“Whoa.”
He looked up to me with eyes so sad and remorseful that it made my heart melt. I wished I could take him in my arms and kiss away all of his scars. He spoke quietly, “I’m so sorry.”
I stepped up to hug him tightly, speaking in his ear, “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“How can you say that? I thought you’d hate me after the way I acted.”
“I could never hate you… I love you.”
He hugged me back, burrowing his face in my neck and breathing deep. “I was so scared you were really gone,” he whispered, “I’ve never been so afraid of anything in my life.”
He took my face in his hands, brushing his lips on mine slowly and tenderly at first, building up to a sweetly passionate kiss that left me breathless. Suddenly, I was acutely aware that I had nothing on underneath his T shirt. My knees felt weak again, only this time, it wasn’t the low blood sugar.
He drew back, asking in a husky voice, “Are eggs alright?”
“Huh? Oh… uh, anything will be fine.”
I stepped around the jumble of books and wood on the floor, picked out a change of clothes, and retreated to the bathroom. Everything seemed strange and dreamlike to me, and I couldn’t really believe that I was actually there, doing something as mundane as looking on the shelf for my shampoo. I realized that I had actually been preparing to die not so very long ago. I started to shiver.
I stood under the hot water, thinking about Nixie swimming alone in the cold sea. I worried about whether or not she made it back to see Nerissa and Lorelei, hoping she’d remember to warn them about the mermaid hunter’s methods. I prayed that once she was safely home she’d be restored to the same joyous little sister I first fell in love with.
Edwards was dead and gone, and now his special connection to Nixie need never be known to anyone. Some of the evil hybrids on the council might still want to meddle with their relatives in the sea, but there would be no reason to single her out anymore. I was confident that she was as safe as any mermaid could be.
I wondered how often I’d have to remind my sisters about the ruthless tactics of the mermaid hunters. I had to find a way to make the terrible memories stick. There was no denying they were drawn to humanity, but they had to learn to be more careful. How many burns would it take to keep them from touching the proverbial stovetop?
I dressed, stepping out of the bathroom to the smells and sounds of cooking coming from the small kitchen. I went to the bedroom to find Ethan had hurriedly picked up, making the bed and stacking his books neatly in the corner.
I noticed a broken picture frame in the garbage, and looked down to see a picture of Ethan as a little boy, sitting alongside a younger looking Ruby. It was the only picture he had of her, so I retrieved it, prying it from the shattered glass and tucking it away into a book. You never know, I thought. He might want it someday.
I had to believe that people could change.
I went to the kitchen, and Ethan sat me down to feed me eggs and toast. I was quiet, and I ate slowly, still feeling as though I was somehow not really there. Images from the past few days swirled in my mind, and I tried to come to grips with it all. Ethan cleared the plates and took my hand, leading me to the couch with sweet wordless attentiveness.
“Abby’s looking for you,” he told me. “Your dad called her– I guess he wanted to talk to you or something.”
“I see,” I frowned. “I kind of took off suddenly.”
“Why?” he asked softly. “Why would you go there all alone?”
I told him about my vision of the dead mermaid, explaining, “I had to know if it was true.”
“Do you want me to call Abby for you?” he asked.
“No, no, I’ll do it,” I reached for Ethan’s phone and dialed.
Abby answered, and asked me if everything was alright. “I’m sorry I worried you,” I told her, “I lost my phone... Yeah…I’ve been painting out at my studio… sure…. School’s kinda keeping me busy… How about Saturday?” I hung up and met Ethan’s eyes.
“She wants to know where I’ve been spending my nights… I think she’s onto us,” I joked, making him smile. “We’ve been summoned to dinner.”
Relieved that she bought my story, I eased back down, laying my head on his shoulder with a sigh.
“Are you tired? I made the bed for you.”
“I guess, but I don’t think I can sleep right now.”
He put his arms around me and pulled me close. After a few minutes he spoke quietly, “She was here to spy on you.”
“I know.”
“You tried to tell me, but I was just so stupid,” he said bitterly, “I hate her.”
I was more than a little surprised to find myself defending Ruby, “She thought she was protecting you.”
He sneered with disgust, “They paid her to come.”
“I know, but Olivia recruited her personally… and muses can be awfully persuasive.”
“I don’t want to talk about her,” he said with finality.
I lay my head back down on his chest, and he kissed my forehead. We sat quietly for awhile, listening to each other breathe. I was tired, but something was bothering me, something that just didn’t make sense. I sat up to face him.
“You must have been pretty angry with me to trash your room,” I said, searching his eyes for an answer.
“I wasn’t mad at you,” he said sincerely, “I was mad at myself.”
“For what?”
“For letting myself believe.”
“Believe? The letter?”
He shook his head no and looked down, groping for the words, “This feeling, the way I feel about you– need you… it scares me. I– I always thought that it was too good to be true, and you were gonna wake up one day and change your mind about me. I’ve been expecting something bad to happen. Like, I’ve just been waiting for it…” He sighed, “I figured if I expected it, then I wouldn’t hurt so bad when the goodbye finally came.”
I took his hand in mine, resting my chin on his shoulder.
He looked up, struggling to explain himself, “But it didn’t work… I never felt so bad my whole life. I was mad for letting myself believe we were gonna make it.”
I squeezed his hand, “You have to believe it, or we won’t.”
“When I thought you were gone, it was awful... I didn’t know what to do… I guess I took it out on my room.” He looked down sheepishly.
“Ethan…” I kissed his ear, “Don’t ever do that again… You have to believe I’m not going anywhere. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”
He shook his head ruefully, “I was a fool to listen to her… She kept making me think… I should have realized it wouldn’t be like you to just run off without saying anything.” He turned to look me in the eyes, “You’re the bravest person I know.”
Now it was my turn to feel ashamed, and I hung my head.
“More like the stupidest. I knew something was up, but I trusted Paul. He said he wanted to tell Boris and Evie himself, and I didn’t want to get him in trouble for not doing a good enough job.” I put my palm to my forehead, shaking my head at my blindness, “I should have told everyone that I was being followed.”
He turned sideways to face me, “You knew? And you didn’t tell me? What were you thinking?”
I needed to own up to my weaknesses, but I couldn’t help sounding defensive, “It didn’t seem like that big of a deal… I thought I had it under control. You were busy with your mother and– and I figured that you had enough to worry about.”
He exhaled loudly in frustration, “Marina… You’ve got to stop shutting me out.”
“And you have to believe in me.”
We both had a point, and we both knew it. It was quiet for a few beats, then we spoke simultaneously, each raising our voices.
“WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME?”
His blue eyes crinkled up at the corners, and together, we burst into cathartic laughter.
When we fin
ally caught our breath he turned serious, taking both of my hands, “I love you… I’m just gonna have to learn how to have faith in what I can’t see.”
I smiled at the familiar words, and now I finally understood what Rosa and Nixie had meant by them. If Ethan could learn to have faith in my love, I could find a way to have faith that he could handle whatever truth I had to dish out. I could and I would.
With a sudden surge of joyful energy, I came to him, crawling up on his lap and kissing him breathless with my hands in his hair.
Pretty soon we were rolling on the couch, giving in to the euphoria of our reunion. It was time to get serious and stop tormenting each other. Something clicked right then, and I knew that nothing would be able to come between us, ever again. I think he felt it too.
“How are you feeling?” he asked me, brushing the hair out of my eyes.
“Much better,” I smiled, kissing his nose.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said, eyes fixed on mine.
“Okay,” I breathed.
We knew each other very well, and not at all. We went down the hall hand in hand, bumping into each other awkwardly as we took turns brushing our teeth at the sink. He left the bathroom, and I changed into a sleeping shirt, taking a deep breath and running my fingers through my hair.
I took one last look at the girl in the mirror, leaving behind the past. I wanted to forge a future with Ethan; I wanted it more than anything. I was going to have to learn how to be more open, sharing both the sweet and bitter parts of my life with him. I flashed on the image of the home he dreamed of building on his land by the sea. We were going to make it there together someday, because we simply had to.
After all, I’d already seen it… hadn’t I?
~
Chapter Twenty-Seven
SLEEP IN
~
I started awake at dawn, with Ethan’s strong body curled around mine. For an instant I froze, afraid it was only a dream, and I might suddenly wake to find myself still trapped inside Edwards’ chamber of horrors. I shivered at the thought, and in response Ethan pulled the blankets up higher, kissing the back of my neck.
“Are you cold?” he whispered.
I snuggled up against him, shuddering with happiness this time, “No.”
I drifted back to sleep on a tide of contentment, dreaming sweet dreams filled with deep blue skies and turquoise seas. The next thing I knew, the sun was streaming glorious golden light through the window. I blinked, rolling over to see Ethan’s eyes, the same color as my dreams, wide open and smiling at me.
“Good morning Dollface,” he said.
I smiled, “Morning.”
“From now on,” he pronounced, “I’m never going to sleep without you next to me.” He spoke with such conviction, I couldn’t doubt what he said was true.
“Okay,” I whispered. He wasn’t going to get any arguments from me.
He traced the contours of my face, running his fingertips along my jawline, “You’re so beautiful.”
I turned away, my cheeks flushing warm, “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”
He pulled me closer, molding himself to me, “I’m taking a day off. We can do whatever you want today, as long as it’s with me.”
I sighed with contentment, thinking with wonder what a difference a day made. I was floating on a sea of happiness, musing that I might as well be in heaven. Warm and safe, Ethan’s voice rumbled in my ear, and his fingers twined in mine. If I was a cat, I’d be purring.
“What do I want to do?” I asked playfully.
“I could stay right here like this forever,” he replied, nuzzling my ear until I giggled.
“Before you go all John and Yoko on me, there is the issue of coffee,” I sighed. “I don’t think I can go forever without it. In fact, I may be going through serious caffeine withdrawal right now.”
He chuckled, kissing my ear and rising up on one elbow, “I suppose I should pick up my truck from the school lot before they tow it. Hey, what happened to your car?”
I told him how they’d ditched the Rover at the airport, and explained the lengths they’d gone to in order to cover their tracks. I could tell he wanted to know what had happened at the lab, but he was careful not to push me, asking only a few gently probing questions.
I thought about how the story would make him feel, and I considered skipping over a few parts. Then I realized if I wanted him to change for me, I was going to have to go against my own instincts and change for him. I forced myself to pour out all the terrifying details, surprised that it had actually happened when I realized how awful it sounded.
He stroked my hair soothingly, listening quietly as I told him everything. I held nothing back, and when I was finally finished with the whole gruesome tale he kissed my cheek, pressing his face on mine, “Don’t ever even think about hurting yourself again.”
“I thought there was no hope. I didn’t want to let them win... but I was too cowardly.”
“No, you were too brave. It takes more courage to keep going than it does to give up.”
“Or faith,” I added.
He sucked in a sharp breath, “I’m so sorry. I swear I’ll never doubt you again.”
“It wouldn’t have made a difference. They were going to grab me no matter what. They were only watching me to see if I’d lead them to Nixie.”
I could feel his body tense at the thought. “They all deserved what they got,” he said, “I’d kill them myself if they weren’t already dead!”
“Don’t talk like that,” I said, even though I felt the same way.
“Edwards should have known better. He must not have noticed how bad things tend to happen to people that mess with you.”
The thought had occurred to me. Pretty much everyone who had crossed me ended up dead, and there was only one possible explanation. I’d also noticed that it wasn’t necessarily me that did anything. Whatever this muse magic was, it was certainly unpredictable.
“They were about to take me and Nixie out of the country. Things would have turned out very differently if you hadn’t shown up,” I said.
“I wouldn’t have been much help without Yuri. Thank God he was there when I called. He didn’t even question me– He just raced out here.”
“When did you realize the letter was a fake?” I asked. “Paul seemed to think they did a pretty good job on the forgery.”
“She slipped up and dropped Olivia’s name.” He spat out the first word, and I noticed how “she” was no longer “Mom”, or even “Ruby”. I could tell he’d decided he’d rather be angry than hurt, and I understood. He had a long way to go before he came to terms with it.
“How did you know I was at the lab?” I asked.
“I didn’t. Yuri had a hunch, and it made sense after what you said about all the security there. Anyway, he came down from the city to meet me at the university,” he smiled, “And he helped me convince Max to get us into the lab.”
“Convince?”
He chuckled, “Okay, force. But you saw him! Once we got there, Max really stepped up to the plate– I think he surprised himself. You must have inspired him to help.”
I shook my head, “Poor Max. I think he got the shock of his life… and to top it all off his research is ruined.”
I wondered who else was aware of the lab’s secret mission, thinking of the night that Nixie had been delivered. If she had been captured by the university’s research vessel, surely Professor Powell knew something about it. I heaved a breath, afraid that my work was not finished yet.
“What’s the matter?” Ethan asked.
“I need to go check on Nixie.”
“You should give it a couple of days,” he suggested. “You need to rest.”
I sighed, “I’m worried about her. She was so scared.”
He kissed my cheek, “I’ll go with you when you’re up to it, but I have a feeling she’s fine… Did you see her when Yuri put her in the water? She took off like a bat out of hell!”
&nb
sp; With that imagery he had me laughing, and he rolled me over to look into his smiling eyes. Soon he was on top of me, kissing my neck until all my worries were forgotten. I could hear his phone ringing in the background.
“Shouldn’t you see who that is?” I breathed in his ear.
“Mmm…” he kissed me again, “Nope.”
The phone rang and rang, and we both remembered who it was the last time that happened.
“Evie,” we said in unison.
Ethan got up with a groan, returning with the phone. “Bingo,” he said, handing it to me. “I’ll go get you that coffee,” he whispered, kissing my cheek and leaving me to my conversation. I watched him leave the room, clad only in his underwear. I sighed.
I brought the phone to my ear, “Evie?”
“Marina! Are you all right? I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault! How could I have not seen it?” she wailed, nearly hysterical, “I could kill Paul!” she seethed.
“Fate already took care of that one,” I remembered the twisted grimace on his dead face with a shudder.
“Oh, Marina,” she moaned. “A trusted friend recommended him to my employ… How many of the council are in league with Olivia? How could they all be so corrupt?”
I could hear the devastation in her voice, and I knew she was feeling the sting of betrayal, just like me… just like Ethan. “I’m so sorry.”
“How are you? Did they hurt you?” she asked.
I did my best to calm her down, “It’s okay, Aunt Evie… I’m fine. I’m with Ethan. Where are you?”
“Right now, about I’m about forty thousand feet over Chile. I left Argentina as soon as Yuri called.”
“Where’s Cruz?” I asked, alarmed.
“He stayed behind to visit with his sisters– They really are such delightful young ladies, and Cruz is having a ball getting to know them. I told him I had pressing business to attend to, and I’d send the plane back for him and Brad in a week. I couldn’t bear the thought of spoiling his family reunion.”
My heart sank when I remembered Brad, “What about Bradley? What should we tell him about his father?”
The Turning Tides (Marina's Tales) Page 25