanted to say to her. Was he being an overcautious clod? It was clear where Nikki had wanted last night to end.
He lifted a hand, spanning his temple, massaging an obvious ache. Maybe that’s what he should do—take her to bed and to hell with the consequences. He took a deep controlling breath and managed a passable smile. ‘You’re a lifesaver, Gracie. Sit down. I’ll pour the tea.’
Grace needed no second invitation. ‘I heard some rather disturbing news this morning.’ Her faintly troubled eyes linked the two doctors. ‘The primary school is about to lose a chunk of its teacher aide funding.’
‘How come?’ Nikki took a sandwich and made an effort to concentrate.
‘Well…’ Grace was already in full flight. ‘Over the past few weeks two more families have had to leave the district. They each had two children at the school.’
‘So the school is now down four students.’ Keeping his gaze firmly averted, Liam placed a mug of tea in front of Nikki.
Grace nodded. ‘And places mean funding. For heaven’s sake, it’s five precious hours a week that’s being lost to the students, to say nothing of the drop in her annual salary for the teacher aide.’
‘That’s Jade Murphy, isn’t it?’ Liam’s mouth drew in. ‘I play squash with her husband Damien sometimes. Any idea of the salary cut?’
‘Around the four thousand dollar mark,’ Grace said gloomily. ‘But it may as well be four million.’
‘Why don’t we organise a community effort to raise the money?’ Nikki brightened at the new challenge. ‘Perhaps a quick mega-raffle. Surely if we club together we could come up with a suitable prize.’
‘It would be like robbing Peter to pay Paul.’ Liam dismissed her idea. ‘No one’s got any spare cash to buy raffle tickets.’
Nikki swallowed through a hard little laugh. ‘Well, that’s me shot down in flames.’
‘Oh, Nikki, it was a lovely thought.’ Sensing the tension between the two, Grace rushed in to restore calm. ‘But Liam’s right.’ She shook her head. ‘There’s really nothing we can do.’