Putting her head into her hands as she wept, her long obsidian black hair fell over her face. Maya picked up her iPhone. Quickly scrolling, she then held the phone up for Luna. There was a photo of Nico. A selfie. Only part of his lower face showed, but Luna knew his body well enough to confirm it was Nico. Her eyes widened as they darted between the phone and Maya. Nico straddled a chair, his legs covered by fishnet stockings.
“I don’t understand,” Luna said in stunned disbelief.
“Neither do I,” Maya answered sadly. “But I am certain it has to do with cocaine.” She continued, “When Élodie left, he called me to come over. As soon as I arrived, I was sorry. Again, he began pressuring me to do the drugs. He threatened to call a hooker if I wouldn’t obey him. I pleaded with him. I said, ‘I can’t, I have work the next day, and you promised you would stop.’ Luna, it’s always an all-nighter…he can’t come. It’s exhausting—and painful.”
Luna kept her head down, listening. She sensed Maya was deeply humiliated. “So what did you do?”
“I knew he wanted me to use toys to pleasure him and I just couldn’t—it’s disgusting to me. That one time I tried, I just cried until he let me leave. It was awful. I said no, and he stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. He must have thought I left. But I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I sat on the floor and cried. It was quiet, but I knew he was using one of those anal toys on himself. Then I went and slept on the sofa until he came out. It must have been hours, he was soaked in sweat. He looked at me, but it was as if he didn’t know me—like a crazy, wild man. I was so scared. He said nothing. He took a shower and went back into his room. That’s when I left. I just needed to know he was alive.”
Luna finally looked up. Maya looked drained, as if everything in her world had vanished. Luna had no words to console her. But she realized they were both trying to reckon if he had always been this way, or if his desires had driven him down this dark path.
“What are the three books that affected you the most?”
Luna had just given Nico a copy of Jack London’s Call of the Wild. They had watched the 1993 version starring Ricky Schroder at his house, curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine, and they both cried at the end. A classic tale of love and redemption, Luna had written inside on the fly leaf, “It was never about the gold—it was always about the journey.” It struck her how similar she was to Buck—compelled to the mysteriously thrilling and luring wild, but equally bound to the comfort of immutable love.
They were sitting outside drinking beer and eating guacamole and chips, on the antique wicker chairs that had once lived on her sun porch. Things were peaceful. At least for now.
Luna was momentarily stumped, “Do you mean as a child?” Before Nico could answer, she chimed with enthusiasm, “Island of the Blue Dolphins! That book transported me in so many ways!”
“Why?” he asked softly, “What was it about?” She could hear genuine curiosity in his voice.
“Well, first it’s the story of a twelve-year-old Native American girl, in the early eighteen-hundreds. She is accidentally stranded with her little brother on an island off the coast of California when the entire tribe leaves. It’s about loss and survival. It’s beautiful.”
“Ah…so a lot like Call of the Wild.”
Luna smiled at him. He was naturally intelligent and intuitive, making him excellent at his chosen profession. “You are a lot like her, aren’t you, Luna bella?”
“Who?” She’d been thinking about that night, how their feet were touching on the sofa.
“The girl in the dolphin story. Never mind. What are some other books that made you who you are?”
In high school, I read Siddhartha. I had always questioned traditional religions…and that book, about finding spiritual meaning in our existence…well, that was huge for me…”
“Me too! I like spiritual stories. Like the poem you sent me. The one about the ocean. It reminds me of Malibu…”
She just wanted to kiss him right then and there, but that wasn’t possible. She missed walking along the beach with him, their feet caressed by the surf, with the smell of the salt water clinging to their skin and hair. The memory of Nico holding her hand, the wind blowing her hair and him suddenly gazing at her, mystified. How the sunlight reflected in his eyes when he said she looked wild and beautiful there on the beach. It was where they talked, confessing to each other their fears—and their dreams—unsure which would come to pass. That was before she knew the truth about him. About the drugs. And his brutality. Still, they were as eternal as the waves, enduring beyond her lifetime. A constant reminder of time’s continuum.
The poem she’d given him was one she memorized in college, by the Indian poet Tagore.
Ceaseless life floats on the stream of ceaseless death.
To reach what nameless, purposeless shore.
Does this tiny raft cross the perilous sea?
What unseen helmsman in my heart is issuing commands without end?
I know that millions are moving on—
Something remains, when all is ended.
“I can’t believe you memorized that!” His eyes beamed admiringly and he laughed. It was a natural, hearty laugh that came out when he wasn’t trying, but was actually fully entertained. “Ah, Luna. I know you’ve read a great many books, but what books changed you?” Luna got the feeling he was searching for something.
“Lord of the Rings,” the title burst from her lips. “It’s a timeless story that makes you think deeply about human nature…free will…and immortality.”
“Yeah! I never read the books, but I love the movies.”
Luna loved that Nico was drawn to the spiritual teachings of yoga with its Hindu origins and the knowledge of the Q’ero paqos that consequently had become integrated into his life. Long ago, she had written him about Taoism, saying Yoda was really a Zen Master, and quoting from The Phantom Menace about fear being the path to the dark side. It was shocking and disheartening to discover that Nico was manipulative and abusive, an emotional vampire who suffered from an uncontrollable craving and pervasive emptiness that could never be filled. His inner turmoil and persistent anxiety were palpable.
Her own unrest was the result of the ephemeral nature of youth and beauty, over which she had no control. Luna supposed that everyone, other than the most spiritually developed souls, was gripped by desire, hence the Buddhist principle that if you aren’t free from attachment, you are suffering.
“Nico, you always seem to dig deeper and make me think about things. I love you for that, honey. Your turn. What books influenced you?”
“I asked you the question, Luna, for a reason…I want to try to understand you better. You’re a great mystery to me.”
Luna didn’t press further. They sat silently. Neither one commented on the pink halo that hung over the hills, yet they both remained fixated on it. For some reason, with Nico she didn’t feel the need to speak to fill a void.
The greeting in Facebook Messenger was seemingly innocuous:
How are you, my dear?
She’d accepted her friend request, and was now pleasantly surprised to see a private message from Élodie. Luna typed back:
Fine, thank you. How are you?
Seeing the location feature was turned off, she added:
Are you here in L.A.?
London on business. Please, do not tell Nico I text you, OK?
Luna felt an instant twinge of guilt—and fear—carrying on this clandestine correspondence. Especially after having written such a harsh e-mail on Nico’s behalf.
Um, yes. He would be angry. Please delete our conversation when through.
Élodie cautiously began to open up, referring cryptically to Nico’s “problem.”
Everything was so good in Abu Dhabi. He was sweet and loving; it was beautiful. When I came to L.A. the next time, he asked me to bring something from a pharmacy here. A hormone, for anti-aging. I know this is in demand and very expensive there. I brough
t with me 4,000 euros’ worth. He didn’t give me back my money. He tells me to wait for him to sell it.
Luna was flabbergasted.
Wow…I had no idea he was doing that. It’s illegal here.
I know you are his best friend. Maybe you cannot speak with me. When I was there, he gave me a love potion. I know, because I felt it. We made love, like magic. I never felt like that before, with anyone. But days later, he was angry. I am confused. He wants me to live there. He insists I bring money for a big center. But I just met him. I need time. He became rough. I left and went to—how do you say this—cloister.
Luna was more stunned by her candor than by her words:
A church? A monastery?
Yes, I needed to think. I fell very fast in love with Nico. I never loved so much before. But then he showed a different face. I have been crying nonstop. Do you understand?
I understand you very well. Nico gets very anxious.
This I believe. But I am sure it is more. I am just telling you so you know. You are close to him. I hope you understand me. I know you will not say I message with you. He wants a lot of money…for this center. I know wealthy, powerful people, but they don’t know him. I cannot risk myself for him when I don’t know. I will wait and see.
Élodie signed off. Luna sat stunned, still looking at the screen and the typed words in front of her. A wave of panic washed over her as she became terrified Nico would see it.
Luna waited with Nico at Amaru for Élodie’s plane to land at LAX. They had met up in Cannes, but he had come back to L.A. without her since she had business in Paris and London. He’d been frantic all week, fearing she wouldn’t show up. But now he was sitting on the sofa entertaining Luna with a joyful tune on his new guitar. To make up for being away so often on business, Élodie had bought two round-trip tickets to Maui, and Nico was looking forward to surfing there again. Playfully, Nico asked Luna if she wanted to smoke some pot, but she gave him a critical eye. “Nico, you told me you want to clean up your act, why do you tease like this?”
“Luna, pot relaxes me. I have this under control. Élodie is coming, and I’ll use this trip to Maui like a spa and cleanse my body and soul.”
“Well, you better cleanse your mind, too!” she teased.
Luna heard the click, click, click of a rolling suitcase and Élodie’s musical voice ringing out, announcing her arrival.
“Baby, in here,” Nico called out. “Why didn’t you text me?”
“I did. Look at your phone!”
Nico stood up but didn’t immediately embrace her, so Élodie approached him and put her arms around his neck, kissing him, then nuzzling. But Nico remained aloof. Luna speculated about the game he was playing with her.
“What, baby? I’m here now—are you happy?”
“Overjoyed,” he mustered sarcastically.
Luna found his behavior deviant, or at the very least curious. “What’s up, Nico? Give the girl a kiss!”
He obliged Luna and kissed Élodie.
Satisfied, Luna announced, “Well, I’m heading home and leaving you two love birds. Besides, I’m tired and might be coming down with a cold.”
“Wait, Luna. I will make you a special tea. It will keep you from getting sick.”
Élodie piped up, “Ah! Like the potion you made for me? Let’s see…what does he put in the tea?”
Luna inhaled sharply, afraid Nico might realize she’d communicated with Élodie, but he didn’t. He just went to the kitchen cabinet and began filling mugs with herbs while the kettle heated up. Within minutes, he was handing each of them a steaming brew.
Speaking to Luna, Élodie announced nonchalantly, “Nico made me a love potion, and now I cannot resist him.”
Embarrassed by the turn of the conversation, Luna laughed lightly. “I will drink mine and head home to bed—and my husband.” She emphasized the latter. “Nico, give me a hug. I’m not going to see you again before you go. And you’d better behave yourself,” she scolded.
Taking Luna in a much too passionate embrace, he pressed his body against hers, obviously to annoy Élodie. Laughing, Luna gently pushed him an arms-length away, shaking her head. “You are trouble, Nico.” Looking at Élodie she allayed, “He’s only goofing around.” Wishing them a great trip, she left as quickly as she could.
When Luna saw that it was Nico calling her from Maui, she picked up right away. “Luna, did you see my watch?” he asked brusquely.
“What watch?” she asked matter-of-factly.
Angrily, he assailed, “My Breitling. What do you think I mean?”
“Nico, I don’t know what you are asking. I’ve seen you wear that watch. But I don’t recall the last time. I don’t think you were wearing it the night Élodie arrived. Did you bring it with you?”
“I thought I had, but it’s not here.”
“Then maybe you left it in the apartment, or maybe at the house.”
“No, I’m sure it is not at the house. I remember. It was in the apartment. You were there. Did you take it?”
“Did I what?! No! Why would I take your watch?”
“You were the last person with me. The last person to see it.”
Furious at the accusation, Luna snapped, “Élodie was with you. Did you ask her if she saw it?”
“Do you think Élodie would steal my watch?”
She was getting flustered. He was baiting her, and she was unintentionally becoming defensive. “I didn’t accuse anyone of stealing, I’m sure you just misplaced it.”
“Luna, I’m warning you. Tell me right now if you took the watch.” His voice was tight and threatening.
“Nico, I did not take your watch. That’s a ridiculous accusation. I’m hanging up.” The conversation was bizarre, and even though she was safe in her home, she was frightened.
She was about to hang up when she heard Élodie’s voice sobbing in the background. “Nico, what’s going on there?” Luna demanded.
“It’s none of your business. We’re working.” Then she heard the phone disconnect.
Luna was shaken. He was definitely terrorizing Élodie. A few minutes later, another call came in, this time from Élodie. She was screaming and begging for help. “He took my phone! He saw the messages!”
Luna was paralyzed. All her efforts to regain his trust were lost.
Nico snatched the phone from Élodie and railed at her, “You did it again, Luna. Inserting yourself in my life. Causing me trouble!”
“Nico, she messaged me! I didn’t start it! She told me you made her bring human growth hormone into this country illegally! Are you crazy? She could be arrested, and you could, too!”
“Fuck you, Luna!” The phone went dead.
Days later, Nico texted:
I’m on the plane. She left me.
At least he was speaking to her. She texted back:
I’ll be here.
Élodie’s message came soon after:
I am in hospital in Paris. He kicked me in my head. I have a concussion. All my friends see the bruises on my face and say never return to him.
I’m sorry Élodie. Truly I am.
29
Setting aside her fear of the motorcycle, Luna embraced Nico, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist as if to prevent him from unraveling. When he pulled to a stop, she dismounted too quickly, and Nico caught the bike as it became unstable. Instantly, his eyes blazed and she noticed the momentary glare of admonition, but uncharacteristically, he didn’t scold her. Killing the engine, he inhaled deeply and his body uncoiled upon hearing the sound of the waves. Luna took off her helmet, releasing her hair into the cool mist blowing off the ocean. Closing her eyes, she could taste the salt on her tongue. All her previous attempts to get through to him had been abruptly curtailed. Ranting, he had called her an idiot and crazy, or he’d just hung up on her. Alone with him now, she hoped he would confide in her.
Holding hands, they walked silently along the deserted beach until Nico began to speak. His words spilled out like a confe
ssion, the way they did when he was in church with her. “I did a lot of shit, Luna, and I’ve distorted myself…I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. I’m more depressed than ever.”
“Please, Nico. You are a medicine man. A shaman. Great healers are often wounded. This is who you are, but you don’t have to destroy yourself.”
“Luna, I let everyone down. I fucked up. But I’ll get myself back together…and I will earn their respect back.”
Luna kissed the back of his hand, knowing the intimacy of an embrace would make him uncomfortable. “I’m here for you, Nico—whatever you need.”
When he turned to face her, there were tears in his eyes. “Luna, she’s a liar and she played me…she broke my heart.”
Luna understood he meant Élodie, and she could feel the weight of his sadness. There weren’t any words to say that would make it better. This time, she held him close, her cold nose against the warm skin of his neck.
Nico had recently hooked up with a young model named Sloane, who he said was an aspiring actress. Boasting that he was going to make Sloane a big star, he invited Luna to join them to look at a space on Hollywood Boulevard that he said he wanted to convert into a sports bar.
“A sports bar? Really, Nico? What happened to the wellness center?” Luna asked incredulously.
The Sleeping Serpent: Page 43