by Sophia Gray
Maya sighed and pushed her hair back from her forehead, yanking a little at the roots, using the pain to anchor herself to her body. She couldn’t afford to dissociate at the moment, not when Chuck was poised for the attack. “You’re acting like you own me or something, like you get to tell me what to do, what to feel, how to react. The whole reason…” She huffed her breath out again, summoning up the courage to finish her sentence. “The whole reason I started dating you was because you weren’t like this. You don’t control me. You let me live how I want. Why are you changing now?”
“Oh, that’s rich. That’s fucking rich,” Chuck said, beginning to pace back and forth across the hotel room, shaking his head at her. “You come here and play nicey-nice with your ex and I’m the bad guy? What the fucking shit is wrong with your brain, Maya, huh? What the hell went wrong that wired you to act this way? Because I’ll tell you what, it’s not normal. It’s not healthy. It’s not what I proposed to.”
“I don’t care if it’s what you proposed to or not,” Maya said, even though a little part of that statement was a lie. “It’s who I am, who I really am, when I’m not pretending to be a good girl.” The last two words stung her tongue, making her feel sick inside, like all of her organs were balling up, shrinking away from what she’d just said. The kidnapper’s words, haunting her like she was still tied up in that basement.
“What the fuck are you even talking about?” Chuck retorted, his face screwing up in confusion. He stepped forward, grabbing Maya’s shoulders and shaking her a little bit. “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell happened to you to make you this way?”
“You know the answer to that,” Maya whispered, feeling the shameful burn of tears begin to press at the backs of her eyes.
“Oh, please, don’t pull that card,” Chuck said, shaking his head at her. “You can’t just use that as an excuse every time we get into an argument!”
“It’s not an excuse!” Maya yelled. “It’s not a fucking excuse! It’s my fucking life!” Humiliatingly, she felt tears pool into her eyes, but she blinked them back, hopefully before Chuck could see them. “It’s a part of me, Chuck! A huge fucking part that will never go away no matter how hard you pretend otherwise.”
“Oh, I can’t deal with you right now. You’re being ridiculous,” Chuck said, rolling his eyes.
Maya shook her head at him. “Yeah? You can’t deal? Well, deal with this,” she challenged as she turned out her heel, heading for the door.
“Where are you going? Come back here! Don’t leave this hotel room, Maya!”
“I don’t want to deal with you right now,” Maya said, continuing to walk towards the door.
“Stop, Maya! Stop walking right now. Don’t you dare walk out that door.” Maya paused for a minute, her hand on the knob of the door. “You’re going to him, aren’t you? To Arsen?”
“I don’t know where I’m going,” Maya answered honestly, with her back still turned to Chuck.
“You better not, Maya. You better not see him ever again. You listening to me? I don’t want you working on that case. I don’t want you seeing him. He’s bad for you, you hear me? He’s fucking you up. He’s making you sick,” he said.
Maya scoffed, even though the words stung her like a shot to the back. “Whatever,” she muttered, opening the door and setting off down the highway at a brisk pace.
By the time she reached the elevator and got down to the first level of the hotel, her phone rang, making her jump. She didn’t know why she was so on edge, exactly, but she was exhausted of her own weakness. If there was ever a time that she needed to be strong, it was now.
She pulled out her phone. It was Arsen.
“Hello?” she answered into the phone as she walked out into the bitterly cold night, hugging her sweater closer to her chest to preserve as much of her body’s warmth as possible.
“Maya,” Arsen half-slurred into her ear. “Maya, I need you.”
“Are you drunk?” she asked. She could definitely detect the influence of alcohol on his speech. She knew him too well, still able to detect when he wasn’t completely sober.
“No, I took a nap. Just a little hung-over now,” he muttered on the other end of the phone.
“What’s up?” she asked, pacing quickly in an attempt to get her blood rushing faster, trying to get warmer despite the wind breaking against her face.
“The girls,” Arsen practically whispered before clearing his throat. “The girls,” he repeated. “They need us. We can’t give up. I know you’re getting married. I know you’re gone. Forever. But the girls…”
“I know,” Maya said, her voice coming out more reassuring and soft than she had intended. “I know. I’m not giving up. I was never going to give up. Do you really believe in me that little?”
Arsen laughed a little on the other end, but Maya could tell that it wasn’t genuine. “I know, I know,” he said. “I should trust you more. You’re tough. Toughest person I know.”
“I don’t know about that,” Maya muttered, thinking back on her argument with Chuck even as she got further away from the hotel.
“I do,” Arsen said softly, almost inaudibly under the howl of the wind in Maya’s ears.
“Listen, we should meet up,” Maya said. “Tonight. We have no time to waste. I’m sorry…I’m sorry about what happened before. With Chuck. It’s just something I had to deal with, but it’s a distraction, and it can wait. I’ll deal with him after we solve the case.”
“Alright,” Arsen agreed. “I’m at home. Do you want me to meet you anywhere?”
“No, I’ll head there now,” Maya said. “Go back to sleep. I’ll let myself in. You keep the spare key under the mat, right? I’ll be right in, like twenty minutes from now. Just nap, okay? You need it.” Especially after the fucking we did earlier, she added silently.
Arsen murmured something, but Maya couldn’t quite make it out. A second later, his breathing changed, deepening as he slipped off into sleep. Maya couldn’t suppress a slight smile as she lowered her phone back to her pocket, picturing Arsen’s peaceful face as he slept.
But less than a minute later, her phone rang again, tearing her out of her calming thoughts. Arsen must have woken up and not realized that she was still on the way, she figured, so she answered the call right away, without looking at the ID.
“Hello?” she said again, albeit a lot less patiently this time.
The voice on the other end of the phone was hoarse and low. She could barely make out the words as the man who spoke hissed, “You better back the fuck off, bitch.”
“What? Who’s this?”
“You know who this is,” the man said in his low, gravelly voice. “And you don’t want to meet me. Believe me. It wouldn’t be pretty. It never is for cunts like you.”
The line went dead before Maya could think of what to say in response. Her heart thudded in her chest, sending her blood coursing through her veins like it was trying to escape from her body. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered to herself, her fingers shaking as she looked through her recent call list only to find the number was blocked. That meant trying to reverse the call wouldn’t work. She’d have to have it traced. Maybe Arsen could help.
She didn’t know who just threatened her, but one thing was clear, it was the murderer, giving them their first solid lead since this entire investigation began.
Chapter Twenty-One
Arsen awoke violently, gasping for air as a pair of delicate, familiar hands furiously shook him.
“He called me,” Maya declared, continuing to shake Arsen awake even after he began to pry open his eyes. “Honey, he fucking called me. Wake up, wake up!”
“Who?” Arsen asked, sitting up in bed and blinking rapidly to adjust to the light that Maya had just switched on next to his bed.
“The fucking killer,” Maya responded, sitting down next to him and placing her hand on his shoulder. “His fucking voice was in my ear, Arsen.”
Arsen’s brain still took
several seconds to fully process what she said, but when it did, his entire body shook itself awake, all at once. “Shit. Shit, are you serious?”
Maya just nodded, a small smile spreading across her face, her eyes glinting like she’d just told him good news.
“Why are you…happy?” Arsen asked. He knew it wasn’t the most pertinent question at the moment, but somehow, it felt like the only one that really mattered.
“Because!” Maya practically shrieked, shaking Arsen by the shoulder. “He’s scared! He knows we’re after him, and he’s scared. That means we’re close. We scared him somehow, even if we don’t know how. He knows about us. That means we stumbled onto something that he didn’t want us to find. We have to keep looking, searching over everything we’ve got until we find what it is that he’s so scared of.”
“How do you know it was even him? It could have been one of those kids we intimidated, trying to freak you out for revenge.”
Maya shook her head. “No. It was him. I know it. I just know it. Trust me. The….way he talked to me. He hated me. It wasn’t just a little scuffle he was mad about. He was terrified and for good reason. I freaked him out somehow, and he needs me to back off. I fucking scared him!” She grinned and punched the air. Under different circumstances, Arsen would have been smiling right along with her, happy that she felt powerful. But instead, his stomach turned over, feeling sick like he’d eaten something poisonous. If it really was the murderer, how did he know how to contact her? How’d he get Maya’s number?
“Did you see a number on the caller ID?” Arsen asked, slowly shifting his legs around so he could sit with his feet on the floor rather than curled up under him on the bed.
Maya shook her head. “No, no, it’s blocked, of course. But I figured maybe your powerful connection could help you trace it, at least geographically. Maybe we could narrow down the specific area that he lives and eliminate various suspects that way.”
Arsen nodded. “Good idea. I’ll get on it right away. There’s a guy across town that’ll take care of it.” Arsen paused and cleared his throat, staring at Maya, who was practically giggling on his bed, a sight he’d love to see in virtually any other context. But right now, it sent chills down into his bones, making him physically shiver beside her. She doesn’t know how scared she should be, Arsen thought. She doesn’t know how bad this could be, even though she, more than anyone, should know how real the danger is.
“I’ll go with you,” Maya said, reaching down to take Arsen’s hand into her own, her pulse pounding against his wrist, so hard that he could feel it even through two layers of skin and sleeves. “I want to be there when you catch this fucker. For all of them.” For me, her eyes seemed to say, the darkness within hinting at the fear that she must have felt, despite her giddiness.
Arsen was tempted to argue with her. He really would have preferred that she stay put in the apartment where he knew she would be safe, but somehow, he knew that she wasn’t going to listen to him, at least not right now. “Well, let’s head back to the compound, then,” he said, getting to his feet and going over to his dresser to pull out a shirt to wear. “Take a change of clothes with you,” he instructed her, knowing that her bag full of supplies was still in the other bedroom. “We might be there a while.”
Maya rushed into the other room to do as she was told. “We’re going to get him,” she yelled over her shoulder, returning a minute later with an overstuffed purse under her arm. “Okay, let’s go.”
Arsen led them back across town to the Inked Hunters’ compound, where his contact Chris usually stayed. Arsen slipped into the side entrance of the compound rather than going through the front, wanting to avoid waking up any unnecessary people that could distract them from the matter at hand. He walked into Chris’s room without invitation or warning, allowing Maya to wait outside the door while he jostled his friend awake.
“Chris, come on, I’ve got a job for you to do,” Arsen said as he shook Chris by the shoulder.
“What the hell, man? Can’t it wait till morning?” Chris asked, stubbornly keeping his eyes closed even as Arsen switched on the light.
“No. No way. It’s got to be done as soon as possible. There’s no time to waste. It’s a location tracing job, Chris. You’re the only one that can help us.”
Chris sighed, slowly blinking his eyes open and grimacing at the brightness of the light beside his bed. “Jesus, okay. Fine. Just…give me a minute, alright?”
“Nope, come on,” Arsen said, pulling the blanket out from under Chris, despite the latter’s protests, practically dragging him out of the bed himself.
“Fine, fuck, fuck! Just let me get my gear together. Christ,” Chris said as he finally got to his feet, stumbling over to a desk filled with computers and advanced equipment that Arsen didn’t recognize or understand. Chris sighed as he pulled out a small laptop computer from inside of his desk, clicked it open, and typed in a complex password to unlock the screen. “Do you at least have the cell phone in question?”
“Yes,” Maya said, finally stepping into the room. “It’s mine. Here.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and placed it down on the desk next to Chris. “There you go.” If Arsen had any doubts that Maya meant business, they officially evaporated that moment. Back in the day, Maya used to never let him look at her phone, let alone hold it himself. He used to be suspicious that she had something going on the side, but he finally just realized that she was an incredibly private person. She guarded her space and personal property fiercely, probably as a result of the trauma she endured as a teenager. But she was willing to sacrifice it in an instant if it meant saving another girl.
“Alright, now leave me alone,” Chris said grumpily.
“What?” Maya asked incredulously.
Chris sighed again, deep and drawn-out, sounding about seventy years older than he actually was. “I can’t work well with people looking over my shoulder. Get out of the room and give me an hour, maybe two. I’ll get an approximate address for you, okay?”
Arsen could tell Maya was hesitant to leave Chris alone with such a crucial piece of evidence, but after he nodded at her, wordlessly telling her to trust his friend, she relented, backing out of the room and closing the door behind Arsen after he walked out.
They stood silently for several long moments, propped up against opposite walls, listening to Chris’s non-melodic humming from inside his bedroom. But there was something nagging at Arsen—actually, there were several things nagging at him, given the whole fiancé fiasco. But there was one thing in particular that he needed to say, even if it hurt to push the words out.
“I never talked to you about what you did earlier,” Arsen said, biting down on his bottom lip in nervousness.
“What did I do?” Maya asked, and judging from her tone, it was clear that she felt as anxious about this topic of conversation as Arsen did, which somehow helped him calm down a little bit.
“With the girl. Roxie. You…you did really well. I think I never really understood what it is you do before right then,” he said, referring to her victim advocacy work.
“Oh. Well, thank you,” Maya said a little stiffly, like she was uncomfortable or didn’t know what to say.
“Yeah,” Arsen said, thinking back to how he felt when he saw Maya grab the younger girl’s hands. “Yeah, it was really special, watching you do that.” He cleared his throat, suddenly overcome with emotion. “I was thinking, maybe Lizzie is looking down and sees this, you know? I guess I always thought that there was some part of her still hanging around, not moving on. And maybe she needed to hear what you said to Roxie today. Maybe then she could let go.”
Maya’s brow furrowed as she stared silently at Arsen for a long moment before finally speaking. “Maybe there’s another reason you think she’s still around. The diary.”
Arsen felt his body flush a little, heat rising up his chest and neck and face, but he stayed calm, even though it felt like he was being accused of a crime. Still, he let Maya continue.<
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“I know why you haven’t read it yet,” Maya explained slowly. “And it’s not because you want to respect your sister’s wishes. That’s not it.”
“What is it, then?” Arsen asked, but it came out more like a sigh than a question.
“It’s the last little bit of her on Earth,” Maya said softly. “You don’t want to read it because then…then there’s nothing left. There’s no mystery that she might say something else to you. That’ll be it. Forever. But as long as you don’t read it now, you can picture yourself reading it in the future, hearing from her one last time. It’s your lifeline, isn’t it? Waiting to hear from her again?”
“I never really thought of it that way, but you’re probably right,” Arsen said, picturing the way Lizzie used to hunch over her diary, hiding it from any prying eyes with her own body, guarding it with her life. It was as if it was her life, like it was her soul, being poured out onto paper. It was the one place where she still lingered on the planet, and somehow, Arsen figured that once he read it, she’d be gone for good. There was something selfish about that, trapping his sister here on Earth, where she’d been tortured and hurt and killed. But it was what Arsen needed more than anything, especially since he was alone now. He needed to have some part of Lizzie to hold onto so that he could go on being strong or at least pretending to himself that he was okay. He couldn’t lose both Maya and Lizzie. He simply wasn’t equipped to handle it, but it was going to happen no matter what.