“You are my hero!” she cried, swinging back toward him.
“I aim to please,” he said, loving what Ally had said and realizing that he actually meant his reply. To see the joy on Ally’s face gave him an unexpected pleasure. “No strings attached.”
Well, maybe a couple of strings, he amended to himself. He wanted the whole package—mother, baby and all—and he’d do whatever it took to get it.
Ally tiptoed up to the rocker, stopped in front of it and gazed at it again. Then she walked all around the chair, eyeing it from every angle. “It’s perfect,” she breathed, as she ran her hands tentatively over the smooth, white back.
“Maybe you should try it out,” Danny suggested. He needed to see Ally sitting there. He wanted to imagine their child at her breast.
“Should I?” Ally asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Danny urged. “I gotta see the full effect.”
Ally pranced around to the front of the chair and plopped onto the seat. She wriggled her bottom around on the cushion until she was comfortable, then leaned back and rocked. “This is heaven,” she said, her voice dreamy.
“Yes, it is,” Danny agreed, not trying to hide the huskiness in his voice. And she was an angel, he thought. “Let me clean up this mess and then I’ll get out of your way.” If he didn’t leave now, he might push her too hard and set his campaign to win her three steps back. He’d already pressed his luck with the blurted proposal. Still, she hadn’t kicked him out.
Danny found his discarded shirt, pulled it over his head, then quickly gathered up the empty paint cans and drop cloths and hurried outside.
By the time he returned, Ally had fallen asleep in the chair.
“Ally,” he called softly. “Ally, get up and put yourself to bed.”
Looking like a sleeping child, Ally moaned and snuggled deeper into the chair.
“Ally,” he said again, gently shaking her shoulder. “It’s almost midnight. Time for bed.”
She shrugged herself away from his touch. “No, too tired,” she murmured sleepily.
Not wanting to wake her, and being a man of action anyway, Danny just scooped her up into his arms. As he adjusted her against him, Ally snuggled closer and murmured something that he couldn’t quite understand but that sounded sweet and sexy, like sensual music to his ears. He carried her across the hall and into her bedroom. There, he placed her carefully on her bed and removed her slippers from her feet. Then he drew the comforter up to cover her and backed quietly away.
If she woke up in the middle of the night, she could get herself undressed the rest of the way—even though he would have been happy to help her with that particular task…
Danny started to shut the door, but paused in the doorway to watch her sleep. Unable to resist, he tip-toed back to the bed and kissed her tenderly on the top of her dark, silken head. “I love you, Ally,” he whispered, tucking the quilt more tightly around her.
Then he turned, switched off the light and let himself out, locking the front door behind him.
He wished he didn’t have to drive all the way back to the VAQ, but he had no choice. He was not going to take anything from Ally that she didn’t offer.
SNUGGLED DEEP in the comforter on top of her spread, Ally awoke as the sun peeked through her bedroom window. She was still dressed in the clothes she’d been wearing the previous night, and for a moment, she couldn’t imagine how she’d gotten there and why she hadn’t put on her nightgown. Then she remembered Danny and the wonderful, surprising gift he’d given her. Smiling with sleepy pleasure, she lay swathed in her warm, quilted cocoon and relived the events of last night.
Oh, how she loved that man! And she smiled as she remembered his impromptu proposal. If only they could come to a meeting of the minds about that one deal breaker in their relationship, then her life would be perfect.
She pushed herself up out of the covers, found her slippers and put them on. Then she crossed the hall to the baby’s room.
In all the months since she and Danny had made love in that hotel room in Florida, she hadn’t really thought about being a mom. She had only dealt with her pregnancy one day at a time. She had concentrated so much on just getting through the pregnancy alone that she really hadn’t considered the outcome. Maybe that was why she hadn’t really begun to prepare for the baby.
Maybe that was why, by the time Danny arrived, she hadn’t so much as started to buy maternity clothes, much less anything for the baby. She shook her head as she gazed at the cheerfully painted room and the comfortable rocker. She needed Danny in her life more than she was willing to admit.
Not because she wasn’t able to provide for herself and her baby—she certainly had enough income for that—but because he would make their family complete. As an only child, she knew so little about children and family dynamics, and she no longer had her own parents to learn from.
She sank onto the rocking chair and leaned back. Still, until she and Danny could agree on what part she would play in any relationship they might have, they couldn’t have a life together.
Feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the amazing yet frightening journey ahead of her, she rocked herself slowly and cried.
DANNY SLEPT LATE. He’d worked hard at Ally’s last night, and then he’d stopped off for a late-night drink to settle his heightened emotions.
He hadn’t realized until he’d left Ally last night just how stressful it always was trying to keep from saying things that would upset her. That was why he’d stopped for that beer. One had been enough; in the old days, he would have closed the bar.
Still, his mind had been in such turmoil that he hadn’t been able to get to sleep until the wee hours. Right after he’d heard Jake, who was billeted in the room next door, stumble in and run water in the shared bathroom between their rooms. Even Jake didn’t normally stay out that late. Danny wondered what was up.
Late night or not, Danny needed a shower. He had washed up when he came in, but he’d been too tired to really scrub, so he hadn’t gotten all the paint off. He closed the door between the bathroom and Jake’s room and turned on the water.
Before he’d even unscrewed the shampoo bottle open, Danny heard the connecting door open. “Jake? You couldn’t wait until I was done? Have a heart.”
“Can it, Murphey. I thought you might not have heard the bad news.”
“Oh, hell,” Danny muttered, putting the shampoo down and turning off the spray. He didn’t like the sound of that. Reaching for a towel, he steeled himself for what Jake was going to say. It could only mean one thing. “Who?”
“Nate Hughes,” Jake said. “He was on a recon mission, and the team ran into some insurgents. Lee Shoemaker lost a leg, too.”
The news hit Danny with the force of a mortar shot. He bit back a curse. He had gone to combat control school with Nate and air-traffic control school with Lee. He’d been to Nate’s wedding.
“Does Lisa know?” he asked as he stepped out of the tub.
Jake shrugged. “She’s probably had the official word by now. We wouldn’t have heard unless it was public knowledge. The mission went sour a couple of days ago.”
He had been so wrapped up with Ally and their baby-to-be that he hadn’t checked his e-mail or touched base with the squadron. Obviously, Jake had. “Will there be a service?”
“No doubt. Just don’t know where or when yet.”
“Probably Travis Air Force Base,” Danny figured. “That’s where Nate was attached before he was deployed. Don’t guess there’s much hope of us being able to make it out to California while we’re tied up with this ops course.”
“Not a chance in hell,” Jake agreed. “But it doesn’t mean we can’t hoist a few in memoriam.”
“I heard that,” Danny said.
Forgetting about the paint, he dressed in his jogging clothes and went out for a run. It was too early to start drinking now, and he had to do something.
Sometimes, wearing yourself out on the track was the only way to forget
the pain.
Even if only temporarily.
SHE SUPPOSED it was because of Jake’s efforts, but this morning Ally, too, had suddenly felt the urge to prepare for the baby. She had been finding it more and more difficult to squeeze into her work clothes, so she’d decided it was high time she invested in some maternity wear. At least for work. She could continue to make do with the comfortable old clothes she’d been wearing at home.
Now, the back seat of her car laden with shopping bags, Ally, dressed in a new maternity outfit right out of the store, pulled up to her house, feeling pleased with her purchases. She was startled to discover someone waiting on her front stoop.
It was Danny who half sat, half sprawled on her welcome mat, his back against the door.
“What is he doing here?” Ally halted the car in front of the closed garage door and turned off the engine.
She beeped the horn, hoping that he’d come and help her carry her purchases inside, but he barely stirred at the sound.
What’s the matter with that man? Ally wondered, annoyed that she’d have to carry her parcels up to the front of the house rather than drive into her garage. She’d have to go via the front door to let him in. But why was he still there? Was he trying to prove a point by making her do it herself?
Fretting about why Danny was ignoring her, Ally gathered up some of the bags and hurried up the walk.
Danny didn’t budge.
Ally dropped her packages and nudged him with her foot. What could he have done last night after he’d gone that had left him so tired today? She shook his shoulder, and then she knew. The sour smell of alcohol hung heavy in the air around him.
She nudged him again, this time not trying to be gentle. “What do you think you’re doing at my door drunk at three in the afternoon?” she demanded, not expecting an answer.
That last kick must have done it, because Danny stirred. “Ally? Izzat you?” he asked, slurring his words.
“Yes, it’s me, Danny,” Ally said through clenched teeth. “Get up. The neighbors will see you.”
Danny pushed himself slowly to his feet, reaching for Ally, but when she stepped away, he grabbed on to the door frame for support. “Glad you’re here, Alli-shon,” he said sloppily as he lolled against the door.
Ally shoved him out of the way and unlocked the door. She was torn over whether to send him away or take him in and sober him up.
Option two won.
She gestured inside with a curt jerk of her head.
“How did you get here?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
“Tak-shee cab,” he mumbled, looping his arm over her shoulder and stumbling in with her.
Ally should have known. The military had taken a strong stand on drinking and driving in recent years, and Danny had apparently learned well. He was, after all, a good sergeant, even if he was pig-headed.
“We needa talk,” he said thickly, appearing more like an unshaven good ol’boy than the sharp sergeant she knew him to be.
Ally shrugged out of his grasp, leaving him, swaying sloppily, in the middle of the floor. “Fine, Danny. We’ll talk, but not until you’re sober.”
Danny looked at her, one eye open, the other closed. “‘Kay.” He lurched toward the couch. “Jus’ take a lil nap,” he said, and stumbled over the coffee table, landing awkwardly on the sofa.
“I do not need this,” Ally told herself as she helped him settle onto the couch. “Go to sleep.”
“Need a ni’ ni’ kiss,” he insisted, puckering.
Ally backed away. “No way, lover boy.” It was all she could do to keep from gagging from the stench of the alcohol on his breath. Her stomach was still touchy after all. “When you wake up, we’ll talk.”
She had a thing or two to settle with him, and she wasn’t certain that kissing would ever be part of the equation again.
Not until she was certain this scene wasn’t part of a pattern that might be repeated.
SOMEBODY WAS HITTING HIM on the head with a sledge-hammer, Danny thought with certainty as he reached up to defend himself. Then he realized that nobody was there. Not only did his body ache as though a speeding Humvee had run him over and dragged him a mile or two, but his stomach didn’t feel so hot.
He tried to open his eyes, but the overhead light speared them like a bayonet. He slammed them shut again, and peeked out through the tiniest slit from the one eye he could manage to open. Where was he?
The place looked familiar, he thought. Oh, yeah, Ally’s house. What was he doing here?
Then he remembered, and a shard of pain and sadness stabbed his heart. Nate was dead.
A man as young and healthy and strong as he was had died. Lisa was a widow. She had a baby to raise and nobody to take care of her.
Poor Lisa. Poor baby.
Danny struggled to get up, but his head weighed a ton, and he groaned as he got himself upright.
“Glad to see you’ve returned to the living,” Ally said from somewhere behind him.
Danny turned to see her staring daggers at him from the kitchen door, her hands on her hips.
“How did I get here?” he mumbled.
“You tell me,” Ally countered, her tone accusing. “I found you on my doorstep when I got home from shopping. You were out drinking all night, I see.”
Slowly, it began filtering back to him. “Nope. Didn’t start till lunch,” he said with certainty. Actually, it was lunchtime. He hadn’t had breakfast, he realized. Maybe if he had some food in his stomach, he might not feel as though he was in the third stage of death right now. “You got some crackers?” Anything to settle his churning stomach.
Ally pivoted so quickly that just watching the motion made him dizzy. “Don’t do that,” Danny protested feebly.
She came back with a plate of crackers and something dark and bubbly in a glass. “Here,” she said as she thrust them toward him. “Don’t think I’m going to make a habit of this.”
Danny just looked at her, puzzled. He reached shakily for a cracker and raised it to his mouth. Please let this work, please let this work, he prayed as he chewed slowly.
Ally sat across the room, her forearms resting on the arms of her chair, fingers drumming impatiently.
God, that was loud.
“Could you please stop that?”
Ally did, but she clenched the armrests so tightly that her knuckles were white. If that didn’t tell him her state of mind, the accusation in her eyes did.
He had to down all the crackers and half the soda to settle his stomach, but finally, he felt half human. Neanderthal, maybe. But then he’d have a long way to go to make it to Cro-Magnon. Danny took another sip of the cola and carefully swallowed it. It stayed down, so he swallowed the rest of the drink in one long gulp.
He didn’t feel great, but he was alive. Danny looked over at Ally, who was still staring at him as if he were something she’d scraped off the bottom of her shoe. “I’m sorry, Ally,” he said simply, truly meaning it.
“For what?” she queried. “For getting drunk? Or putting me in the middle of it?”
Danny shook his head. Damn, that hurt. Hell, he didn’t know. But he sure was sorry. Anybody would be this morning. No, it couldn’t be morning. He hadn’t started drinking till after his run. He thought again.
He’d had that first drink at noon. “What time is it?” he asked thickly.
“Seven o’clock,” she answered sharply. “You’ve wasted my entire afternoon.”
At least he hadn’t lost the day. He cleared his raspy throat. “I am sorry, Ally. More than you realize,” he croaked.
“Danny Murphey, I’m so angry with you right now I don’t know whether I can keep a civil tongue,” Ally said, unclenching her hands from their grip on the chair and folding her arms over her chest.
“Nate Hughes was killed.”
Ally gasped. She had met Nate a few times, a lifetime ago when she and Danny were dating.
“How?”
“Ambush. Lee Shoemaker lost
a leg.”
Ally covered her mouth with a trembling hand. She swallowed. Danny watched the convulsing movements in her throat and wished he hadn’t had to tell her.
“I heard about an ambush on the news, but I didn’t make the connection. I didn’t ever catch the names,” she said.
“Yeah. I heard about it, too, but didn’t get the full story. Jake got an e-mail from one of the guys back at Hurby with most of the details. Not that it’s gonna do much good now.” He swallowed.
“We aren’t gonna make the memorial service, so we had one of our own.”
Ally seemed to want to say something. She drew in a quick breath but then she shut her mouth.
“Nate was married. I was at his wedding. He and Lisa have a little boy.” He stopped. Nate didn’t have a little boy or a wife. Nate was gone. He had nothing.
And Lisa had no one to take care of her and her son. Little Will would grow up without a father. Lisa and Will were alone.
Maybe, Danny thought, Ally would be better off without him. Then, at least, she would never have to face that kind of loss.
“I’m so mixed up, Ally,” Danny whispered. “My head hurts, my brain hurts…my heart hurts.” Danny watched her, trying to gauge her feelings. “I need you, Ally. I need you so much.”
It happened so quickly that he wasn’t sure how it happened. Ally was there. She gathered him into her arms and whispered. “I understand, Danny. I really do. We’ll figure it out together. We’ll figure out what to do.”
Danny wasn’t sure whether she was talking about his pain or their dilemma, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that he was with her, that she was holding him in her arms.
Chapter Nine
Lord, she had missed this man, Ally thought as she held Danny close to her breast. Even with the odor of stale alcohol still lingering around him, even with rusty, five o’clock shadow smudging his handsome cheeks, he was still the man she had so completely and hopelessly lost her heart to almost three years ago.
She had struggled to forget him during the years they were apart, but the truth was, Danny Murphey was the man for her.
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