Open Spaces

by Barbara Winkes

  Summer hated shopping. She much preferred retreating into a book, to her studies, or discussing said books and studies with more or less eager students. Once she’d be able to curb her excitement over her upcoming date, she’d actually enjoy her workday. She had to go shopping though, and she might have to enlist DeeDee’s help. She owed her anyway, and for DeeDee, asking her to hit the stores with a friend meant doing her a favor.

  * * * *

  “Lauren Schaeffer?” DeeDee squealed.

  “I appreciate you shouting this from the rooftops for me,” Summer said dryly when her friend’s exclamation turned some heads at neighboring tables. “I can scratch that off the list now.”

  DeeDee laughed. “You’re welcome. Wow. I didn’t see that coming. That woman is seriously high maintenance. I got the impression she might be playing for our team, but I didn’t think she’d—”

  “What, be interested in me?” Summer asked, regretting her testy tone and everything it revealed the next moment. “God, I wish I hadn’t told you. Besides, I was never that certain what team it is you play for anyway.”

  “Now that last part was unnecessary, but since I wasn’t too clear, I’ll give you a pass. I’m your friend.” DeeDee took the scolding in stride. “Of course you’d tell me—and I meant I didn’t know she was single. Good for you.”

  DeeDee was sincere, and she meant well, always had. Summer was finally able to relax and enjoy the coffee they had on the rooftop terrace of the restaurant. They had done some shopping, even though she still hadn’t gone through with important purchases. She’d bailed at the last moment, not wanting to be too obvious about her plans. Summer winced at the thought of DeeDee naming names in the confines of a lingerie store…Her friend was right, she had isolated herself over the past few years. She’d had no idea that Lauren and the company she worked for were somewhat of a household name in the city.

  “If I had known she’d be the one to get you out of your shell, I would have introduced you right away.” DeeDee studied her for a long moment. “You’ll be okay, right?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This is very unlike you, but you deserved to get out and have a bit of fun for once. I’m happy for you.”

  Summer didn’t argue. She didn’t have words anyway, to describe what she’d felt that night, and the way Lauren’s first text message had made every single doubt vanish into nothing. For now. She liked that state, and she didn’t want to analyze it too much. DeeDee was probably right to think that whatever was between her and Lauren couldn’t last long. She wanted to enjoy it as long as it did, deal with the fallout later.

  They said goodbye in front of the restaurant, but Summer didn’t head for the parking lot. She crossed the street to another store that had caught her attention earlier. She hoped the sales clerk would leave her alone. This wasn’t going to be easy. It would be worth it though.

  * * * *

  Summer realized she’d been brave under the influence, and maybe that courage had lasted until she’d left Lauren’s apartment the next day. Now, standing in front of her door, the urge to turn and run was almost as strong as the one to lose her clothes right there in the hallway. She had tried in the past hours, but she couldn’t figure out her own feelings or the question why Lauren was even interested…until she put her mind to the memory of those unreal moments. Chances were Lauren was interested in repeating the experience. Summer was too, so much.

  She had thought of little else since she’d gotten off work.

  “Hi. You’re right on time.” Lauren sounded a little breathless. Maybe she’d been in a hurry to open the door? Summer felt the tension in her body melt away, her features relax into a smile as she took in the sight of her, the satiny blue shirt and black slacks. They matched nicely.

  “I’ve laid out a few menus. They are really all great restaurants. Oh, and it’s a bit chilly tonight, so I thought you’d like a fire.” Indeed, logs were crackling in the fireplace, a warm woodsy scent coming from the hearth. The last time Summer had been here she’d barely noticed it. There would have been no time anyway.

  “I love it. This is such a great place.”

  “Thanks. I always wanted to build my own place from the ground, but for now, this works. Okay—you can leave this here.” Lauren took her bag from her, then stepped behind her to slip the light jacket from her shoulders. She put it on the coat rack from where it slipped onto the wooden chest underneath. Summer barely noticed and didn’t care as Lauren embraced her from behind, and it didn’t take long for her hands to start wandering, first above, then underneath her shirt.

  “I hope it didn’t sound creepy to you when I said I missed you—I really did.”

  “I missed you too.” For a too long time, Summer had successfully made herself believe that people and relationships always brought complications, making her life harder. Just one night, and she craved the closeness and intimacy. Maybe it was simply human. Maybe it was all because of Lauren and the way she made Summer feel. She turned in her arms, and they shared a long, deep kiss, the subject of food momentarily forgotten.

  “I’m such a terrible host.” Lauren laughed. “I haven’t even let you sit down or asked if you wanted a drink.”

  “Don’t worry. I feel very welcome.”

  “Do you? Want anything to drink, I mean?”

  “I don’t even know how to say this,” Summer confessed. “I…I’m not sure you have any idea.”

  “You think that, maybe I should tell you I thought about putting on a robe, and nothing else, but I assumed that would be a little…forward.”

  “I can do forward.”

  In answer, Lauren tugged on her hand to bring her closer to the fire, an appropriate metaphor, Summer thought. She was giddy with anticipation and desire, trembling with the need to touch, and be touched. Between more heated kisses, she moved to open Lauren’s pants, caressing her hips and stomach before her fingers wandered underneath red lace, finding Lauren warm and wet to her touch. Her own knees went weak at the sensation.

  “Told you it’s not just you,” Lauren rasped. “You don’t like to start in bed, do you?”

  “It’s just too long to get up there—and I always wanted to make love in front of a fireplace.”

  Lauren was probably too caught up in the moment to have noticed her slip of the tongue. Making love was maybe not the best term to describe the intimacy of two people who were together the second time only—counting days, not actual times.

  Summer paused for long enough to give her the chance to step out of her pants that had pooled at her ankles…She had to be missing a moment or so, because she was on her back on the soft beige carpet, Lauren straddling her hips, pinning Summer’s wrists above her head. The sudden jolt of heat to her center made her moan. This was unreal.

  Lauren released her wrists and reached out a hand to caress Summer’s cheek, clearly enjoying her squirming.

  “Anything you want,” she whispered before she scooted further down, settling between her thighs, and pushed up her skirt to reveal yesterday’s purchase, one of them, anyway. Summer had felt strangely naked wearing a thong, but she had assumed—correctly—she wouldn’t wear it for a long time tonight.

  Lauren’s touch was warm and tender, on her hips, her thighs, moving her, opening her. It didn’t take long for Summer to start trembling with anticipated pleasures. The warm wet sensation of the tongue caressing her undid her a bit more with every heartbeat. She kept her eyes open. She could feel the heat of the fire, though she kept her gaze on Lauren who was not only enjoying what she was doing, but also damn good at it.

  She surrendered, body and soul, thinking that from now on, the scent of fire would always bring back these memories, the hot pulse of desire igniting into a deep, shuddering orgasm, her own wordless moans, and Lauren pulling her close, whispering to her softly.

  * * * *

  They settled on Thai food for dinner. When Lauren called the restaurant, they were still in bed, and she didn’t have a stit
ch of clothing on her. She could swear this made Summer slightly self-conscious, which she found endearing—considering everything they’d done together, and to each other.

  “You’re not going to open the door like that, are you?” Summer asked suspiciously, making her laugh. Lauren reached for her glass, pretending to give the question some serious thought.

  “I might put on some panties.”

  “Come on!” It wasn’t just humor in Summer’s eyes when her gaze caught on Lauren’s naked body once more. If she hadn’t been this hungry, Lauren would have gladly called off the delivery person. This other kind of hunger they shared, it was amazing. The past hour or so had brought proof that they hadn’t just developed a short-lived attraction to each other after too many drinks at the museum. In fact, there might be enough time before the food arrived…

  “You were saying?”

  “Just put on something. I can barely control myself around you like this.”

  “Then don’t,” Lauren said, reaching for Summer’s hand to place it where she ached to be touched. There was no hesitation on Summer’s part. No point in questioning something this good.

  When the doorbell rang, she barely made it safely down the stairs, with little consideration for what the young man might think of a woman opening the door in a tank top and shorts under a hastily tied robe. Lauren gave him a good tip.

  “Okay,” she said when they were finally alone again, food divided on plates and glasses refilled, “How was your day?”

  Summer gave her an affectionate smile. “The best ever.”

  There was a certain quality of emotion to her voice that made Lauren pause, even more so, because she recognized the mirror in herself. It was crazy to even go there. It was easier to walk away from great sex eventually, no obligations, no questions asked. Once that kind of emotion came into play, expectations and hopes muddied the waters—not to mention it was much too early for that. However, that was the way she felt, and she’d be damned if she didn’t let herself enjoy it.

  That was her problem, as it had been brought to her attention more than she’d cared to hear about it. She couldn’t let herself stop and enjoy, “smell the roses,” Maryse had said. Maybe she was afraid that if she did, she’d realize her life was empty under a pretty surface. Not that it was true. Lauren believed there was a lot more to being single and happy than being miserable in a relationship, but was she—happy?

  She hadn’t even taken the time to get together with her team once to celebrate the successful opening of the new addition to the museum, which was already yesterday’s news. They were knee-deep in work for the new clients already.

  This apartment…After it was all done to her satisfaction, she had hardly ever spent time to value it as home, the magnificent view of the city, or the fireplace.

  “This is so amazing.” Summer, on the other hand, was in awe. “How do you not lie awake all night and stare at this?”

  Lauren tightened her embrace, placing a kiss on Summer’s shoulder, feeling her shiver with the caress. Her hands were tingling with the want to explore warm soft skin once more.

  “You didn’t, the other night,” she reminded her.

  “That’s because I was exhausted,” Summer said, and they both laughed. True, tonight had been a little different, dinner, talk…not so different, come to think of it. Lauren wondered if they were at that state where she could mention her phone call with her brother today. Ethan and his wife Jo were preparing a surprise birthday party for their father. She wanted to ask about Summer’s mom too.

  If they were at this stage, they had gotten there fast…They didn’t have a lot of knowledge about each other except for the Biblical one. Where to go from here?

  “Yes. I remember.”

  There was something utterly satisfying in being with a lover, exploring each other’s bodies to the point where you’d fall asleep and not even move until the next morning. Then there was this, soft whispers and touches in the dark, maybe escalating into something more. She spelled out her question without words, and Summer yielded to every move of her fingertips. They fit. It was a somewhat startling realization.

  The next morning, there was little time as they both had to get to work early. Lauren decided she was going to test Summer’s willingness to “do forward” some more. She tried to chase the image of coming home to this beautiful woman every day, because that was definitely a faraway, not to mention an unrealistic situation.

  “The next few days are going to be crazy,” she said. “I could do a weekend though, get out of town. If you want.”

  Summer’s surprised smile vanished quickly. “I’d love to, but you know, I see my mom on the weekend. That sounds bad. It’s not like it’s a chore.” She choked up a bit, and Lauren sat across from her, taking her hand.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I was just thinking maybe it would be possible for you to switch it around, go on Friday. I could pick you up and come with you.” She was startled to feel her own vision blur slightly.

  “You would?” Summer’s eyes widened. “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s none of your business really.”

  That stung, even though Lauren was aware Summer probably hadn’t meant it to. Good job trying to tell herself she wasn’t already in over her head.

  “It’s your choice. I could arrange something for the weekend, and I’ll come with you, but only if you’re comfortable with it. Otherwise, we just text. Have dinner next week.”

  If either of us is capable of making it that long.

  Summer squeezed her hand gently. “I’ll call the home and see what they say. Thank you so much.” She wiped a hand over her face. “I’m sorry. We’ll both be late now.”

  “Don’t worry,” Lauren said. “I’m the boss. I can be late if I want.” She was happy to see Summer smile again.

  “Well, the same is not true for me, so I really have to go now. I’ll call you.”

  “Okay. Come here.”

  The danger of being late was increasing exponentially with the long, passionate kiss.

  Chapter Three

  Summer hung up the phone, staring at it for a long moment. For a couple of days, she’d almost fooled herself into thinking that the most important decisions to make were the color and style of lingerie for her next date, but other emotions came rushing back in, reminding her of the real issues in her life in no uncertain terms. Guilt. So many people had told her so many times she had no reason to feel guilty, but she couldn’t help it if she did. She’d deal with it later—at the moment, she needed a more practical approach. She needed to call Lauren and tell her that the weekend trip was a go.

  She had a half hour before her next class, so Summer allowed herself a moment to lean forward and cry. It didn’t happen all the time, and certainly not during the workday, but the conversation with the sympathetic staff at the home had shaken her composure.

  The truth was, to Summer’s mom it wouldn’t make a big difference if she went on Fridays or Saturdays. She hadn’t recognized her during the last few visits. There was no reason for Summer to have any illusions. A sympathetic stranger was all the family she had left.

  She took a deep breath, willing herself to stop going down that road. Summer shook her head, smiling despite herself. She couldn’t think too much about Lauren and last night either, that would be highly inappropriate when in front of a class. She had made a promise though.

  “That’s great news!” Lauren had picked up the phone after two rings. “Listen, I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now. Do you trust me?”

  “I think you know the answer to that question…”

  “Good. I know just the place. I’ll mail you pictures later.”

  “You do that. Thanks,” Summer said, adding “Have a good day.” She felt there was an empty space, an opportunity for something else, but that would be foolish. A week ago, they hadn’t even known each other.

  It was safe to stay on the sidelines and watch your life passing by. The alternative made everything warmer and
brighter. It also came with the risk of getting hurt.

  Sure, her situation was a convenient explanation. People were sympathetic at the beginning of a relationship, but over time, they got bored with someone who already had obligations in their lives. Secretly, Summer feared it might not have anything to do with the fact that she had someone else than herself to think about, but that they might be bored with her. The conclusion, at some point, was to stay away.

  Everything was different with Lauren. The question was for how long.

  * * * *

  “It’s 10:00 p.m. Why are we still here?”

  Lauren detected a hint of whining to Maryse’s tone, but not enough to make her look up from the plans she was studying.

  “I think another floor would work.”

  “Lauren!”

  “You wanted overtime,” she reminded her. “Me…I was thinking of taking a half day on Friday.”

  “No.” Maryse pretended to be shocked, or maybe she actually was. “Did hell freeze over?”

  “Don’t be silly. I’m taking a half day.”

  “With your new girlfriend?”

  “She’s not—” Lauren interrupted herself, because she didn’t want to give Maryse any more insights into her love life, and because she wasn’t exactly sure what to call this relationship yet. Maybe after this weekend, she’d know. Meeting a parent, and spending a couple of days in close quarters should be telling about the future. “Forget what I said, and yes, I intend to spend some time with her. How else are you going to get to know a person?”

  “You are right,” Maryse acknowledged. “Although, in my experience…when you know, you already know. The little things in everyday life are just bonus.”

  “You’re talking in riddles, Maryse. I think we should call it a day. It’s not that simple for everyone.”

  “It’s not about simple. It’s about…being terrified and making that jump anyway.”

  Lauren shook her head. “One word of advice? Don’t quit your day job.”

  “Yeah, right. I hope you’re nicer to her.”