The Road Trip_A feel-good romantic comedy that will make you laugh out loud!

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The Road Trip_A feel-good romantic comedy that will make you laugh out loud! Page 9

by Susanne O’Leary


  ‘You have saved my life, darling girl,’ Horace said and hung up.

  ‘What was that all about?’ Leanne asked after Maddy had put her phone away.

  Maddy smirked. ‘Turns out we just got ourselves a new passenger.’

  * * *

  Their visit to Oxford cancelled due to a lack of time, they drove on, making a quick detour to Windsor to buy food suitable for a spoilt poodle. In the Posh Pooch shop, they purchased dog food of the dry variety, a soft dog bed, a collar and lead decorated with little red hearts and two bowls for food and water. Maddy steered Leanne away from the dog rain capes, squeaky toys and other unnecessary items.

  ‘But it’s all so cute,’ Leanne cooed, stroking a dog cardigan in soft blue. ‘This must be what it’s like to buy clothes for a new baby.’

  ‘No, it’s not,’ Maddy said with feeling, her thoughts going back to those days when she had first discovered she was pregnant with Sophie. The joy mixed with fear. The miracle of the first little kick, the knowledge that life would never be the same again and that a new little person was growing inside her. ‘Having a baby is a true miracle. A dog is just a dog.’

  Leanne looked contrite. ‘I know. Sorry. I didn’t mean – it was a stupid thing to say.’

  Maddy put her hand on Leanne’s arm. ‘It’s okay. No harm done. It was just that what you said made me realise how much I miss them. The babies, I mean.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Dogs can make wonderful companions, especially for people living alone,’ Maddy continued, not wanting to upset Leanne. ‘But you can’t turn them into your baby. Or a fashion accessory,’ she added, eyeing a woman in the opposite aisle trying to fit a pink sweater on a tiny Chihuahua with sad eyes. ‘Dogs don’t need clothes. They have fur.’

  ‘I know that too,’ Leanne said, hugging Gidget to her chest. ‘But can I love her anyway?’

  Maddy laughed. ‘You can. And you may buy her that chicken toy too. Come on, let’s get out of this hot shop before you end up spending a fortune. I want to go and see the castle.’

  ‘Just one more thing,’ Leanne said as they walked back to the car with Gidget on her new lead. ‘I want to change her name. I hate Gidget, don’t you?’

  ‘With a passion. But that’s her name, and she knows it and comes when you call her.’

  ‘Yeah, but if we call her Bridget, she won’t know the difference.’

  Maddy nodded. ‘Of course! Brilliant idea. Love the name. Suits her, too, doesn’t it, Bridget?’

  The little dog wagged her tiny tail.

  ‘She loves it,’ Leanne said.

  Having fed the renamed Bridget and settled her in her new bed in the back seat, they drove the short distance to Windsor Castle car park and set off for a quick view of the famous castle, leaving the dog asleep in the back seat with the windows half-open.

  The castle proved to be even more incredible than the pictures in the guide book. As they walked through the state apartments admiring the grandeur and fine art, including paintings by Rembrandt, Rubens and Canaletto, Maddy felt an eerie sense of being in a parallel universe. This couldn’t be real, being here, walking through such beauty and history without a care in the world. She wondered if she really was dreaming and would wake up in her own bed on a dreary Monday morning with a full day of teaching surly teenage girls ahead of her. She glanced up at the ceiling soaring above them, at the gilt wood carvings and the faces in the portraits looking haughtily down at them, the sound of their footsteps on the marble floors echoing through the long galleries. It was difficult to take in all that had happened in the short space of two days. But here they were, looking at all the magnificence of the British Empire, which now seemed a lot more real than if she had seen it on TV.

  Leanne shivered beside her as they entered the Waterloo Chamber with its magnificent décor and rich furnishings. ‘Can you smell it?’ she whispered. ‘That kind of musty history smell of dried flowers and old books?’

  Maddy sniffed the air. ‘No. Well, maybe. Like all old places, I suppose. A whiff of the past.’

  ‘In this one, it’s especially strong. But I suppose my nose is extra sensitive.’

  ‘It is. I can’t smell half the things you do,’ Maddy said, realising Leanne’s sense of smell was highly unusual, scarily so. She could smell people a mile away and know exactly what soap they used or what they had had for lunch. She would know without looking that someone was eating an orange from a distance and smell cigarettes before anyone had even taken their first puff. It was a strange talent, if you could call it that, and had to be very difficult to live with. Imagine being assaulted by your senses all day long.

  ‘My nose will lead me to my dad,’ Leanne said.

  Maddy put her arm through Leanne’s. ‘Maybe it will also help me find who I’m looking for.’

  ‘If he smells good.’

  Maddy sighed. ‘As far as I remember, he smelt divine.’

  A pinging sound echoed through the vast room. Maddy checked her phone. A text from her father.

  Contract signed by other party through Docusign. They will send it to you to do the same. Love, Dad.

  Maddy showed the text to Leanne. ‘I presume you know what Docusign is.’

  ‘Yes. It’s electronic signing online. Very modern!’ Leanne smiled as she read the text. ‘Cool. Now all we have to do is sign it!’

  Maddy raised her right hand and they high-fived. They were on their way.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The trip on the ferry started off in calm waters, despite the promise of high winds later.

  ‘I have a tendency to get a little queasy in high seas,’ Maddy warned as they settled at a table in the dining room, Bridget at their feet.

  Leanne gazed out across the sea. ‘Looks pretty calm now. Maybe the weather report is wrong?’

  ‘I certainly hope so.’

  ‘Fingers crossed.’ Leanne picked up the menu. ‘What do you want? Maybe something light? I’m not that hungry. How about Caesar salad and toast?’

  ‘Sounds good. And a bottle of Dutch beer.’

  Their order arrived within minutes and they ate in companionable silence for a moment.

  Leanne finished her beer with a smile on her face. ‘Great stuff. But strong. You want another one?’

  Maddy shook her head. ‘No. I’m grand.’

  ‘Okay.’ Leanne leaned back and stared out the window across the blue-grey water. ‘This view reminds me of Norway. And my dad.’

  ‘Do you remember him clearly?’

  ‘Yes. He left when I was twelve. He was this tall, handsome hero-type to me. And he was fun and adventurous. Loved the great outdoors. We used to go on these lovely holidays in the west, just him and me. We went sailing and fishing.’ Leanne looked wistfully at Maddy. ‘If –I mean when – I meet him again, I’m not sure how I’ll feel. He left and never came back. Mam made it sound as if he deserted us. But maybe there’s more to it than that? Maybe there was some reason why he walked out and didn’t keep in touch? That’s what I want to find out.’

  ‘You’re willing to give him the benefit of doubt, then?’

  Leanne nodded. ‘Yes, of course. Wouldn’t you?’

  ‘If it were my dad, yes,’ Maddy replied after a moment’s hesitation. ‘But not—’

  ‘But not in the case of that guy who didn’t keep his promise?’ Leanne filled in. ‘I’m guessing now, but isn’t that what happened?’

  ‘Yes. Something like that. We parted on the promise of him contacting me when he came to Dublin. But I never heard from him again. I want to know why.’

  ‘Could make you sad though,’ Leanne remarked. ‘The truth often hurts. And then what good would it do? I mean if you could live your life again, would you change anything? Would you not have married Mr Golf Pants, stayed single and waited for the French lover to appear again, even if it took years?’

  ‘But then I wouldn’t have my children,’ Maddy argued. ‘No. I don’t think I’d change much. Except perhaps…’ She thought
for a moment. Was the failure of her marriage her fault? Or Tom’s? Or just a series of circumstances and misunderstandings? ‘It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of why Tom and I seem to be drifting apart, as the saying goes,’ she remarked. ‘But maybe some of it is because I always had this regret – this kind of wishful thinking about Ludo and what could have been. There’s a part of me I never shared with Tom. A part that only Ludo has seen.’ She sighed and stared out the window, trying to focus on the present. ‘There are more waves now.’

  Leanne nodded. ‘Yes. It’s getting a little rocky too. But I like it.’

  ‘I don’t.’ Maddy rose unsteadily. ‘I’m going to go to bed before it gets worse. Will you mind Bridget?’

  Leanne looked at her with concern. ‘Of course. Do you have seasick tablets?’

  ‘In my bag. Might be too late though,’ Maddy said and stumbled to her cabin, where she collapsed on her bunk and fell asleep.

  * * *

  Amsterdam on a June morning was enchanting. The water in the canals reflected the sunlight in glittering waves, and the façades of the narrow old houses glowed with vivid colours. Flowerpots crammed with petunias, geraniums and roses hung from the railings of the humpback bridges, under which floated a procession of quaint barges. Maddy had imagined a seedy town full of sex shops and dodgy cafés selling drugs, but she was pleasantly surprised by the intricate canals and beautiful architecture. Everywhere she looked, people were cycling across the cobblestones, having coffee outside picturesque restaurants or queuing to visit museums and art galleries. Leanne had booked rooms for them at a boutique hotel overlooking the beautiful Herengracht Canal, where they had thought of every comfort, even a water bowl and a cushion on the floor for Bridget in Leanne’s room.

  ‘That’s what I call service.’ Leanne bounced on the large bed. ‘Very comfy. I bet yours is as well.’

  It was. Once settled in, Maddy lay back on top of the bed in her room, looking up at the ceiling with its cornices painted lime green and the brass chandelier. Her gaze drifted to the large window, through which she could glimpse a bridge across the canal crammed with barges and smaller rowing boats. A cool breeze laden with coffee and cinnamon buns drifted in, making Maddy feel surprisingly hungry. It was lovely to relax after the rough seas that had made her more than a little seasick. She hadn’t been able to appreciate the plush cabin on the ferry, the nice dining room and the gourmet food on offer like Leanne, who had stuck her head in later that night and, when she saw Maddy’s green face, just said, ‘Ugh, don’t move. Scream if you need me.’ There was no screaming, however, just a lot of heaving, ending with her dinner in the toilet followed by fitful sleep and a splitting headache.

  Leanne, having what she called ‘Scandinavian sea legs’, had enjoyed all the perks of first class and emerged glowing from her cabin with Bridget under her arm the next morning. ‘You have no idea what a great fashion accessory a little doggy can be,’ she declared. ‘And what a magnet it is, especially when it comes to hunky men. Last night, I was chatted up by this gorgeous Dutchman, and we had a nice little flirt until his wife arrived. That put an end to the fun. Talk about a battle-axe in blonde clothing.’

  Maddy had to laugh despite her lingering nausea. ‘I can imagine. Pity he was married.’

  Leanne shrugged. ‘Yeah. But that’s life. All the great men are usually taken.’ She produced her phone from her bag. ‘Hey, I have a bunch of photos I want to send off and a little bit of a blog post I wrote as our first effort. I’ll show it to you when we get to the hotel, and then we can tweak it a bit and get it off to the Women Now people.’

  ‘Oh, God, I’m not sure I feel strong enough to see it.’

  ‘What?’ Leanne squealed. ‘Are you chickening out already?’

  ‘No,’ Maddy said. ‘I’m just a little apprehensive. I’m sure it’ll be great.’

  ‘You bet your butt,’ Leanne said. ‘You’ll love it. I swear.’

  * * *

  In her hotel room, Maddy closed her eyes and drifted off, happy to be on dry land and on a bed that wasn’t moving. But she only managed a few minutes’ snooze before Leanne knocked on the door. Maddy got up, wobbled across the soft carpet and let her in, scooping Bridget into her arms. ‘My turn for cuddles.’

  ‘Yes, sure. Be my guest.’ Leanne sat down on the sofa by the window and took out a small travel laptop from her tote. ‘Here, take a look. Our first post. The champagne reception with the celebs.’

  Maddy sat down beside her, Bridget on her lap. Bubbly with the Best, she read. ‘Great title.’

  How about this for a fun evening in the Cotswolds? it continued.

  Accidentally landing at a stately home in pouring rain and ending up as serving staff to the rich and famous. We parked the car and rang the bell to ask where we were. But before we knew what was happening, the hostess with the mostest, a real lady of the manor, pulled us in and dolled us up in waitress gear serving trays of caviar and champagne to none other than Hugh Grant and Jeremy Clarkson, as you can see by the photos taken by Joanna Trollope, queen of the Aga sagas. We kept pinching each other, but nothing happened, so it was real and true. Afterwards, we met Sir Horace. Yes, a real live sir, who thanked us for being more fun than any real waitresses they had ever had. He was happy to be included in our selfie, as you can see. What a guy! A good time was had by all, especially us.

  A great way to kick-start our Great Euroscape. Next stop Amsterdam. Who knows what will happen there. Stay tuned! Love and kisses from Leanne, Maddy and our new mascot, a poodle called Bridget.

  P.S. All proceeds of the blog will go to the Simon Community for the Homeless in Dublin, and Oxfam.

  The photos under the post were of the two of them setting off from Dublin, taken by Tom with Leanne’s phone, followed by Leanne in her Victoria’s Secret underwear. Then the photos taken at the party in the Cotswolds, one of the two of them at Windsor and finally a cute shot of Bridget in the front seat of the car.

  Maddy laughed and handed the laptop back. ‘Love it. The photos are great.’

  ‘Glad you liked it. I thought we’d skip the ferry crossing. Not much fun to show you puking or me trying to deal with a pissed-off Dutch blonde.’

  ‘Could add a touch of realism, though.’

  ‘Who wants realism? We’re living the dream,’ Leanne declared.

  ‘Lucky we got Bridget through all the controls at the ferry port.’ Maddy sighed.

  ‘They were more interested in her than us.’ Leanne got up. ‘Let’s hit the town. I’ve already booked us a trip on the canals.’

  Maddy glared at her. ‘Are you mad? I don’t want to go on another boat trip for at least twenty years.’

  Leanne plopped down on the sofa again, scaring Bridget, who jumped up and started to bark. ‘So, what the feck do you want to do, then? We can’t stay all day in this hole.’

  ‘A four-star hotel like this is a hole now?’ Maddy said hotly. ‘Jesus, you’re getting awfully spoilt.’

  Leanne grinned. ‘I only said that to get a rise out of you. You were looking so pale and wan. And it worked. Look at you… all red-faced and excited.’

  ‘Ha, ha.’ Maddy twiddled Bridget’s ear, racking her brain for ideas. ‘Okay. Don’t scream, but I want to see the Rembrandthuis, otherwise known as Rembrandt’s—’

  ‘—house,’ Leanne cut in. ‘Okay. Fine. Not a bad idea. Then I get to pick the next thing. I want to go and see NEMO. Fantastic museum, or exhibition, or – gosh – I don’t know what to call it.’

  Excited, Maddy nodded. ‘Yeah, yeah I know. It’s a kind of living museum on top of the entrance to the IJ Tunnel. Slanted-roof green-copper building, almost surrounded by water, right? I think I’ve seen pictures of it.’

  ‘That’s right. Its rooftop square has great views and water- and wind-operated hands-on exhibits. Inside, everything is interactive, with three floors of investigative mayhem. You can lift yourself up via a pulley, make bubbles, build structures, divide light into colours, race your shadow and
all of that. Something you’ll love if you’re into physics.’

  ‘Or a teenager. Sounds fun,’ Maddy agreed. ‘That’ll be your treat. But then I want to go to a restaurant called Greetje for lunch. Typical Dutch food, I’ve heard.’

  Leanne rolled her eyes. ‘And you were puking your guts out only a few hours ago. But if that’s what you want, let’s do it. After that I want to go to Micropia.’

  ‘What’s that?’ Maddy waved her hand. ‘No, don’t tell me. Something to do with bacteria?’

  Leanne grinned. ‘Yes. Absolutely fascinating. But you’ll never want to go into a bathroom again.’

  Maddy made a face. ‘I think I’ll give that one a miss. I’ll take Bridget for a walk, instead. All around the canals. How’s that, sweetheart?’ She kissed the little dog on top of her head.

  ‘That’s all sorted, then,’ Leanne said. ‘All we have to do is find a fun place for drinks and dinner. Not too much booze, though. Makes one look like a floozy in photos,’ she added, with a cheeky grin.

  ‘That’s very true. Especially at my age.’ Maddy looked for her phone and found it on the bed. ‘I’ll look up the Lonely Planet. They have the best tips.’

  ‘Okay. Then let’s get going.’

  After a bit of scrolling, Maddy found the perfect dinner venue. ‘Here it is! Right in the middle of the red-light district. D'Vijff Vlieghen. Means the five flies, apparently. Lots of character with Delft blue tiles and work by Rembrandt. More Dutch food but we can just take a nibble. Looks amazing.’

  Leanne looked doubtful. ‘In the red-light district?’

  ‘Yeah, but I’m sure that has become very touristy. In any case we don’t look like Dutch hookers, do we?’

  ‘What exactly do they look like?’

  Maddy shrugged. ‘Who knows? But we’ll be fine if we stick together.’

  ‘This is one of those very rare moments in life when I wish I had a man to escort me,’ Leanne muttered.

 

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