Jennie, though an amazingly talented interior designer, had become a good friend after their failed attempt at being lovers. Sometimes it was hard to tell. If you didn’t click that way, there was nothing you could do. Lauren was going to involve her at some point, but first of all, she was in for a few long nights and days.
* * * *
Lauren called her on a Sunday night, exhausted, but pleased with her progress.
“Hey, Jen, could you come over?”
“You haven’t asked me that in some time.” Jennie sounded intrigued. “What is it you need me for?”
“Could you look at some plans for me and give me your thoughts?”
“Work. I should have known.” Jennie sighed. “Oh well, the things I do for you—still. I could be there in half an hour, if that’s not too late for you.”
Lauren didn’t pause to check her watch. “That’s perfect. Thanks. I owe you.”
“Can’t say I don’t like the sound of that. Okay. See you later.”
“It’s not for work though. I’m going to build that house finally.”
“Wow.” Jennie was silent for a moment. She knew exactly what Lauren was talking about. “Big deal for you. Does that mean…?”
“That means I need your professional opinion,” Lauren said, before Jennie started asking questions she wouldn’t be able to answer.
* * * *
“You’re aware you’re asking my professional opinion on something that technically doesn’t exist yet, right? You know I could come in a little later in the process. What’s your deal here?”
Lauren took a sip of her wine, nothing more, because with the lack of sleep and caffeine intake of the last few days, she’d be worried about the results.
“Do you think it’s possible to build something from nothing? One day, you find the perfect design and you just go for it?”
Jennie chuckled. “Building something from nothing is your job, if I may remind you. I assume this is a metaphor, and you’re asking my opinion on something other than couch cushions? I’m not your financial planner, but I’d think there are other issues you need to consider first. Where do you want to build that house?”
“That’s not a problem. We’re on top regarding new developments, so I can think of a few areas where to buy. I might do something foolish.”
“Then go for it,” Jennie advised. “I’ll get you some kickass fabrics and fixtures for it too.”
They clinked their glasses together. Jennie’s rueful smile told Lauren she might have offered something else, had Lauren been interested. Open spaces. Open questions.
One, however, was easier to answer than the others, she figured.
“After it’s all said and done, how would feel about buying this place?”
“You’re serious?” Jennie asked, baffled. When Lauren nodded, she continued, “Wow, I could so imagine living here! You know I’ve always loved it.” She leaned forward to embrace Lauren.
“I’ll make you a good offer, but remember it will take a while before I can hand you the keys,” Lauren said, chuckling.
“Of course! This is amazing. I don’t know what to say. So, this house…You’ve got someone you’re going to share it with, right?”
“God, I hope so.”
* * * *
Summer had overcome the first shock at hearing the news. It didn’t mean that the pain was gone, but that was something she could deal with, had for a long time. She kept it in the background and did her job anyway. When the big day finally arrived, Lauren wasn’t her “plus one” as she’d dreamed. DeeDee accompanied her instead. As someone who’d never had troubled interacting in a new group, she enjoyed both the experience and the sparkling wine. She hugged Summer often.
“This is it,” she told her, “Your moment. Enjoy it. You’ve worked your ass off for this.”
She didn’t mention Lauren, but Summer couldn’t help thinking they’d been doing the same, earning the rewards of what they had worked for so hard. Maybe one day, she’d be happy she had encouraged Lauren.
When she went to see her mother after a day of congratulations and support, Summer was feeling a lot better than she had on any day since she’d learned about Lauren’s new job. She missed her. It was crazy how much. Yet, her own life wasn’t happening on the sidelines anymore. Maybe it was because of the time they’d spent together that she had a different perspective on it.
Her celebratory mood vanished the moment she met Nurse Tammy, her mother’s favorite. “I’m sorry, Summer, it hasn’t been a good day.”
Of course she should have known it would not be as easy as saying “Mom, I’m a doctor now.”
“Okay. Tell me.”
“She’s been pretty upset, remembering your father’s death. You know—”
“Yes, I know. Don’t take it personally.” For the first time in a long time, Summer had the impulse to turn around, come back another day. It wasn’t like the passage of time meant that much to Connie. She could go twice a day and if Connie recognized her, she might wonder why Summer never came to see her. A regular schedule was as much for Summer’s peace of mind, maybe more, than it was for Connie’s.
Of course, that wasn’t what you did, ever, with the only family you had left. Summer straightened her shoulders.
“That’s okay. Have a good day, Tammy.”
The nurse smiled gently. “You too, Summer. Congratulations.”
Connie would never yell at her. She never had when Summer was a child, and it wasn’t in her personality. She was anxious, and confused though, and that sometimes made her say things that were a lot more hurtful than she ever intended.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand this.”
Summer braced herself.
“All of the money from your father’s account is gone. I can’t find the statements. If you needed money, why didn’t you just say so? We would have worked something out.”
“Mom, we took that money to pay for the funeral and everything, don’t you remember?” What a silly, stupid question. She was on the verge of tears again. Probably it hadn’t been such a good idea to come here today.
“Nurse, could you call my daughter please? I really need to talk to her about those statements,” Connie said a few minutes later.
“Don’t worry, I will,” Summer promised. By the time she was ready to leave, her mother tolerated a quick embrace, and once again Summer asked herself who needed it more. More than anything else, she thought, she needed a drink now.
* * * *
She found a table in a small bistro, starting by ordering a glass of wine. White, sweet, it reminded her of the one she’d had with Lauren the second time. She stared at the checkered tablecloth, wryly thinking there wasn’t much that didn’t remind her of Lauren. She had made a mistake, Summer could see that so clearly now.
It had taken a while for her to be able to look at DeeDee’s words and not be offended, take them for what they were meant to be, a friend trying to help. Only it had been too late. Probably, Lauren had already signed a contract, and even if she wanted to come back, she was bound by that signature. If Summer wasn’t welcome in her life anymore, it was her own fault.
She ordered a second glass of wine, as if, by the power of mindless drinking, she could make a miracle happen. Again. When Summer looked up, she could feel her jaw drop, and for a moment she wondered if the waitress had put something stronger than wine into her glass.
Impossible…
It was true though, on the other side of the room, Lauren sat, with another woman, over some plans. The latter fact told Summer that this was possibly a working dinner, but none of the pieces matched. Lauren was supposed to be working in Atlanta. She had made it clear that she wasn’t going to be traveling back and forth. The woman sitting next to her, with the brown curly hair, was the one Summer had seen at the museum party. She’d never learned her name, and frankly, never cared to.
What now? Could she make it out of the restaurant unseen?
From the loo
ks of it, the two women were actually working—or had Lauren consoled herself quickly? Now was certainly not a good moment for that conversation, but in order to leave, Summer would have to pass by them. She didn’t think she could.
Lauren, as usual, looked extremely put together. Summer resented the woman by her side, even though she was aware of how irrational the sentiment was. She could see the truth in DeeDee’s passionate speech now, more than ever. Today had shown her once again that she couldn’t handle the care for her mother on her own anymore. That didn’t mean she was obliged to make decisions she thought were best for everyone, all the time. She had failed badly, and gained nothing.
That moment, Lauren looked up from her papers, and their eyes met. Summer saw the surprise in her gaze. She didn’t wait around longer, following the impulse to flee after she hastily tossed a bill onto the table. If she was lucky, there was a back door in the restroom area. She couldn’t talk to her.
Lauren wasn’t going to follow her back here, was she? Unsuccessful in her search for the back door, Summer opened the door to the restroom and stepped inside. Still no back door, but at least for now, she was safe here. What irony—even more so since her plan backfired. A moment later, Lauren joined her.
“I thought I might find you in here. We seem to have a pattern.”
Lauren’s words lacked the sarcasm Summer had feared they might carry. Her voice was the familiar warm tone. Up close, she seemed as anxious about this chance encounter as Summer was.
“Why are you in here? I mean…you know what I mean.” Truth be told, she was scared of asking that question, because the answer she got might not be what she hoped for. All of a sudden, she couldn’t imagine leaving this room without knowing for sure whether the mistake she’d made was in any way forgivable.
“Yes, I do.” Instead of an explanation, Lauren stepped forward and pulled her close. “I’m sorry,” she said, but didn’t make any move to let go.
Summer felt slightly dumbfounded, but not a bit sorry. Because today was one of those days she needed a hug badly. Because she didn’t want Lauren to let go—ever. Of course, it wasn’t as easy as that. Nothing was.
“I wish I had listened the first time. Some of the things I said…it’s a big decision, but I was wrong thinking I had to make it for you. I guess it’s too late now.”
“I didn’t take the job,” Lauren whispered. Summer wasn’t sure if she’d understood correctly, and if she had…
“Oh my God.”
“I must admit He was not on the list of people I consulted, but I can tell you the result would have been the same. I swear I wanted to find a good moment to talk to you rather than putting the moves on you in yet another restroom, but here we are.”
“Yes.” It would have been so easy to cross the line, because they’d been there before, let actions speak louder than words, but that had left them with many things unclear the last time. “I am so happy to see you, but I had a terrible day…well,” Summer corrected herself, “not all of it was terrible, the part where I can now put the ‘Dr.’ in front of my name wasn’t, of course, but my mom…she wasn’t well today.”
“I’m so sorry about that.” Lauren ran the back of her hand against Summer’s cheek, the tender gesture almost too much. “Congratulations, though. I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t do that. You’re making me cry.”
“That’s not my intention.” Lauren smiled ruefully. “In fact, I was hoping we could have that talk. I understand if you don’t feel much like celebrating, but you should take a moment to honor your accomplishment. Besides, you haven’t had dinner yet, have you?”
Summer shook her head. “This is awkward. I swear I’m not always trying to drown my misery in alcohol.”
“I get it. Let me go pay and we can leave?”
“What will the lady at your table say about that?”
“I’ll cover the bill,” Lauren said. “I think Jennie will be okay with that. Come on. There’s so much I have to tell you.”
Summer couldn’t help smiling at her excitement, and this moment, she realized that most likely, there would always be this difference between them. She would always worry more, sometimes without reason. As long as Lauren could deal with that, Summer might just learn from her rosier approach to life.
“Lauren, wait!”
Already at the door, Lauren turned around, and Summer walked into her embrace to kiss her. All of a sudden, the world felt right again, even with everything sad and uncertain in it. She had missed that feeling so much.
“I’m afraid I can’t stay any longer, but the bill’s on me,” Lauren told the other woman when they were back in the bistro. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Jennie regarded Summer with interest.
“I see you ran into an old friend. You two have a great evening.”
“Thank you.”
Lauren paid at the counter, and they left the restaurant.
“I’m sure I’m not getting any points for originality, but would you mind if we went to my apartment? My car’s here.”
“It’s fine,” Summer assured her. “So… Jennie? She’s…?”
“Yes. Ex.” Lauren smiled to herself as she started the car. “She’s also one of the best interior designers I know, that’s why I had to meet her. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you all about it.”
Summer leaned back in her seat, startled to realize that the heaviness of the past days was finally gone. They second chance she had hoped for was here.
* * * *
“It was good for me to go to Atlanta.” Lauren felt like she needed to say this, and more, because she didn’t want any doubts hanging between them anymore, hers, Summer’s. Enough with that. “Don’t get me wrong, I was missing you every single moment, but you were right that it’s not something to take lightly. There are great people in the local team, and they were very welcoming. I’d get a much bigger office all to myself—and the bigger paycheck. All of that made me see without a doubt that I already have the job I want, with the people I want to work with—and frankly, I realized how spoiled I’ve been. Sure, I have worked hard, but I guess I never had to fight for something I wanted so much. If I’m lucky, the person I love hasn’t given up on us meanwhile.”
“I haven’t. I…went to your office,” Summer confessed. “Maryse told me you had gone down to Atlanta, and I just didn’t know what to think. I thought it was over.”
Lauren had a confession of her own to make.
“I thought about staying. I thought of all the possibilities, but this is home, this is where I want to be. You are still the main reason why. I hope you’re okay with that.”
“More than okay. I think that makes me very lucky.”
“Good. Because I’d like to go back to a conversation we had earlier. First, though, I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask. What happened with your mom?”
Summer shrugged though the tone of her voice was all but casual. “A bad day. It happens. She remembers something sad, like my Dad’s death, and it gets all mixed up. You can slow it down, and the people at the home are both skilled and kind, but…you can’t stop it.”
Lauren had once read about the stages of Alzheimer’s, so she had a vague idea even though Connie was the first person affected by the disease she’d met. There was nothing she could do to challenge Summer’s words, and she realized how much having to deal with this situation by herself must have played into her reaction.
“You know, this…us…It doesn’t mean I want to make all the decisions from now on. It just means we make them together.”
“I’m all right with that.” Summer gave her a grateful smile. “I wonder if we could make a detour by my apartment. Just so I have something to wear tomorrow…?”
“I like that idea.”
* * * *
The place had always felt comfortable, Lauren reflected, but it had never felt this much like home. Once the door closed behind them, they kissed, with more passion than earlier in the restroom. There was little doub
t they’d delay the food delivery to a later time, as another kind of hunger, all of a sudden, was a lot more important. Leaving a string of discarded clothes behind them, they finally made it to the bed. Lauren reached behind Summer to open the clasp of her bra, gently removing the last pieces of fabric separating them, the stockings down around her ankles, and the black panties.
“I’m afraid I sound like a broken record, but I missed you so much.” She placed kisses over Summer’s chest and stomach that made her squirm, then reached up to caress her breasts. She couldn’t touch her enough, but fortunately Summer didn’t mind her haste or lack of eloquence. In a sequence of impatient movements, she removed her own clothes, and they were wrapped around each other naked, every kiss, every touch a confirmation. She cherished Summer’s quiet gasp, and the less quiet sounds that followed when she pressed her fingertips into warm wetness, then gently invaded her.
The response of her own body was swift, a pleasant tense of muscles, hot, pulsing. Lauren caught her breath for a moment before she scooted down further on the bed. She was intent of giving Summer the welcome she’d imagined, and she did, tasting her, pleasuring her with lips and tongue. Summer succumbed to their intimate connection, shuddering with the intensity of her climax. Lauren held her until she lay still and her moans turned into gasps, and until her breathing returned to normal.
There was no subtext, no questions, no room for misunderstandings.
As Lauren straightened to lay down beside Summer, running a gentle hand over her trembling form, she said, “I still want to marry you.” No point in putting that off, was there?
“Yes,” Summer whispered, her eyes still closed. She was smiling.
“You’re not just saying this because of my mad skills, are you?”
Summer laughed. She held Lauren’s gaze, the affection in hers breathtaking. “I’m not saying they aren’t a factor in my decision…Actually, I base it on the fact that less than two weeks apart from you made me miserable. I love you. I don’t care about anyone who says this is going too fast. It’s going the way it’s going.”
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