Heart of the Moment (Heart's Intent, #3)

by Brower, Dawn

  He stepped back and removed all of his clothing. He had to be inside her or he’d lose his mind. Hell, he’d probably lose his mind either way, but at least he’d have the pleasure of doing so while buried in her tight channel. He ripped open a condom package he’d pulled out of his pocket and slid the protection on his hard cock. Then he crawled into the bed with her and pushed himself slowly inside of her. She moaned as he filled her.

  “Is this what you want?” he asked.

  “Yes. Give it all to me.”

  Preston kissed her and pushed his tongue into her mouth. He held himself still inside of her until she began to wiggle beneath him. When this was all said and done, she’d realize she couldn’t control him the way she believed. He’d wanted her and she’d thought to use that to her advantage. He gave in to that desire, but he wasn’t the weakling she believed him to be.

  “Preston,” she begged. “Fuck me now.”

  “Not yet,” he said and kissed her neck and shoulder. “You’re not ready.”

  “I am,” she said. “I promise. I need you to move.”

  He was well aware how much she did indeed want him to start moving. But he wasn’t going to until he couldn’t stand not doing it. This was a test of control for him. He had to do it this way or he’d forever be a doormat where she was concerned. There had to be a balance, and if this was the way he could achieve it, then he’d damn well hold out as long as possible.

  Jessica tried to move underneath him, but he held her in place. He lifted his head and stared down at her. She licked her lips and kept her focus on him. Her gaze didn’t waver once, and it was then that he allowed himself to pull out and then push back into her. He kept a steady pattern of strokes as he stared down at her. She lifted her legs, bending them at the knees and hugged them against his waist. He quickened his pace and she moaned with each new thrust.

  Through the entire process, they kept their gazes locked and didn’t utter a word. When they both climaxed at the same time, it was beautiful and so pleasurable he was momentarily blinded. He’d never felt anything like it in his entire life. It almost felt as if they were merging together as one and their souls touched.

  He was probably being ridiculous, but he didn’t know how else to describe it. That moment, no matter how brief it was, had changed something deep inside of him. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be the same again after it. He’d always known Jessica was the love of his life. Now though—he thought it might go deeper than that.

  “That was...” Jessica’s voice trailed off.

  “Yes,” he agreed. Words were unnecessary. How did you explain something that wasn’t definable?

  He rolled off her and disposed of the condom. Then he came back into the room and pushed the comforter down on the bed. He lifted Jessica and put her underneath the covers and joined her. They would have plenty of time to talk. For now, he’d hold her and enjoy the moment. There was a lot of uncertainty in life, and he’d not question his good fortune. Jessica would come around, and he could be patient enough to wait for her to realize where she belonged. He didn’t doubt for a moment that she loved him. Maybe it was time to be the person she’d always relied on and wait for her to work through it all on her own. If he pushed, he might lose her. Preston refused to allow that to happen.

  Jessica cuddled against him and sighed. Her breathing evened out as she slid into sleep. He wouldn’t be able to properly gauge the situation until he had a real conversation with her. In the morning, he’d see where they stood and decide what his next step would be.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Jessica rolled over to her side and reached across the bed. Her eyes flew open and she stared at the empty space next to her. Had she imagined the night before? No that was ridiculous. Preston had been there and they’d had an incredible night together. They’d made love more than once and she’d basked in the pleasure of being in his arms. It was the last gift she was allowing herself. Yet, when she’d realized he was no longer beside her... She gulped down a lump in her throat and fought back the tears threatening to spill. Her heart plummeted inside as the agony of his loss set in. Maybe he realized she’d been saying goodbye and saved them both the pain of having to say it aloud.

  Bella yipped, bringing Jessica out of her misery. “Oh, puppy,” she said. “Do you want to come up on the bed with me?” The dog wagged her tail and barked again. “Come here, darling, and give me some hugs.” Bella trotted over to the side of the bed and Jessica lifted her up. She jumped onto Jessica immediately and started to lick her face. Jessica laughed and hugged her close. “At least I have you.”

  It really was better that Preston had already left. Avoiding him might be the best bet for the future too. She didn’t want to have the dreaded conversation with him. Jessica wasn’t sure why he’d left without saying a word, but it couldn’t be a good sign. He’d been the one to come by, and he’d pushed for them to talk. Jessica had derailed the inevitable by kissing him. She hadn’t expected he’d give up so easily. If, and mostly likely when, they talked, it wouldn’t be fun. She’d have to tell him that she’d made a mistake and they had no future. It had been a mistake to kiss him and let him make love to her. Now it would be even harder for her to let him go again. It was one of the most difficult things she’d ever done. Preston was the only person who had ever made her feel loved. She hadn’t realized how much she needed that until him. With Ren it had been more about keeping something she thought belonged to her. They had cared about each other, sure, but her feelings for Preston had always been different.

  Jessica patted Bella’s head. “What am I going to do?” The dog barked and licked her face again. “I suppose you need to go outside for a potty break.” She sighed and moved the dog off to the side, then pulled the blankets off her to slide out of the bed. She headed across the room, grabbed her robe, and slid it on tying the sash around her waist. Bella sat at the foot of the bed wagging her tail excitedly. She was so tiny she had trouble getting on and off the bed by herself. Jessica laughed, picked the puppy up, and then carried her out of the room.

  She headed toward the kitchen to let Bella out into the backyard to do her business. When she entered the kitchen, she stopped short and almost screamed. Her mouth fell open but no sound came out. Her heart raced in her chest and she brought her hand up to it as a reflex.

  “You’re awake,” Preston said. He held a white sheet of paper up for her to see. “I wrote you a note. I didn’t want to disturb you.” He grinned. “You looked like you could use the extra sleep.”

  Damn it. She’d thought he left, and here he was lounging in her kitchen as if he owned the place. Irritation settled into her gut where hurt had previously resided. “Sleep is overrated. You could’ve woken me.” Where the hell had that come from? Had someone turned off her filter and allowed it so anything would pop out of her mouth? That was not good...

  “Maybe next time,” he said and strolled over to her side. Preston leaned down and kissed her lightly. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay. I have an early surgery scheduled, and I’m already running late.”

  She frowned up at him. This was so damn hard. All she wanted to do was fall into his arms and beg him to stay. Her selfishness was rearing its ugly head, and she had to rein it in. Preston was a brilliant surgeon and people depended on him to save their lives. He had to go and make sure that his patient had the best care possible. Besides she was supposed to push him away and let him live his life. He didn’t need to be tied down with her and the unending baggage she brought to a relationship.

  “Then you should go.” Jessica pulled away from him and turned so he couldn’t see her face. “I have to let the dog out before she has an accident.” As far as excuses went, it sat at the high end of lame. She did her best to keep her emotions out of her voice but feared she failed miserably. Why did she have to be so damn needy?

  She opened the back door and let Bella run free in her backyard. The fence gave Bella that ability, and Jessica didn’t have to worry about harm coming to
her. The dog went wild, running through the grass and sniffing everything and anything she came across. Jessica didn’t think there was a blade of grass or bush Bella hadn’t stopped to stick her nose on. Whatever the appeal was she’d never know, but it made her dog happy. Laughter spilled out of her as the dog enjoyed her morning sojourn in the yard. Why couldn’t everyone be as happy as her dog and enjoy all of life’s moments? Would she ever have that? Perhaps that wasn’t her fate, but for now, she’d take the small gifts she’d been given and try to make the best of it.

  “She sure does love running.” Preston stood behind her. His heat wrapped around her and hugged every inch of her. She closed her eyes and basked in it for a few seconds before she had to step away. If she didn’t put distance between them, she’d be falling into his arms again.

  “Puppies usually do,” she replied. As if she had a clue what a puppy normally did. It sounded good anyway. After she adopted Bella, she’d researched her breed so she’d have an idea what to expect. Other dogs—Jessica didn’t really care. Bella was all that mattered, and she’d wanted to make sure she had the best care possible.

  “Why did you want a dog?” he asked, confusion filling his voice.

  Jessica spun around and glared at him. “I don’t like the tone in your voice. What is wrong with having a dog?”

  Maybe she was overreacting a bit, but she loved Bella. There was a time she wouldn’t have seen herself as a dog person. Ren had always wanted a dog, and she’d refused to let him get one. Maybe if she had sooner Jessica wouldn’t be so baffled by her love for her new puppy. Now that Bella was in her life though... She couldn’t imagine not having her. The way Preston had asked that question made her want to punch him.

  “There is nothing wrong with it.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry if you took the question the wrong way, but you have to admit that having a pet of any kind...”

  She held up her hand and interrupted him. “Don’t even say it because, if you do, I might have to hurt you.”

  “Sweetheart...”

  “No,” Jessica said. “You’re going to say I’m too selfish to have a dog.” Tears were threatening to spill again. When had she turned into an emotional mess? “I’m not, damn it. Bella needs me as much as I need her, but do you know what I don’t need?”

  “Jess,” Preston said. “I didn’t.” He stopped and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t want to argue with you, and I honestly don’t have time for your hysteria. We do need to talk, so why don’t I come by later and we can discuss everything like reasonable adults.”

  Jessica curled her hands into tight fists and tried her best to restrain the urge to punch his perfect face. The condescending asshole thought he knew better than her. Well, damn him and his judgmental attitude. “Don’t let me keep you,” she sneered and walked away from him. “Go run to the hospital and do your surgery.” She sounded like a mega bitch, but she couldn’t make herself care.

  “Please, do not make this into something it isn’t. I’m begging you,” he said franticly.

  “I’m not the one sitting up there on a ledge looking down at me.” She turned and glared at him. “You did that all by yourself. Do me a favor and don’t come by later. I’ll be busy.”

  She had no plans other than to see her oncologist later, but he didn’t need to know that. Maybe she’d call Lana and tell her what was going on. She’d offered to listen, and Jessica had yet to take her up on it. She needed support though, and it was time to take her up on that offer. Preston couldn’t be the one she leaned on. She loved him, and perhaps she was overreacting to his statement. Surely she couldn’t be held accountable for that though. A lot had happened to her in a short time, and she was an emotional mess. It was for the best no matter what. He had to let her go, and she had to find a way to live without him.

  The muscles in his cheek twitched and his mouth formed a hard, thin line. He appeared to be trying to hold his anger in check. Well, bully for him. She wouldn’t be doing the same. “Why are you still here?” she asked.

  “I ask myself that very question every day.” He stalked toward her. “Why do I let you treat me like shit? Why did I fall in love with one of the biggest harpies known to man? Because, to be honest, at times like this, I don’t find you very likeable.” Jessica took a step back out of his reach. “But the thing is, I also realize this isn’t the whole package. The Jessica I know is sweet, kind, and lovable. So, by all means, be a bitch if you need to from time to time.” Her back hit the wall. He stopped in front of her and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “But, darling, I’m not going anywhere. Do your worst because nothing you do will push me out of your life. I will be by later and we will talk. Try to find the nice Jessica while I’m away.”

  “Do what you want,” she retorted. “You always do, but Preston dear, I will not be here. Go find someone else to intimidate because you do nothing for me.”

  What the hell was she trying to accomplish? Goading him wasn’t going to make him stay away. He’d use that as his battle cry as he stormed through every barrier she put up. Shit. How was she going to make him give up on her now? He was even more determined than ever.

  “I could prove you wrong,” he said wickedly. “We both know you’d enjoy it too.”

  “Please,” she replied disdainfully and rolled her eyes. “Don’t embarrass yourself.”

  Someone needed to muzzle her before she said something she couldn’t extricate herself from. Heat filled her body, and her stomach fluttered with anticipation. She had never wanted him more than she did in that moment. Preston stared down at her and brought his hand up to her cheek. He pulled her into his arms and placed his lips on hers. She moaned as his tongue invaded her mouth and she wrapped her arms around his waist. His kiss was intoxicating, and she’d never have enough. How could one man be so damn addicting? Jessica lowered her hands and squeezed his tight ass. Need flooded every inch of her and she craved his touch.

  Preston pulled away from her and took a step back. His lips tilted upward, and in that moment, she realized she’d lost the battle. How had she ever thought she could win? He was the one person she’d never be able to resist, and the bastard was well aware of it.

  “I don’t think I’m the one who should be mortified, “he said. She slapped him hard. He rubbed his reddened cheek. “I might have deserved that, but we both know what you really want. Too bad I have to go.” He picked up his jacket and turned toward her. He saluted her and spun on his heels to walk out of the kitchen. As he exited he said, “Be here later.”

  The audacity! As if she would stay home like a good little woman and wait for him to come home. He’d realize his mistake too late. There wasn’t a chance in hell she’d remain in place because he ordered it.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Jessica had texted Lana immediately after Preston left. She hadn’t even stopped to consider if her new friend would be awake or not. It wasn’t that early right? The sun had already risen, so that was a good sign that it was safe to call. At least she hoped so. All she’d thought was she needed someone to talk to, and Lana was the one person she could have that conversation with. It was time to open up and let her in. Bella was good for her, but a dog couldn’t give advice. She was currently napping on the floor in the spot of sunlight streaming through the window.

  In some ways, she was jealous of her dog. She was so carefree and always seemed happy. Jessica, in comparison, was a raw bundle of nerves and on the brink of emotional overload. If happiness were knocking at her door, she’d kick it outside because it was so unrecognizable to her. When had she ever been truly happy? She’d set herself on a path she thought would bring her everything she wanted out of life. In retrospect, her idea of what would give her everything her heart desired was laughable.

  Knocking filled the room and brought Jessica back to reality. Lana must have finally arrived. She jumped up and practically ran to the door. When she swung it open, she was surprised to find a delivery man on the other side. “Can
I help you?” She hadn’t ordered anything, yet he held a sizable box up for her.

  “I have a delivery for a...” He checked his tablet and glanced back at her. “Jessica Sousa.”

  “That’s me,” she replied. Had someone sent her something?

  The delivery man held out his tablet to her and gestured toward it. “I need you to sign here to accept the delivery. It has delivery confirmation on it.” Jessica frowned and used the stylus he handed her to sign her name on the screen. What the hell could be in that box? It had to be important for them to need to make sure she received it.

  The delivery man handed her the box and nodded toward her. “Have a nice day.” Then turned and headed back to his vehicle.

  She carried the box to the living room and set it on the table. It was taped up rather well and she’d have to find scissors to open it. Once she located a pair, she returned to the box and snipped the tape until she could freely open it. Inside were stacks of unopened envelopes—all addressed to her in care of her accountant. Fear settled into the pit of her stomach. Her hands shook as she pulled the first one out and ripped it open. It was a credit card bill. To be more accurate, an unpaid credit card bill. That wasn’t the scariest part though. The bill was for a credit card she didn’t even have. Had the accountant applied for it in her name? Had his treachery run deeper than she’d believed?

  She rifled through all the envelopes and after she got half way through the box, she stared off into space. The more she opened the more she realized she was in deeper than she thought. The stacks of bills and credit lines opened in her name were enormous. Someone had even bought a boat in her name. A damn speedboat... Where the damn thing was, she hadn’t a clue, but she clearly still owed money on it.