by K. D. Kinney
“The computer I programmed for bunker assignments sorted everyone into what it considered to be a balanced population on evacuation day. I’m sure the computer determined that you were a match for me. That’s why I have gone out of my way to avoid you. Nothing personal. I like you. I just don’t like computers having that much control over my life. See where we are because of it?”
My jaw dropped. I glanced at the ground when I couldn’t stop the flush that burned my cheeks.
“Now we can’t do anything with computers but manage security in this bunker and keep people entertained so they don’t kill each other. Doing anything internet or digital over the air waves lures the funnel clouds to us. Loud music reverberates off everything so it confuses the storms ability to detect human and animal life. Now we have to burrow underground like a bunch of moles hoping that Mother Nature’s army doesn’t flush us out and kill us all. It is a revolution and we’re on the losing side.” Brandon rubbed his eyes. “I’ve done everything I can to fortify our bunker. With everyone deceased in the two closest to ours, I think I have done a pretty good job so far. What kills me is not knowing if there are any other survivors anywhere. Like you, not knowing if my parents or brothers and sister are alive is driving me crazy.” He sighed, tossing the tablet aside.”This might make you feel better. I’ve been looking back through the bunker records. Your family and mine were assigned to bunkers I designed. The bunker managers have been close associates of mine from the start. I know they will follow my protocols. It could be years before we ever know for sure if they made it.”
“What about Jim’s family?” I asked with a tiny bit of hope.
Brandon shook his head. “I haven’t let on that I know anything about his family. But I couldn’t find them on any lists. They might not have survived the beginning of the coastal storms. The information I have is limited. The record keeping on that side of the country went into blackout days before we did.”
When I finally looked at him, his eyes were glassy and he pulled me to my feet as he stood up. “Screw computers.” Brandon pulled me into his chest and hugged me tight, his hand tangled in my hair as he held me close. He gave me a little peace with what he shared about my family. I was so sad for Jim. I couldn’t help it. I cried on his shoulder. I was reluctant to let go. Being in Brandon’s arms was far better than being alone.
2
6
In Hiding
It had been a few days since I nearly killed myself, and quite possibly all of the people in the bunker due to my carelessness. Well, it wasn’t on purpose. I was trying to save a cat, and then my dog, and that about did us all in. I can’t quite forget the feeling in my chest when the air was sucked out of my lungs as I was pulled towards the door to the outside. The power of the storm was unbelievable. That extreme weather somehow killed all the people in the two bunkers closest to ours not that long ago.
There was a knock on the door. I cowered under my blanket. The dogs wouldn’t stop barking to let me know there was a visitor they had to greet. How about I chase the dogs into their kennels for forcing me to answer it? Instead, I wrapped myself in my blanket and shuffled to the door, barely opening it a crack.
Jim gave me a fatherly concerned smile. “You okay?”
I rubbed my nose with a tissue. It wasn’t really runny. Just sore and red from crying. “I think I’m sick or something. Might be getting a cold,” I said with my best fake, stuffy nose voice.
Jim took a couple steps back. “Should I get the doctor? They were all over the Martins when their kids caught the flu. Something about being all locked up together, they want to keep the crud from spreading.”
“Really? I’ll just stay put. I’m sure it will pass in a few days.”
“I’ll let them know. Can I get you anything? It kind of smells like you successfully burned your kitchen down.”
“Does it? I’m not really hungry. Thanks though.” I really wanted him to go. I was having a hard time keeping the tears from spilling out of my eyes. “I don’t want to get you sick.”
He studied my face until I looked down at the ground. “You know, it’s not that big of a deal.” Jim wasn’t my dad, but he sure had me figured out.
“I just don’t feel good.” I rubbed my face with the blanket and pushed the dogs away from the door with my foot.
“All right. I will tell the doctors what’s up. I miss seeing you around. So get better soon.”
“Thanks.” I bit my lip. Being alone was getting easier as long as no one bothered me. I suddenly missed him too. I really missed my dad even more, but Jim was able to fill that hole a little. I slowly closed the door when he turned and walked away.
There were plenty of reasons why I wasn’t leaving my apartment or sleeping well. Brandon, the big man in charge—wait, he wasn’t a big man, he was a young one, about twenty-six and only a few years older than me— was always on my mind, even when he ticked me off. He said he would tell everyone to blame me for the current change in status of being locked underground for the unforeseeable future. That wasn’t boding well with me at all. I was too ashamed to show my face to the others. Besides, he never gave me a job so I had nothing to do, and honestly, college classes had been pretty much pointless if I was going to end up here.
I had no idea how many days I stayed in my apartment. Since there wasn’t any sunlight to determine day from night, I couldn’t tell and I didn’t care. I felt as if I was only taking catnaps in between the blaring music from the lock-downs when the storms passed over us. They were coming far too often. The William Tell Overture lock-down theme song became just like any other alarm. However, I shivered in terror, buried in my blankets when the flashbacks happened.
Thank goodness my dogs Dobbers and Yodel helped comfort me by hanging out in my bed. I did take the dogs and Rocky the rescue squirrel just outside the apartment door occasionally for brief walks down the hall. One of the nice things I noticed Brandon did for me was have Hydroponics install a little dog yard at the end of the hall. That was as far as I’d venture out my door and I never stayed out for long.
Jim was kind enough to check on me again to tell me the physician said self-quarantine was required. Even though I wasn’t actually sick, it didn’t break my heart one bit. I still felt awful that my mistake changed everything for him and he no longer had a job as a security guard in the lobby.
The Anderson’s’ little girls knocked on my door a couple days later.
They were relentless with their knocking and the dogs answered back with ceaseless barking until I opened the door a crack. “You guys only need to knock once.”
“You wouldn’t answer.” Little Alison was a determined six-year-old, with her hands on her hips. I couldn’t help liking her with her matter-of-fact, take charge, personality.
“There might have been a reason I didn’t come.”
“Why wouldn’t you open the door to us?” four-year-old Maddy asked. She was super cute, awful small for four, and had the cutest blonde bob with enormous blue eyes
“I don’t feel very good.” I held the dogs back with my foot.
“Mommy says you’re probably depressed. See, Ali. Mom told us not to bother her.”
“Well, Daddy said we always make everything better. He says we’re like the best kind of medicine.” Alison turned her head to the side and gave me an enormous smile as if she was trying to win me over the way she could with her dad. I knew all about that sort of thing when I was her age.
“I think your dad means that when he’s talking about your mommy and daddy. It doesn’t quite work like that with me.”
“We miss the dogs and Rocky. You don’t come walking with them anymore.” Maddy had a pretty cute pout.
I opened the door wider to let the dogs out in the hall. Dobbers and Yodel romped and tussled around the girls’ feet, greeting them with their high-pitched hello bark. Rocky stayed in his nest. He had no interest in house guests.
I enjoyed hearing the girls giggle as they chased the dogs down the
hall. I pressed the side of my head against the door to watch. I couldn’t help laughing. When they were done, the dogs scampered inside to get a drink. The girls couldn’t stop giggling when they ran up to me.
“Thank you,” Alison said as she grabbed her sister’s hand. They ran back down the hall to go home giggling at the sister secrets they shared with each other all along the way. Their dad was right. They were the best kind of medicine. The little girls weren’t bothered by life in the bunker. They were happy enough and not brooding over the fact that they may never go outside again.
I was about to close my door when I saw him and my heart jumped into my throat. Brandon stopped to speak to the girls just before they made it to the stairs.
I shut the door running my hands through my messy hair. I brushed off the front of my shirt and tripped over my shoes on the way to the bathroom. There was no helping how bad I looked. I threw water on my face and tried to brush my teeth at the same time. I yanked a hairbrush through my long hair with little luck at detangling it as I hustled into the living room chucking shoes, blankets, a couple towels, possibly some garbage into my room. I tripped over Yodel in my haste. He yelped, scurrying to his kennel.
Rocky barked back in squirrel. Probably chastising me for hurting his friend. I tossed him a peanut before scooping the nutshell mess off the ground and barely got them in the garbage when he knocked on the door.
“Just a minute,” I yelled louder than was necessary. Then the dogs were barking all over again. I stuffed the garbage down before I hid that in my room too. I knew I wasn’t recycling right. There was no salvaging the kitchen and my horrible burnt attempts at home cooking though. I’d been starving mostly. My cooking failures stunk up the room. I washed my hands real quick. Drying them on my sweatpants, I took a deep breath before turning the handle. I did a quick mental block so I didn’t think too hard about my shirt. I probably needed to change it, but I was already opening the door.
“Oh, hi.” My face flushed something fierce even though I was trying to act as if I didn’t really care that it was him at my door.
“Umm.” Brandon looked at the floor. He almost met my gaze but examined the trim instead. “Everyone is worried about you. You’ve been in hiding since the storm disaster the other day. I must owe you an apology or something.”
He was so uncomfortable, I almost started squirming for him.
“Has it been that long? I couldn’t tell. I am having a hard time. But it’s not all your fault. An apology won’t help.” I let the dogs run out into the hall again. Then I could look at them and not him. “I mean, you sealed the lid on this underground tin can after I almost killed myself and possibly everyone else. That’s all me. I’m sure you let everyone know it’s my fault, not yours.”
“This bunker is made of concrete, not metal.” He looked at me all confused. Brandon had to be one of those uber smart people that lacked social skills, or lacked imagination and didn’t understand sarcasm. “I was going to close off the lobby anyway. I made sure everyone understood that.”
“Telling people you always had that plan might sound like you took responsibility, but I don’t think you get how people still judge. Timing is everything. I got caught in the lobby leaving doors open to rescue cats and dogs. We were locked down tight after that. Everyone talks, they all know, they will all judge me. It doesn’t matter if it almost sucked the life out of me. Everyone knows the dumb college girl tried to get the dorm supervisor’s attention any way she could and wound up costing everyone their freedom. Did you need something other than asking me to come out of my self-imposed exile? I don’t mind it really.”
“This isn’t a dorm, what are you talking about? I am trying to create a community here. I need you to come and act like you’re a part of it before I have a mutiny on my hands.” Brandon’s voice changed and he wasn’t demanding. His eyes were wide as if his life depended on his plea.
“Mutiny happens on pirate ships.” I could play literal games too.
“Well, we are stuck in a bunker in the desert like you would be on a ship out on the sea. Mutiny can apply here too.” Brandon’s hands started to tremble. He glanced down the hall as if someone might see him. He pushed my door open the rest of the way and stood in the center of my apartment. Brandon obviously had more to say, nearly working himself up into a panic attack before he even said a word. He had always been so ignorant of everyone’s distress that it was a huge change to see him unsettled.
I called the dogs in. He wrung his hands and waited for me to close the door. His nervousness made me wonder if leaving the door open would make me feel more comfortable. I shut it anyway.
Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. “I’ve been having nightmares since the other day. That’s not new, I’ve had nightmares for months that the bunkers would fail, and I’m always the only one that survives the storm attack while I watch all the evacuees die. Now I’m not dreaming about the storms anymore. It is about the people wanting to kill me for locking them in. When I’m awake, I hear the murmuring when I’m around them. The chatter always comes back to you. I dreamed that you died and they blamed me. I dreamed that you led everyone to come and kill me.” His face flushed before he went on. “I also dreamed that you wanted to be with me, you know, like a girlfriend, but everyone was afraid I wouldn’t protect them if I liked you back and they killed you. Every nightmare has something to do with you. All the murmuring I hear in the daytime has to do with concern for Rachel and how I need to fix it.” He was so distressed. “Please help me fix this before I go crazy.”
I really felt for him. But my own nightmares were too close to real life and were keeping me from leaving my apartment.
“What do you expect me to say to everyone? I’m still terrified. I saw what’s out there, that the storms are searching for us. Since no one else has seen what you and I have seen, am I not supposed to say much?”
“At this point it doesn’t matter. Maybe if you tell them what is out there, everyone will settle down. I don’t know. They don’t trust me even though I haven’t given them a reason not to.”
“If I come out, you need to be a better friend. I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend or anything like that. Just try to be nicer to everyone so this isn’t so miserable. Your aloofness is what puts everyone off.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets and examined a stain on the floor. That was a mistake. My face flushed from my slothful ways. I kicked a couple of used, crumpled-up tissues out of the way. I couldn’t remember if they were considered contraband. Something about reducing waste.
“I’ll do what I can. I’ll try harder. I’ll even give you a job if you tell me what you want to do. Do you want to go to Live Food Management?”
“No, no, no. I only like my animals. I don’t want to hang out at the farm. Why can’t you call it that?”
“What? The Farm?”
“Yes. That sounds more relatable to all of us than what those poor animals will eventually become.”
“Are you a vegetarian?” Brandon was genuinely interested.
“No, I just don’t want to go around calling the chickens dinner instead. Or the cows steak.”
“I see.” He sighed. “We need to have some discussions, I suppose. I want to make this place nice for everyone, but I have a tendency to see things differently than anyone else. I’ve always been that way.”
“Well, don’t judge anything by the way the Harpers see the world. They are off their rockers in a whole different way and expect special treatment. They totally don’t deserve it here.”
“They are my biggest problem.” He nodded lost in thought.
“So first we call Live Food Management, The Farm instead and I will come out of exile to calm everyone down. Is that where we start?”
His shoulders relaxed. “Yes, that sounds like a good place to start.”
“I really don’t have that much power.” I shook my head. How was I supposed to console over two hundred people by making an appearance? I wasn’t royalty or as important a
s Brandon seemed to think I was. Whatever, wallflower girl always kept her word and that was what I planned to do. Maybe I could blend back into barely existing again once I reappeared. They probably wouldn’t notice me anyhow. Besides, all they wanted to see were my dogs and Rocky.
7
Cafeteria or Pressure Cooker
I wasn’t in a hurry for the meet and greet to save Brandon’s butt. Cleaning up was a much better idea. I didn’t look at myself before I got in the shower. I didn’t want to be mortified over what Brandon had just looked at. He was so distressed, he probably didn’t notice. Or maybe I looked so bad he couldn’t stand looking at me. Since my apartment needed some attention, I took care of that too. My dishes took the longest. I had to give up. Unfortunately, I was pretty certain I ruined all my pots and pans.
After I had procrastinated all I could, I took my little trio to the cafeteria. My stomach told me how much it wanted some real food, growling louder and louder the closer we got. I tried to prepare myself for tons of attention, or a total absence of it, as I reached for the door in the stairway.
The dogs made a spectacle of themselves as they romped, wrestled, and chased each other in the large open space of the community area. I held my breath as one by one people noticed the dogs and then discovered me. Stuffing my hands in my sweatshirt pockets, I walked slowly in search of what my stomach told me it wanted. I struggled to meet anyone’s gaze though. That didn’t stop them from crowding around and following me to my destination.
“So he let you out?” “You are alive!” “What did Brandon do to you?” The questions all came out at once and I didn’t know what I should say to any of them.