by Tee O'Fallon
I’m in deep, deep shit here.
The last thing he should be doing right in the middle of the most dangerous op of his life was falling in love. But part of him knew he’d already fallen. Hard. Even now, he couldn’t quite wrap his brain around the concept. Every time he did he was assailed by visions of Anika’s bloody remains. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, willing the gut-wrenching images to leave his head and stop haunting him once and for all. He guessed it was a form of PTSD. The pain had followed him from Afghanistan and tormented him for fifteen fucking years. It was time to let the past go.
But will it let go of me?
He honestly didn’t know.
Daisy uttered a soft sigh, and as her hand slipped down his chest to his groin, his cock jerked awake, and he couldn’t wait to get inside her again. Being here with her, talking, then making love to her had been life altering. It was as if he was meant to be here. With her. But he’d crossed a major line. Things had irrevocably changed between them, and he couldn’t lie to her any longer. The time had come to tell her everything.
He watched her back rise and fall evenly, and he was at peace. One beautiful, transient, oasis that wouldn’t last.
“What time is it?” she mumbled against his chest.
He kissed the top of her head as if it was the most natural thing to do. “Just after ten.”
When she pushed herself off him, he cupped the back of her head and pulled her down for a slow, hot kiss. God, he loved kissing her. Really, he loved everything about her. She pulled back to look at him, and he couldn’t stop staring into her whiskey-colored eyes. “You’re unbelievably sexy.” To prove his point, he cupped her large breasts in his hands, massaging and kneading her soft flesh.
“Mmm.” She closed her eyes and covered his hands with hers while he played with her nipples until they were as hard as pebbles. “That feels nice.”
Dom’s stomach growled, a low, muffled sound. Then it grumbled so loudly they both laughed. “Aside from cake, I never got around to eating dinner.”
“I’d be happy to feed you.”
She rolled away, and before she disappeared out the bedroom door, his eyes feasted on her breasts jiggling and bobbing as she strode from the room buck naked. He couldn’t wait to get his hands and mouth on her body again, especially the perfect globes of her breasts.
With that thought in mind, he went to the bathroom to clean up, then dug another condom from his wallet. He tossed it onto the bedside table and settled back onto the mattress.
He heard clinking silverware, and a minute later she returned carrying a plate with an enormous piece of triple-chocolate mousse cake and two forks in one hand and a tall glass of milk in the other that she set on the table.
“I hope you don’t mind more cake.” She waited while he pushed himself up higher on the bed, then she stuffed a pillow behind his head and straddled him. Grinning, she scooped a large piece of cake onto the fork. “I’m going to help you get your energy back.”
He grimaced when she wriggled to readjust herself, her slippery folds fitting perfectly over his semi-erect cock. As she held out the fork he quickly began to harden beneath her. Their eyes met, and he opened his mouth and let her feed him. Not even the intensely rich chocolate mousse and frosting hitting his taste buds could derail his single-minded brain from repeating the same message over and over: get inside her before I explode.
But she wanted to feed him, and right now he’d let her do just about anything to him that she wanted. She fed him another bite, then he picked up the other fork and did the same for her. When she swallowed and tilted her head back, moaning, he hardened even more and had to grit his teeth to keep from grabbing her by her hips and impaling her.
He put another piece of cake on the fork, this one overflowing with frosting and mousse. As he held it out to her a giant gob of frosting slipped off, tumbling to land on her breast.
“Oops.” She moved her hand to wipe away the chocolate, and he grabbed her wrist.
“I have a better idea.” He grinned, then leaned in and licked away the frosting with his tongue. When she gasped, he leaned in again and sucked her nipple into his mouth, licking until it glistened and pebbled even harder. “This is my new favorite way to eat cake.”
Taking the plate from her hands, he dug his fingers into the cake and dabbed generous amounts of frosting and mousse onto both her breasts. He set the plate onto the bedside table, then dipped his head and sucked her other nipple into his mouth.
“Oh my God.” Daisy groaned and began rocking back and forth over his erection as he swiped repeatedly at her breast with his tongue.
When he’d finished with one, he gave the other identical treatment. Then he grabbed the condom from the table and probably broke a world’s record sheathing himself. Daisy rested her hands on his shoulders, and he gripped her hips and raised her above him, lowering her onto him, slowly, inch by inch.
Blood rocketed from his balls to the tip of his cock, and it was all he could do not to come in two seconds. As he breathed harder, her sexy floral scent was all around him, and right at this moment there was nothing else in his world. Except her.
With his hands at her hips, raising and lowering her, their bodies slapped together, faster and faster. Her breath came in rasps, as did his. The tips of her nails dug into his shoulders, and he knew she was on the edge. He was ready to explode, but he wanted her to get there first. Pleasuring her was the most important thing.
Soft moans came from her sweet lips, and he held her down, pumping upward, kissing her deeply. Their mouths came apart, and she cried out as the orgasm ripped through her. Dom waited until he was certain she’d experienced everything he had to give her, then he let himself go, pressing his mouth to her neck and coming with such force he was certain he’d bust a hole through the condom.
Unexpectedly, the thought didn’t scare the shit out of him. If Daisy wound up pregnant, he could live with it. Because it would be a child he and Daisy created out of—
The blood in his veins seemed to stop pumping. There it was, front and center, obliterating everything else clouding his thoughts.
Love.
He held her to him, his chest heaving alongside hers. Her breath was hot against his face, her long, thick hair flowing against his arm. “You okay?” he asked.
“Never better,” she gasped between breaths.
With their chests pressed together, he felt both their hearts beating furiously until they began to slow to a normal rhythm. He tucked her head against his chest, then rolled them both onto their sides to face each other.
“Hey.” He caressed her chin with his thumb and forefinger, then tipped her head up to look at him. “Aren’t you glad you didn’t throw me out of your apartment?”
“I wanted to.” She pursed her lips into an adorable pout. “But you brought triple-chocolate mousse cake.”
“So that’s the way to your heart?” He chuckled, thoroughly enjoying her playfulness.
“Not entirely.” She grinned devilishly as her hand slipped down his chest to skim over his cock and fondle his balls.
His balls instantly went hard, but he clasped her hand and brought it to his lips. As much as he could go for another round, he needed to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that his coming over to her place tonight wasn’t about sex. That, and he couldn’t dismiss his theory that something was gnawing away at her.
Yesterday, when she’d learned her best friend was pregnant, there’d been sincere joy in her tone but after, there’d been sadness. And earlier today, when he’d caught her staring at the photo of her parents, the pained look on her face made him want to do anything to take it away.
“I know how difficult it is to talk about the heavy shit, but if you don’t it will haunt you forever. That comes from personal experience.”
She averted her gaze, as if she already knew where this was leading. When she started to get up, he gently tugged her back to the bed. “Talk to me,” he said softly.
“
About what?” A frown line etched between her brows.
“About what made you so upset today.”
“How do you know I was upset?”
“When it comes to hiding baggage, I’m an expert. Seems like we both are.” When a reluctant smile tugged at her lips he knew he was starting to get through to her. “C’mon. After I gave it up to you, I felt better.” That was the God’s truth. Guess he’d needed the right person to do that, and she was the right person. After all these years, not even Gray’s prodding had managed to dig that out of him.
She stared at him, and he could practically see the battle going on inside her head. Whatever painful baggage she carried around must be so deeply embedded that holding it all in had become second nature. He knew this because he’d lived it, and he was determined to help her fight her battle. War and battles he was good at.
Daisy shifted on her side to face him and then tugged the sheet up to cover them both. Her eyes were troubled. “My parents died in a train crash.” She paused but held his gaze. “On my eleventh birthday.”
At a momentary loss for words, he shook his head in disbelief. “The hell you must have gone through. No wonder you don’t celebrate your birthday.”
“Yeah.” She gave a slight nod. “A lot of girls that age begin to distance themselves from their parents, but not me. I loved being around them, and when they weren’t there any longer, I felt totally lost and alone. I didn’t know where I belonged anymore.”
When she took a deep, shuddering breath his heart ached for her and for the lonely orphaned girl she’d once been. He caressed her cheek, urging her to continue.
“My mother was from Scotland and didn’t have any immediate family. My father was a blueblood from Philly. Part of the Van Rensler clan.”
Dom immediately recognized the name. He’d been tracking down a witness in Philly and recalled passing by a large building associated with a university. The building had been named Van Rensler Hall. She wasn’t kidding. Her family really was blueblood.
“My mother was a simple woman, a botanist by training and the best florist in all of Philly. Everyone loved her.” For a moment her eyes welled up, but she sniffled and blinked away the wetness. “Any marriage to a non-blueblood was beneath the high standards of the Van Rensler tradition. When my father eloped and married my mother, his father—my grandfather—was enraged.”
Her lips compressed, and she twisted the sheet in her fist. “He all but disowned my father and wanted nothing to do with me or my mother. Of course, I never knew any of this until after my parents died.”
Dom frowned and rubbed her shoulder. He had a bad feeling where this story was going. Her eyes flashed with anger before she continued.
“Initially I was forced to live with my grandparents. I think the only reason they let me in the front door of that mausoleum of a house was to keep up appearances for the press. God forbid it ever got out that the Van Renslers didn’t want their orphaned granddaughter. But they let me know it every day. I never saw them except at my parents’ funeral. Within a week after they were buried I was discreetly driven to live with a childless couple near Harrisburg and was given a different last name, to safeguard the high and mighty Van Rensler reputation.”
“Jesus Christ.” Dom clenched his jaw. How the fuck could they abandon their own granddaughter?
A single tear trickled down her temple, and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. The look of grief on her face about killed him, and if her grandparents were standing before him he’d—fuck. I’d kill them. “Are they still alive?”
She shook her head. “No, they were quite elderly back then.”
“What about other family? Aunts, uncles, cousins? Wasn’t there anyone else who would take you in?”
“I don’t really know.” She stared over his shoulder, her eyes blank. “I was whisked away so quickly after the funeral, even if someone else would have opened their doors for me they never got the chance. With my name change there’d be no way they could ever find me. And when I turned eighteen I changed my name again and legally took my mother’s maiden name: Fowler.”
“Did you ever try to look them up?”
“I never wanted to. At that point I wanted nothing to do with anyone from the Van Rensler clan. And I—” Her lower lip trembled. “I was afraid no one else in my family would want me, either.”
Tears flowed freely down her cheeks, and she let out a sob. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, then her mouth. He held her firmly against him while her body shook with more gut-wrenching sobs.
Now he understood. The woman he’d met a year ago was bubbly and gregarious, but it was all a facade to hide her pain and suffering. Her own damn family had done this to her. Fucking bastards.
He continued stroking and kissing the top of her head while she let out twenty years of grief. It amazed him how she’d turned her life around and managed to become the kind person and successful businesswoman that she was now. A true testament to her innate strength and courage.
Minutes later, she pulled away to swipe at her tears. Her eyes were red and glossy, filled with such sadness that it tore at his soul.
When he thought she was ready to go on, he threaded his fingers through hers and squeezed her hand. “What happened in Harrisburg?”
She let out a long sigh. “The couple I was with was kind, but I wasn’t really theirs and they weren’t really mine. I wanted my parents back, and they knew it. All I had left of them were a few photos, my mother’s jewelry, and some of my clothes.”
“That’s it?” He couldn’t hide the incredulity in his voice. “That’s all they gave you?” The more he heard, the more he wanted to track down every last one of her relatives and beat the shit out of them.
“Not exactly.” She met his gaze for the first time in several minutes. “I have a trust fund. My dad set it up for me before he and my mom died. Financial wizardry ran in the family, and it was probably the one good thing he inherited. The couple I was with knew about the fund but never tried to take it from me. Even if they had, they couldn’t. Dad set it up through an outside attorney—no one affiliated with the family—and it was ironclad. No one could touch it except me, and only when I turned eighteen. As soon as I did, I got a small apartment and used my trust fund sparingly to pay for essentials, like food and a roof over my head, until I could get a job.”
He gave her a half smile. “I’m guessing your first job was in the flower business?”
She nodded. “With the basic knowledge of flowers and horticulture I learned from my mother, I was able to get a job with a landscaper. Then I started taking botany and horticulture classes at night. I stayed with the landscaper for several years, learning the industry until I went into Manhattan one day and loved it.”
Dom was relieved at the renewed sparkle in her eyes.
“New York City has a life of its own, a vibrancy that doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world. So I moved to the city and got a job with a florist on Park Avenue. Flowers are my passion.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” He gave her a sarcastic grin and was rewarded with the tiny hint of a smile.
“Eventually, I tapped into my trust fund and bought a little shop of my own downtown. I got enough steady contracts with restaurants and a few small hotels that I needed to expand, so I bought a bigger place. The shop I own now.”
He shook his head in amazement. “You’ve made an incredible success from hard work and perseverance. And you did it alone.” To say he admired her was an understatement. After everything she’d been through. Abandonment. Starting out on her own with no family to help her through the difficult times. Like him, she’d been through hell and survived. Albeit a different kind of hell, but hell nonetheless.
“I guess.” She shrugged her shoulders.
He propped himself up on his elbow. “You are a special person.”
“I’m not.” She lowered her gaze. “But I want to do something special with most of my trust fund. My inco
me is comfortable enough that I haven’t tapped into it in so long I can’t remember. It’s been growing, earning boatloads of interest. It’s not doing me any good. I even tried giving or loaning some to Alex last year to get her business off the ground, but she wouldn’t take it.”
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “What do you want to do with it?”
A look of determination came over her. “Donate it to a children’s charity. I want to transform the ugliness of my past into something worthwhile in the future.”
Pride and even more admiration came to him as he gazed down at her. “I’d like to help you find the right place. If you’ll let me.”
She smiled, her eyes glistening. “I’d like that.”
“Have you ever heard of Lost Souls of New York?” Dom asked, and when she shook her head, he continued. “It’s a nonprofit organization that helps foster children get through difficult transitional situations.”
She smiled, nodding. “It sounds perfect.”
“How much do you want to donate?”
“Well”—she twisted her mouth, deep in thought—“ten million dollars.”
He lifted an eyebrow. Holy shit. Goes to show, money doesn’t buy happiness. But in Daisy’s case, giving it away might bring her some amount of joy. “That’s a helluva lot of money. You sure you want to part with all that?”
She nodded emphatically. “I used what I needed a long time ago. There are others who need it more.”
He wasn’t the mushy type, but if a man could actually feel his heart swell, he felt it now. Even if she never agreed with him, she truly was the most special person he’d ever met. Somehow, he’d always known that.
Helping children would be Daisy’s path to healing. He wanted nothing more than to make the pain of her past go away, but he knew he couldn’t do that. No one could. But he could be there for her now, using his body as a tool to make her feel cherished.
He slipped from the bed, grabbing another condom on the way to the bathroom. After discarding the used one, he quickly sheathed himself and returned to the bed. Tugging the sheet down their bodies, he rose over her, and she parted her thighs. He slid inside her, kissing her, rocking rhythmically until she tightened around him and came. A moment later, semen shot to the tip of his cock, and this time he was the one who cried out.