“I was hoping you were going to say that,” Xander says from behind me. I squeal and turn to find him a breath away from me. He holds keys at eye height and I struggle to focus on them, because I can’t stop looking at him. He still manages to take my breath away. “This place is for you. Well for us, if you want it that is?”
I squeal and jump into his arms. He catches me just like he promised he always would and kisses me. I swear I’ve never been so happy. I pull away from him and wrap my arms around his neck.
“Thank you Xander! You have no idea what this means to me.”
I hear Dimitri clear his throat and realise he’s stood behind Xander.
“Don’t I get a thank you for talking the big brute round, huh?” I jump down and hug him to.
“Thank you D,” I whisper to him.
“Anytime Addie, you know I’ve got you. But you should know, one of us will always be here with you. Too much has happened to leave you out here on your own.”
I cross my arms and bite down on my lip. I should’ve known it was too good to be true. I refuse to let this ruin my happy. I take a deep breath and let it out.
“Fine, but I’m decorating and none of you get to say anything!” I say, sulking. “And I get to hire whoever I want to help!”
Xander and D look at me sceptically, and I can see the excitement on Rose’s face.
“Oh my gosh! We’re calling Michael right?!” she squeals in excitement.
“No!” Xander roars. “The whole point of this is to keep you safe. If we invite them here, then there’s no point in moving you here. We’ll stay at the palace!”
I look at Rose who looks like she’s going to cry. I walk over to her and hug her.
“You freaking idiot! Did you really need to yell at her like that?! I mean seriously. Sometimes you really don’t have a clue do you! Get out. We’ll follow you back later, but right now, I can’t even look at you.”
I hear footsteps retreat before the door slams. I know D has gone with him, he’ll make him calm down before I see him later. Men!
***
We moved in two weeks ago, and surprisingly, we’ve not fought that much and when we do, it’s mainly about the babysitters I endure when he’s not here. Admittedly it’s normally D or Ali, and I can handle that, but it’s the others. The ones I don’t know as well. They creep me out a bit too, but we’re getting there.
I’ve been pottering about in the kitchen all day cooking. D & Xander are over for dinner tonight with Rose, because she leaves tomorrow. The pain that thought causes slashes through me, it’s like losing Livvy all over again. She’ll literally be half a world away, and I don’t know when I’ll get to see her again. I take a deep breath and push the pain down. I can get through this. She’s cried almost every time I’ve seen her since she found out she was leaving. I know she’s happy to get to see her family, but it’s been so long, she’s terrified. That’s why I wanted to do this for tonight. I can’t cook for shit, but I wanted her to know that we care.
I make sure nothing’s burning and set the table. Xander made sure I have everything I could ever possibly want here. I’m pretty sure he’s just using it as a distraction so that I don’t start looking for a day job. Apparently it’s safer if I’m home. What he doesn’t know is that whatever is going on with me seems to be getting, well… more. Things are starting to be amplified, my sight, hearing, taste, touch; which has made some things amazing. But it means that I’ve had to shield from him so much. I know for sure he knows something is going on, and I’m hoping he gets here soon so I can talk to him about it before the others get here.
My wish is granted when the door opens and I feel him. He doesn’t seem angry, so it’s better now than never.
“Addie? Are you here?”
“I’m in the kitchen,” I reply, and grab him a bottle of blood from the fridge. I pop it in the microwave for him to heat it a little. This had been another learning curve. Who would’ve thought living with a Vampyr, Fallen, whatever, would be so gross. I’m getting used to it though. Better this than him chomping down on someone!
He walks in the room as the microwave dings and grabs the bottle. He walks over to me and puts the bottle down before wrapping his arms around me and drawing me in to a massive hug. He tucks his face into the crook of my neck and breaths deeply, and I sigh.
“I miss you,” he says to me, and the guilt hits me hard. I’ve been hiding so much from him; I hadn’t realised I was causing so much distance between us.
“We need to talk,” I say. He nods and leans against the counter. I pull away from him and wring out my hands. Damn this is hard. “Okay, this is way harder than I thought it would be.” I look up and see his understanding eyes, encouraging me to tell him all of my secrets.
“I don’t even know where to start, and I’m probably going to ramble but I need you not to get angry okay? And don’t speak until I’m done, otherwise I’ll never get it out.” I look at him, and he looks cautious but nods regardless.
“Okay, so ever since my birthday I’ve noticed things happening to me. I’ve been changing I guess. It started small. I was faster, I could move easier in training, anticipate what was going to happen. Then it became more, I could feel people’s emotions, at times it was like they were going to take me over. Then there were the voices. I started being able to hear the thoughts of people around me. I learned how to put up a wall and keep people out, even that seemed to come too easy, and now there’s more. I can see better, hear better. I can feel… more. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this before, I just didn’t know how to, or what was happening, and I wanted to try and work it out on my own.” I take a deep breath having just blurted that all out and look at the floor. I daren’t look up, I can picture the anger swirling through those beautiful eyes of his.
“Addie, look at me,” he asks softly. I look up and I don’t see anger, but I see sadness and hurt. “You could’ve told me. I could’ve helped you with it all. I wish you could’ve trusted me enough to tell me what’s been going on with you. I suspected something was wrong, but I didn’t want to presume. Please always come to me with this stuff okay?”
I nod and walk over to him where he holds out his arms to me. I squeeze against him and breath him in, relief floods me. He’s not angry, but then…
“Why aren’t you surprised?” I ask him, looking up at his face, and his shield comes down, his emotions shutting off. I hate it when he does that!
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m trying to take it all in, understand it all.”
“I know that, I can sense it. But I can also sense that you’re not surprised. You knew something didn’t you? Something you kept from me, something you’re still keeping from me!” I shout. I can’t believe this! He knew, he knew this whole time. Is that why he got so close to me? Is this the real reason Kaden took me? I push away from him and distance myself from him.
“Addie, come on…”
“Don’t you dare Xander Bane. What do you know?” I ask.
“Don’t do this Addie,” he replies.
“That is not an answer!”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything! I want to know what you’re hiding from me. Why didn’t you tell me? What else is happening to me?”
“Addie, I can’t, not yet. You don’t understand.”
“I understand perfectly,” I say, anger clouding everything. “We’re going to have this dinner for Rose, and we’re going to pretend nothing’s wrong. You should be good at that, your acting skills are on point, and then you’re going to get out, do you understand me? I don’t want to see you. I need some time alone.”
“Addie, you know I can’t leave you alone. I’ve got to go away with the team, but I’ll make sure someone is here.”
“Don’t you dare. I don’t want any of your so called protection. Leave me alone. I need some space. Does anyone else know? Does Dimitri know?”
The look on his face tells me everything I need to know and I ru
n into the bedroom and lock the door behind me, a few seconds later I hear him leave. Time and time again they prove to me that I can’t trust them. They keep things from me, and yet I keep letting them back in. Not again. I walk over to the mirror and wipe away the tears that have escaped, and put my happy mask back on. Tonight is about Rose and it will be perfect for her, tomorrow I can let my life fall apart.
I finish prepping the meal just in time. Rose and her parents are standing on my porch and I’m in total awe. I have freaking Fae Royals in my house.
“Come in, please. It’s so nice to meet you both,” I say to them as Rose squeals and hugs me.
“Addie, stop being so polite it doesn’t suit you, just be yourself,” Rose says and I hear her mom and dad laugh at me.
“Addie, this is my mum and dad, Talia and Charles Frostheart. Mum and Dad, this is Addie,” Rose introduces us officially, and her parents both hug me. This is so surreal.
“It’s so wonderful to meet you at last Addie, we’ve heard a lot about you!” Talia says, smiling at me. Her smile is so gentle and kind. I understand now why she is known as ‘The Peoples Queen’. Her dad wraps me up in a giant bear hug.
“Thank you for bringing her back to us,” he whispers to me, his eyes glassy when he pulls back.
“I’d do it all over again if I had to. She’s one of the best people I’ve ever known.”
He pulls me close again and hugs me in the way only a dad can. I’m kind of jealous of Rose for having him. Maybe she’ll share.
Xander and Dimitri arrive a little later, informing me the rest of the Elite are stationed around the property, along with the guards the Frosthearts came with too. I feel bad that they’re outside, but I could never have cooked for everyone anyway.
“If everyone would like to take a seat, we’re just waiting on one more and then I’ll serve. Xander, can you get everyone a drink please?” I ask, I’m so not used to playing the host. I don’t think I’m very well suited to it. Benny arrives a few minutes later looking dashing.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here Benny boy. You scrub up good!” I say, bringing him in for a hug, laughing that he has to almost bend in half just so I can.
“Hey short stack. I’m not late am I?” he looks nervous; I’ve never seen him look that way before.
“You’re fine Benny. They’re going to love you; just like I do. Now come on!” I drag him through to the dining room and he sits down opposite Rose, just as I planned. Unfortunately, that means he’s also next to Charles, and I think I can see him visibly shake with nerves. Poor guy.
Dinner goes well, and everyone seems to get on. Xander drops his dickish charm from earlier and acts like his normal self.
“So I have something to announce,” Rose says quietly, but captures the attention of the room. She looks nervous so I smile at her to encourage her. I think I know what’s coming, but she has to tell herself. She takes a deep breath and looks around the room. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been home, and that is no-one’s fault, but I want to know I have people there I can trust. That being said, Mum, Dad. I’ve chosen Benny to be my personal guard. Before you say anything, he has been trained by Dimitri and Xander, and he passed out into the guard. He’s a bloody giant, and I trust him, so I think he’s the best person for the job.” She doesn’t take a breath and I see Benny pale. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so tense.
“I think that’s wonderful news!” Talia squeals in delight clapping her hands. Charles claps Benny on the back, and smiles.
“Well, I guess we best to get to know each other a bit better, son,” he says to him shaking Benny’s hand. I see Benny gulp and nod and can’t keep the giggle in. Rose hears and laughs too.
“Well, now that’s over with, does anybody want cake?”
The night wraps up and everyone prepares to leave, when Rose corners me in the kitchen.
“I can’t believe you’re not going to be with me every day. I don’t even know how I survived without you Addie. You’re like the sister I always wanted.”
“I’m going to miss you Rose. I mean it, I know I can be a total bitch sometimes, but you’re my best friend. Just don’t forget me okay?”
“That is never going to happen! Once I’m home and settled in, you have to come and visit. Promise?”
“I promise.” I hug her tight and try not to cry. I hate saying goodbye.
“Thank you for saving me Addie,” she whispers to me as she draws back, tears filling her eyes.
“I’d save you every time. Remember, you are worth everything. You are one of the best people I have ever known, and you are strong. They didn’t take that from you, they couldn’t, no-one can.”
I hug her again before she turns and leaves, I hear her saying goodbye to everyone else, before I hear the door shut. I can’t believe she’s gone.
***
Last night was so surreal. Saying goodbye to Rose was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. She promised to come back soon and visit, as well as making me promise I’d go to visit her as soon as I got chance.
She knew something was wrong, but didn’t pry and that’s why I love her. When she left she clung to me sobbing about having to go without me and I broke all over again. A small part of my fragile heart broke off, and she took it with her when she left.
Dimitri and Xander left shortly after she did, going wherever the hell it is they’ve got to go this time. Xander tried to talk to me again before they left, but since I refused to speak to either of them, he didn’t have much luck. The look on Dimitri’s face as I blocked him out was heart-breaking, but by that point I was numb. Xander said he knew too, another thing they both kept from me. I’ve had enough.
So I’ve sat here all day in my very own pity party, watching The Notebook on repeat, wallowing in my own misery. This house might not be very big, but right now it feels huge. I get up and grab a drink, thank god for peach vodka! I pour myself a glass, when I hear a knock at the door. Fucking babysitters. I take a swig of the drink and savour the burn as it works its way down. I walk over to the door, ready to yell at whoever it is that’s on my porch. Whoever it is knocks again.
“I’m coming!” Jeez.
I walk to the door and yank it open.
Holy fuck.
“Livvy?” I can’t help but stare at her. She looks so familiar, but so very different all at once.
“In the flesh!” she laughs, but it sounds so hollow. I look at her closer, and while she’s definitely Livvy, her eyes and cheeks are hollow and dark. Her hair still shines like it used to, but it’s black now instead of blonde, and her skin is so pale against it. While I know that the Livvy standing in front of me isn’t my Livvy, my brain doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with what I’m seeing. She tilts her head at me and a dark smile graces her lips.
“What’s wrong Addie? Didn’t you miss me? Aren’t you glad to see me alive, well not technically, but I’m here.”
“It’s not that Livvy, but you’re not you anymore are you? You’re one of them, and that means you gave up your soul, so you can’t be you,” I say to her, still not really believing that this is real.
“Ah, but I didn’t. I didn’t choose this, and I didn’t give it up to him. It’s still in here somewhere, I just don’t engage with it unless I have to. All of that pain, that pathetic weakness, it does nothing but disable me in this life, but I’m still me Addie. Please believe me?” she pleads, and I want to believe her, really I do, but I don’t trust so easy anymore. I learned my lesson.
“Why are you here Livvy?” I ask. I’m sure my scepticism is all over my face.
“I’m here for you Addie. I missed you, and he wouldn’t let me out before, not until I could control myself, and I can now.”
“Who is he?”
“He is Cole.”
“Cole? Who the hell is Cole? You’ve been with him this entire freaking time?”
“Where else would I have been? And Cole is the Vampyr that syred me. He’s out in the drift, not on either
side of the war. I didn’t even know there were Vamps like him until, well until I became this.”
“I thought you were dead Liv! Do you even understand that? DEAD! And now you tell me that you couldn’t even send me a letter to tell me you were freaking alive!”
“Oh go do one! It’s not like I haven’t been dealing with shit Ad! I turned into a fucking Vampyr! I’ve had so much going on in my head this past year, I couldn’t have told you up from fucking down until a few months ago, when I started to gain some control over myself. Like I said, Cole wouldn’t let me out, he wouldn’t let me be around ANYONE. I’ve seen no-one but him for over a fucking year! And then when he finally lets me come to you, this is what I get! Nice to see you too Addie!”
“Don’t be like that Liv, you know me. You, more than anybody else, know me. You know I can’t just accept this shit straight away! This is a lot! My best friend is a fucking Vampyr! And after everything I’ve dealt with since you died, or… whatever, none of it has made me more trusting Liv. I wish Xander was here right now,” I sigh.
“He’s not here?”
“No, he got called out on some stupid secret mission with the rest of them. It’s just me.”
“Wow, I really have missed a lot. Want to try and catch me up some? We can make popcorn like we used to? I could do with some home comforts.” I soften at her request. Maybe she’s just been dealt a shitty hand. I know she didn’t ask to become a Vampyr, maybe she’ll speak to Xander and ask to join the ranks. If she’s still got her soul, surely it’s a possibility?
“Yeah sure, come on Liv, let me just pop some in.”
We sit and talk for hours, about everything since she left. About Ty, and Xander and that giant mess. About the whirlwind my life has been since she left. I don’t tell her about the big secret that seems to surround me, because I haven’t even begun to figure it out myself, and no-one seems to want to let me in on it. I don’t tell her about Xander, Kaden or the others either, I don’t know what she knows, but that’s not a secret I’m not about to tell. She doesn’t tell me much about what she’s been through, but I can see the haunted look in her eyes so I don’t press her to tell me.
Descent (The Immortal Chronicles Book 1) Page 19